41 answers

Help Me!! - Garden Grove,CA

Ok I have 3 great kiddos. Two girls and one boy. My boy is oldest and just turned 8. For the longest time they all shared a room by choice and the other bedroom was a playroom. I switched my son over to his own room about a year ago and every since it has been a DAILY struggle. My son constantly begs to sleep with the girls and makes the argument that he is the only one in the house that has to sleep alone. Well, he does have a point so I have been inconsistent and have let him sleep with them probably a few times a week on average with the exception of the last few weeks because I have been trying to "buckle down." I understand that I have created this problem because I have not been consistent. But I can't get past the battle in my head which revolves around the fact of, "Is it fair that I am making him sleep alone?" I know a lot of people say he "shouldn't" be sleeping with his little sisters anymore (who are 6 and 3 btw) which is why I moved him to his bed in the first place.... because "people" said it was wrong that they were in the same room. SO do I just make him tough it out and force him to sleep alone? I have been making him sleep alone for the last 2 weeks and he still is not falling asleep until almost an hour-hour and a half after we put him to bed and is crying in bed nightly. It breaks my heart but at the same time, I think, is he too old? When is he going to sleep by himself then? On the other side, I think, Do I like to sleep alone? Why DOES he have to be the only one who sleeps alone? Ugh... help me mamas!

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

I have a friend with the same situation as you. They moved their son (middle child) into his own room, but he would regularly go back to his sisters' room and sleep on the floor. So they put three twin beds in there and the extra bedroom ended up being a playroom of sorts.

When he was 10 he decided he didn't want to room with his sisters anymore. My friend didn't care what anybody thought. Her kids her business. You should do what you want and tell the busybodies to go to h..... I'm so sick of everybody trying to force their views on other people.

5 moms found this helpful

I don't see a problem. If he wants to be with his sisters and his sisters want him there too, then let them be. You should be HAPPY that all the siblings want to be together and get along. This is their time to bond and be there for each other.
Trust me, when it gets "awkward" for him, he will leave on his own. He is still a kid!

3 moms found this helpful

I would let him sleep with his sisters. He sounds like such a sweet boy. By the way, my parents had me and my brother sleeping in the same room till I was 14 and he was 16. I hated it so much because he was a terror back then, that I finally moved to the living room myself and slept on pull-out couch with a metal bar in my back. I totally would not have minded sleeping in the same room with my brother if he was not a terror and he was a friend. As long as he wants to be with his sisters and his sister wants to be with him, then let them bond and have fun.

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

If the kids are all ok with it, let them sleep in the same room. Honestly, I don't get people that see something creepy about this. Screw these people.

Your kiddos are young, they're not going through puberty, there is no issue. Especially if they're not even sharing a bed. Let them have their fun together - turn the room into a playroom. He'll probably want his own room in another couple of years and then you can make the transition with little stress.

8 moms found this helpful

I say let them share. Why not? He is still little and soon enough he won't want to. My oldest is a boy and youngest two are girls..... All very close and best friends.... If they wanted to share a room I would be all for it! I think it is great that be is close with his sisters. It seems like from your post that thus is causing you all stress.... Tune into your heart and go for what is right for your family instead of worrying about what "people say"....good luck!

7 moms found this helpful

I think you should do what YOU think is best for your family and not spend another second worrying about what other people think.
This is what I would do if I thought it was best for him to sleep in his own room, like you did, try to transition him, couple nights alone, a couple nights with the girls. If he has been sharing with someone for 6 years, its going to be tough. I would try baby steps first.
This is what I would do if I thought it was best for him to share a room. Let him sleep with them and dont care what other people think. :)
Do whats you think is best. The "people" telling you what to do are not his mom and you know him better than anyone else does. Why someone would feel the need to tell a mother how her kids should be sleeping is beyond me.

Everytime I take the baby to the pediatrician for a check-up, they always ask me if shes sleeping in her own bed. Although she does sleep in her own bed, its right next to my bed. Im not sure how the conversation would go if I told them she does sleep with me, and personally, I dont care what they would say. IM her mom.

7 moms found this helpful

Your children are so young... I do not know who put an idea in your head that it is wrong for them to sleep in the same room... When they are ready to separate - they will beg you for a separate space, trust me. If they are happy together - indulge them. I do not see anything harmful in your kids sharing a room.

5 moms found this helpful

I can't even judge. It sucks. Not because you are doing anything mean or wrong but because you understand how he feels. You feel that he is genuinely upset and you feel bad because it's like you are disregarding that.

I think it's good for him to be in his own room and have his own space and in 3 or 4 years he's going to be grateful for it. In the meantime you have to figure out how to help him appreciate the space. Right now he feels banned, but it's a matter of perspective.

We hung Christmas tree lights up around our daughter's room so it was dim but not dark. We painted the walls the color she chose and put murals on it. We made it pretty and princessy and all of a sudden it was her kingdom. You could do the same thing in a boy way for your son. Let him pick out the color for the walls and let him help paint it. Put up lights or get one of those spinning light thingies that puts the solar system up on your walls. Get him a fish tank with colorful fish and the drone of the filter. Put posters up of the things that he loves. Make it a place he wants to be. Spend 20 minutes a night with him in his room after he has lain down to go to bed. He gets you all to himself.

It's not about whether he has to sleep alone. There was a time when the kids all slept in the same room and in the same bed. It's about helping him learn to appreciate his space and be comfortable on his own.

5 moms found this helpful

I have a friend with the same situation as you. They moved their son (middle child) into his own room, but he would regularly go back to his sisters' room and sleep on the floor. So they put three twin beds in there and the extra bedroom ended up being a playroom of sorts.

When he was 10 he decided he didn't want to room with his sisters anymore. My friend didn't care what anybody thought. Her kids her business. You should do what you want and tell the busybodies to go to h..... I'm so sick of everybody trying to force their views on other people.

5 moms found this helpful

I think letting him still sleep with his siblings is fine, he'll want his own space soon enough!

4 moms found this helpful

I don't feel that it's unfair have your son sleep in his own room, but, I also don't feel that it's "wrong" to let your son sleep in the same room as his sisters. They are just little kids. My children are close friends as well. My son, who is 9, has his own room, but on Fridays & Saturdays he has the option to sleep in his own room or sleep on the trundle in his sisters' room. The girls are 7 years old and 2 years old. (The reason we only allow it on the weekends is because we want to ensure they are getting a good nights rest and not playing around.) You should do what works best for your family and not concern yourself with what anyone else thinks. Best wishes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ETA: In response to Julie L's comment: There may be some kids who are raised in a sexually charged environment and know about sex and may try experimenting, so their parents would do well to set a boundary the prevents opposite genders from being in the same room for extended periods of time unsupervised. My children, however, are not raised in such an environment or in such a way. My assumption is that A.'s are not raised in such an environment either or she wouldn't consider allowing her son to sleep in his sister's room. There are a good many of us who believe in allowing kids to be kids as long as possible because childhood is for a short while once adulthood is achieved it will last for the rest of their lives.
Also, Julie's comment is contradictory to say that a boy of 9 (which is my son's age not the poster's son) shouldn't be allowed to sleep in the same room with any girls, but she then states that children as young as 12 will experiment with sex. Well, if it's happening only as young as 12 then anyone under that should be fine... Correct? Anyway, this is a matter of parents knowing their children and doing what works for their family.

4 moms found this helpful

1 / 3
Required Fields

Our records show that we already have a Mamapedia or Mamasource account created for you under the email address you entered.

Please enter your Mamapedia or Mamasource password to continue signing in.

Required Fields

, you’re almost done...

Since this is the first time you are logging in to Mamapedia with Facebook Connect, please provide the following information so you can participate in the Mamapedia community.

As a member, you’ll receive optional email newsletters and community updates sent to you from Mamapedia, and your email address will never be shared with third parties.

By clicking "Continue to Mamapedia", I agree to the Mamapedia Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy.