Help! My Five Year Old Boy Is Driving Me Crazy!

First of all, please know that i am not finding joy in your misery, but i am happy to know that i am not the only one that is going through this, my oldest is 5, and the next is 5 mo, my son gives me the blues, especially when i am nursing the baby. He was never breastfed, now at age 5, he wants breastmilk. I even thoght that it would teach him a lesson if i let him taste it after i pumped, but he drank it all, and asked for more. He bothers the baby all the time, he now talks like a baby. He cant do anything anymore by himself, he doesn't even try. All that being said, my friend who has 3 kids, says that it is good to spend one on one time with each child. I know that my son is just looking for attention, but its hard to cater with everybody. so us new moms have to stick together, if you can find a babysitter for the little one, take the olderone somewhere he likes, ill do the same. Then we will let each other know how it went.

Good luck, please let me know if you find a solution, i am in need for one too.

1 mom found this helpful

I have found that food dye, esp Red #40 and Yellow 5 and 6 cause erratic and aggressive behavior in my 5-yr old. I have heard of other substances wreaking havoc on children's behavior. I know you are very busy, but if you could for a day or two make a note of what he eats and how soon after that the strange behavior occurs. I am having my psychoneurological testing done on my son. Have you heard of Pervasive Developmental Disorder? Some children exhibit different levels of strange symptoms that are attributed to this. The good news is that they can be treated by a pediatric occupational therapist and simple environmental and dietary changes can bring dramatic results. Check with your pediatrician (who may not be familiar with this, if not check with another one until you find help.)

Please know that you are not alone!

You might try looking at the book "Strong Willed Child" by Dr. James Dobson.

Maybe you should get him a puppy or something. Something for him to take care of while you are taking care of your little one. Also, he will focus his attention on the puppy and not on mischief. It will teach him to be loving and responsible. Hopefully. It will take time to get him to be gentle but once he gets the hang of it. He will have a nice friend to keep him company.

Just an Idea, Good luck

Hey M., I think your son is just acting out. This happens almost everytime there is a new baby- even though your baby is 8 months. Kids do this ALL THE TIME!! They see the baby getting attention and want to "be like the baby" I have a 3yr old who did similar things. Just be consistant and stick to your rules. Use time out and rewards. It will get better, promise!! Good luck and let me know how things turn out!-C.

If he really is acting out because he wants to be "babied," how about taking away the things he has as a "big boy?" No trike or bike. No candy or gum. No crayons. Whatever you can think of that will hit home with him.

He's starting to outgrow the naptime thing. Try putting him to bed a little earlier if he's tired in the evening. As far as cleaning his room, set a time limit (we use the microwave) or try making a game of it: "Go pick up three blue things!" Or bag up all his stuff and put it away.

You know, if he's able to get into all the stuff you've mentioned, you might want to try "staking" him. Wherever you go, whatever you do, he has to be right there with you, maybe with a toy or two. Talk to him about what you're doing, talk to him about how big he is and how you want him to grow up to be a strong, smart man, tell him that since you can't trust him he has to stay right by you ALL DAY. If you go to the bathroom, he parks his hiney right outside the door and stays there until you come out. You may have to do this for several days before you start loosening the reins a little. Yes, it's an inconvenience, but then, so is cleaning trash and food out from your entertainment center! There's more on this technique at www.raisinggodlytomatoes.com .

Put your foot down, mama. Don't let a five-year-old push your buttons...

M.,
Hey I know what your feeling. I have a 41/2 year old boy a 21/2 girl and a 6 month old. My oldest acts out as well. Alot of people told me it was a boy thing. I have found that most of the times I have problems is because he is bored. If i don't keep him busy with activities he finds something destructive to do. I am not saying
I play 24/7 but I make sure there is something new to do each time I feel he is getting restless. I put up some toys and rotate them. This hasn't worked all the time but it has cut down on the destruction! Hope this helps.

I am a behavior therapist for children with Autism, I would love to help you. Please email me at spanky7481. Talk to you soon.

Dear M.,

I'm sorry for what you're going through - we went through some terrible times with my oldest child, so I feel your pain! I encourage you to get a copy of 'Shepherding a Child's Heart' by Tedd Tripp - I found a used copy on www.amazon.com ... That book changed our family so much for the better! I've read other 'discipline' books, but this one went so much deeper - to the 'heart.' It can be maddening to try one different thing after the other -- and it works against you, because then you're not being consistent with any one thing. 'Shepherding a Child's Heart' got us going the right direction and I can't tell you how much better things are for us now.

Also, I encourage you to log on to www.AboveRubies.org and click "How to Subscribe" to start getting a free subscription to their magazine. It is a very encouraging magazine which helps support mothers. I pray that you receive the support you need!

Blessings,
R.

Supporting you as you nurture your family.
www.NurturedFamily.com

Hi

I think "definitely" that your son is having a hard time with this new baby. He exhibits alot of behaviors that seem as if he is needing attention. Even though these behaviors are not ones that you agree with, it is his way of letting you know that he needs you.
Maybe you could try to involve him more in helping the baby. 5 year olds always like to be involved and be the "big" brother or helper.Also any time a parent has a changes within the household (baby, work etc.)kids tend to have their "sense of order" or the way they knew it before disrupted and it throws them off a little, and can make them have a harder time with things. Does he have other friends he can play with?
Good luck!
M.

Hi Machinzie! WOW!! Sounds like you've got a doozy here!! I have a son age three who is a lighter version of what you have, but with his brother being his twin, I've got TWO!! What one doesn't think of, the other will. I feel your frustration. After reading your request, I see two things: one - your son has been an only child for most all of his life. two - he has been in day care all this time while you work?...is this correct? If so, what was he like at day care? It sounds to me he is wanting attention. Here is a short story of mine...I took the twins to the doctor yesterday and of course I was ask if they are potty trained and I said NO! The twins know what to do, they just won't do it! Doctor told me to "put them in big boy underware full time, wearing pull ups only at night" I must have had a strange look on my face when he said this, because he then said to me..."and you, mom, have to CARE LESS if they mess their pants or not. They are old enough to be responsible, so make them change their own underware or wallow in their own mess". I said OK. Let me tell you another story from yesterday. One twin was told to go change his pull up, so he went to the bathroom to do so. Well, the other twin went with him. A little bit later, I checked on them and OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!! It was the most disgusting thing I had ever experienced!! They both had their poopy diaper off and stuffed it in the toilet. Then they took ALL of their clean pull ups and stuffed them in the toilet (up to the rim), then they took ALL of the toilet paper rolls and threw them in our bath tub along with more clean pull ups including another poopy one. THEN, the gross part is...are you ready for this?....they took the trash can and dumped it in the bath tub and turned the water on. Mind you, this is my 'time of the month'; therefore, THAT TUB WAS DISGUSTING!!!! Because the doctor told me to 'care less', I didn't show my frustration. My point is, if there is anyway possible you can "CARE LESS" (don't let him see your frustration) about what choices he has made, perhaps he will change for the better when he sees he only gets attention when he makes good choices. Really look for those good choices and PRAISE him. Yesterday, my son was acting up and I told him to go to his room. He said "NO"! So I made him stand up and put his nose in a corner. He whined about this. I gave him three choices 1. put his nose in a corner 2. Lay quietly on a pallet I made for him on the living room floor. OR 3. Go to his room and play quietly or rest on his bed. This way he had some choices and all of them were in my favor!!! :-) I'm only a mom using trial and error!! I hope you feel better knowing you are not the only one with this issue. Alot of it is a "boy thing". Happy Day!! :-) Deborah

I think your son is acting out for attention in the only way he knows how. He gets attention when he gets in trouble. Not that you give him any less any other time. But he uis fustrated that this little baby is taking his attention away. That he as mom and daddy all to himself. You need to set some time for him. Make a time where someone is watching the baby and go to the store for ice cream just you and him. To the park. Small things. If you can leave the baby behind then take him along with you same as your husband.If honey can shop with the baby and you two stay home. Find an activity that only you two will do together. Make a chart where he can look forward to it every week.Have him being your helper with the baby only if he wants to.He may be the type which my daughter is that responds to negitive reniforcement. Meaning they strive on that negive . Example when thay are little they hit a toy to make noise. So now as an older child he hits thst toy you to make you make a sound. And you do when you get on to him. The way to correct it. For instance when he brushes his teeth Sweetie you brush your teeth so well thank you. You are so great. Postive thought coming out. While he is playing so nice say to him I love it when you play like this this is great. When he plays bad dont use hate. It is such a harsh word. Use sweet soothing tones. with im. Even when he is bad. Get to his level and talk to him. Explain what you have to do with the baby. He might see it but does he understand it. Maybe enroll him into an afterschool program. Not Karate I dont like it personally but that is my opion. Good luck and my email always open I have been through this I know what you are going through. Good luck and I hope i have made some sense. I know I amde a few spelling errors I am in a hurry.Will correst next time.