Help! My 4 Year Old Son Is Addicted to Wii!!!!!

Updated on April 13, 2010
S.C. asks from Citrus Heights, CA
12 answers

Hi moms,

My children received a Wii for Christmas, mostly for my 10 year old daughter who had been asking for it. I've always been hesitant to have a video game in my house, but my husband talked me into it. I didn't even think my son would be interested (or able) to play....but boy was I wrong! It started out with the standard game "Army Tanks" which he loved to play whenever possible, but it wasn't out of control. He discovered at the gym was the game Batman Lego which he loved to play. Bonus for me because he stopped fighting me to go to the gym. He just received the game for his birthday and it's been downhill ever since. It's ALL he thinks and talks about. He wakes up in the morning and immediately wants to play. He comes home from preschool and wants to play. He talks about it all the time and gets really, really upset when I don't let him play. I just spoke with his preschool teacher and asked if she'd noticed a change in his behavior and she said yes. For the past few weeks (his birthday was 3 weeks ago)he really comes unglued when corrected or told "no". The same thing is happening at home. I almost want to take it away altogether, but my husband thinks we should just limit it to a half hour in the morning (after he's eaten and all ready for school) and in the evening after dinner, etc. I'm not sure what to do. Has anyone experienced this and figured out how to correct it? My husband thinks it will eventually taper down just as it did for the Army Tanks. Aghhhhhhhhhhhh! :)

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So What Happened?

Wow, thank you for all the wonderful responses, you moms are such a wonderful resource. Things are better, but it is a struggle. We've severely limited the time he plays and we set the timer so when it's over, it's over; no questions asked. He still asks first thing and every chance he gets...but the answer is always no. It is a great bargaining tool I must add....any threat of taking away Wii and he shapes right up! I also want to add that he and dad play it together and it's become quite a neat problem-solving time for the two of them. Although I don't play it, I see what they have to do to figure things out and move to the next level and I think it's been good bonding time for them (he's a momma's boy.)

Thank you again for all your suggestions!

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C.A.

answers from San Francisco on

I don't have any advice, but a little story I guess. My cousins oldest son, now 13 was addicted to video games. He would play whenever he could, starting at about 3 or 4. He was so mean to his brothers and his punishment would be to have them taken away. He would be nice as could be (and I don't think it was to get what he wanted) and within minutes of playing the games he would be mean again. So mean you could see it in his eyes. He did eventually out grown this, about 8 years later. His younger brother played almost as often, but the games didn't have the same effect on him.
Another down side was taking her older one anywhere. He hated being out, socializing, being outside in generally. My mom watched all 3 of my cousins sons one summer and it got to the point she would leave the oldest one home with someone else when they went some where because he made everyone else so miserable.
Do with this what you'd like, you story just sounds a little familiar to me.
Best of luck,
C.

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S.M.

answers from San Francisco on

I hate these damn video games, too. I told my sons that they were not going to have any "xboxes" or "playstations" in my house. If they wanted to play video games, they could do it at their friends' houses. As they got older, I agreed to let them have a few games on their PC, but I always review the games they choose, because there is some disgusting stuff out there. (And there were a couple of instances where some game boxes were sneaked into the house, and I had to confiscate them.)

It's funny--- my boys wept and wailed about how none of their friends would want to come over, and they would just be social lepers, and yada yada yada... Actually, my house has become the social nerve center for all my sons' friends. I am constantly tripping over giant teenage boys, and none of them are playing video games.

Take the Wii away from your little boy. You are the parent, and that's your job. If he "comes unglued," tell him he can "come unglued" in his own room. Talk with your husband about how much you dislike your kids playing with this game, and agree on an amount of time they will be allowed to play it. And I can't imagine why you would want to allow your kids to play video games in the morning before school. What a horrible way to start the day.

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C.M.

answers from San Francisco on

At this juncture... I wouldn't allow it in the house. But that's because I can't STAND video games... if we had one... I know DH would be parked the second he got home... and the kids would follow suit.

I have a little cousin that's the youngest of 3. He's played video games since he could... and he's now 16. a HORRIFYING slouch... If he stood up straight I bet he'd grow about 6 inches... the posturing for games (and the internet have you noticed???) Is AWFUL...

I'd set limits of some sort... and explain when he throws a tantrum over it... he's gonna miss an extra day.

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C.C.

answers from Fresno on

I guess I'm old fashioned, but I don't think playing video games is good for them when they're so young. During the preschool years they should be playing with real legos instead of ones on the tv screen! Just my opinion, but I think you could make the rule that he can only play Wii when you are at the gym - that would still allow him to play, but limit his access to it. Good luck.

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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

Dear S.,

Make a compromise with your husbands wishes,get some educational videos for during the week. Let him play the videos of his choice on weekends ONLY. Still, limit his time (week days and weekend because children should go outside and play). If he throws a fit,he gets NO video time for the day. Kids are never too young to start developing character and start to understand NO means NO!

Blessings.....

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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

S. -- it so SO GOOD to hear your problem!! This week I have removed video games from my 15 year-old's life, and I may make it longer. At least I intend to. He is top of his class in high school, and excels on the swim team, so it's really hard to limit the rest of his life, but he shows definite signs of addiction -- exactly the signs you mentioned in your post. I notice more aggressive behavior, a disinterest in everything else, and all he wants to do when he is home is get back to his gaming. I want to remove it completely until he normalizes and find a way to reintroduce it in a more healthy way. When I told him Monday that it was gone for the week, he collapsed on the couch, and lay there comatose for hours, like he had lost his will to live. How else to label that but addiction?

I think 1/2 hour twice a day is a good start. Give it a try. More than 1/2 hour at any time will get the addictive juices flowing. Good luck and let me know how it goes.

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R.S.

answers from Sacramento on

You need to take control of the situation and make sure you son doesn't control you, which it seems to be headed that way. Put your foot down. There is absolutely no reason why he needs to be playing each and every single day nor even twice a day, for that matter. There are so many other and more interactive things this boy should be doing. Do it now before it gets truly out of control.
If you want to let him play every day, i think in the afternoon or evening is the best time (and when EVERYONE can play). There is no reason he needs to be playing in the morning when he should be preparing himself for the day.
Video games are truly mind numbing and addictive. Nothing can replace the true joys the the great outdoors for exploration and fun.

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C.H.

answers from Cedar Rapids on

S. C, thank you for your post! Like many others, we are experiencing the same thing with Wii. My 5 yr old son is simpy fixated on playing and even re-enacting the games when he is done -- it's like he can't turn it off in his head. I think it seriously impacting his social development and I'm ready to put mine in a closet until he can see that Wii is not the center of the universe. Although we already set limits (a timer is set for 20 mins), the time ends with frustration and he is constantly trying to negotiate his next Wii "playdate." I think he needs to spend time riding his bike, playing on his swingset, making friends in the neighborhood, making and building things. Again, I feel your frustration completely and really appreciate the opportunity to hear how other Moms are handling this. Thanks again!

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L.S.

answers from San Francisco on

We have a X-box 360, and recently recieved Guitar Hero, well my 6 yr old LOVES it! We made the rule the saem as we did for the computer or her DS, she gets a MAX of 30 minutes a day, as long as she finishes her homework and any chores she is given are done. On Saturdasy, depending on what our errands/chores etc are, she moght get to play it twice during the day for 30 min. I set a timer and she knows as soon as the timer goes of, the game goes off. she fought it a little bit at first and I took everythign away for a month, after that, she has never fought me on it.

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K.B.

answers from San Francisco on

My 6-yo son plays some Xbox360 games, including the Lego games (batman, star wars, indiana jones)... and the important thing for us parents is to know exactly what we are dealing with. The LEGO games are actually pretty cool developmentally, not at all mind numbing. It involves serious problem solving, cause-and-effect, and if played with another person, great teamwork and communication. My husband and son play together and have finished all the tasks with real pride and accomplishment. But I noticed a friend's son played it differently, because he didn't know how to play. So instead of searching for next clue or item, he'd just be shooting randomly at stormtroopers. It's possible that your son's demeanor comes from frustration at not knowing how to play. He's actually rather young for these games (although I don't know what Army Tanks is like). I think you should take a good look at how he's playing to determine whether or not he's really ready for it. If not, maybe get him a Leapster, so he can have the fun of a video game (that uses great educational and appropriate content) until he's old enough for the real video games. If you think he is ready for them, then perhaps make video gaming something to be earned. Good behavior, both at school and at home, will be rewarded -- bad reactions to being told NO will not.

A.H.

answers from San Francisco on

We haven't had to deal with video games specifically yet, but sometimes my son will get hooked on a video and all he will want to do is watch it. I limit him to once a day. I tell him before we start the video that this is it. When he protests I give him 3 suggestions of other things to do and if he says no to all 3 then I tell him TOO BAD and walk away. 99% of the time he takes one of my suggestions after I walk away! The problem repeats with different videos over time. I don't think think this is necessarily a video game specific problem - it seems to happen with all electronic media. Yep! Setting limits and sticking to your guns is the way to go here.

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M.S.

answers from San Francisco on

S.,

Decide how much or how little you are comfortable with him playing on it.Make sure you and your husband are on the same page and will enforce the rules the same. Don't give to more when he asks for it. If he continues to ask and talk about it, tell him you are going to take it away for a while until he learns to listen to the rules. I know it sounds strict, but video game addiction is very real and you will want to nip this in the bud asap.

Molly

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