Help Overcoming Fear of Using a Tampon

Seriously, don't push the issue with her. Let her skip swim club. There is no situation where she would absolutely need to use a tampon. It will only be a few days or a week at the most and if she is telling you she is afraid to use them, it means she isn't old enough to use them.

I would buy those OB tampons cause they are shorter and would be much easier for a first timer to use.

Try getting her the OB Brand. It was quite a bit less intimidating than the other for both my daughter and my niece.

I think the applicator is the "Scary" part.

I would suggest to have her try a menstrual cup, (one of the reusables not the disposable one) There are many different ones, I included some links below.

I found out about these about 10 years ago, and I will never go back to pads/tampons! These are so good they almost make you forget you are having a period, and they only have to be emptied at moring and bedtime (sitting on the toilet or int he shower, just pull out, dump the blood, rinse,a nd re-insert - wash with mild cleanser and water inbetween cycles - the silicones ones can be boiled to sterilize). Even for me on my heaviest days, and I have very heavy periods, I may have to empty 3 times in 24 hours on my worst day. I wish I had known about these as a teen starting my period at 10 years old....they don't go WAY up there like tampons ( which I could always "feel" no matter how well I inserted), and they are flexible, and I have only had two times of leaking in 10 years of use!! Since they "catch" and don't absorb the flow, they don't dry you out down there, so that way you don't have the horrible DRY feeling of trying to get in another tampon after taking out one!

You can find many trypes online, and most have two sizes, a smaller one for pre-childbirth and one for after or for those over 30 years old. These are safer (no TSS risk), more comfortable, and easier to use than tampons, and also better for the environment and cheaper over the long run - they pay for themselves in less than a years worth of use, compared to what you'd spend on pads/tampons, and you can use them for 10 years! Here is a page about the cups in general: http://sew-in-love.com/menstrual-cups.html and here are some different methods for folding to insert them http://community.livejournal.com/menstrual_cups/453392.ht...

Here are a few of the cups' sites:
http://www.divacup.com
http://www.keeper.com/
http://www.lunettecup.co.uk
http://www.miacup.co.za
http://www.mooncup.co.uk

I have owned 3 cups, my first was the original gum rubber "Keeper", it served me well for 4 years, then i heard about the medical grade silicone cups...I bought a Divacup, but i preferred my Keeper, and kept using it for 2 more years (the Divacup was too "Soft" and was more difficult to get it to "pop open" after folding it to insert). Then after my first pregnancy, I bought a Mooncup UK, and that is what I am still using now, 3 years later after my second baby.

Anyway, I hope you will let her try this, and maybe try one yourself, I SWEAR, it is the MOST COMFORTABLE AND CONVENIENT way to deal with a period that exists. Maybe you two to learn about these and try something new together, then she won't feel so "alone" since Mom is new to this product too!!!

Good Luck!

Jessie

I will be in the same boat soon. I keep waiting for my 11 yr old to get her period. She too is a swimmer. I have also bought slim tampons for her. I hope that you and your daughter have been able to have some good conversations about this. My only piece of advice is to try and think back to when you first used tampons and how you were feeling. She is probably feeling the same way. Try and keep the communication open and often. Good luck to you and your daughter.

Hi D.. You have gotten some great advice but I want to address the post that says that your period stops when you are in the water. It's an old wives tale that is totally false. You still have your period when you are in the water, whether immersed or just showering. Going in the pool without a tampon while having your period is extremely unsanitary!
Has your daughter read the instructions on the tampon box? That's how I learned to use them. My mom offered to show me but I nearly died of embarassment :) Just let her know the proper time to remove a tampon and not forget you have one in!

I agree with the posters who suggested the OB tampons without an applicator if they still make them. That was my first tampon and it was much easier and less intimidating than trying to figure out the applicator. Maybe she can skip swimming this time and you can talk to her, read the instructions, etc. and figure it out for the next time she gets her period. She is unlikely to be regular once a month at first so it could be a couple of months. 11 is pretty young and I remember being intimidated by tampons even at 15.

I got mine at 12 and I was a skater so I had no choice but to use them and I was scared to death of them. My mom gave me book to explain it, showed me the paperwork in the box and told me to take a box and figure it out. It wasn't easy but taking the stress of it away helped. I would explain to her that it's easier if she tries putting a foot up on the toilet or bathtub at first till she figures it out. Best of luck

Have her use pads until she's ready. When she is ready, have her put vaseline on the tampon to make it easier to slide in.

Since it is her first period, I do tend to agree with the woman who suggests that if it's too stressful, you just excuse her. But, in light of the fact that she DOES swim regularly, I would definitely prioritize getting used to a tampon (seems to me a pad would fall out? or not absorb?). I remember the second time I had to use a tampon (the first had been the previous month.). The second time was on a big camping trip with my family and a few other families and we were going to a water park. I tensed up and it was very painful. My mom had to help me; she used oil and anything else she could think of...it was horrible. I would explain the tampon and her body to her as much as possible, then leave her alone to figure out what works for her. It was very embarrassing to have my mom try to insert a tampon in a tent when I was 13!!!! I finally got it inserted in the bathroom, leg up on the toilet, on my own. That way, she can be at ease and comfortable next time her period comes around.

Oh, does your post ever bring back memories!!

I think showing her some educational photos/illustrations is the way to go. I would also give her a bigger handheld mirror so she can see what she is doing. Tell her to just relax and take some time to figure it all out. Remind her that in a few years, this will all be really funny to her!

As a practical matter, I would give her some KY or other lubricant. I remember practicing using tampons and getting really dry. If she is dry, it will hurt and she won't want to use them. I also think that plastic applicators are way easier to insert, but you might want to get her a couple different types to experiment with.

I have seen "tampons" that are actually natural sponges (like from the sea) that you use again and again. She might prefer those to conventional tampons. And besides tampons, there are a couple of menstrual "cups" on the market. You can leave them in a lot longer than a tampon. One brand I've seen at Target and they are disposable. Another brand is reusable and I see those more at co-ops and health food stores. Luna Pads is a Canadian company and they are a great resource for "alternative" menstrual products.

Hi D.! What a tough situation. I feel for you. I know exactly how she is feeling. I started my period when I was 10 years old and I was a competitive swimmer from 2nd grade until college. Okay this sounds crazy but I never used a tampon until I was almost a sophomore in High School. My mom was not the informative type on these things however she explained to me that your period doesn't 'go' for lack of better term while you are in the water. So as long as I was in the water my period ceased. (Notice how we don't menstrate while showering) I was always prepared after practice with a pad and clothes to change into. I would have to do this right away after practice rather than hang out for a bit with friends. If I was having a particular heavy period then I would skip practice or if I felt a sudden gush, I excused myself from practice and left. I did this for practice and for meets for 4 - 5 years. It wasn't until I started on a trip with a friend and she shared with me the proper way to put in a tampon. Thank goodness or else maybe I would still be wearing pads at 32. :) Of course once I learned I could relax a bit more during practice and meets and liked that it didn't feel like a diaper. I so feel her discomfort. It is hard starting at an early age. I was the first in my school and group of friends that I know of and didn't tell any of them for 2 years. You are welcome to email me if you have any other questions on how I did this. But I think since you are so comforting and open to talking about this with her and showing her then she will catch on much quicker than myself and maybe not be so fearful. Good Luck!

A. h

What about having her watch you insert one? I've already done this with my 7 year-old daughter (at her request).
We've already done the exploring with a mirror, opening a tampon, putting one in water, looking at pictures of anatomy, etc. (A 12 year-old, from a prev response, that does not even know that she has a "hole down there" indicates a complete lack of communication - talk with your girls!). My mom had never used a tampon and I struggled a bit with the instructions on the box, but managed.

There is no physical reason an 11 or 12 year-old can't wear a tampon. I would get the slim/lite kind. I use those myself - Playtex with plastic applicator.

I would read the sheet inside the box of tampons with her and show her the pictures. My mom never even mentioned periods to me growing up, so I learned everything on my own [and in school]. I bought my own box of tampons and read the "manual" and examined the pictures thoroughly before trying them. I was actually surprised to find out that the tampon just stays there and cannot "get lost" in my body. She might be reassured when she sees that the tampon is not going anywhere and she can take it out whenever she wants. It might also help to show her some [educational] websites that show pictures of the basic female anatomy...even pregnancy sites would be helpful because then she can finally understand exactly where babies come from

Just a few things- in our health class we were taught not to use tampons the first year of the period. I completely agree though with allowing and encouraging exploration. My only thought was that if you want her to use a lubricant make sure it's water based so it doesn't cause infection or upset PH balance.

I was really young when I got my first period. Tampons terrified me! When I was your daughters age, my mom tried to talk me into them, so I tried it. I was so freaked out that I fainted while trying to insert it! I really overreacted...I never felt comfortable using them..I started to when I was 18 nearly 9 years after my first cycle. To this day I rarely use them. I would just let her skip swimming until she feels ready to give tampons a try. Good Luck!

If she is that afraid do not push her to use them. Just excuse her from the swim club for this time . If it is her first period I would not stress her out more then she is already .

D.,

I didn't read through the other responses, so sorry if this is a duplicate.

When my friends and I were around your daughter's age, one of my girlfriends was afraid of using a tampon. Her mother demonstrated for her by inserting a tampon while her daugher was watching. My friends and I all thought that it was a weird thing to do (our mothers' were much more "modest"), but we all secretly wished our mothers would have done the same thing for us.

My kids are way too small for this conversation but I remember having probs when I was going through it. I wonder if taking the pressure off would help. I never wore a tampon until I was 16 since I couldn't figure out that it wasn't straight up..huh. Anyway, maybe you can make a joke of it and let her know that it's okay to try to figure it out. Women need to be more proud of our bodies instead we all seem clueless to our "intimate area". But, if she's still freaked you may just alienate her. I'm sorry this is such a sensitive topic but I think she needs to lead this.

I was talking to my neighbor about this the other day.

Her 12 yr daughter had swimming lessons and she was so upset, she was yelling at her mom from the bathroom, "I cant put this in, I don't even have a hole down there!" She walked her through it through the door, had her lay down on a towel on the floor, relax, used a mirror, find the hole with a finger, and used KY Jelly or vaseline on the plastic applicator to help her insert the tampon. I thought it was a funny conversation but I think she felt she had to tell me because she was not prepared for the situation with her daughter. Good luck!

D.,

I wish I could help you, but I myself didn't use tampons until I was like 20 or 21. I always used pads. I guess because that is what my mom used, so I did the samething. My daugher is 11 1/2, but I think (hoping) she will not get her period for a few years because she is so small for her age. When they talked about it in school they only talked about pads to the girls and they each got to bring home a pad and panty shield, no tampons.

I would suggest looking at the plastic applicator ones. I find them a bit easier than the cardboard applicators. They also have a "fully plastic bullet end" if that makes sense, so that the actual tampon is covered, making it easier to insert. Since the cardboard ones are open on the end, if things are "dry" down there, could make for hard insertion.

Swimming isn't THAT important. Let her sit it out. Please don't force the issue. Show her the "How-to" booklet that comes with the box (of tampons) and let her figure it out on her own terms.

Ok, might not be what you want to hear, but two "other things". The advise here is great and I will not repeat those. One, can she wear pads for swimming. They are not as noticable as young girls feel they are. You can wear them when swimming for short periods of time. My second advice is when she is not on her period, encourage her to go to her room in private and explore her body. Get very familiar with her anatomy. If she feels exactly where it is going as she is laying down, it helpd her when sitting down knowing where she needs to go with it. Also give her the tampon and let her release it in a sink of water. Just to see what it does inside of the body helps a little. In my opinion the cross-view illustration in the box is not very clear. A few fingers and a mirror will teach her far more. If we okayed girls to be more aware of their own bodies, it would make the teen years a bit easier. Many times the fear is pain and this fear tightens the vaginal muscles. If she realizes there is no pain, then the use will come easier. Explain to her (if she has her period, I sure hope she is awre of sex and childbirth) that if bigger things can fir there without pain then a little tampon will not hurt. Good luck and know it will come with practice. Do not let her try the insertion though if not on her period. I know of some moms who encourage this and that does scar the girls for a long time. The vagina is dry then and it can create pain. Oh, I totally agree that plastic is far better than cardboard BTW. Hope this helps a bit. (((HUGS))).

I remember I had the same fear-- a long time ago!! And I had a similar situation where there was a pool party. I was so upset... so my mom bought me the O.B. Tampons where you push the small tampon up yourself there is no applicator
(I know gross), but it made it easier, and they were very small so they didn't hurt too much. I am not sure if they still make those, but it maybe worth a try. I think the feeling of being in control helped me to overcome my fears. Good luck!! :)