Help! Todler Transitioning to Big Girl Help

My daughter is actually going through a 'scary' phase too. I think it must be an age related thing, you just happened to change her bed at the same time! Hang in there and comfort her as necessary, but you sound like me... you will not fall asleep with her, you don't want her out of her room..it will all pass, just be consistent and enforce that bedtime is what it is. Anyway-- it will all work out!

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Hi D., It sounds to me like she's not ready for a bed! My first was in her crib until she was nearly 3. During the transition we put her crib next to her bed and offered her the choice. She actually just stayed in the bed. We kept the crib there for a couple weeks and finally took it down. It's my experience that if you meet a lot of resistance with things, to just give it time and try again later!
Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

Maybe it's just too early for your daughter. My advice would be to leave the crib on until she's older. Obviously she loves her crib and finds it safe. So why push her to a big girl bed if she isn't ready? Since you are trying for number two you are not pressed for time. Even when #2 is on the way/comes you will have plenty of time to get her settled into her big girl bed.

Maybe she just isn't ready for a toddler bed. Some kids feel more safe and secure in a crib and can stay there until they are three if there are no problems with climbing out etc. The security she felt in her crib is gone. If you don't want to go back to a crib, maybe she can pick out a special toy or a nightlight of some sort. My sister's kids still play their nightlight aquarium music thing each night. Take her to the toy store or somewhere where she can pick out a special pillow, blanket, or doll or something to comfort her at night. It might help.

She is telling you she is not ready for a bed even if you are. You are trying for number 2. That means you have several months before number 2 arrives. Listen to her and let her decide when she goes to the bigger bed. 2 1/2 is still very little. good luck.

i havent gone through this before, but i can tell you what my ideas are when my daughter gets to that age?
i would try to play in her room more during the day so her bed doesnt seem like such a strange and scary place. try sitting on her bed with her during the day and playing games, or even on the floor in her room so she can clearly see there is nothing underneath it, or hiding around it. if she gets used to seeing the bed and getting used to the idea that its not going to hurt her or bring things that will hurt her, i think maybe she'll come around.
let me know how you're doing??
hope i helped

It definitely sounds like she's not ready and why push it? If you aren't even pregnant yet you have at least 10 months before she needs to be out of the crib. I agree with most of the other posts who said to leave her in the crib until she's ready. No sense in getting everyone all worked up unnecessarily, there's just no advantage to creating stress in our already hectic lives right? I say put her back in the crib and ask her again in a few months. You've got plenty of time. Good luck!

D.,

I have 4 children and have done this transition several times. Here is my take: We transitioned my firstborn to a bed when he was a little over 2 years old. His sister arrived when he was 21 months old and it was time to move her from the bassinet to the crib. It as tough, he fought us in many of the same ways your daughter is. We ended up getting into terrible habits of coming to him multiple times before he would fall asleep, back patting, singing, all kinds of habits that were thought to break and made bedtime long and exhausting. In the end we put a gate up in the doorway of his room so he could not get out. He would sit at it and scream. We did all this because we thought "it was time" for him to move to a big boy bed. My 2nd child was nearly 3 when she transitioned to the bed. It was a piece of cake, she was ready, willing and made the transition easily. As did every child after that. In fact my 4th child decided on her own one day that she wanted to sleep in her sister's bed with her. I thought it was just for fun, it ended up being the end of her sleeping in the crib. She moved when she was ready.

I think the first child is always tough for these new transitions but I also found that if I let my children decide when they were ready to make the transition to a big bed it was surprisingly easy and painless. I also think children 3 and older make the transition easier (at least that has been my experience) It sounds like you are not yet pregnant, which means you have at last 10 months if not more before your new baby will need the crib. I would give your daughter some more time, try again in a couple of months, talk about it with her, play up to "big girl" aspect. I think you will find it to be a much easier transition and you will still have plenty of time to work out the kinks and for her to "detach" from her crib before baby number 2 arrives! Good luck

Put her back in the crib. Maybe a day, maybe a week, may even be a month , but she will tell you when she is ready.

try staying with her a little while but then leaving, add a night lite or favorite teddy. It is hard! I cannot let mine scream ethier.

I to stay home with my three, i love it. I also work at home. I do daycare but lost them all. I now work at home on my computer and love it. It is awesome being able to stay with them.

M.

www.WorkingGreenMoms.com

She may be afraid of falling out of the bed but unable to articulate this. My advice, try a 1/2 bed rail (one you may use on a"big girl bed"). It worked for my oldest...

I got a small cd player and play some music and books on tape for my child. So right after the stories are done i will ask what she wants to listen to and it seems to distract her, then i told her i would check on her in a bit anything to keep her they so she would just fall asleep in her bed and there was a week or so of being very firm that she needed to know that she needs to fall asleep in her bed. It is important that she has her own safe, private space so i felt alittle better knowing it was for her own good even though she acted as if i was torturing her. The music helped alot.

Hey there

we just went through the exact same thing with my 2 year old a few weeks ago. I wouldnt' normally have moved her so soon (her birthday was last week) but her 4 month old brother is rapidly outgrowing the basinette in our room and I need the crib for him. What we did seemed to work pretty well. We put the todder bed (low bed with a rail) right next to her crib so it was close to the same spot. She talked a lot about her special princess bed so that she was excited to sleep in it. When would go to leave her room initially she would be upset so me or my husband would sit quietly with our back to her for a while until she fell asleep. After doing that for a few days we moved to sitting outside her door in the hallway (i'd take a book). after 2 weeks we are able to leave her room and go downstairs and she stays in her bed. I think we just had to show her it was just like her crib and she needed to fall asleep on her own. It was easier for us to sit there for a while then to worry that she'd be crying or trying to get out. We still have the typical bed time battles (usually not wanting to put her pjs on or wanting another story etc) but once she is in her bed and we are going down stairs things are good. Last week we moved the bed away from the crib to its final spot and that went well. next step is to actually put the baby in the crib- for now we have been talking about how its a bed for babies and she seems ok with that.

good luck!