Help Regarding My 4 Year Old Kid

A 4 year old might not have developed the fine motor skills to color as well as the other kids. So he might refuse to do it at all. Just like walking and talking, kids learn to handle crayons, forks, pencils etc at different rates. It is important that he learn to follow instructions. Ask him to get things for you. And increase the number of instructions as he is able to understand. For example. Son get mommy a tissue please. Son go into the bathroom and get mommy a tissue. Son go in the bathroom under the sink and get mommy a tissue and also my hairbrush on the counter. He should be able to remember 2 or 3 things at a time. HOWEVER..one of my boys could never follow directions and I learned much later that he had ADD. He was never hyperactive so no one suspected until he was tested in 6th grade. One of my regrets. :(

Maybe he doesn't like coloring pages and wants to color his own thing. 4 is very young for a boy to be in class, sitting down writing letters and coloring. Not long ago, kids didn't start school until age 7 - boys esp. often don't read until age 7 - they are not slow in developing, it's just the way they work. Boys need to be jumping, running, climbing, banging, building.

Other things that will help him develop an attention span: a good bfast - egg, whole wheat toast (not white), oatmeal (not the kind in little one portions - loaded with sugar). Lay off the sugar and 'fruit juice' which is really food coloring and sugar. Give him water or milk or real oj. Cut out tv - definitely in the morning and preferably all the time - the 20 second blips don't help kids develop an attention span, even if it is educational. Read to him everyday. After a long run in the park, come home, get a snack (water and fresh fruit), then have him sit in your lap or next to you on the couch and read a book to him. Work up to 30 minutes. It's okay if 5 minutes is all he can do at first - it's having the long term goal in mind.

You can do it!

These days preschool is very demanding. Is it Montesori, or HeadStart, or just a private school? I agree with people who say that he may not be developmentally ready to follow multi-step instructions. It is not a failure or an indication of a disability after 6 months. You should not be afraid to hold him in preschool if he is not ready for kindergarten. It is better to give him exposure and let him develop his skills in a lower pressure environment than kindergarten where most schools are already worried about test scores. He may be creative, and want to add detail, which should actually be encouraged! It is worth your time to sit in the back of the class for a couple of days to watch the teacher and your son. Maybe the directions are too complex and he needs a reminder or simpler directions. That is developmentally appropriate at this age, not a sign of disability or defiance. Do continue to watch him over the next year to see if he improves and if he doesn't, consult your pediatrician.

I'm more concerned over how the teacher is teaching. What method is being use? Are you talking about kindergarten or preschool? If it's preschool, no big deal. If it's kindergarten, then you need to work with your son so they don't use it as an exuse to hold him back. Just from the little bit you've posted, I'd say you might have a creative child rather than immature. Creative children enjoy making things "their own" so they can say, "Look what I did today mommy!" They often march to the beat of a different drum and are misdiagonosed. They also get bored easily and start looking for ways to make mundane class work more interesting/challenging, which is why it appears as if they aren't following directions. Many times they are also slower, because they are detail oriented and want to get every detail in or make sure they are coloring between the lines. Sometimes kids will color slowly, because they are bored. They don't want to follow directions, because they already know how to do what is being asked and are ready to advance to the next step. They don't do it on purpose. The best thing you can do with them is to go over their work with them and explain why the teacher is marking it wrong. Explain to your son why it is important to do exactly what the teacher asks. I like the timer, but you might want to play along as a friendly mom/son competition. (Let him win lots to build self-confidence.) Also, don't be afraid to suppliment want he is learning in class. Get him a simple drawing book for him to show him how to draw, so he can express himself more through art. Ask him what he would like to draw, so he knows he has a place for his creative outlets. Drawing is an important step and will help with writing. Show him how to draw a simple truck and then have him write the word, "truck" underneath it. Have him draw a dog and put the name on it's tag.

hello! im going to take it back "old school"..lol your son is 4. 4 yrs old! put yourself in his shoes for a minute..4 yr olds like to play..and they like to test you:) he might be doing just that..testing you. he might just be defiant..not a problem..but a personality trait :O) a mind this young is simple..he might not be doing what he is told because he doesnt want to do as he is told! lol make a game out of it..get yourself a coloring book and get on that kitchen and color with him! its fun for both of you..and you both get family time out of it. that way he just thinks hes playing with you instead of actually learning something. praise him when he's done with his picture, and make a big production out of it. set a timer for 10 min..and say lets see if we can finish our pictures before this timer goes off..and color yours slowly..let him win:O) on another day, you color a picture, and ask him what colors you should use..that way he thinks hes telling YOU what to do..but he is really learning how to put a picture together..looking at things and deciding what hes going to do.
i have a 10 yr old that has fine motor discrepancy, she was diagnosed in the first grade, when its obvious. i also have a 20 yr old son, that when he was in kinder i was told he was adhd..whatever..i didnt listen..turns out that he just needed to learn how to control himself and focus..i helped him with that and now hes a junior at a university working on a double major:O)
sometimes you just need to let your kid be a kid.

I suggest that he is not yet mature enough to be asked to follow instructions in writing and coloring. Children mature at different rates. I urge you to allow him to be a free wheeling child for a while longer; A child who can choose to spend time doing what interests him.

He's 4. He's not ready for that sort of structure. Children at this age are motivate and learn best through play. Each child is different, but do not worry, he may not be ready for another year. IF you can, try not to push it...He may need a differen environment.

I agree with the not mature enough suggestion. it may also help if you set a timer to let him know it doesnt have to last long make it a game. it may work but if the not mature enough is right its not going to help much. and give him a sticker reward or something if he makes it to the timer no more than 15 min.

My son is also 4.5 and his fine motor skills have a long way to go. His pre-K class is just starting to practice letters and numbers. He never liked to color but loves play doh, blocks and Lego. The class also does lots of activities that practice the pincer grip for writing. My son is also still working on that and forgets to write with the pincer grip when tired or distracted. I also struggled a lot with learning to write in K and 1st grade (even though I liked to color).

Following directions is also not great. Sometimes he is a good helper and other times I just have to repeat things over and over. Your son doesn't sound that different from mine or his friends. Have you had a chance to observe at school, even for a short while? Is the teacher noticing things about your son that really stand out from his peers? He may grow into the skills somewhat.