HELP!! My 8 Month Old Does Not Go to Sleep Easily...

Updated on September 23, 2009
P.H. asks from Fort Worth, TX
16 answers

I have an 8 month old who used to go to sleep like a charm!! When he hit 6 months something snapped and he started waking up in the middle of the night and needed to be rocked back to sleep or be brought to bed with us. I attributed it to a growth spurt, but he is still in this phase of needing to be rocked to sleep. I am trying to break the habit by letting him cry it out, but the boy will cry until the cows come home!! I let him cry for about 5 minutes (that's about all I can stand) and then I will go in, comfort him, and lay him back down. This process is done until he eventually falls asleep, usually after about the third or fourth time. Am I doing the right thing or is there a better way?

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So What Happened?

Thanks to everyone for their input!! I really appreciate it. I did take into consideration whether or not he's hungry, etc. I make sure that he has had a bottle before bedtime. He's warm natured, and his head gets hot (he's been this way since he was born) so I make the room comfortable for him with his fan on low. As far as napping is concerned, he used to take naps like clockwork, but again, something snapped at 6 months and he hasn't napped appropriately (at least in my eyes) since. He takes 1-2 naps a day!! I KNOW!! But he's the same way about napping that he is about bedtime; I either have to rock him or he cries. He's one of those babies that just doesn't want to miss out on anything!! Once I can get him to sleep at night, he usually sleeps until morning. It's only occasionally that he wakes in the middle of the night now. When I do rock him to sleep, if he's not in a deep sleep and I lay him in his crib, he will wake right back up and start crying. It's amazing, I tell you!! I will see what works and let you all know!!

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S.R.

answers from Dallas on

I rocked both of mine to sleep until they were about 3... now I miss those days. They grow up too quickly!

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J.G.

answers from Dallas on

I used to play enya cd for them to fall asleep with. My boys also got read to at an early age to help them fall asleep. I think it was just the sound of my voice they needed to hear to put them to sleep. Hope those will help.

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S.C.

answers from Dallas on

My son did the same thing at 6 months. I believe it was because we started solids and his tummy was getting used to things. Please check out this book - it has GREAT ideas on helping babies sleep without crying it out. It also talks about the research that shows how detrimental crying it out is for baby and mom. I still nurse and rock my son to sleep and he's 12 months. Someday we'll have to change but for now - we can enjoy this short time in their lives even if it means less sleep for mama! :)

The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two (Revised and Updated Edition) by William Sears, Martha Sears, Robert Sears, and James Sears
http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Book-Everything-Revised-Update...

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M.G.

answers from Dallas on

P.,

I am a firm believer in "tough love." I have 3 kids, and my rule was that I was their slave until they hit 6 months of age. Once they were 6 months, I didn't get them in the middle of the night - they were on their own.

With that said, there may be a valid reason why your baby is having a hard time falling asleep. Could he be hungry or thirsty? Make sure he eats a good dinner and gets plenty of liquid before bed. Could he be warm or cold? If he is warm or cold, it will also be hard to fall asleep. Make sure the temperature in his bedroom is comfortable. Is it loud in your house? Babies need to fall asleep in a quiet environment and in the pitch dark. Could he be teething? Maybe give him some Infant Tylenol right before bed. My last thought is naptime. Is he getting a good nap or naps during the day? That is important! The more a baby sleeps, the more he will sleep! Don't skip his naps during the day in hopes that he will be exhausted and fall to sleep immediately at night - that doesn't work, it's a myth!

Good luck!

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D.B.

answers from Dallas on

www.babywhisperer.com These folks are masters at coaching you through this situation.

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S.C.

answers from Dallas on

I respond to questions all the time from moms who have 6-8 month olds who suddenly stop sleeping well, so it must be very common. My experience 4 1/2 years ago was similar and I found the Fisher Price Flutterbye soother. It's a crib toy that the child can turn on and it plays music and also plays a little rotating cartoon movie thing on the ceiling. My daughter loved Baby Einstein videos, so I thought she might like something "video" related to get her back to sleep. This thing was a miracle! I don't know if they still make it, but maybe there's something similar out there. My daughter would wake up and initially we'd turn it on for her and she'd go back to sleep, but then she started turning it on herself. We'd hear it through the baby monitor 2-3 times a night. I LOVE this product!!!! Good luck!

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J.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi -- I'm a Dad and my wife and I have experienced something similar with our two girls (who sleep from 7pm to 7am like clockwork, generally). One explanation may be that he is sleeping too much during the day in terms of his naps, and therefore he wakes up after some amount of sleep during the night because he's just not tired enough. In terms of the crying it out issue -- I know it's really hard to let your baby cry, but at 8 mos. he's way old enough to soothe himself, and if you keep running in after 5 mins he will keep on crying. Why don't you try letting him go a bit longer like 10-15mins and see if it turns into more of a "protest cry" ... then extend longer to 15-20mins and so on until he falls asleep by himself. If this doesn't work -- the best sleep consultant I know (she's famous in the Bay Area) is named Vivian Sonnenberg -- Her cell is ###-###-#### (tell her J. Slavet sent you).

Good luck!

J.

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T.C.

answers from Dallas on

My son did the same thing and I asked my pediatrician about it. He said I was reinforcing the behavior by going to get him and needed to let him cry it out. The first night, he cried for 35 minutes (I cried for over an hour), the second night it was down to 20 minutes, and it gradually decreased from there. Now when he wakes up in the middle of the night he normally puts himself to sleep within about 5 minutes. There are times when they are teething or going through a growth spurt that they really do need your comforting, and you will know the difference in their crying. I always think back to what it took to get him to going to sleep on his own and it keeps me from going into his room. It will get harder in a few months when they can talk. There is nothing that will break your heart more than when they wake up and call your name and you have to let him cry it out.

Good luck and even though it is hard, it will be better in the long run.

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C.A.

answers from Dallas on

My little guy (5 months) just started doing the same thing and I have tried all the trick of the trade as well. I guess this is just one of many stages we will go through. I know this is not very helpful but I wanted you to know your not the only one.

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V.T.

answers from Dallas on

alot of children's sleep patterns change at 6 months. someting happens around then. chalk it up to teething or whatever but every baby goes through it. i know i'm in the minority on this but crying it out works! should take about 3 to 4 days. put him to bed and then set the timer for 20 minutes. you heard right 20 minutes. turn the moniter off, shut your door and shut his. Don't listen to his crying. if he is still wailing after 20 minutes go and comfort him. then set the timer again for 20 minutes. once he breaks his habit he should go to sleep great. i think that teaching our children to fall asleep on their own is one of the first lessons we need to teach them as parents. once they learn this we can all get more sleep. they are happier children and you are better parents because you are all well rested,

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K.K.

answers from Dallas on

I read most of the book "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" and it gave great strategies to helping. It is great you are listening to your instincts on this and not doing the CIO method......he will get it. Check out the book, I found it helpful.

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A.L.

answers from Dallas on

our baby started that at 3 mos. we talked to the doc but he said it is prolly night terrors or gas. i had night terrors as a kid so i think this is the problem. the doc said we could do what you are doing but i have seizures so that doesnt work for us. i just let her fix her own schedule and work around it. its prolly terrible to do but if i dont get rest then i could have a seizure. the doc said if we did it the way you are doin it would prolly take a good month of that until they get the point. there is also a book that i was told to get i havent yet but i hear it is good i think its called the no cry method or something like that

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L.W.

answers from Dallas on

at this wake time, if he has a clean diaper, been given a "snack", and things feel comfortable in the room, walk out and let him cry. he'll be okay. get ear plugs. you could also play classical music at a very low volume in his room.

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E.C.

answers from Dallas on

My first daughter was the same way. Great sleeper then 6 months hit. She was a bad teether, I think. This is what worked for us. I would go in and comfort her without taking her out of the crib. Sometimes chang her diaper and everything in the crib. Also, if you think it might be teething baby motrin before bed and sippy cup of water in the crib works as well. The sippy cup gives your baby something to chew on in the middle of the night for soothing if they are teething plus they can drink if they get thirsty. Good luck!!

Also, I read some of the responses. I would be reluctant to not check on your baby at this age. There could be something else going on. I know there was one time my baby was crying b/c her leg was stuck in the crib.

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C.B.

answers from Dallas on

It is very common for little ones sleep patterns to change. A lot of times when they are teething or learning new developmental skills, ie sitting up, crawing, ect, they will wake in the night and need to be comforted back to sleep. Also rocking an 8 month old to sleep is not a bad thing in anyway. Yes that makes he dependant on you but then again he is only 8 months and will not want/need you to rock him to sleep for long. It is so fast that our little ones grow up and then how we wish they would fall asleep in our arms. Treasure this time as it passes much to quickly. I know it is exhuasting--my first one was difficult to put to sleep and I could not and still can not handle "crying it out", at least not when they are babies. She is a great sleeper now and has been for years. I hope this helps. Good luck!

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J.C.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter was like that as well. She would cry and scream like there was no tomorrow and no one got any sleep.

We started co-sleeping. I didn't want to do it, but getting sleep was very important. The co-sleeping did work for all of us and it was not a hard transition to get her to her bed and room. I didn't rush the transition. We were all happy. Co-sleeping may not work for everyone, but keep in mind what works for you and the family.

She's 3.5 now and she may ask a couple of times a month to sleep in our bed, but she usually sleeps in her own room.

Oh, allowing my daughter to cry it out, didn't work either nor rocking her to sleep. You will eventually finds out what works to get him to sleep. At least he goes after the fourth time, so that's a start!

GL!

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