21 answers

Help! My Husband Hates His Job.

My husband is so miserable right now b/c of his job. He is in management at a brokerage firm. The way the company is ran is pretty much a joke, he feels like he has to babysit kids (his employees) all day long, he's cleaning up messes all day long that could have been prevented if upper management listened to the managers below them, he gets no inner fulfillment there, there's a ton more issues there. Some days he feels like putting in his two week notice and I don't blame him. I worked there for 10 years before becoming a SAHM last year (we met at work) so I completely understand how he is feeling. He's been depressed over this lately. He's been getting headaches every work day. The job market is not too great where we live (or anywhere that I know of) and he doesn't have a degree so he feels pressure to stay there. Has anyone ever had to deal with this? What did you do to find your happiness again? We would be ok if he took a lower paying job. I am willing to give anything up (material wise, not my kids :) ) to make him happy again. He's trying to just suck it up and deal with it but I fear he's going to have a nervous breakdown! Does anyone have any suggestions?

I just wanted to add I have told him I would not be upset if he quits, we'll figure it out. We have enough money saved up to live off of for a few months but he worries he would not be able to find a job in that time frame. He's just scared since we have three kids we have to provide for.

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

I think ultimately it's a decision you have to make together.

There's no harm in looking around though. Does he know a head hunter?

I agree with you, no amount of money could make me accept the fact that my husband was miserable. and it could make him physically sick if he keeps up.

Maybe tell him what you think, that you'd be willing to make sacrifices for his happiness at work. Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful

Well one thing hubby could do is go back to school. Evenings & internet schools are available to everyone. He just needs to make a decision on what he wants to do. No, jobs aren't any easier to get with a degree than without; but he might be able to move to a different job with the same pay. Plus if upper management sees he is trying to better himself, they might listen to his suggestions. Also, if work is making him feel bad; he should consider a change.

I went back to school in my late 30's & got my administrative assistants degree at a business college. No, I did not get a job as an administrative assistant; but I did get a very nice job as a secretary with the State of Indiana. Have been here for over 18 years now.

Hopefully I have given you & hubby something to think about. By the way, I was just this side of flunking out of high school & when I went back to college, I was on the Dean's five of the six quarters I was there! That's how determined I was to change my life. Is he? Good Luck!

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

hello
having worked for years in the brokerage biz, I can definitely relate.. much of it is a like a rat race.. that being said.. I learned the hard way that your time and moreover, your health is NEVER worth the money.. my advice.. have him get is resume together NOW while he has a job and begin looking for a new one. Additionally, maybe take a break from mgt and see if other aspects of finance appeal to him. It can be a tough market, however, I do believe the brokerage AND banking industry will hang in there. They have headhunters who specialize in mgt types . I highly recommend that he go and see one. The good thing about the brokerage industry is that many people do move around. it's not uncommon for those in finance to have worked for many different firms.
Again, many headhunters out there.. have him make an appointment. Often companies will use an agency to hire their employees as oppose to doing it the old fashion way.
Best of luck to you..

4 moms found this helpful

Tell him to find a headhunter and have them help him find work in his areas of expertise. The benefit of a headhunter is, if they're reputible, they will be discrete as they shop his resume around.

In this economy, I'm with your husband, don't just quit...have a new job lined up before giving notice. Many folks in the brokerage biz easily transfer to insurance (carry many similar licenses), banking, and financial planning. If he hasn't already started expanding his field for searching, he should check these areas as well.

Depending on how well he is networked or what his specialties are, he could go into consulting or on his own as well. A lot more risky in this climate, but it is an option.

Working with a headhunter isn't going to take away the uncertainty, but psychologically it might be helpful for him knowing that he is actively working on making a change.

3 moms found this helpful

Your husband should not quit his current job until he finds a replacement. It's too hard to explain with the necessary positive spin to a prospective employer why you left your last job without a replacement position. Your husband should channel his energy into focusing on what job he wants and working towards that goal. The simplest route is for your husband to contact a headhunting firm since they will do the legwork, filter out the nonsense, liason between the prospects and your hubby, and help coach him on whatever needs coaching (interview skills, current employer expectations, etc). The end result is he'll be actively working towards his goal - a satisfying job - without having to divert time/energy away from his current job. As for the economy I recently changed jobs using a headhunter and it can be done. It just takes a bit longer.

2 moms found this helpful

I had a job I hated for 22 of the 23 years I was there. I stayed there to provide for my family. I made the sacrifices I had to to support my family which was most important to me. I finally lost my job due to "down sizing". They had too many white males so the white males lost their jobs first, regardless of senority.

Finding a new job tough thing to do. I hope he finds a way out. I never did.

Good luck to you and your job hunt.

2 moms found this helpful

There's no law against looking for another job while you're working, this might be best for him. He can send out his resume now while he's still making a pay check. Also, I would hope his lack of paper degree wouldn't over shadow the fact that he's obviously educated and capable of being in a manager's position elsewhere. If a company fusses about that, I don't think you want him to be working there. Would you be alright with relocation? It might come to that. Ask him what he thinks.

Good luck.

2 moms found this helpful

Have him check with headhunters/financial services placement firms (Robert Half? is one, I think). I'm in search mode myself, and while I'm still looking, these types of firms are saying that opportunities are increasing. It may take a while, but if he can accept that while looking, it might help him. If he belongs to any associations or business networking groups, maybe he can use that resource. He should let his friends know, at least the ones that don't connect to his workplace. You never know where an opportunity can turn up.

2 moms found this helpful

My husband went through something similar a few years back. I encouraged him to look for another job, but begged him to keep his patience and current job until a new one was lined up. We were expecting in 2m and could not afford for him to not have a paycheck. Then I prayed!!!

In a short time he was able to land an interview and job at lower pay. He was happier, had more time at home. It was hard adjusting to the lower paycheck, but we were making it work.

Help him refresh his resume, take some refresher courses, and even get some type of degree. Many courses will let you put work experience in place of classtime.

2 moms found this helpful

I think ultimately it's a decision you have to make together.

There's no harm in looking around though. Does he know a head hunter?

I agree with you, no amount of money could make me accept the fact that my husband was miserable. and it could make him physically sick if he keeps up.

Maybe tell him what you think, that you'd be willing to make sacrifices for his happiness at work. Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful

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