September 15, 2008,
S.L. asks from Sachse, TX on August 26, 2008
HELP Kindergartener Acting up at School
My son has been in kindergarten 1 1/2 days so far, and his behavior has not been good. He had a rough first day, understandable, but his teacher informed me today, that he and another boy disrupted music class the entire time. He has been in daycare for years, and knows better. Is he just trying to adjust to the new setting? Anyone have any suggestions for punishment? Sometimes taking away video games, activities, etc works but not always.
So What Happened?™
Well we are more than 4 weeks into the school year, and my kindergarteners behavior has gotten worse at school. He has only gotten green once this week, yellow/red the rest. I've tried talking to him about it calmly, he doesn't get video games, he's been refused several activities, and even being spanked hasn't worked. I am in constant contact with his teacher, whom I know personally very well and she is surprised by the behavior. He has gotten in trouble in his class, in music, PE, Library AND computers. I am at my wits end.
C.E. answers from Dallas on September 15, 2008
My son will be going to kindergarten next year and am already dreading it. He is a good kid, but hyperactive, impulsive and strong willed. Lethal mixture. Right now he is in PreK 4 and what has been working is having a lot of structure and consistency in dealing with misbehavior. Both at home and at school he gets timeout and I have also taken away things like watching TV after school or having his favorite Popsicle. I also stress out to him that good behavior is what is expected and can be rewarded; however bad behavior is not tolerated and there will be consequences. Saying all this I really think your child is going through a phase. He might feel overwhelmed by the change of going to kindergarten and does not know how to handle it. Try and talk to him very casually about how he feels. I find sometimes that bedtime is a good time to do so. The child is more relaxed and possibly ready to listen to you. I hope this helps.
K.G. answers from Dallas on August 26, 2008
If he went to school last year and did not have issues-- this poor behavior should not be exceptable...
Take rewards away/ playdate at friends house/TV/video games for a day or two days until good behavior returns and needs to be earned back...
try an incentive chart/calendar for every day he gets a good report from the teacher he gets a sticker and after 5-10 stickers he can pick his favorite meal playdate with a friend/ or get a small prize...
does the teacher have a "color' system at school any kind of behavior chart?
Last year my daughters teacher had a color behavior system.
BLUE EXCELLENT DAY
YELLOW 1st warning
Orange 2nd warning
RED-- sent to principal's office (major offense hitting/constantly disruptive.
The kiddos started out of GREEN every day can can move up or down depending on their good behavior.
you could try it home too. so even if he gets intro trouble and is on yellow he can try and earn his way back up to green/blue.
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K.N. answers from Dallas on August 26, 2008
This is a big change, even though he has been in daycare. Maybe something like, everyday that you get in trouble at school, no tv with dinner. You have to start somewhere. Good luck!
C.D. answers from Dallas on August 27, 2008
Have you asked him why he is misbehaving at school? Maybe start talking to him about his day will help. The reason I asked this is because my nephew did the same thing when he started school. We found out that the other child that was acting out with him, he thought was cool and made the other kids laugh and he liked the attention.
I was a kindergarten teacher for some time. School just started, he still has to adjust to the environment, but at the same time he needs to be accountable for his actions. I agree with the idea of taking away activities, games that he enjoys. Just don't ignore the situation and it sounds like you're not.
As for the teacher, I know you want to hear daily reports, but sometimes not so good reports can add to the frustration with your little one as well. Discuss the not so good and the good with your child. No parent or child wants to hear the teacher give bad reports about academics or behavior.
Just be consistent with him, he will get the picture.