I know just how you feel, it might be a good idea if he were moved to another teacher's class. I am wondering how many children are in that classroom. Probably too many, and that would make her be more impatient. Teachers have a lot of pressure on them nowadays, and that could be a part of it too.
If I were you, I would get him into another class,right away, and let it be known to the principal and the teacher that you think that he should repeat the First Grade. Then settle into an accepted pattern at home that this will happen. If you let him go on like things are going now, and do not hold him back, you will be extremely sorry. This many years later, I wish that I had held my son back from even going to Kindergarten the first year that he was eligible. Boys need a bit more time to mature, yes, it sounds like the teacher is right about that. It is o.k., that is just the way boys are lots of times.
Give him a chance in life and hold him back. He is going to run into a lot of situations in the years that come that will demand patience and maturity, so let him have this extra year. Next year he will be a leader in the new First Grade class, he will be familiar with the routine of First Grade and will gain a lot of confidence and maturity along the way.
I wish that there were a way that you could let me know how this turns out. ____@____.com
I just reread the last part of your letter and realized that the other classes are full, maybe you could talk it over with the principal and take him out of school for the rest of this year, and get him into preschool. I realize that the school year is almost over, so it would just be for a little while. You can do a good job of explaining it to your son, so that it looks like this is the very best idea for him, and tell him that you have given it lot of thought, etc. The principal may or may not agree. It is just a suggestion, because it sounds to me like this is a very unhappy school year for him. You want him to love school, and if he goes to the second grade with this hard first year behind him, he may not do well. Good luck, again.
Keep in mind that having ADHD is NOT an easy life now or in the future. He needs skilly to be able to manage his own behavior. My grandson diagnosed his own ADHD before the school did, and then they did nothing to help him. I know, sad, but true.
Sincerely, C. N.