Help - My Toddler Won't Stop Hitting!

Updated on December 27, 2012
A.N. asks from Carrollton, TX
7 answers

My little 2.5 year old boy is not pleasant at all right now. He hits constantly. And sometimes the wacks are so physically painful. He's a strong little guy!

I never had any real issues with this with my daughter and I know all kids are different but I have not experience to draw from.

Who is dealing with this or has dealt with it and has suggestions or a good book for disciplining toddlers? I don't want my kid to be the hitter. So far no issues at school have been reported, but I am afraid that will be next. HELP!

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M.F.

answers from Phoenix on

Firmly tell him NO HITTING and put him in time-out each and every time he hits. Tell him he's in time-out for hitting and hitting is not allowed. When he's done with his 2 minutes in time-out, have him tell you why he was in time-out and make him say sorry. No big long explanations, no discussions about how it hurts to hit, just a firm refusal to allow that behavior. You don't need a book, just consistent discipline.

4 moms found this helpful
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S.R.

answers from Lincoln on

we went through this with my son too when he was that age. and biting .... it was a nightmare. fortunately they grow out of it. you just have to have a lot of positive reinforcement. i redirect when i see he is about to hit by saying "no hit" "nice touch" and show him a nice touch. or if he was succesfull with a hit i would say "ouch, that hurts me, please dont hit" and then again redirect with "nice touch only please"...
Its a phase... I feel your pain. I had two girls before i had my son who were so sweet and innocent.... so gentle and so calm.. then when my son came.... holy toledo!! turned our world upside down! LOL

2 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

He wants your attention.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

the easiest way to deal with this is to prevent the action. & yes, toddlers know & understand the concept of hitting/hurting others. Smaller, younger toddlers....no, but at 2.5yo, yes he understands his actions.

Since this is a current issue for your son, try to be more proactive with him. Watch for escalation of his behavior, watch for that crossing the floor to you...& prevent the hitting action. Use your words to make him realize you understand the situation, but do not accept hitting (or anger) as a means to deal with whatever's going on. In other words, nip it in the bud!

I am not a fan of isolating by placing the child in his room. For my daycare, timeout is always within speaking distance of me, so I can easily enforce sitting still & being quiet. When the child is finally calm, then we discuss the action. I request an apology/hug before rejoining our group. & occasionally we have a group discussion over the event so everyone understands the process.

& here's the deal: with my own kids, I spanked when necessary. My older son was a trial for us, my younger son rarely needed correction. With my daycare, I've learned to use my words only....& we're all much happier for it. 20 years ago, I would have never believed you could achieve discipline through words only.....but it is true. It works.

& my go-to discipline method is "1-2-3 Magic"....it's amazingly effective! Watch the video, read the book.....

1 mom found this helpful
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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

A 2.5 yr old doesn't understand that when he touches you ---- you feel it also. He also doesn't have a lot of fine muscle control. He is not hitting to hurt anyone but has found that he gets attention when does this.

When he swings his arm as though he is about to hit -- hold his hand firmly and say NO firmly. Tell him 'nice touches' and show him how to tap or just lay his hand on your arm. Continue with saying no until he gets it.

You also must understand he has little concept of language. He probably does not know what the word hitting means. So you have to use an action (grabbing his hand) when you give a verbal command.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

Normal. Immediately pick him up and put him in his room. Just say "we don't hit." If he throws a big tantrum, hold the door closed until he is calm and has a normal voice.

1 mom found this helpful

S.L.

answers from Kansas City on

When he hits you say 'You don't hit because that hurts and is not nice. ' Then take his hand he hit with and have him pat you or whoever nicely. Then send him to his room. I'd try the pat first and have him say he's sorry. They can and will do this if you do it every time he hits. If he does it again he's in his room. Or have him sit on a chair where you can be sure he sits. Boys are just more into hitting and then punching, etc.

1 mom found this helpful
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