Help I Need Some Advice - Fort Worth,TX

My two oldest boys were the exact same way. I took care of them 24/7, so they never wanted anyone but me. I even had them with me in the bathroom. Especially my oldest one. My littles one is 2 and he is that way a little bit. He mostly wants me, but sometimes will let his two older brothers help him. I know it can be hard sometimes, but trust me it is worth it. My 2 older ones are now almost 11 and 8 and they are very independent and secure individuals. I believe that is in big part because they always knew I would be there for them. It will get better. As far as walking, she will start when she is ready. Is she pulling herself up on anything yet or crusing along furniture? She is still young. My boys didn't walk until a year or 13 months. Good luck

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My son had absolutely no interest in walking until after his first birthday. I didn't rush him. My other son was walking by 10 months. I didn't stop him. They are both adults and walk just fine! Try not to worry, or hurry.

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My daughter did the same thing. She would cry if I even took a couple steps away from her sometimes. We would leave her with my parents every now and then since she was comfortable with them. She would cry for a few minutes after I left, but would stop and was fine until I returned. It was hard to leave her crying, but my husband and I need some adult time every now and then.

I just recently went back to work and she cried for about 2 weeks when I would drop her off at daycare. Now she is fine and seems to enjoy going and being with the other kids.

As far as walking goes, just let her go at her own pace. She is not behind schedule. My daughter didn't start walking until 15 months. Now that she can walk it is hard to get her to sit still to do anything. Every kids is different and will walk on their own schedule. The doctor won't even consider it a problem until about 16-18months.

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Maybe you could join mom's day out; make an effort to leave her with someone that is capable at least 2x a week so that she can get used to being in someone elses care. Regarding the walking. Both my kids did not start walking until 15 months; so you have some time. However, we used those push toys when they started standing up to give them something to hold on and that helped to encourage them to walk. Honestly, we really didn't do much it kind of comes naturally. Once they start walking you won't be able to sit down again for a long time; so be careful what you asked for. Good luck!!

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Try to have short moments to get her used to it. Like, give her to hubby and go take a shower...you won't hear her yell and you'll be done in 10 minutes. Once that starts to work, then you can leave to go to get gas or something and then come back. She needs to know you'll return. Also, 10 months old is just a time of separation anxiety. She will outgrow it, she will get better and you need to demand your time away...so, she might cry. If you know you are leaving her in good hands, then try to focus on the fact that it's more important for you to have time away than for her to have you with her...not always, but sometimes!

As for walking, just give her opportunities to stand and cruise (walk while holding on to things). I always found the walking toys good too - the ones they stand, hold on to, and push/walk behind.

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As I learned with my girls and my daughter is now learning with hers, your baby may cry when you leave her but it probably won't last but a couple of minutes at most. Just be sure you're leaving her in a good situation, hand her over and leave as quickly as possible. The longer you hang around and watch and show your anxiety, the more she'll learn that she can control you.

You have to have some time to yourself in order to be healthy and rested enough to take care of her!

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I know this is scary but it will pass. My daughter did this for the first 13 months of her life. I finally ended up going to an exercise class that offered baby sitting and made her stay with the ladies for an hour while I was in the same building. The sitters were real sports to do this but it took about 6 weeks and she got over it. It will pass, it is just a pain while she works through her issues.

She likely has a very introverted personality and right now only loves her Mommy. My daughter was quiet all through school and today I talk to her at least once a day by phone. However, she can get up a do a presentation in front of co-workers and is quite talented in many areas. You will have to make sure you prepare her for new things and help her through the adjustment to new events and changes, but she will grow out of it, just be patient.

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If you have someone you trust that is willing to help you work with her, then you can leave her with them for short periods of time. Gradually lengthen the amount of time as you think that she and you are able to handle it. Eventually, she will realize that you will return, and she won't get so upset. Note to that: I am not sure how long that will take. It is different for each child. I have five children soon to be six, some of them adjusted quickly with this method, and some took a good bit longer. As for walking... Give her things to pull up on, and toys that she can learn to push. However, the youngest that any of mine walked was 12 months. I would not let it bother you if she does not walk right away. We thought for sure that our daughter was going to walk at 10 months, and she held out till 14 months, because crawling was more familiar and faster. If you have concerns, you can get her hearing checked. We had one child that had fluid in his ears (from ear infections) and thus balance issues, he did not walk until he was 16 months old. Praying.

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My middle daughter was very clingy. Broke my mother's heart, that her granddaughter didn't want anything to do with her. Didn't want the pediatrician to look at her. Didn't want anybody. It didn't last. I can't remember when, but she is 5 now and just fine.

As for walking, they walk when they are ready. I have one that took her first steps at 8 1/2 months and another that waited until he was almost 14 months to walk.

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I have a 9 month old now that does the exact same thing. Now my mom comes over to watch him and he hated that in the beginning but now he got used to her. I just left him with her with a bottle and she tried to keep him occupied(play, walks). The first week was really hard but it eventually gets better. Some days are also better then others. As for the walking,she will eventually learn on her own. Don't pressure her. My first son decided all of a sudden at 11 months to get up and start running!Good luck!

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You have a perfectly normal daughter. While I do believe children(above 2) should learn to play on their own, I think a baby should be held as much as they need to be. I think pushing her away is only going to make her more upset and want to be with you even more. Having your child with you is just a part of being a mother and if she doesn't want to be with her dad then he isn't spending enough time with her, in my opinion. Both my children have always been as close to me as they are to their dad because we share all the parts of childrearing. It has never been just me doing everything. That isn't fair nor is it healthy for the child. Of course, my husband works all day while I stay home, but as soon as work is over, he steps in his dad role. He plays with them, helps with dinner, helps with baths and always puts our youngest to sleep. Maybe if your husband took over something like her bath or bedtime for a while, she would be more willing to go to him anytime you need some time to yourself.

Se'll walk when she's ready.

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I really feel your pain! My daughter not only had and still has to a point stranger anxiety, she also had extreme colic. Well, it turns out that some medicine I was taking while breastfeeding may have contributed. Also, she is now 2 1/2 and has a very strong personality and knows what she wants. Anyhow, the dr thought she might have bad reflux even though she didn't spit up very much. She was supposed to sleep as upright as possible. Therefore I slept with her in a recliner. We went to a specialist and no reflux, but she continued sleeping with me until she turned a yr old and I about had a breakdown. I was so tired and stressed from being with her all the time and not getting a break. My mom was the only person she would stay with and she would cry with her too. It was exhausting!
At 18 mos, I put her in mother's day out. It has helped her tremendously. She would only stay for an hr for about a month, then 2, then 3. Finally the second half of the year she stayed the whole time. She is still very cautious of strangers which is good, but she is not terrified of family now. I really think leaving her at mother's day out helped her a lot. And ignore anyone who tells you that you are spoiling her. That is a bunch of bull! You are a loving mother doing a great job! And since you stay at home with her too, she is going to be more comfortable with you than your husband. That is just natural and it will get better. It still hurts my husband's feelings sometimes that she doesn't always want to go to him, but it has gotten a lot better. Kids go through phases a lot too and this too shall pass. Just make sure you are taking care of yourself too. And I had to take my little girl to the bathroom with me as well. Sounds like your daughter might just be strong willed like my daughter which is a good quality to have. I'm sure we will appreciate it when they are older, at least I hope. Good luck and send me a message if you need to talk. I'm surprised you could even get on the computer. Hang in there!

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