Help My Child Is Waking to Early!!!!

Updated on January 28, 2009
A.M. asks from Fort Worth, TX
42 answers

I've put my 6mo. old down for his bedtime at 7:00 He wakes up at 4am and cries untill i go in his room at 530 and get him... The sleep souliton book says He should sleep from 7-6am.. what is going on?? He is very tired when i get him out of his bed.. So i know its not because hes ready to be awake!! Help me do i put him to bed earlier?? is he overtired?> Is that why hes awakening at 4am? He is faling asleep by 6:45 hes ready for bed i wouldnt be able to keep him up any later than 7! he takes good naps... HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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So What Happened?

So I have been getting up when he wakes up and feeding him and then putting him to bed with me.. and now he just wakes up earlier and earlier each night and more often....?? What to do ..

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A.C.

answers from Dallas on

I didn't read the rest of the responses this time around.

What worked for us: we put baby down at 7pm. Woke him up at 10 for a "focal" feeding. He slept thru the nite. Got it from some book back 20 years ago!

A.

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R.H.

answers from Dallas on

My boy got up in the middle of the night like that until he was over 10 months old. I would get up give him a bottle and then he would fall back asleep. I just thought he was hungry.

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L.L.

answers from Dallas on

Why would you let a 6 month old BABY cry from 4am to 530am? I would guess that he is hungry! Try a bottle when he wakes up or feed him a bottle just before he goes to bed--also is he wet?? 12 hrs without food is a BIG expectation for a 6 mnth old!

ME--Mom of 2 and Nana of 3!

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R.V.

answers from Dallas on

I am sorry but your child is learning that no one will come when he needs them by you letting him "CRY IT OUT". He cannot do for himself and he relies totally on you and when he needs you, you don't come because it is too early.
Try parenting without the BOOKS and go on instinct and maternal feelings - maternal feelings should not be telling you to let you precious child cry.

Just maybe he is going through a growing spurt and needs more feedings and this is why he is crying or just maybe all of the naps combined with putting him to be at 7 is too much sleep for him right now.

He is a person with all of the same needs, functions, emotions and such as you.

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S.T.

answers from Dallas on

Every child is different. Just because a book says your child should be doing a certain thing doesn't mean it will happen. Letting him cry in his crib isn't the best solution. The only thing kids learn from crying in their cribs is that their parents don't care. If you have an extra bed just take him into the room with the extra bed and lay down with him for that extra hour. Buy an alarm clock for that room so you don't oversleep, or bring him back into your room with you.

Every child is different. And books don't know your child.

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T.K.

answers from Dallas on

Every child is different. You can't go buy a book. It breaks my heart to hear that you are letting your baby cry for an hour and a half!!! Go get your baby! He's probably hungry!

Or you could go get him and bring him back to bed with you for the remainder of the time. My baby is almost 6 months old and nurses several times during the night. I couldn't imagine expecting her to sleep those hours yet.

Good luck!

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R.M.

answers from Dallas on

Reading through the responses, there is not too much I can add. I would just reienforce that your child does not have a "sleep problem". It is likely highly likely that he may be a little hugry or just want to cuddle with mommy. Remember that they are only that little for such a short period of time, what is the harm in snuggling him in bed with you in the early hours of the morning. Rest assured such behavior will not lead to life long dependence issues and he WILL learn to sleep later into the morning when HE is ready. Just think . . . in another 15 years, he will be a teenager and you will be trying to get him up by noon just so you can talk briefly with him before he heads out with friends! Enjoy this time.

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K.C.

answers from Dallas on

He might just be hungry. My daughter is 9 mos. old and she goes to bed at 7. Yesterday she was up at 5, this morning she didn't wake up till 6. There have been other mornings that she doesn't wake up until 7, but then she might wake up at 4 or 430. I think at that age you can't expect them to have the exact same sleep schedule every day. I would look at it like at least he is sleeping all night long. That's 9 hours of sleep at night, that's pretty good and he's a good napper. You've got a good sleeper on your hands, he may just be an early riser and want to get up and eat at an odd hour.

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R.A.

answers from Dallas on

A.,
I am sory to hear that you are having such a rough time with your baby.... My daughter wakes up randomly throughout the night. My first suggestion to you is to stop taking that book so seriously! Each child is differnt and they will let you know when they are tired and need to sleep. He is most likely waking up due to be hungry. I normally wake up with my daugher, feed her, i am still breastfeeding, and then she falls right back to sleep. I would just treat your child as an individual and let them tell you when they are tired.
I wish you luck with your family!

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A.J.

answers from Dallas on

The book is a general lesson but each child is different and will go off their own schedule.

Keep in mind that your baby might be going through a growth spurt and he is HUNGRY(normally makes them sleep longer but if hes hungry he will wake earlier)

or could be beginning to cut teeth or new teeth. any thing like that can disrupt sleep patterns.

you baby just might need different sleep amounts that the book says.

each child is unique and I have learned with my 3 boys that none of them ever followed a book. we had to wing it and figure out what works for each of them. I really never went off books, I listned to my child and his cues for needing to eat and sleep.

also, that is a long time for a baby at 6 months to go with out food or a new diaper... I can understand letting your baby cry at bed time before they have been asleep but to be asleep from 7pm to 4 am he is hungry and wants to eat and needs a clean diaper.

I would either put him to bed later or feed him before you go to bed and change diaper but either way, its not a good schedule for him. and he will learn not to trust you if he wakes up after 9 hours and is hungry and wet and you dont come to fix it. He's not having trouble sleeping because he just slept 9 hours but hes hungry and is letting you know. I bet if you fed him at 4 am and changed him, he would go back to sleep but I thing he needs to be put to bed later. and his bottle before bed could have a little oatmeal cereal in it.

Good luck
A. J

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C.B.

answers from Dallas on

He might be hungry. Talk to your doctor and see if you can start on a little rice cereal. I know he is young, but if he is a big baby, that could be the problem. My daughter did the same thing and a little rice cereal mixed with milk before bedtime did the trick. It seemed to stay in her tummy longer.

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S.J.

answers from Dallas on

Hi A.,

I have 9 mo twin boys that sleep 11-12 hours a night. I think your baby is hungry so try feeding some oatmeal before bed or some fruited oatmeal or granola. I hope this helps. It's frustrating figuring out the right thing to do at the right time. Wish you many blessings for 2009.

S. J

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J.M.

answers from Dallas on

Every child is different, you can't expect your child to do what a book says they should do. Try putting him to bed later if possible, that may come with time. You may try feeding him at 4:00, he may be hungry if he has slept that long and is probably tired at 5:30 for crying for an hour and a half. If you feed him at 4:00 he may go back to sleep...I think you should thank your lucky stars he sleeps that long! :)

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S.S.

answers from Wichita Falls on

I was thrilled when my son slept from 8 pm to midnight - can't imagine one sleeping all the night through before a year. I'd go get him, change him, feed him, and lay him (and me) back down.

Good luck.
S.

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T.M.

answers from Dallas on

Our newspaper delivery guy drove down our street at that time... maybe a regularly occurring noise is the issue. We put a air filter/room cleaner in the room as a soft "white noise".. solved the waking up problem. Hope that helps.

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S.S.

answers from Dallas on

Okay, first, throw the book away. Your baby hasn't read it and he clearly has his own ideas! I found that out the hard way :)
My daughter started waking up around 4 am at about 5 1/2 or 6 months. Turns out solid foods had moved from fun entertainment to a major priority- and it happened overnight. She now eats 2 to 4 jars of babyfood a day, plus cereal & bottles (about 24oz). As soon as she started eating more she started sleeping through the night again. Her sleeping habits are still changing. She's started staying awake later unless she doesn't nap well that day. Even if I put her down early she will stay in her crib talking to herself & playing until 9:30 or 10. When she's had a rough day & goes down at 7 I will get her up around 9 & "sleep-feed" her a cereal bottle. If I don't, she will wake at 4am crying & hungry. Your son just may have his own ideas. I sure hope this helps. Good luck!!!

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

My guess is he doesn't know how to put himself back to sleep after waking up. My son had that problem. He would go to sleep on his own fine, but then need me to help him go back to sleep in the middle of the night. Now, normally I would suggest letting him cry for 20-30 minutes, but you are already doing that and its not working. So, next time, I might let him cry for a bit (10-15 minutes) and then see if you can soothe him back to sleep. Maybe that means rubbing his back but not picking him up. Maybe that means actually waking him up and then re-doing your bedtime routine (that works best for mine). If you can find some way to help him go back to sleep, and get him used to sleeping 7-6 (with one wakeup) then you can start working on getting him to go back to sleep on his own. Good luck!

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

Forget the book. All kids are different. Don't let your son cry for that long. Why not get him at 4am put him in bed with you and let him have a bottle. He'll be full and satisfied and go back to sleep until a more reasonable hour. Do what works for your son. He will make his own schedule. You don't make it for him. That's a losing battle. I'm not saying let your son stay up late, but give him some latitude instead of following what some book says.

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M.G.

answers from Dallas on

The books are a suggestion as to the total number of hours your child should be sleeping at night, but that doesn't mean they won't wake up for a feeding sometime in between their total nighttime sleep. The fact that your 6 mo old is sleeping from 7pm-4am straight is great! I would recommend trying to feed your baby as soon as he wakes up at 4am and he will probably go right back to sleep, as you can then do, and wake up a couple of hours later. Good Luck!

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K.C.

answers from Dallas on

As you can see there are very strong opinions about this. Don't let your baby cry - do let your baby cry. I can totally relate to having a husband working long hours and unable to help with night time parenting. However, keep in mind that parenting is a 24 hour job and you are doing it full time while he is working and continuing to do it through the evening and night. When you need help go to your partner. Bring the baby into your bed with you and each work together to help him relax and get to sleep. Having something that connects his mind with sleep will help. For example a particular song that you only sing at sleep time (very quietly) or a teddy or blanket. Good Luck!

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M.H.

answers from Dallas on

A.,

I have read some of the responses, and it doesn't seem anyone has touched on the obvious possibility. There is usually a 3,6 and 9 month growth spurt. You might try feeding him and putting him back down. When I did this, I didn't talk. I just changed him, fed him, and but him back down. He would usually go back to sleep with in 15 minutes. Also, he could be teething, which can also be helped by feeding him. Don't worry - this won't spoil him. If he is hungry - feed him. That is what all the books say.

Good luck.

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L.W.

answers from Dallas on

some of the child expert books are total jokes. i looked at my pediatrian when she told me to use cloth diapers and said do you have children? she said no. i said case closed i'm using disposable.

i would say put your child down around 8:00 pm if he's waking up at 4:00 am. or even 8:30 pm... if he's getting a mid morning/afternoon nap, he'll be okay.

hang in there new mom.

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D.H.

answers from Dallas on

Just remember babies haven't always read the same books.

Have you tried going into the dark room, just comforting, changing a diaper if needed and then trying to let him go back to sleep?

Do you have any sounds at that time of the morning from neighbors that may be startling him awake?

Sleep is precious-I will pray that you get him to sleep a bit later!!! D.

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M.H.

answers from Dallas on

Both of my children would take a cat nap in the evening around 6:30-7:00 then would go to bed for the night at 9:00. We stay up late anyway so it worked for us. But it did help them to sleep until around 8:00 the next morning. You might try this a few nights and see if it helps. Also your baby could be waking up hungry. Give him a little more to eat befor he goes down for night time. Is he on solids? He should be at this point. Cereal, fruit, veggie. That will deffinatly help to keep his tummy full during the night. However some little boys in particular need a little more and will wake to be fed during the night. He could also be teething and is uncomfortable. I would just go in shhh him for a few mins. while rubbing his back maybe turn on some soft music and then walk out.

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A.D.

answers from Dallas on

He is probably hungry, that's a long time to go without eating. I bet if you feed him he'll sleep a few more hours.

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C.B.

answers from Dallas on

tire child out feed child a little cereal to coat stomach, and give bath and create a schedule and as long as you know nothing wrong let child cry. child will get picture. sleep with cover over head. or on the couch until child realize you not responding.

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K.M.

answers from Dallas on

A.,
First of all, don't be too h*** o* yourself. I remember when my twins (who are now 21 mos) were that age and waking up at 0-dark-30 and I was miserable. One thing that worked for us (and still does to this day) is to go in the room, lay the baby back down and talk in a very soothing, quiet voice that it's not time to wake up yet. Use simple terms like "more night-night" or "more sleep". Rub his back gently or stroke his head and then leave the room. If he cries, go back in there and do the same thing. If he is still tired, he'll go back down. It may just take a while for him to get used to not waking up so early. Give him a little bit more time. He's still little and will start sleeping longer, very soon.
Best of luck!
K.

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S.L.

answers from Dallas on

Maybe he's hungry!!!

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C.H.

answers from Dallas on

Dont you think he's hungry??? He is only 6 months....he is not doing it to be mean or anything.

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R.W.

answers from Dallas on

Hi A.,

At 6 mo old he should probably be done with middle of the night feedings. You could check with your pediatrician on this. I wouldn't suggest feeding him at 4a because if you haven't been feeding him at that time, then you would be re-establishing a habit that you've already broken. I would try backing up his bedtime to 7:30 or 8 or even 8:30p. Once he's sleeping longer then you could gradually make it earlier again. In order to back up his bedtime, you may have to make his afternoon nap a bit later. Our daughter was taking 3 naps a day at that age and going to bed between 8 and 8:30. She would sleep until 7-7:30.

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M.F.

answers from Dallas on

Hi A., just a thought....What is your child eating the few hours before bed? Some foods have too much sugar or caffiene even if it's not candy and sodas..like fruit juices. Also, it may be time to cut back on the naps. Good luck and God Bless!

M.

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K.B.

answers from Dallas on

I'm very certain that he is hungry! That is a very long tine for a baby that age to go without feeding. You either need to feed him more during the day or wake him up before you go to bed and feed him. He would probably go right back to sleep. He's not getting enough calories so you need to increase his food intake somehow and he will be able to go longer. Good Luck.

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D.J.

answers from Dallas on

Both of my children would wake up at 6am hungry. I gave them a bottle. Leave the light off and don't talk to him when you feed him the bottle. He needs to know that it's still "Night Night" time. Both of my kids would go back to sleep until 8am. You asked if he might be overtired? I say No way! Keep with the 7pm bedtime schedule. Remember feed him and put him back to bed.

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R.F.

answers from Dallas on

It might be hard for a kid that small to go almost 12 hours with no food (I certainly can't do it and I'm an adult.) Toss the book and try giving him another bottle before YOU go to bed at night. You probably don't have to wake him to do it. And count your blessings - he's sleeping well fo a kid his age. Remember that the books will not be correct for every child, and what worked for one may not work for another. Good luck!

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C.S.

answers from Dallas on

HI A.,
I am so sorry that some of these Mammas are giving you a hard time. My 7 month old still wakes up 2 or 3 times each night. She typically just wants Mommy. I am nursing her, I am not sure about you, but she wants to be close to me. I have found that when she wakes at 4:30 (or 5...or6) that I feed her and lay her in my bed close to me. She usually goes to sleep, however, sometimes she plays before she does.
My other two were down to one waking by this age, but she seems to be pretty stubborn. She too, will cry FOREVER, so I just pick her up. I know it is a little uncomfortable, but if your child wants to be held, then sleep in a recliner after he wakes up early in the morning.
You Will make it, I know it is rough, but you can do it.
Also, make sure you are going to bed early too, so that you aren't as cranky when he wakes up!!

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L.L.

answers from Dallas on

The problem is your son hasn't read the book so he doesn't know when he's supposed to sleep. Babies have their own schedules -- book or no book. Frankly, I'm surprised he sleeps as well as he does. Maybe you'll be one of the few who adheres to these "schedules"; however, for a baby that young to be sleeping that long seems rather unusual to me.

He's probably hungry or teething. Have you tried going in when he cries and feeding him? He may be going through a growth spurt which would be totally normal at this age.

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S.J.

answers from Dallas on

i would take good naps if i woke up at 4 in the morning too, and besides that... "SLEEP SOLUTION" book? this is a baby not a machine. with that in mind, try putting your little one down a little later in the evening if you're going to continue with letting him nap so "good" in the afternoons. could he be hungry????????? that's a long time for a little one to go with out food. after crying for that long he's probably developed a headache as well. poor little guy. it's up to you, but letting your baby cry for an hour and a half isn't going to help anyone out, especially him! try coddeling him back to sleep if food isn't the issue. six months old is still so tiny, and sometimes all they want is a lttle love and warmth from their mommies. love him up as much as you can. we all know you're tired at that time too, but this is a defensless totally dependent little baby. he's only 6 months. what if something were really wrong with him and you didn't find out till an hour and a half later? even if you have a monitor, that doesn't replace the human eye or touch. have you tried a nightlight? soft music? stuffed toy with womb sounds? fan?(sometimes the noise helps) try anything and everything. your answers may not always be in books when it comes to your baby, there's no blue print, they're all individual.

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M.R.

answers from Dallas on

Maybe he is waking because he is hungry? My 6 month old goes to bed at 8pm, sleeps until 4:30 or 4:45am when he wakes up to nurse and then immediately after goes back to sleep until 7am. This has worked very well for us. We tried to keep him in bed longer without feeding (we also read the books!) but he just cried and cried until we got him. Now, we all get more sleep and no crying! Hope that helps.

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S.J.

answers from Dallas on

Hi A., I know you're getting lots of advice. My babies are 3 yrs old and 5 and 1/2 months. They both sleep through the night (and have been for a while!), thanks to following the advice of THE BABY WHISPERER (book) and HEALTHY SLEEP HABITS, HEALTHY CHILD. Sample schedule for a 6 month old is in the baby whisperer. What solids you should be feeding, etc. Your baby should be eating every 4 hours, taking a morning nap, an afternoon nap, a catnap and then down for the night around 7 or 7:30. At 10:30 pm, you can do a "dreamfeed" up to 7 months. Feed a bottle while baby is asleep (we cut a slight extra slit in the nipple and put rice cereal in the formula to fill her up for the night). No lights, no talking just, feed, put back in bed (baby whisperer will explain lots better!) I swaddled my son up to 6 months and I'll swaddle my 5 month old as long as possible. It helps her to stay asleep. My baby is sleeping from 6:30 or 7:00pm to 7:00am this way. (with a dream feed of cereal/formula) Good luck! Don't listen to the mamas who tell you their babies sleep with them and that they don't expect their babies to sleep through the night! Sorry to say, they're missing out on the baby's rest and their own.

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V.W.

answers from Dallas on

Well goodness Momma, That is a long time to do without food or are you feeding and diapering him when he wakes up. I don't know about how you are feeding him but I would suggest that he be feed good at bedtime and perhaps taken and fed before "you go to bed" and then he might last through the night. Just a suggestion, I can't really know how your handling him with regards to feedings. Good Luck and count your blessings that he sleeps as long as he does,nine hours is a long time for a 6 mo old.

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M.B.

answers from Dallas on

This is totally normal. My younger son was that way for years - he was and still is a morning person. He would go to sleep like your son, but he woke up extremely early and only sometimes would go back to sleep. I quickly realized he was hungry. Personally, I realized with my first child that every child is totally different and a book that says they "should" do something like that surely was not written by a mother.

So, I would recommend you feed him and see if he'll go back to sleep - also you might try bringing him to bed with you. It might just be he's missing you. Babies naturally want that closeness with mama and honestly the 9 hours that he is away from you is a very long time for a 6 month old. And, I realize some folks will consider this spoiling, but I really felt that I was just meeting a fundamental and innate need of a human baby. And, I do have very healthy, well adjusted teenagers right now and they do just fine away from mama for long periods of time. BUT, my younger son still needs a hug and kiss in the morning and still wants to cuddle on the couch before bedtime.

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J.

answers from Dallas on

A baby of that age is most likely hungry. Feed him at that hour, in the dark so he knows it isnt playtime, and put him right back to sleep. Waking once per night is a dream for most moms so I would say you are doing well. Not all babies can adhere to a schedule like that at that age.

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