Help My 3Yr Old Is Out of Control!!!!

I have to tell you some not so good news!! I think that as they get closer to 4 it gets even worse. My SIL says that her son almost disn't make it through 3-4...and now I am going throught it with my 3 1/2 daughter. I know that by the time that they are 5 it has to be better!!

Although I have a 2 year old and a baby on the way!! Someone should have told me that children make you crazy...BEFORE I WAS AT THIS AGE!!!

Hun welcome to the world of "mother of two"! Think about all the changes in your sons life in the last few monthes.(baby, you getting married) HE IS MAD AT YOU!! And he doesnt know how to tell you so he is using anything in his power to get your attention! Try spending some one on one time with him if possible(I know it hard but try). Also, I have enlisted what I call a "smart reward" system at my house. For every "smart" choice you recieve a smart reward.(I use smarties candy(one piece)). It can be anything from picking up your toys to helping with the baby! GOOD Luck & remember you are never alone!

T.,

Continue to do what you are doing for discipline. The terrible twos is a misnomer. It is the terrible threes. Oh my, my son was horrible at 3. I shudder to remember it. Like you, my children were spaced three years apart. It is difficult to have a little one when dealing with a 3 year old. I think jealousy played a part in my son's behavior. . . Well, now he is a well-behaved, nice, sweet 5 year old. He even says "yes ma'am" sometimes! Hang in there!

My best advice is that he's trying to test you and see how far he can go and what he can get away with. He may also be looking for attention. What i would do is tell him no and then depending on what its about or what is going on ignore him. As long as he's not in danger of getting hurt... If you put him in time out and he won't stay there, make him. you have to ignore it... Sounds to me like you are going through some of the same things i'm going through, except my son that is giving me a hard time is five. I have a younger child who is fifteen months and another due this week. so maybe we are picking up on alittle bit of anger because of the younger ones. I have been spending more one on one with my five year old and that seems to be helping. Maybe if you try this it will help. But keep your foot down when you put it down...
good luck and i hope this helps. and if you find something else that does, please keep me informed. try and stay away from negative feed back...

Hi T.!
Ahhh..the terrible three's!! Makes the two's look normal, huh? LOL! He's testing his boundaries and you. As Tammy mentioned, changes affect little ones. With them not being able to fully comprehend, they get frustrated. Can you imagine not being able to communicate your feelings and thoughts to the people around you? Well, that's HIM!! Welcome to his world! LOL! Just set firm house rules and stick to them. It's gonna be hard to be consistant. It's always easier to just give in and give them what they want, but don't do it. One rule I have always had in my house that no one gets by with is: "You don't hate people. You can hate things, not people." All my kids grew up with that one. LOL! An important thing for you to do here is to STAY CALM!! No matter what! When you get visibly upset, he knows it and in his little mind.....he wins. Try saying to him, "I'm the mommie." put emphasis on "I'M". Tammy hit it on the nose when she said to spend one on one with him. Another thing that works well is: when he's being good at anything, acknowledge it. Even if it's just walking by and rubbing his little head with a smile. Saying "I love you" for no apparent reason helps too. He probably feels like he has to compete with your 3 month old. Let's face it, babies get LOTS of attention. And with everything else going on, he probably feels like he got lost in the shuffle. This is all normal. Sometimes, just stating in a firm voice what he's to do and sticking by it, no matter what, is enough. Try to make the punishment fit the crime. IE: taking his toys from him when he says "I hate you." will not connect in his little head. Having him say "I'm sorry." and giving that person a hug will bring the crime/punishment together for him. Remember to keep it simple for him. He is only three. Long explainations will go in one ear and out the other. Make simple statements and follow through. And when you say "No." make it stick. No matter what! Just keep saying in a calm voice, "I said No." Repetition is how they learn. Try not to pull your hair out over this, there'll be plenty of time for that when he reaches the teen years! LOL!!! In the meantime....enjoy the quiet moments!!

Just Me!
S.

I'll be praying for strength and peace for you!!

T.,

Don't give up, be firm and DONT GET MAD, he's testing you. If he throws the fit long enough, do you give in? What is his reward for being naughty. Keep working with the time out and loss of priviledges, exp TV, Games, Outside. It will be hard and very trying on you, but remember you love him and he doesn't understand how things work yet.. Try to figure out what he is receiving in return for the temper tantrums, do you cave, more attention, or simply an outburst of a 3 year old..

HANG IN THERE.. He will get the message.

M. W

One thing I read regarding when kids tell you they hate you is to say "That's okay, I Love you" and walk away. That way they aren't getting the response they were hoping for - which is to upset you and it makes them double think what just happened. We shouldn't belittle their feelings (no matter how much we don't like them) because to be honest, if we were their age wouldn't we feel the same way?? Sometimes that's the only way they know how to communicate what is going on in their minds.
I did this with my son when he told me he hated my dh (was his stepdad at the time, has since adopted him) and myself. He was about 10-11 at the time and I just said thats okay, we love you and I walked out of his room. He is now 12 and hasn't said it since. (He said it quite frequently before that). I also passed this along to my best friend and she tried it on her 5 yr old son and he didn't know what to say, so he went and told his dad that he hated him and his dad did the same thing and he didn't know what to do. She told me he has quit saying it to them now, because he isn't getting the rise out of them that he would get before.
Just a thought. I know it isn't right to hate people and to say that you do, but sometimes thats just how you feel at that particular moment in time and for kids, they feel that they need to tell people, where as adults we know that when we aren't particularly fond of someone at certian times, we know that we should keep it to ourselves, typically the moment passes and we like them again anyway. (most of the time LOL~just kidding)
Hugs and prayers!

Kids, you gotta love them! lol I have been going thru this to with my two year old. She has a mind of her own, but I love her to pieces. What I do is stay consistant, and putting her to bed usually works, unless yours doesnt stay in bed very well. No Im not saying a nap, just make her lay down for a while. My mom also bought me a time-out bear. It has a timer and instead of binging, it sings Please release me. Its very cute and very effective. You are going to have to ignore alot of behavior too, its hard, but by paying attention to it can make it worse. The others are right, he is jealous of the new baby, and he doesnt handle changes as well as we do. As soon as you see him being good, then jump all over it with lots of hugs and rewards, etc. Good Luck!

Yes 3 is much worse than 2!

This program really helped me.

http://eric.ed.gov/ERICWebPortal/Home.portal?_nfpb=true&a...

Don't feel bad, actually he sounds like a typical 3yr old boy. I have 2 girls and the naughty corner works for them, but my sister-in-law has 2 very difficult boys. She actually makes them go to the bathroom & sit on the toilet until they control themselves. She sets a time limit & it begins when they are silent. It seems to work with them. But I'm sure he will eventually grow out of it. My girls are very high maintenance & whine alot which drives me nuts. I tell them to go in another room until they are done or I remove myself from the situation. Good luck. And, what is your home based business? I'm a stay at home mom who would love to work as well. Thanks, D. Schnuelle