HELP ! Sleep Deprived with an Almost 3 Year Old

First, positive and wonderful thoughts and prayers are going out to you and your husband through such a hard time, and I truly hope he goes into remission soon.
I have a wonderful CD that my sister gave me called "Transitions: soothing music to help baby sleep". I have used it for both of my kids and it's like magic. You can find it easily on Amazon.com. It's very soothing sounds from the womb and makes them (and you) very drowsy! After reading several books on sleeping and taking the best ideas from them, here are a few suggestions I have found that work for me: Make sure you keep all stimulation (such as TV, video games, electronics, computer) off at least an hour before bedtime. Some snacks and drinks can be a little too stimulating later in the day so be very aware of food consumption. After bathtime, I try to keep things as calm as possible, and on nights when my son is just not quite ready for sleep I tell him he can lay in bed with lights on and look at all the books he wants. He can call me or ask me for ONE thing and one thing only, and I tell him I will check on him at a certain time and I do (and usually find him asleep). We also put in special night lights that play a pattern on the ceiling and I go in and turn them off after he is asleep. The biggest thing is the Transitions CD that plays EVERY night at bedtime. It's almost like he is programmed to go to sleep when he hears it. My daughter sleeps with it on repeat and has been sleeping through the night 10-11 hours every night since she was 6 months old. (she's 1 yr today!) Maybe you can try telling him that he must stay in his bed, but he can look at books or play quietly and you will check on him every 10 minutes (twice) then it will be lights out and time to rest his body. I really do recommend the Transitions CD though, it's worked for everyone I know who has used it! And believe it or not, he may be so tired at 8:30 that he goes into "overdrive" so maybe try moving his bedtime an hour or half hour earlier. He may also just be looking for some extra one on one time with you. I wish you the best, and pray for your husbands health, Good Luck with everything!

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Hi R..
I hope it is ok that I don't have answers for the sleeping, but I wanted to ask about your husband's cancer.
Have you thought about alternative medicine? have you looked into Cancer Treatment of America? They incorporate allopathic and holistic medicine when treating cancer.
I have all kinds of info on alternative stuff if you are interested. i will add you to my prayers. Please email me if you need anything or just need a good listener or prayer warrior.
In Christ, W. from Indiana

1 mom found this helpful

I've suggested this to lots of moms out there on Mamasource, but look into the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. She also has several books for different age groups go to: http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/ and check out her website and books! Good luck!

Dear R., I am so sorry for your suffering sleep deprivation and your husband's fight with cancer. I will be praying for you and your family. Here are some tips to help with your 3yr. old.Research has shown television and videos/dvds or games are stimulating for children and should be turned off at least 4hours before bedtime, as well as excercise(or active play). Although fruit, juice, and children's vitamins are wonderful sources of minerals,vitamins and nutrients they should be given before noon, for their body to digest and process & to avoid the natural healthy sugars from stimulating your child. Caffeine also before noon to be processed.(adults too)in order for the body to truly rest at night.Avoid sugar and candy for the obvious affects before bedtime. try to limit their intake of beverages an hour before bedtime and make sure they use the bathroom right before laying down to sleep. a full bladder can disturb their sleep and awaken them. And last but not least research suggests taking a bath 4 hours before bedtime. I hope these help your 3 year old and you to have many good nights of sleep. sincerely, S.

Have you tried any of the bedtime bath wash that several companies have out like Johnson & Johnson? We have used that on several of our children, nieces, nephews and on it works
like a charm for us. Wouldn't hurt to give it a try.

B.

A little about me: Single mom with two great kids 21 yr old son and 16 yr. old daughter. I work fulltime as a paralegal and am an independent Avon sales rep and Unit Leader

Make a routine chart! I use a picture board for my 4 year old that he can see the routine for bed. Bath, pj, brush teeth, read story, go to bed. When your son gets out of bed tell him it is time to sleep and take him right back to bed-no detours. Continue doing this and he will get the message. Don't fight him and don't talk to him except it is time to sleep. A few nights of this and your son will start sleeping better and so will you. I bet he is over exhausted which makes it hard for them to sleep. My daughter was just like your son. I had to take all stimulii out of her room toys, most books, games, etc. She would get up and play with them! I also play soft lullaby music for all 3 of my kids that helps them fall alseep-I like Fisher Price Rainforest Lullaby. I put it on repeat play all night. I rarely have any of the kids get out of bed during the night!

Hello R., I am sorry I do not have an advice as our own 3 year old does not go to bed till 9:30 and we just lay down with him then. Have you thought that your son might be overtierd??? At 2 our son still took 2 1/2 our naps and went to bed at 8:30.Have you checked with the doctor, maybe he has a sleeping condition???Have you tried supper nanny aproach???
On another note, sounds like you have a lot going on....please let me know if you need any help(free), to watch the boys(we have 2 as well and looks like our youngest are the same age:)) if you need a break or something, or clean the house. Do you go to church?? There is a great one in Clayton :C3 church.Will be praying for a miracle for your husband.

Have you ever thought about just putting him to bed and not letting him get up??
My daughter is 2 and I was very passive about bed time till number 2 came. I learned...lol. Put him to be after your normal stuff. Book, bath whatever it is. Then that is it. If he gets up, put him back. Yes he will cry, yes you will get frustrated the first few nights, but in the end he will learn that it is bed time and that is that. Be stern, not mean, and very consitant. Stick to bed time no matter what until he gets it. Also, as another mom suggested he may be ready to ditch the nap, but do one at a time. Firt get the bed time thing down, then worry about nap.
Good luck
T.

he sounds overtired to me. why not try getting him to bed by 6:30 or 7:00pm at the latest? Not sure what time his nap is, but if it's early in the day, 8:30pm sounds way too late for him to still be awake.

Hey R.,
As a child psychologist I have always found great advice in the book" Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Dr, Farber. It is rich with many ideas and reasons why some children are having sleep issues.
T. H.

I just solved a similar problem with my 4 y/o daughter. Promised her a sticker every morning that she did not wake me up in the middle of the night, then on day 4, she earned a new care bear. Worked like a charm; and when there is a set back, we do the stickers again. Only 1 bear was needed.
Avoid chocolate, or anything that might be a stimulant in the evenings.
BTW, she will not sleep longer than 8-9 hrs at night...

Is it possible that your 3 year old feels like the only time he gets your undivided attention is during the late night hours? Since you run a daycare out of your home, he may feel like he has to share you too much during the day and this is the only time he gets one-on-one time with you (so he doesn't want it to end). My 3 year old daughter is in day care during the day b/c I work full time and we experienced this same issue. Once I was conscience of it, I made sure to spend at least one hour every evening only playing with her. We also keep a firm bedtime routine (dinner, play, bath, wind down activities like you are doing now - reading, singing, cuddling). Then firmly return them to bed each time they get up, until eventually they will get the picture. Consistency is key.

Hi,
My kids do not sleep either but go to bed earlier than midnight. Maybe you can try and get him to go in his room around 9 and say you can stay up but only in your room . At least it will give you alone time. Maybe he will fall asleep earlier. Maybe you may need to bring him to be evaluated to to make sure he is not hyperactive or you may be on of those unlucky parents with a kid who need less sleep than most. I definitely would set boundaries for him and let him know it is not ok for mommy to stay up so late. My kids sometimes are up when I go to sleep but I have gated everything off so they are confined to upstairs and can not go into certain rooms. They also do not have any stimulating toys in their rooms just books and dolls. My son reads a lot (3yo) or at least he thinks he is reading. They also are free to come into my bedroom if they need me but they usually don't unless they want to sleep with me. You may also want to get him in a program at school or a church so you can take a nap during the day until you feel comfortable with him staying up past your bedtime. Also get him up at 6:30 or 7 am so he will go down at 10 or so. I know that sounds early in the morning but you can adjust much easier to 7 am than 12am midnight. Finally, he may not need that nap. My daughter(2 yo) takes a 40 minute nap some days and it keeps her up at nite 1.5 hours past her normal bedtime. I love her nap but sometimes it is not worth my nighttime routine disruption. good luck I know lack of sleep really stinks.

Hi R., I agree with some of the others in keeping with the routine, however I would add that you might want to put him in bed and tell him "it's bedtime, you don't have to go to sleep, but you do have to stay in your bed" my kids always did better when they thought resting (sleeping) was their idea. I also agree with one of the previous posts that maybe you are waiting to long to get him down for bed and he has gotten over tired. (we are all guilty of this) even though his is tired it is harder for kids to go to sleep when they are that far beyond a little tiredness. try backing your bed time up 15 minutes each night until you find something that works (that is if you schedule can allow it - I know it's hard to fit everything in doing the day)does he have a favorite stuffed animal? my son likes to tell his bedtime stories until they "both" are tired while staying in his bed. good luck to you and your husband.

Hi, I have the same problem with my 4 year old, I asked for advice the other day and got so many great responses that are starting to help. Go ahead and take a look at my post called "Need help with the bedtime blues" check out all the responses there, you'll find some great advice from the other mommies on here.

Hope it helps

E.

He may not need the nap during the day anymore. Also, is he getting enough exercise to tire him out? And is he getting to bed before being overtired? I noticed that you mentioned sometimes using TV at night. I read that TV can actually have the opposite effect and get children wound up. Just something to think about.

I have a 3 yo as well, and I have found that on the days he does not get a nap, he goes to bed at a decent time & sleeps through the night. I know, though, that there will be a serious period of crankiness sometime during the day & you have to be willing to deal with that - some days I fight that battle, some days it's the battle at 11pm!!

Prayers to your husband as well. You sound like a wonderful mom with a great attitude!!

You may want to try cutting out the nap. That is what worked for us.

D..
http://www.BizForMomsOnline.com

Well, it could be that your son is just one of those people who doesn't need much sleep. I know an adult who only needs 5 hours of sleep a night - honestly! However, it could be an emotional issue. I suffered from terrible insomnia for years before finally getting healed, so this is an issue I have a lot of experience with. He may be anxious or fearful and possibly angry over his father's medical condition and not speaking about it - he might be afraid to speak about it - afraid to put any more of a "burden" on the family. IF that's the case, that is probably what's keeping him awake at night. See if you can get him to talk about the situation and see if you can draw out his feelings about it all. Creative outlets are also very helpful for this - like drawings or music - things like that. But getting him to the point where he feels "safe" expressing himself about this - or whatever might be bugging him - is crucial if that's what's going on with him. I am definitely adding my prayers to yours for your husbands complete healing. God bless you.

Dear R.,

Your son sounds like my daughter when she was that age. Chemicals in his diet can cause him to be very hyper. Check out www.feingold.org. Feingold is a 30yr old non-profit organization whose purpose is to inform the public of petroleum based ingredients (artificial colors, flavors and preservatives) in our diets that can cause numerous symptoms in our bodies. These chemicals can also contribute to cancer. I know this because my mother has had bone cancer for six years and I have researched every nutritional and alternative method of fighting cancer. If you are interested, you can go to www.herbdoc.com. My mother(age 79) did Dr. Schulze's colon, kidney, and liver cleanses and lowered the cancer numbers that the doctor checks every 3 months. Has your husband's doctor told him that sugar feeds cancer (don't eat sweets), that cancer hates oxygen (exercise as much as possible, breathing deeply) and that cancer likes an acidic body (eat foods like lemons, grapefruit, raw fruits & veggies that make the body alkaline). It really pays to learn about natural healing and nutrition when fighting disease. My prayers are with you and your husband.

L. B.

Make sure his naps are early, by noon or so. If they sleep much past 3pm they may not go to bed early. Also, he really may be ready to give up his nap. Some kids give them up by 2, try going a day or so without a nap and see if it helps. Don't plan anything in case he is cranky.