34 answers

Help on How I Can Get My Toddler up Early Enough to Get to Nursery School?!

Ok Mommies...I need some more help....this time on sleep/waking issues.

So, my 3 and 1/2 year old daughter is a little different from other toddlers. Her schedule very much matches that of her parents who are involved in the theater biz. She wakes at about 9 AM, naps from 3-5 (or sometimes 4-6), and goes to bed around midnite. NO GOOD for school time. By the way, you must understand that I am a stay at home mom (mostly) now and I'll take her to help from time to time with costumes and a few rehearsals upon show openings - so like 4 weeks worth of time a year. But, often, we are at home doing "regular" stuff...and she still won't change.

So, here comes nursery school which begins at 9 AM. We go Mon, Wed, Fri mornings. There are no afternoon sessions available (darn). I figure she needs to be awake by at least 7:45 so that she has enough time to wake up, eat, dress, watch a morning TV show, etc.

We tried this during the summer (summer school) and it hardly worked. I wouldn't be able to get her there most times until 10:30...she'd miss a lot and still be tired most times. It didn't give me all the time to run my errands without her, etc. And, forget about the thought of wasting some money since we have to pay for the whole session....etc.

I know she needs sleep....I just can't get her to go down earlier. Even when I cut out the nap as I have tried throughout the year here-and-there, it doesn't make a difference on the end of the nite time. She's just crabbier the whole evening. ARGH!

So...any thoughts? Friday is the first day of class and I'm already dreading it. I've even thought of taking her in her nightgown at 7:00 AM, putting her in the stroller and walking her thru the neighborhood to get her to wake with the sunshine...but that means I better get some sleep too.

And...if it has even crossed your mind...NO, I do not get any one-on-one time with my husband because she's up so darn late. Poor us. Next kid (if we have one) I SWEAR I'm training them much better in the sleep department!!

Thank you so much for reading my rant. Looking forward to anyone's magic :)

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

Children don't like to have their schedules messed with. Some people have this idea that they are just not morning people or visa versa, but really anyone can learn to live on any schedule, but with children it takes a lot of work and a couple of nights of real drama from the child.
Generally my kids have all liked to stay up with mommy and daddy and I have never agreed with the let them cry until they fall asleep people. I like a little bit of both worlds. I let my kids stay up almost as late as I do (because I don't stay up late, I have to get up early because my husband goes to work very early and I like to spend some time with him in the morning). I would recommend that you put her to bed early, let her cry, let her fight, just tell her it is time to sleep. Come in and sit with her or sing to her, but make her stay in bed. Then start waking her up a little earlier. Move her bed time earlier and her wake up earlier every couple of days until it is where you need it. Eventually she will choose to get the sleep that she needs. I hope that helps. Good luck.

3 moms found this helpful

I agree with slowly changing her bedtime by 15 minutes until you reach 730/8. Also, let her nap but start it around 1 and don't let her sleep past 3. A great book is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I highly recommend it. I have almost 3 year old twins and 10 month old. I have had great success with that book.

2 moms found this helpful

Changing a child's sleep pattern is a process. You need to start putting her to bed 10-15 minutes earlier each night and then wake her up earlier each day. Same thing with the naps. She will probably be tired for the first couple of weeks but eventually she will get there.

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

You have gotten a lot of good advice, I wanted to add one tip that has worked well for our family who also finds our natural rhythm, at the times we don't have to wake up, to very easily and quickly go back to a 10 a.m. up 10 p.m. asleep pattern. My kids, 10 and 6, would rather sleep in or have a quiet morning and do something in the late afternoon and evening. This is fine for me, as it is my natural rhythm too. All Summer we return to this nice pattern during Camp Mom and we are setting our own schedule. Now that we have to return to a school schedule we have been training ourselves by going to bed a little earlier each day and reminding our bodies what we have to do. It's still not easy, because it does not feel natural but we do it.

So my addition to this advice is Hylands Homeopathic Chamomilla Tablets and/or the Calms Forte for Kids Tablets (both made with Chamomile a flower known to help get people to relax). They are doctor approved, natural remedies that can be bought at any health food store, I've gotten them at Whole Foods and even found them at a Target once. They help take the edge off and helps my kids relax just enough to allow them not to fight the sleep and helps them fall asleep. We also use them when my kids get really upset and can't get themselves calmed down. You take the dose as appropriate (usually 2-3 pills) and tap them from the bottle into the cap and then toss them into the child's mouth under their tongue. They dissolve immediately with the moisture in the mouth so no water is needed and under the tongue gets into the system the fastest. I take them too when needed and they are made in a small sugar and lactose base so it tastes sweet for the moment as it is dissolving. You are not supposed to touch the pills with your hands as the oils on your fingers changes the chemistry. We only use them when they are struggling with falling asleep and we deem it necessary and the kids really appreciate the extra help in relaxing. We also use a cup of Chamomile Tea or a Cup of Warm Milk before bed time. These are things our Grandmas used to do because there was wisdom in them.

Good luck, know you are not alone, and keep trying new things until you find what works for you and your family.

3 moms found this helpful

J. V
Your daughter sounds like mine, and you sound like me. My daughter won't go to sleep til I do, whatever that time is, so this Fall (started this week, I decided to change my own schedule, so she'll go to bed earlier. o, we got down to 9 pm (which is extremely hard for me,I'm a night owl) but i had to commit to something for her sake. (I'm aiming for 8:30 pm). We're getting to school late every time - and her school starts at 8:30 am. She's 3, attends school 3 times/wk, and now i wake her up between 7 and 7:30 am. What i did was i started going down every week a 1/2 hour, but it's not really a science, i'm not very good at a strict schedule, I confess. She naps about an hour a day, if I think she needs it, i let her sleep another hour. At night we go to her bed together, read a couple of books, turn out the lights, and i stay w/ her til she falls asleep - truth is, i benefited from getting a little extra sleep myself as sometimes i cannot get up!
Now my friend on the same boat as ours,found a school that starts at 12 pm! Lucky her!
One more thing: on nights that my daughter is absolutely wired, 1 mg of melatonin is helpful, and yes, i checked w/ her doctor! (I use GNC Melatonin 1, cherry flavor) - and I take 5 mg for myself! (take it 20 min before bedtime, it helps relax)
Sounds like she really enjoys spending time with mommy, and there's nothing to be guilty about that!
Good luck!
TW

3 moms found this helpful

Kids actually adjust very well if you stick to the same routine everyday, even on the weekends. Start with a plan, write it down and then stick to it like glue. The first thing you need to do is get her up in the morning and put her in the bath or shower with you. Don't let her sit and watch a morning TV show, at least not right away. She needs to wake up her little body. Forget the milk, give her apple juice instead. Taking her out for a morning walk is a great idea, but not in the stroller. Make her walk with you. It doesn't have to be a power walk, even if you only make it four houses down, the fresh air will do her good. Have some breakfast and then take her to school. On Tuesdays and Thursdays take her to the park or some other activity that will wear her out. Go home, have a filling lunch then get ready for a nap.

The next step is adjusting her nap time. Her nap needs to be over by 3pm. That means she needs to go down by 1 or 2, then you need to wake her up by 3. After her nap is when I'd go run errands, etc. While you prepare dinner she can watch TV and mellow out. Serve dinner and then take her outside for more playtime. Try to have her out for at least 20 minutes. Even is she is crabby, no more TV after 6pm. Because she's so used to being up late, I'd aim for a 9pm bed time, gradually moving it up to 8.

Yes, Mom, this means that you also need to get to bed earlier. Put yourself to bed by 11pm.

Baby is crying, got to run....
~N.

3 moms found this helpful

Just wake her up, take her clothes off and sit her in a chair for breakfast. if she keeps getting up at 7 she will take a nap at 1-3 and bed at 8. just do it. No, it wont be easy. I would probably be insane if my kids kept my hours. By the way, why does she need to watch TV?

3 moms found this helpful

Children don't like to have their schedules messed with. Some people have this idea that they are just not morning people or visa versa, but really anyone can learn to live on any schedule, but with children it takes a lot of work and a couple of nights of real drama from the child.
Generally my kids have all liked to stay up with mommy and daddy and I have never agreed with the let them cry until they fall asleep people. I like a little bit of both worlds. I let my kids stay up almost as late as I do (because I don't stay up late, I have to get up early because my husband goes to work very early and I like to spend some time with him in the morning). I would recommend that you put her to bed early, let her cry, let her fight, just tell her it is time to sleep. Come in and sit with her or sing to her, but make her stay in bed. Then start waking her up a little earlier. Move her bed time earlier and her wake up earlier every couple of days until it is where you need it. Eventually she will choose to get the sleep that she needs. I hope that helps. Good luck.

3 moms found this helpful

I would take her to the park in the mornings (right after breakfast) so she could really play and tire herself out... THEN immediately after lunch... get her down for a nap. A 3-4pm nap is a huge part of the problem... it's too damn late. That late nap needs to end.

Or encourage her to miss it.... so she is tired by 7:30 (perfect sleep time) and will go down then.

Now whether she stays down the night will be the issue....

Good luck...

2 moms found this helpful

OMG! You were me a year ago. Except my daughter was on my schedule. She woke up around 11am and didn't go to sleep until 1 am. AND stop napping at 18 months! This was due to the fact that I never wanted to wake up early, so I trained her to my schedule, which became hers until she started school. Kids need a schedule, and a schedule is a schedule no matter if it is 11am to 1am or 7:30 am to 8:30pm. So do not feel bad that she conformed to you as opposed to you conforming to what society would feel as apporpriate bed times.

OK, so I feel for you because when my daughter started school a year ago she went in full time from 8:30am to 2:30pm everyday. I know you are recieving this after you needed, but friday is really just to get the kids a taste of what they are going to do. So my suggestion is to wake up 1 hour (or an hour and a half if you think she needs more time to wake up) before you need to leave for school. Do all of the normal wake up rituals. watching a show, eating b-fast, getting dressed, etc. then take her to school. When you pick her up go to a park/play ground and bring a book and let her play for hours. Kids will usually choose to play over taking a nap hands down. Go out to eat. Mc D's (I know unhealthy) or a diner with healthier selections. If you take her home for dinner she may become relaxed and want to go down for a nap. Then around 7:30ish start the bed time rituals. Then put her to sleep. Continue this even on her days off and in about a week she will have it down. [Treat it like jet lag. Every time we go to France, via a redeye, she is up with the birds even though they are 9 hours ahead of us. I am sacked out sleeping and she is making breakfast with her grandparents even though she had only 4 hours of sleep!!!]

Good Luck

2 moms found this helpful

J.,

The best advice I've seen is when you want to drastically change a bedtime, do it in 15 minute increments. Put her down 15 minutes earlier. Do that for a few days and then put her down 15 minutes earlier, etc... Do that until you've got her going to bed at an hour that works for you. It takes a while but lacks the drama that goes with trying to make a 3 hour shift in bedtime in one day. If you need to go faster, do it in 20 minute blocks.

:-)T.

2 moms found this helpful

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