Help on Uncomfortable Situation

Instead of thinking about what she needs or should do, think about what it's worth to you and pay that. I generally pay $10 an hour for childcare (what's the going rate in your area?) so would use that as a basis of what to pay. Round up her 20 minutes to 30 minutes to make it easier, and it's roughly $5 a day, 5 days a week, or $25. Add in a few extra bucks for gas, and your $30 sounds fair. If that doesn't give her enough money to live on, THAT"S NOT YOUR PROBLEM. Pay what's fair and what you can afford. Break it down to her like that, give her the option of doing it at that rate or not. You can certainly find someone else to do it, or make other arrangements with work or something.

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What can a person do with 30 bucks per week? You want her to save this time of day for you and your son, 5 days per week, keep a working car on the road, pay for gas and wear and tear, and all for a low price of 30 bucks per week? If I didn't have a job and someone made this offer to me, I'd tell them no and take an afternoon nap instead! LOL.

I'll be taking a little girl to school for not too much more than this next year. BUT, her little sister will still be in my daycare AND, I can run my errands while out. I know people hate paying for before and after care and transportation. But he's YOUR child. 30 bucks per week is practically a slap in the face.

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I thin k that this doesn't really have anything to do with her having a job, not having a job, complaining that she needs money, etc.
She wants what amount she wants. You don't mention that amount. If you don't want to pay that, get someone else.
Yes, it may actually "take" her 20 minutes per day but it does AFFECT her day by making it that she has to be there, home & available at that specific time of the day.
This: "She doesn't have a job, and she won't take anything. She could easily get a job at Walmart but doesn't. She is being picky about jobs and says she has no money for anything." is nobody's business but her own.
If she wants what you feel is too much...get someone else.

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She probably feels like $30 a week is so little, that it's not worth her time. I realize she would only be picking up your son and dropping him off at home, but you are also paying for her time. $6 a day is not worth her time, so I think you should pay her more - $50/week. When it comes to babysitting/caring for children, it's not always equal-to-equal, meaning you're not only paying for your child to be looked after, you are also paying for the sitter's time, so $50 per week is more fair. To make it even more worth her time, maybe she would reconsider staying with your son until you get home, bumping up her pay to $100/week. Maybe $100/wk. will be more worth her time.

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you offered her a job and she turned it down. end of story. I wouldn't waste energy thinking about how she makes money or what her motivations are to not work. Your offer was rejected based on compensation. You can renegotiate and offer more money if it's still something you want her to do. Or you can look for someone else that will do it for 30. You both have to do a cost/benefit analysis. Is it worth her time and gas to do it for 30? only she knows that. Is it worth more than 30 for you to have your son picked up? only you know the answer to that. if she doesnt want to do it, i would look for another solution. I don't want people to begrudgingly spend time with my kids. It's no fun for anyone.

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it's no one's buisness that she's being picky about her work. if you don't agree with the pay she wants simply tell her thanks but no thanks and put him back in a day care or heck, talk to a neighbor you know and see if he can ride the bus to their house (that's what my 7 year old does, i pay them money for snacks that she eats and that's about it a whole 10.00 if that a week.)

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Actually sounds to me like she doesn't WANT to do it but doesn't want to TELL you that and so she's giving you a crazy fee she knows you don't want to pay.

:)

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I don't blame her! Sure both you and she live close by, but you are asking her to basically plan all her daily activities around, and be responsible for, picking your son up at school each day. I say at least $50 a week that's $10 a day, and not at all unreasonable. If she wants more than that, then maybe you should make arrangements for him to go to the YMCA or some other place with after school programs.

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E.,
Sounds like you need to forget about this girl altogether. She is not dependable ,or so it appears and $30 a week sounds reasonable to me, You're not supposed to be footing her bills, just helping out. If she was truly that destitute she'd get a real job, doesn' t sound like her priorities are in order. Something is better than nothing in her situation and she's wanting to take advantage of you and your situation. Ask some of the other parents at the school where your son goes, I'd offer the $20-$30 dollars a week to help out with the gas and that should be sufficient and fair. Nothing wrong with wanting to help someone else in a tough situation but, don't allow yourself to be walked all over

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If you think $30 a week is reasonable for this woman to keep her schedule open for those 20 minutes 5-days a week, to walk your son home from school, then maybe you will have to find someone else to do the job. Otherwise, maybe you and this woman can bargain a more reasonable rate that you both can agree on.

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I think 30 is low. I would offer her at least 50-60 per week. If you can't do that, find a kid taxi company that you can rely on to pick up your child. She isn't being unreasonable-you are asking her to be available at this time every day-are you giving her gas money too or just the 30? What about some friends from school, could you set up an alternate schedule where you take another child to school for exchange of the other parent taking your child home? Hope you find something that works for you. But if you want to keep your girl-- pay her more!

M

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I know this will probably sound mean but I think she just does not want to do it. Sounds to me (but I could be wrong) that she is not that interested in working. If it were me I would take the money especially if I was not working and it did not take that long, and I did not have that far to go. She lives close to the school and close to the house. If I was like 20 min. or more away then it probably would be a problem. What else does she have to do? Can you afford to pay her more? or is this what you think the job is worth? I would stick with your original amount.

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If you can't reconcile a pay, then don't do it. Is she also a mom, so doing this daily will mess up her routine and that's why she wants more? In any case, she may get tired of doing it in a few months and you'll need to find someone else anyways.

There are a lot of people who 'taxi' kids from school for pay, as well as businesses. I would call around to see what a reasonable rate is.

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She doesn't feel that $30 a week is worth her time. If you think that it's not worth it to pay what she wants, then find other arrangements. Otherwise, you can pay what she wants or find a comfortable compromise for both of you. I have family that is in financially bad situations and complains about not having food or money for bills, but they seem picky about opportunities that we offer. Basically, they're not in as bad a situation as it appears. They are used to their situation and are comfortable enough but they like to complain. Don't worry about her situation and just focus on yours. Good luck!!

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Ellen, you didn't say how much more she wants. Also, her being picky and not wanting to take certain jobs or not having money for anything isn't and shouldn't be your concern.

You would be paying her for her gas and time. If you paid her just $30 a week, that's about how much it takes to fill up her tank depending on the vehicle she drives. She would not be getting anything out of that deal except to be a chauffeur and the eventual wear and tear of her car over time. If she wanted an extra $10-15 as a tip, a total of $40 for a week, I think that would be fair. If she asks more than that, then I think it is a take it or leave it type offer. How badly you need her to help you out, can afford it or have another option plays an important part in your decision as well. Good luck.

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i honestly don't think what we think matters. she wants to be paid more. so it's up to you if this is worth it or if you have another solution. 30 dollars a week, means 6 dollars a day for her to drop him off. do you give money for gas? so i'd say, ask her how much she wants and then decide if you can afford it or look elsewhere.

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Truthfully, figure out the mileage and then reimburse her accordingly. For example, I travel a lot for work and I am reimbursed .50 per mile. So... if she is traveling more than 60 miles per week, then adjust. Otherwise, $30 is more than enough considering the fact that you are essentially filling her tank weekly to shuttle your son in the afternoon.

Do you have another option? Does your son have a friend whose mother would be willing to drop him off on the way home? Ask around- you might be surprised by what people are willing to do to help-out or for a little gas $$.

My son (9 also) has to go home three days a week on his own. I bought taxi coupons, and he gets picked up at the school and dropped off at our home on the days he needs a ride by the taxi.

Because he is a child, I buy the coupons so he is not carrying cash...and the ride is only $1.75 because of his student status. I know in larger cities they have child services that only deliver kids to and from school...I would check into this as an option because it is the same service she provides...but the taxi company is safer, insured, and liable for any problems that may arise.

It works great...and my son has a cell phone to use only on these days where he calls when his afterschool stuff is done, and when he gets home...or for anything he needs...and nothing else.

Not sure if they have this in your area, but around here there is a service called KidKab which is basically a service to pick up your kid from school and bring them home. You might want to ask around in your area. Otherwise, contact the school and ask if they have a carpool system or list so that someone else's parents could bring him home. Usually you don't have to pay quite that much.

I'd forget about the girl. Number one, you don't agree on the price. Number two, she sounds likely to tire of this as well and leave you in a bind.

Does the private school have no bus service? Well it sounds like there may have been a good reason for her to be asked to leave..As far as Walmart she may have something she can't get hired by them on her record. Or as everyone else suggested if there is no buses try getting him a ride with another parent or see if yo can prepay a taxi cab service.. I think there's a special one for kids i forget the name

I agree with some other poster's...look for another solution. You say you arrive home shortly after he would. Can you possibly make other hour arrangements for your work, like going in earlier (assuming someone else is dropping him off and your schedule is not contingent on his morning hours), so you can leave early enough to just pick him up? Otherwise I would connect with the school. My daughter goes to a public, yet "like" a private school now...no busing provided at all...and at acceptance into the school (its an Arts High School....where there was a rigorous audition and acceptance procedure), we were asked if we wanted to be on the carpool listing. So we got a long list, set up by city name, of those interested in possible car pools. Or perhaps you have a similar approved class or grade list. Be pro-active and reach out to someone else?

Or, if you are trusting enough...find a high school kid with their drivers license, who is looking to make a little money to pick your child up and stay with them for that Little bit of time. Around here, high schools are out earlier than other public school age ranges, but still a little earlier than most private schools?

Good luck!

Can you find someone at the school to car pool with? Maybe you can drop off the kids in the morning, and they can take the kids home in the afternoon? Just a thought....sounds like your "friend" doesn't really want to do it, having to keep that time of her day open every day probably gets old. She probably wants to help you out, but just not every day. I would try to find someone to carpool with.

So you are talking about 2 hours per week plus the mileage of her vehicle (and the peace of mind knowing that she is reliable and your son makes it home safely).

I would do the math on the federal mileage rate (not sure what it currently is) and multiple it times the mileage for her to travel to the school, to you house, and back to her home. Then add some for her time. That should give you a good idea of what to pay.

So, she'd work 100 minutes per week & wants $30 dollars? That's roughly $20 / hour, plus she needs gas $. I think she's asking for a lot.

I understand your frustration with her not taking a job etc (though if she's not on public assistance, really only her issue). But it's really her choice. It works out to about $15/hour or more which seems good but maybe she feels it's just not worth interrupting her day for. It's only $6/day... And bottom line is what other choices do you have? If you can find someone else trustworthy etc for $30, then easy decision. If you can't, you must not be paying enough... Those "niche" positions can be hard to fill bc of the total pay versus the hourly pay issue.

Why don't you talk to other parents at the school who already pick their kids up and bring them home? Surely you could find someone who would be happy with just some gas money each week.
Also, even though your son's school doesn't have "aftercare", can't he go into the library or watch kids have their sports practices, etc until you get there? You said you get home not long after he does.
My son always had a ride home because he was in class with a neighbor right around the corner, but he often asked if he could stay after school to help a teacher with class pets, setting up displays in the auditorium or watching after school sports. There was always something going on after school.

Just a couple of ideas.
I'm not sure the person you have in mind sounds very reliable. I would try to figure something else out.

Best wishes.

Say it takes her 30 minutes a day to make the math easier. You are paying her an equivalent of $12/hour for her time. Would you do a job for $12/hour? Granted, the job is easy, but she does have to be there the same time everyday, rain or shine. I would ask her what salary (per hour) she feels is fair for a job for herself. Go from there. In the end, you have to decide if you have other options that will work for you, or if it is worth it to you to figure out something else. Don't take her for granted. Yes, you are doing her a favor in some senses by offering her this job. But, she is also doing at least as big a favor for you by doing it.

Yes, she's asking for a lot. She sounds pretty picky. Unfortunately, you can't make her want to do this job for less, or to be less picky. She's telling you what it's worth for her to do the job.

You could appeal to her sense of gratitude for the favor you did for her earlier, but she may not feel gratitude. You could simply offer her less, and she may go for it, but she may also shrug at some point and decide not to do it any more.

I hope you find a solution that works for you.

How old is your child? Is it even legal for him to be hope alone?
I would not do this because of liability. Plus, for I would have to change my entire schedule to do this.
Now IF you were in a bind because a sitter quit, your house burned down with the car in the garage, or something I would do it for free until you found a solution(I would give you a week at first, then maybe a second).