11 answers

HELP! My Mother-in-law Wants Me to Fly My Kids to See Her!!!

I live in Indianapolis and my mother-in-law moved to Florida a few years ago (AFTER my kids were born). She keeps calling my husband and asking if we will allow our 5 and 7 year old sons to fly to Florida and stay with her for a week or so. She says she will pay for the tickets, a flight attendant will watch them during the flight and she will pick them up at the gates in Florida. I just don't like the idea!!

Am I wrong for saying NO?

She chose to move away from her grandkids. That is not my fault! During my pregnancy she kept telling me how she wasn't going to be like her mom and move away from her grandkids and that is exactly what she did. Now she expects me to allow them to fly alone to see her! NO WAY! I'm scared to fly myself! There are so many things that could happen and I'd never forgive myself or her or my husband if anything happened to them as a result of them going. They are just extremely too young to go that far away for so long alone! I just love my kids and will not risk possibly putting them in any danger for her enjoyment. She can come here and stay with us anytime she wants to see them!

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

I again told her NO! I was starting to feel like I was in the wrong for saying no each time she asks but after all the replies I feel completely comfortable standing up for what I believe. So much could happen and I'd feel guilty forever if it did. We told her she is more than welcome to come stay with us anytime she wants to see them and we'd never keep them from her we are just not going to let them fly alone. She took it well AGAIN but I know she will continue to ask like she always does.
Thanks for all the replies!! You are all great!!

Featured Answers

I have a 6 year old boy and a 2 year old. There is not a way in he** that I would allow that to happen even it they were flying to Chicago!! She is being very generous about paying for it all but she is not using commom sense- they are too young to do that by themselves! See if she will compromise!

More Answers

I wouldn't let them go either! They may decide after a few days that they don't want to be down there anymore, but not know how to call you or they may not want to speak up, afraid they might hurt grandma's feelings.

If I were you, I would try to plan a trip for all of you to get down there for a visit. And reassure your mother-in-law that she is always welcome to come up here & visit.

My mother lives in Sacremento CA, and of course we are here in Indianapolis (her three children and two grandchildren, 5yrs and 3yrs). She comes here usually for about three weeks twice a year. We always have the option of flying over (we would have to pay for tickets because living in Cali is pretty expensive), but she would never ask me to send the boys on their own. I think it's a very tall favor to ask of someone. You are not wrong at all, stick by your guns, have HER come see THEM!

Those are your babies, not hers. I don't think your wrong at all for saying no..I feel the same about flying since 911. I was nervous before it & haven't flown since. And I would not take any chances. It is easier for her to come to you guys. She should respect your decision. Good Luck!

I have a 6 year old boy and a 2 year old. There is not a way in he** that I would allow that to happen even it they were flying to Chicago!! She is being very generous about paying for it all but she is not using commom sense- they are too young to do that by themselves! See if she will compromise!

You have a MIL in Flordia too? and Wants the grandkids to be sent to her too? I am in the same boat too.... My MIL wants me to Send my almost 3 year old daughter by herself to Flordia and she pay for the ticket too. But they only live there 6 months of the year there. Our Cold weather she is there (Indianapolis) and 6 months here durning our Summer.
Do you just love that?
Is she nuts? let your kids and My kid fly by themselves there. And let a freaking stranger watch them?

Hi H.,

Just tell your mother-in-law that you do not feel comfortable with the idea to let your kids traveling by themselves. Let her know that she is welcome to visit her grand kids whenever she wants, and probably when they are older they may be visit them by themselves.
I wouldn't let my kids traveling alone without me or my husband, they are just too little and many things to take care of with them.

You should not think about calamities either and what terrible could be traveling. It is a nice and interesting experience!! I just do not think about bad things otherwise, I would be nuts...

Again just relax, and do whatever you feel comfortable with. Just say no, they are YOUR children.


If it's alone-time with grandma she wants, then suggest that she fly up here and stay with them for the week while you and hubby take a vacation!

Hello.....Well I personally have been fling alone to Florida since I was 5 years old and I am over 30 now....I also have 3 step kids that live in Arizona that fly alone 2 times a year. (ages 5,9,10) They have been fling for about 3 years now and my son's father lives in Washington state and has flew for the past 3 years alone. Yes I will not lie it is scary as all heck to put your child on anything if they are alone but they end up loving it!!! The first time my son flew alone he got kinda scared on his transfer and the flight attendent gave him her cell phone to call me...They really take care of them!!! Just some advise on the airlines....Delta is alittle more expensive but I personally think they are the best. Look at it in a different picture...You will get some well needed time alone.
Good Luck!!

my kids don't fly but I have seen it many times. Friends of mine growing up used to do it too. I think it's very safe but if you aren't comfortable with it now then that is ok!! I must tell you that my mom takes 3 of our 4 kids in NY during the summer for a couple of weeks and it's like heaven to me. Hubby and I can catch up a little and we can finish some of the things in the freezer that there are only two of. So maybe when they get a little older you may want to consider it. Sure, I miss them when they are gone but we talk on the phone every day and they are back before I know it. Just a little food for thought. Good luck!

I tend to agree with you. I wouldn't let my young kids fly without me. Perhaps a suggestion you could make is if she would be willing to purchase a ticket for you/your husband to fly them down and then fly back after a week to get them. That way they always have a parent with them. I know if would be quite a bit of extra cost, but might be a good compromise?

Plain and simple... they are your children and you are not obligated to do as she wishes with your own children. Perhaps you might feel up to meeting half way driving or something, but as their mother, this decision is yours. Don't feel guilty if it doesn't please everybody else. They are very young too, to take their first flight without an adult or someone to ease their fears - have they any.

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