Help Me Loose Weight

Updated on February 23, 2009
P.R. asks from New Fairfield, CT
20 answers

Since the birth of my baby ,my MIL put me on this Rice diet.I was only fed Rice and milk that's it .I breastfed my baby so I lost weight 25 pounds more than i put on (20 pounds).
Now after 9 months i stopped Breast feeding during the day and gained 20 pounds in 4 months. I am back to my normal food now.It's very hard even trying to give up anything.
Also my baby goes crazy when i'm not with her making it hard for me leave her with hubby and go out by myself.I feel stuck.

MIL was here for 4 months stuck with me.She came all the way from India to help DH when I delivered because he is woking and had to do the running (believe me this is what she said ,while I was delivering).We had nobody to care for our 1st daughter. After Delivary this Lady kept scaring saying if you eat anything you want & baby will be in trouble(because i was Breastfeeding). Well i had to fight for vegetables and then she would give me 3 tblspoons 3 days in a week. Well this lady did all the cooking and she kept me out of the kitchen.
My hubby either agreed with his mom or did'nt care what's happening with me. I was the only one caring for the baby at night and doing all the household chores,shopping.Hubby was at working 8.30 AM - 8PM and he slept peacefully in another room. It was a nightmare for me.

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

Thankyou for all the support. I've always been overweight since child hood ,but had few success in battle of bulge.
I lost 40 pounds before marraige,trying to do it again. I am trying to be active , I went out for a walk 25 mins uphill I was breathing hard. Danced & played with my kids it was fun 15 mins. Ate a Big piece of my Birthday Cake. Right now trying to stick to walking. Portion controll is very hard for me. I loose control with sugar , trying to not get anything sweet or cook anything sweet for the next month ,let see how it goes. I am a vegetarian and I cook everyday . Trying to eat lots of soup & very little rice at night. And yes drinking lots of water trying to replace coffee,I was never a soda person.

Have to convince hubby to care for the baby. He is good with the 5 yr old but does'nt do a thing with little one.
His words " I work Outside the House you are Responsible Inside the House" . I am very bad asking for help.I'd rather do everything ,when he is putting off things.

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I.J.

answers from New York on

Hi P. - We all tend to need to loose some weight now and then. Arbonne has a great weight lose system. I have lost 14lbs in less than eight weeks. You can go on their website .com or give me a call and I'll help you get started in the right direction. We also have a way to get 20% off the products, plus specials. Phone ###-###-####. Arbonne can ship anywhere in the US and several other countries. Be in touch and good luck with whatever decision and direction you decide to go. Warm regards, I. ID#17222859

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D.S.

answers from New York on

Don't feel stuck there are many things you can do. First, if the baby is having a hard time letting you leave then bundle her up and take a walk with the stroller. It will be good for both of you. You will get exercise and the baby will get fresh air. That was how I lost all of my baby weight by walking. Also have you thought about weight watchers? It is a great plan and realistic for everyday living. Most gyms have free babysitting so maybe if daddy doesn't want to hear her cry going to a gym may help so she can learn to be with others and you can workout as well. Good luck!!

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A.B.

answers from New York on

Pardon me for asking, but why are you taking your dietary advice from your MIL? Rice and milk? No vegetables, fruit, nuts or seeds? It sounds like you have thrown off the balance of your body's metabolism. Before you start Weight Watchers, you ought to see a nutritionist. Your doctor can give you a recommendation.

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L.L.

answers from New York on

First off, try not to sweat the weight so much! I feel like we have so much pressure on us at it is, that worrying about our weight only adds more problems. But since you seem so concerned about it, you could take the baby for 30-45 min walks during the day? I dropped all of my baby weight by walking after my son was born. I also cut out "white food" and switched to whole grain only. That's made a huge difference. And drink a lot of water. It's so good for you.

As far as the baby getting upset when you leave, you just have to tough it out and let her cry. She needs to get used to being with her Daddy, and you are entitled to breaks also. Since she is a year old now, your husband should be able to find something fun to entertain her while you're gone.

Good luck!! And please try not to stress the weight thing so much! Try to relax and do a little daily exercise, it'll come off.

Lynsey

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H.P.

answers from New York on

If it's hard to leave your baby to get exercise, bring her with you!! Do you have a jog stroller? Take her jogging! Or even just on long walks. If you are near a hill, pushing the stroller up the hill is amazing exercise. When I had my twins, I used to take them for walks all the time (they were summer babies) and we live on a steep hill, so pushing the double snap n go up that hill was the best exercise I can imagine!!

When I had my first child, I took a strollercize class in NYC (in Central Park). It was amazing. We ran with our strollers (any kind - not necessarily a jog stroller), did lunges, squats, etc... Don't know where you live but I know they have some kind of stroller class like that in the Westchester mall in the mornings....

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H.G.

answers from New York on

That diet sounds terrible! And not good for you or your baby! Of course you've gained the weight back- you're eating real food, and your body is storing it in case of another food strike! How frustrating for you!

We all know what this is like. It's really hard to eat well, especially with a baby. It's just not the same priority, and I personally LOVE to eat. And big portions, too!

There's no secret to losing weight, even though I'm terrible about this. Eat smaller portions of healthy food, and exercise every day. Maybe get a treadmill to walk/run on while the baby is napping? And try to make a ton of healthy food to have in the fridge, for when you want to snack. Egg/tuna/chicken salad with fat-free mayo and egg whites, lots of cut up veggies, hummos, low fat treats (pudding, etc.), rice cakes, fruit fruit fruit!

I'm trying to stop eating baby leftovers too. Chicken fingers and peanut butter sandwiches are not good for mamas! :)

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D.B.

answers from New York on

I so understand the delimma... I discovered a website called sparkpeople.com super support group online, all sorts of things on there.. goood luck. if you join let me know, I will link you to my page as friends... not quite sure, I haven't done alot with it yet, still new.. but it looks very cool

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M.B.

answers from New York on

Losing weight takes dedication. You need to eat healthy meals, balanced meals. My husband was a bodybuilder and the diet we stick to is Grilled chicken (forman grill makes it very simple)steamed veggies and a potato or yam. Rice sometimes, but make it brown. It is not a "fun" diet but it works. You can eat unlimited amounts and it will not make you gain weight. If you want to eat a steak every once in a while that is fine too, just stick to a serving size about the palm of your hand. Fish as well. You can eat salads and fruits as well, but oil and vinegar dressing. No heavy dressings, that's where all the fat is. When I want a sweet I eat oranges, grapes, blueberries and Edy's friut bars, all very satisfying. You must work out! I understand the hubby situation but he has become more involved for your sake. The children will get used to being w/ him for a little while a few times a week I PROMISE!! Do not stress too much because he is their father. Don't let that be your excuse!
I have a 21 month old girl and a 3 1/2 mo old girl. I have not gone to the gym in a year! My youngest is too young to go in the daycare at the gym so my husband offered to stay home w/ them in the AM so I can go before he goes to work. I know what you mean when you say you feel stuck! But you have to find a way to feel unstuck so you don't lose your mind or YOURSELF! It is so hard but I promise the first time you walk out that door and come back you will feel renewed, refreshed and you will be a much happier person and therefore an even better Mom than I'm sure you already are! If you don't take care of you no one else will!! Good luck! God Bless!
P.S. I did the same exact thing w/ our first baby as far as being responsible for EVERYTHING! I slept w/ our first until the night my water broke w/ our second. Of course I slept in a separate room as well so he would not be disturbed at all! He NEVER changed a diaper, gave a bath, fed her. When I say he did NOTHING I mean it. But for my second it is a whole new ball game. He is so much more involved because I made it clear that these are his kids too and if he wants to be involved in their lives when they are older he needs to be involved now as well. Sit down w/ your husband and make him see that it would do so much for you, for your marriage and for his relationship w/ his children if he was more involved. My hubby owns his own contracting co, works 7 days a week, 10-13 hrs a day. There is always a way to find time if they are willing to make the effort! Good luck!

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B.P.

answers from New York on

I am so sorry you had to go through that!!! Not only were you trying to take care of yourself and the baby but you had to deal with someone who cleary did not know what she was talking about. I am confused...why rice and milk? You are supposed to eat a well balanced diet to keep both you and the baby healthy...sounds like you were malnourished and that definetly threw your body into a chaotic mode. Try to stay as active as possible. With 2 littles ones, that shouldn't be a problem. Eat small meals and often, sometimes 4 or 5 times a day. Cut out sugar unless it is fresh fruit. When you do eat carbs, make sure its whole grain. Also, eat lightly when it close to bedtime and no alcohol. Your body will, in time, go back to where its supposed to be. I would also have a frank discussion with your husband, the stress you feel is also contributing to your weight gain and difficult weight loss.

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N.P.

answers from New York on

We all can relate to the post baby want to lose weight! My 2nd is almost 9 months and I finally got serious about losing some of the left over weight. I am a huge advocate for Weight Watchers. Before having my first child, I lost 25 pounds on WW and have lost 4.2 in 2 weeks now. I would recommend going to their website and find a meeting in your area. I was able to find a mommy and me meeting where I can bring both my kids and it makes a big difference. I have gotten to meet other moms like me who are struggling. It works I promise! It won't take it off fast like a fad diet but will last and will help you develop healthy eating habits. Good luck!!!

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F.A.

answers from New York on

The best way to lose weight and keep it off is not to cut out whole groups of food or just eat one type of thing, as when you stop doing that you put it on again. You need to really look hard at what you are eating and how much and work out where your particular problems are, as everyone's weak spots are different. Then work out what you can do about those things without feeling like you are missing out all the time.
For example, I realised that my morning latte and muffin were adding up to nearly 1000 calories at a time, so I started eating more at breakfast then I could go all morning and not eat the latte and muffin. Also I have a sweet tooth, so I let myself have a few squares of dark chocolate after dinner so I was still getting a taste of something sweet without all the calories of a dessert.
I also found one important thing was to not eat between meals and to make something special of a meal so I was sitting down properly, not in front of the TV, and really savoring my food and not just swallowing it without tasting it. I could then eat less but really take pleasure in what I was eating.
I also stopped eating processed foods and made sure I was cooking from scratch with lots of vegetables and lean protein.
I lost over 30 pounds that way and have kept it off nealy 3 years later.
Good luck

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A.P.

answers from New York on

You should not diet while breastfeeding--you and your child need a healthy balanced diet. Now that you are no longer breastfeeding, YOU still need a healthy, well-balanced diet. And anytime you go on a restricted diet like that (especially one food only--rice diet, cabbage diet, etc.), you are going to gain the weight back, sometimes more, as soon as you start eating regular foods again.

I would see a nutritionist, or join weight watchers to learn how to safely lose the weight. As far as your baby missing you, it's normal at this age for them to go through some separation anxiety. Try to work with that if you can--that way it will resolve in its own time, instead of getting worse. Can you go out after she's in bed or napping?

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K.H.

answers from Albany on

First..
Any diet that is that restricting will cause you to gain weight later because you are increasing your calories.
I gained weight when I stopped nursing as well because I wasn't burning as many calories and I feel like I'm constantly eating too!
I started trying to make time for exercise- very hard to do and substiting some healthy snacks for bad ones.
Remember that when you were nursing you were doubling your calorie output so now all those calories have no where to go but your hips! :)
Be easy on yourself. You had a baby, there's adjusting to do. You are probably tired and busy and don't have much time to worry about exercise and diet!
Just try to be GOOD to yourself. When it's nice out, go for a walk with the kids or take them to the mall walking, when you can, rest (it actually helps promote weight loss), drink more water, eat more fruits and veggies and give it time.
:)

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A.G.

answers from New York on

OK First, a rice and milk diet only tricks your body for so long and doesn't give you needed nutrients!

Second, talk to your doctor. It might not be what you eat as much as a chemical problem in your body caused from the "diet". Ask them to check your thyroid too!

Third, Your baby will servive to be left with Dad for a time. Start now with short times with Dad and build it up. It will only get harder as baby gets older. Dad may not do things like you but it's OK! We all need time to ourselves and taking some is NOT WRONG!!!!! Now that baby is not breast feeding make sure Dad knows what to feed and out you go. I use to feel guilty just taking a shower but finally realized that it is HIS BABY TOO!!! I am NOT a single parent and baby Dad time too. I am pregnant with our 3rd child and make a point to go to lunch with friends once in a while (I'm over due for that but have been grocery shopping without the 2 /2 yo a few times - also a treat!)

Congratulations on baby!!! Just don't forget you need you time and DON'T feel guilty!!! A.

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S.G.

answers from New York on

I eat meal replacements bars for lunch.(Attain Bars from Melaleuca )
Weight watchers will also help... the point system is great so you can eat your own food.To get exercise just take the baby with you for walks and stuff so you are together but are also getting the activity youneedm

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T.O.

answers from New York on

P.,

Well you have actually accomplished part of the hard part, stating that you need or want to loose weight. Next you have to make the decision to do it. I'm a Shaklee Independent Distributor. Shaklee is a 52 year old natural health and wellness company. Our products are third party tested and scientifically proven to work. We have an inch loss program called Cinch that can help if you would like to take a look at it. It is an inch loss progam and a nutrition program. It does have components that curb cravings and it also has been proven to help people with diabetes, lower high blood pressure, lower cholesterol and stabilize blood sugars. The plan has amino acids that help you retain your muscle (muscle = metabolism) so you loose your fat. The yo-yo- dieting stops. Shaklee has a 100% money back guarantee on all of its products as well.

If you want more info please e-mail me and I'll give you my number to talk. Also my website is below.
www.myfitlifestylestore.com

Good luck
T.

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D.C.

answers from New York on

Overeaters Anonymous helped me lose weight, and helped with the mental issues as well (stress, etc.). Go to http://www.oa.org to find a meeting in your area. And it's free, too! Good luck.

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M.E.

answers from New York on

Losing weight has been my biggest obstacle since the birth of my daughter....WHO'S THREE NOW! I gained a tremendous amount of weight during my pregnancy. Tremendous as in 50 lbs!!! Somehow, I lost 30 lbs in the beginning but the last 20 lbs are still here.

I've been looking for motivation to get me going and I think I'm a little closer after reading your post. So, thank you for putting it out there.

I'm a huge fan of weight watchers and they even have a "bring your toddler along" meeting (at least here in Greenlawn they do). These are some of the things I've learned from WW and have brought me success in the past:

1. PORTION CONTROL. Use a smaller dinner plate and half the plate should be a vegetable, 1/3 a carb and the remaining 1/3 a protein. Of course, if you're into measuring - that's even better.

2. WHOLE GRAIN/NATURAL FOODS. Always go for the multi-grain or while grain. Rule of thumb - eat less of the white stuff (pasta, rice, potatoes, bread). Are you feeling that THAT'S EVERYTHING? It's not. You can get all of these is a more natural state. My family loves the Barilla multi-grain pasta and we buy (Rice King) brown rice (I think hubby picks this up from a Japanese market). You get the idea.

3. WATER. Of all the diets out there, this is the ONE thing (exercise I guess being the other one thing, lol) that they ALL suggest. There are a LOT of wasted calories in soda and juice. Water is really the way to go.

4. MOVING. The hardest of them all, in my opinion. But, yo have to move. Get your body going. Take walks when you can. If the weather permits, take your daughter. Park far from your destination so you can sneak in some walking. I've never doen this but you could even walk around the inside of the mall!

Well, this is it for me. I'll be watching your post for other ideas that maybe I can incorporate too. Good luck.

~M.

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J.D.

answers from New York on

Weight Watchers and exercise. I've always found those to be the best things to do - they are healthy and promote healthy weight loss. Weight Watchers is not restrictive but it it does require being prepared for the week with the right foods so you don't get to off track, however if you do, its no big deal. I love that exercise ties into it nicely too, if you exercise you get bonus points, kind of motivational! ; ) You can go to meetings, you can sign up online or you can purchase at at home kit. I love it.

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S.G.

answers from Rochester on

Sorry, but who is your MIL to tell you what to eat/not to eat, and put you on a diet? That is very unhealthy for both you and your baby that you were breastfeeding. Anybody SHOULD know it is bad news to go on a diet like that....especially when you are pregnant and/or breastfeeding.

Just eat normal. Watch your portions. Eat what your baby eats (which should be lots of vegetables and fruits). Take your baby out in her stroller and walk when you can. Its good for both you and baby. That's all you can do :)

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