Help My 9 Month Old Is Still Eating Every 3 Hours at Night

A.,

I hate to sound blunt or harsh, but please know that I want to help you, so I'm going to give it to you straight. The issue is not your baby's stubborness, it's your lack of consistency. It sounds like she's a smart cookie and knows that if she screams hard enough and long enough, you will eventually give her what she wants. Every time you let her cry it out and then give in and get her out of bed, you are reinforcing to her that it was worth it to scream that long. If let her cry for 45 min the first time and then get her up, the next time she'll scream for 50 min. When you let her cry for 50 min and then get her up, the next time she'll scream for an hour. It's your waffling that is making the situation worse. If you want to sleep, you've got to be willing to break the cycle. If you don't think that you can handle following through on the technique that I'm going to suggest, then PLEASE stop letting her "cry it out" at all until you are ready to fight this battle, because you really are making it more difficult for the future by sending her mixed messages.

So, here it is. It's a VERY simple plan that is VERY effective if you are VERY consistent. You go through your normal bedtime routine, hold her until she is sleepy but not asleep. You want her to know that she can soothe herself to sleep (and back to sleep if she wakes in the night), so it is essential that you NOT rock her to sleep. Lay her down with a lovey - a small stuffed animal or something she can hold. Don't worry about smothering - she's old enough to move something out of her way if she can't breathe. I'm assuming that she cries as soon as you put her down. Rub her head, give her the pacifier or her thumb, blow her a kiss and leave the room for 3 min. She'll scream her head off but DO NOT GO TO HER UNTIL TIME IS UP. Then go in, wipe her tears, rub her head, assure her that she's okay, but DO NOT PICK HER UP. Stay only a minute or minute and a half, then blow her a kiss and leave the room for 5 minutes. Repeat the above steps, each time lengthening the time outside of the room to 7 min, 9 min, 11 min, and so on, but the time inside the room is always 1 to 1 1/2 min. Each time you leave the room know that she is going to pull out all the stops - screaming, coughing to the point of making you think she is choking, and so on. You and your husband (if he's not on board, send him to another part of the house because you can't have him adding to the guilt that your child is already trying to lay on you) need to be strong, stay calm and reassure yourselves that you are not doing anything to endanger your child. You are not being cruel, you are not traumatizing your daughter, you are not going to undermine the bond that you have been building for the last nine months, and she is not going to starve to death. I have an eight month old who has been sleeping through the night since she was about 3 months old. She is very healthy, very happy, and we are very well bonded. I put her down when she is awake and most nights (and naps) she doesn't make a peep. If I do have to go in to comfort her, she never fusses past the 5 min check. My older daughter slept through the night at an early age as well, and the same is true.

You can do it! It's not only you that needs your sleep, it's also your daughter. It's up to you to teach her good sleeping habits, or she will always have difficulty. She does not need to be eating every three hours. Her stomach is big enough to hold food to last her through the night (do make sure you're giving her baby food in addition to the milk during the day). She is not getting up because she's hungry, but because she doesn't know how to get herself back to sleep, and it's a habit that she needs help breaking. When she wakes in the night, do not run into her room right away. Wait 3 min, go to check on her, and repeat the above process without picking her up or feeding her. It will be a difficult couple of nights, but if you are consistent and ride it ALL THE WAY OUT (do not give up after 45 min and say the system doesn't work) it should not take long to get her used to it. If my 8 month old wakes at all in the night now, she rolls back over and goes back to sleep on her own because we've taught her that she's capable of it. Your daughter is too!!

I have a friend that was in the same situation as you before I had my second child and I told her the same things I've shared with you. Her response was that I was blessed to have had an "easy" child and it was harder for her because her child had always been needy and cranky. Well, I'm here to tell you that my eight month old is a very stubborn child and has a much stronger personality than her older sister did at this age. The system still worked. When my friend stopped making excuses and was consistent, her child finally learned to sleep through the night too (only she waited until the child was 18 months old! Imagine how sleep deprived she was).

Good luck!
J.

2 moms found this helpful

hi my kids are grown now but i remember those nights like yesterday. have you started feeding her baby food?
I think if you give her bottles but right befor bed give her a warm bath and some food mixed with baby rice cereal just enough to fill her tummy should do the trick

I've always let my children sleep with me while they were that young so I really can't help there except to say that she is insecure for some reason. What does your baby eat and when does she eat? She may be needing something more substantial and maybe eating something a little closer to bedtime will help. If she has been doing this for a while and nothing seems to help you may want to check with your pediatrician.

If she is eating baby food along eith bottles during the day, she should be getting plenty of food, so you don't have to feel guilty about letting her scream for a few nights. What I have done with my 3 kids, is to put them in their crib at bedtime while they are still awake, so they learn to put themselves to sleep. Then, shut the door and WALK AWAY. They will eventually go to sleep! At this point, it might take 3 or 4 evenings of you ignoring her, but then she will learn how to sleep by herself. The same principle would apply for the middle-of-the-night feedings: let her have a bottle of water in the crib so if she is really thirsty she can have some water, and just let her cry. I know it is is hard, but if you can make it through the first 3 or 4 nights of her crying (and not pick her up, no matter what!), you might actually get some sleep! Good luck, feel free to ask me if you have any more questions...

HI A.
I hate to hear that you are going through this. My baby done this for a while. He wanted to nurse every hour at night and would sleep alot in the day. I finally tried feeding him more in the day and playing more and not allowing him to sleep as much. I give him a bottle around 5 feed him his babyfood at 7 and then another bottle at 9ish. After a few nights of doing this he goes down for the night at about 1030 or so when i go. And he wakes up at 7am ... Consistancy is a big key. I don't agree with the cry it out thing. There is always another way. Everyone has got an opinion though. So i am not saying anything bad about it. Just that i don't agree with doing it. I feel that your baby will feel unsecure which is not good.

As far as sleeping with you. If you can sleep and are ok with it then let her sleep with you until you get her broke from getting up every 3 hours and then try to tackle the crib task. I wouldn't try to do both at once. One thing you could do is put the pack n play right beside your bed and when she wakes crying or fussing just get up and pat her back to sleep. Or put the crib in your room for a while if it is not already in there.

I would not try both of these at once. Get her sleeping through the night and then tackle the bed situation.

My baby takes a long nap in the mornings from about 8am until around 10-11am and then he gets up eats his baby food takes a 6oz bottle (he's a big eater) and plays in his swing exersaucer or whatever i put him in. After about 30 min. i get him and play with him. Around 130pm he takes a nap until 2 and eats a 8 oz bottle. about 3 when i go get my older son at school he naps in the car. He wakes up from that nap around 4 and then at 5 i start the night time routine. after he eats the baby food for dinner i play with him and about 8 i give him a bath.
Just try to develop a routine that your baby girl loves. If you keep her awake more in the day even if it is 2 naps now cut the time down it just might work. I hope that all this helps i know it is long but i thought it might help.
good luck hun.

What about cutting teeth or maybe the warning signs of a cold?? My son will soon be 9 months and he still wakes up in the middle of the night for a bottle. Sometimes he sleeps with me, sometimes in his own bed. The only times I'd had a problem with him not wanting to sleep by himself was while he was sick and when his teeth came in.

Try Feeding her a larger portion of cereal made with warm milk, or formula with a spoon, not in a bottle. then giving her a nice warm bath, before bed.

A.
Im right there with you except for sleeping in my bed. My daughter will be one tomorrow and she stills gets up 2 or 3 times a night. I give her cereal and fruit and a bath before bed but it does not help. I NEED SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!! My 7yr old did sleep with us so I learned my lesson with that. She was in our bed until she was 5. I wish I knew a solution cause Im so wore out and cant seem to get anything done. I hope she grows out of it. Lets stay in touch and help each other my email is ____@____.com

I really feel for you. I think that not getting enough continuous sleep makes you crazy after a while!!
My first baby was an easy sleeper, so I thought I had it all figured out. HA! My second baby was a totally different story. I had to really work with him to get him to sleep in his crib and to sleep through the night. The book "The no-cry sleep solution" by Elizabeth Pantley had some good tips for me. I have to admit that I had to use a modified "no-cry sleep solution". He did have to cry & fuss sometimes to get to sleep, but it wasn't crying for hours until total exhaustion.
It will take time to get it to work, but it’s worth it. Good luck to you!!

My son is 8 months and he ssleeps in his crib all night.
when he gets ready for bed every night i give him a jar of baby food usually fruit then give him a bath in order to let it settle a bit, then i take him upstairs lay him on my bed with a bottle and lay curled up beside him with in 5 min. hes asleep. i put him in his crib and he only wakes up once a night to eat and when he does its only for a min then hes right back to sleep.

I cant say I have ever had or have this problem with any of my 3 kids, and i also have a 9 mth old, but is the baby eating baby food or reg. table food yet? cereal and other foods would be a plus closer to bedtime. 3 meals and 3 snacks maybe.. good luck.

Dear A. B.
It is very hard to break a child of that habbit, I never had the problem of my daughter sleeping in our bed, because she just couldn't sleep with us and would keep me up all night if she did. So She has her own room, and what we did to break her from waking up every 3 hours was give her a bottle of water instead of a bottle of milk so everytime she wakes up after bed time (our daughters bedtime is 7-8ish) we would give her a bottle of water, she pretty much stopped getting up after the 2nd night, it wasn't worth it to her. If you want her to sleep in her own bed, give her her own room, put her in bed as soon as she is ready to go down for the night give her a warm bottle walk out of the room and shut the door give her total darkness and silence, our kid can sleep through our tv but at first it took her getting usta sleeping in a dark room alone which the darkness helps them to sleep because there are no destractions in the dark. Now our daughter cant sleep if her door is opened so she likes it totally dark. But try the water thing and see if it helps. Most babies can't sleep with adults because the slight movements of your body can wake them. My dr. told me that, because kailey usta sleep next to our bed in a basennett but she couldn't sleep it kept her awake the slightest sound she would pop awake and it would take forever for her to go back to sleep. Well I hope this helps you have a great week.

Hi, i had thst problem, and what i found helped my daughter is taking her a nice bath and giving her a warm bottle with a little ger rice added, after i burped her she would be asleep and i would put her in her bed, she would sleep until 5am. i usually put her to bed around 8 or 9, it may work for you. also try baby massages. Rub her down with the johnson and johnson nite time lotion while playing a soothing cd of some sort. Good Luck!

Right before bedtime give her a warm bath and a bottle with some rice baby cereal in it. They make special nipples for the cereal to be able to go through. She shouldn't be needing food through the night at this age. It sounds like she is starting to use food as a comfort and excuse to get mom into her room. If the cereal doesn't work and she is getting enough baby food during the day and not just a milk bottle, you should tell her pediatrician so you can make sure she doesn't some type of problem with her digestive system.

Hi A.! I really really feel for you and truly understand what you are going through. Everyone tried to convince me to let my daughter "cry it out" I finally gave in after trying everything else. By everything else, I mean the following: Establishing a solid bedtime routine, Early bedtime, Later Bedtime, Shorter Naps, Longer Naps, Cereal with chamomile tea in it, Benadryl for 2 weeks (per my pediatrician's advise). NOTHING WORKED!!!!!! I have been absolutely exhausted. Well, I was concentrating so hard on the "rules" of Cry It Out. I made my own rules and this worked for our very very very stubborn little girl who was used to sleeping on my chest at night and was extremely restless most of the night.
Here's what we did: We kept her bedtime routine which is, dinner (babyfood), playtime, a bath, book, and a bottle. Then I used the same phrase each time I put her down, "Night night baby, I love you. It's time to go night night"
I layed her in her crib while she was asleep and she would immediately wake up. So I stayed in the room with her. I sang lullabies and rubbed her head. Sometimes, I would have to walk out for a minute or two in order to collect my sanity and strength. Of course, it was my every instinct to pick her up. And you know what? I did a couple of times that first night because my baby was so hysterical that I thought she was going to puke and my heart was breaking. I felt the need to calm her. So, I did and then I would lay her back down. (As a side note, we have those light and music projectors that strap onto the crib and those really helped) So that first night, she cried for 2 hours. It was the hardest thing ever.
But, the next night, she only cried for 45 minutes. That night was hard also. I only picked her up once. But I walked out quite a few times because she pulled herself up on the side of the crib and reached out her arms crying "Mama" It really broke my heart. She finally layed down and went to sleep.
Last night was night 3 of CIO. She cried less than 10 minutes!!!!!!!!!!!! I am thrilled and getting some rest finally.
Good luck to you. I really hope that you find something that works for your baby and for you. You have to keep your sanity during this time.