17 answers

Help Me to Help My Husband

My husband needs to lose some weight. Not a ton but at least 25 pounds. He has such a hard time being motivated for some reason and I try not to nag at him because I know that that is not being supportive. However, he does know that it is important to me because I have told him. He says he wants to lose but it doesn't seem that important to him. He had borderline high blood pressure even as a super thin person 10 years ago and all of his family has been put on BP meds before they even hit 45. See I was a "fat kid" and struggled with my weight all my life and am finally thin. I feel like the struggle I went though taught me how to eat, how to stop eating before I was stuffed etc. He was the opposite. He was super thin (like almost too thin) until he hit about 26 years old and then shot up 20 pounds and now has gone up 20 more in the last few years. So he has no portion control. It used to be a running joke with us when we were like 22 that he could never have enough food because we would get fast food (which we don't now) and he would get 5 hamburgers, so he could eat 4 now and have one later. It is like he takes comfort in the idea of "unlimited" food. He knows this is an issue but still doesn't seem to be able to control it. I cook a healthy "normal size" dinner and he is raiding the fridge 30 mins later. Has anyone else been a "skinny kid" who now has to watch their weight and do you have any advice? I know he will not do the weight watchers thing... he is so so busy and I think that it would be too much work to count points and such. I lost my own dad at 37 due to being overweight so him being heavy taps into other fears in my mind. Plus I want my sexy man back! :)

ETA I do still think he is sexy but I just love his body when it doesn't have so much, um, tummy. lol

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

My husband is the EXACT same way!
He was skinny skinny SKINNY when he was a kid.
He was literally a bottomless pit.
He used to eat so much as a kid at lunch at school, CPS was called to his home because the school thought his parents weren't feeding him! LOL

Now though, he still has the appetite, but not the skinny waist line :(

No portion control what so ever.
I have no idea how to help mine with this problem either :(
Looking forward to reading responses.

**My husband is very strong and gets lots of exercise, plays hockey, but he just eats too much.

1 mom found this helpful

You can give him all the advice, tips, and coaxing in the world, and he won't be able to change his eating habits until HE wants to. But you might try getting him a subscription to a men's health magazine. They usually have motivational articles in every issue on diet and exercise, and they are written to men, by men, from a man's point of view. Something might just catch his fancy.

More Answers

For me...being a total "fatty" at heart myself, it's not having "it" in the house..period. If it's here I will eat it. Guess that means I have little self control when it comes to the bad stuff :-) but I know this so I just don't buy it..and as a result I never even think about it. You may already do this, but I have stopped buying anything processed. If you can't pronounce it...you really don't want to eat it. It's just as important to read the ingredients list as it is the nutrition facts...sugar & sodium... Those 2 will get ya for sure. The small changes can really make a huge difference to start. Again, you may already do this, but make sure you're buying whole grain pasta, rice, and bread. The white stuff turns into sugar. My dad is the same way. Portion...oh please! I worry too. One thing you can do to help that is to buy smaller, white dinner plates.Which I need to tell my mom to do :) It's obviously psychological & really interesting too, but anyway! that will make a difference. Even if it's a small difference like the whole grain and NOTHING processed it all adds up to make a bigger differnce.
sorry if I sounded like I was on a soap box! I've just gotten very passionate about this topic in the last 6 months or so. Not sure what happened ;) I wish you all the best with this:)

5 moms found this helpful

Although I wear size 6 jeans I still want to be healthier. My husband on the other hand needed to loose weight. We are now watching what we eat together. It has been 6 weeks and my husband and I are completely off of sugar (except sugar found in fruit) and we have given up bread. Doing this together has been great. We also frequently exercise at the same time in our home gym. My husband is down 19 lbs I am down 7lbs:).
Can you tell him you want to get healthier together?

3 moms found this helpful

Is he getting enough protein during his meals to feel full?
- if yes, then he's raiding the fridge b/c he's bored and it's something to do. Or he's an emotional eater.
- if no - then give that man some more lean chicken!

And I do like the idea of having one food each meal that he can have an unlimited amount of (green beans, steamed carrots, etc).

If you are the grocery shopper - keep a variety of fruits and keep some veggies all cut up and ready to eat in the fridge in little homemade 'lunchables' type of containers. Red/Gold/Yellow bell pepper don't even need ranch dressing. They taste great on their own! Other than that, I'd say the biggest part will be for you to commend him when he does great. Or better yet, ask HIM what would help him. Maybe keep a jar by the fridge and every time he opens it he has to put in a quarter or for every lb he loses, you'll put $5 in a jar. I dunno. Just spouting off ideas.

2 moms found this helpful

My husband is the EXACT same way!
He was skinny skinny SKINNY when he was a kid.
He was literally a bottomless pit.
He used to eat so much as a kid at lunch at school, CPS was called to his home because the school thought his parents weren't feeding him! LOL

Now though, he still has the appetite, but not the skinny waist line :(

No portion control what so ever.
I have no idea how to help mine with this problem either :(
Looking forward to reading responses.

**My husband is very strong and gets lots of exercise, plays hockey, but he just eats too much.

1 mom found this helpful

I can't post my link but I sell a diet program that includes two meal replacements daily. You eat one healthy meal a day. Healthy snack bars are allowed in between meals. there is not much to think about and my husband is doing it right now. Message me if you want a link and wish to ask questions.

It's about portions, healthy choices and exercise.

Bottom Line: your husband has to choose what he wants. No diet will work unless the person wants it. I know you want this, but does your husband? I'm sorry to be so blunt, but sometimes losing weight is about control. If you nag, your husband may keep eating just to prove he can! So be very careful in your approach. Find out what your husband wants, help him to focus on it and ask HIM how you can help.

1 mom found this helpful

Oh, yes. I was the "skinny girl." Now, at 52 I'm gaining weight and I'm having a hard time stopping.

One thing that I did that cut down on the amount I was gaining was started taking my lunch to work rather than to buy lunch. There are a ton of frozen meals that make good lunches. You'd be surprised at how much weight you don't gain when you quit eating out.

Next, I try to limit my food consumption after dinner. For a long time, I could literally munch all night long on anything I wanted. Not anymore. Now I try to limit myself to one decent snack and then drink water. Water does help.

The last bit of advice is to walk daily. I don't mean a leisurely stroll - I'm talking power walk.

If you watch what you eat and do a good power walk daily you will lose weight.

Getting old sucks!!!~!!!!

1 mom found this helpful

First of all if he isn't sexy to you now, why do you think he will be sexy just because he loses weight? You experienced a loss through your dad's death, you had your own weight issues, now go love that guy to pieces and do not worry about this again. I think we can all agree that we feel less sexy if the feeling is transferred to us about our looks or weight. I know plenty of women who would love to cuddle a guy with a few extra pounds and I think that although it sounds noble, you evidently have to take a look at the man instead of what the package he's wrapped in is about. I have had up and down weight my entire life and I will tell you right now, the best thing to help him is to love him to pieces and leave it up to him. You already said your piece now let him work through this.

1 mom found this helpful

Is he suffering from depression? It might not be so much about his diet or portion control. It might be his reaction to stress. How are the finances? I'll bet he's a little off-balance in that department too. Does he have many friends?

I'll bet there's something bothering him. If he can address that issue (through therapy or just talking it out with friends) the weight will probably come off on its own. Good luck to you. It's hard to watch someone live an unhealthy lifestyle. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. As long as you are taking good care of yourself and making healthy food options available to him, that is pretty much all you can do.

1 mom found this helpful

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