HELP !! I Can't Get My Daughter to Poop in the Potty !!

Updated on February 08, 2008
J.D. asks from Sunbury, PA
9 answers

She is 3 1/2 years old and she pretty much pees in the potty , all the time. And she has pooped a couple of time . But it seems like she's afraid to do it . I have a little potty and she uses the big potty . Just need some good idea , on how to get her not to be afraid of pooping potty . thanks ,, and have a great week ,,jess

UPDATE !!! SHE POOPED POTTY TONIGHT !! I AM SO EXCITED !!
AND SHE DID IT ALL BY HERSELF !! TWO DAY AND COUNTING !!
THANKS EVERYBODY !!

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E.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

Yes, what worked for us was a reward system. We went out shopping and she picked out a few little toys. We had them in a closed box by the toilet. She knew they were there. When she pooped in the potty..she got a reward! Fortunately, for us, this system worked fantastically. Good luck!

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A.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Have you offered her rewards for pooping on the potty? Promise to take her somewhere special that she loves to go or buy her a special prize. This worked with my boys AND my dog!!

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A.B.

answers from Lancaster on

I'm glad you brought this subject up. We are having the same problem with my almost 3 year old. He actually went 6 days without going. We had to go to the doctor and they started him on a laxative and fiber, which doesn't allow him to hold it back for 3 months to see if it works.
I feel for you. Our little one is scared to sit and pooh on the potty. Good luck.

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K.B.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I dont have any advice just empathy. My daughter is 5 and 1/2 and she still refuses to poo in the potty. Now though its she is refusing to poo at all. We have been through constaption. Her ped suggested her asking for a diaper which worked for awhile but now she has decided herself that she no longer wants to poo. We are just trying to work with her to poo. We have explained that everyone has to poo. My daughter has peed in the potty since she was 2 and 1/2 but never has poo'ed. I know how frustrating it is. Hopefully your daughter wont take as long as mine. Just hang in there be consistant and patient. I know its easier said than done.

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T.C.

answers from Harrisburg on

J.,

My son did the same thing...would go just fine (tinkle) in the potty, but not the poop. And, he had gone once, so I knew he could do it. I know they say that it can be "scary" for them to go poop, but this is what I did and I swear, I felt like a heel for doing it but within 1 weeks time (I think really 3-4 times of pooping in his pants) he was trained.

** I would ask and take him regularly to the potty. If he pooped in his pants, I would go into the bathroom w/him and have HIM rinse them out in the toilet (of course they can't do it all, but it's really just the fact that they have to do it at all). He looked up at me with his sad face and said I don't want to do this and I calmly said well, neither do I and until you can go like a big boy, you will be rinsing out your undies. It didn't take long!

I also rewarded him and gave him a geotrax toy that he wanted really bad....but I had also told him that if he pooped his pants, that I would take it back...he could only keep it if he was a "big" boy.

Best of luck!!

37 y.o. mom of 3 boys 11,9, and 4. Married 13+ years and work full time in healthcare and sell southern living at home for fun!

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V.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

Before anything else, has something happened recently in your/her life that may be causing anxiety? When my oldest was just starting to go on the potty we moved. This set her back, she rebounded with peeing .. but not with pooping .. that took a lot longer! Maybe you could set up her potty and have a relaxing atmosphere with her fav music, fav toys .. and she only gets them when she goes on the potty. It is frustrating, but if you make a huge issue out of it it becomes a power struggle, avoid that at all costs!

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A.W.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi, J., I can tell you I have just overcome this same situation with my daughter she is 3 and she would not poop on the potty either. So I keep an eye on here and I knew when she wondered off or hide from me she was up to something. So I took her into the bathroom and got here to go. Sometimes I was too late. Other times we were good to go. I have searched online for help, but it just takes time and she will do it in her time.i do not have any miracle advise. I can just tell you we have all been there. She will get it.

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T.P.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hang in there...my son was only tinkling on the potty starting in June. It took until about a month ago to get him to poop in the potty all the time! As long as you don't stress yourself or them out about it, they'll do it when they're ready. If I ever noticed that he was starting to poop in his pants, I'd carry him right to the toilet, and sometimes he'd finish there. Also, when I was cleaning him up after he'd gone in his pants, we'd talk about how it didn't feel good to be dirty or wet.
Finally, the book 'once upon a potty' was great! We still keep it in the bathroom, and when he is sitting on the potty, we read it. Whenever he goes in the potty, he exclaims, "Just like Joshua!" It's very cute!

It WILL get better. Pooping in the potty for 2 days is a HUGE start. You're on your way!!!

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M.H.

answers from Harrisburg on

I had the same situation with my now 4-yr-old. She would simply hold it until I put a pull-up on her. We used the easter bunny. We left her pull-ups in the easter basket, and in the morning he had replaced them with easter goodies and new big-girl-undies. I don't know why, but it worked. We tried to do the same thing for wearing a pull-up to bed, but the only thing that worked for that is she turned four, and decided she was big.

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