Help! How to Quit the Nuk?

Updated on March 31, 2009
S.S. asks from Saint Paul, MN
32 answers

My husband and I are dealing with a problem and we need advice! Our recently turned, 2 year old twins still use the nuk (pacifier). Over the course of a few months, we are now using it only for naps and at bedtime. We won't give it to them until they are actually in their cribs and laying down. They each have another comfort/transitional item - a blanket they have used since they were babies. The blanket is not the problem and I won't take that away from them but it's the nuk that we want to get rid of completely. I am thinking of doing some kind of Super Nanny suggested 'good bye nuk' ceremony but I would like to know what other real parents have done to get rid of the nuk useage, especially those with children where the parents have had to initiate taking it away. In reference to Super Nanny, I think she has some good tips but we don't have a 3rd party person to help us 'stay strong' and not give in when the twins are in complete hysterics and screaming for their night time nuk.

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.C.

answers from Milwaukee on

My son had a nuk also. We got him to stop at 2yrs old, by just giving it to him less and cutting the part they suck down every couple days. He was over it in a week and never went back. We also didn't give in when he wanted it. Boy was that hard. I hope this helps, it worked for us.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.

answers from Minneapolis on

I did the good bye ceremony with my daughter and she presented it to the infant room at daycare and it worked. My son, we told him when it blew out/ripped open, he had a tendency to have that happen with his, that they were all out at the store and we couldnt buy them anymore and that actually worked, he was fine with it. He understood the concept from showing him when toys are out, you cant buy them anymore so he didnt even question it. Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.A.

answers from Fargo on

Here is what I did with my daughter and it worked like a charm. Cut the very tip off of their Nuks and then let them use it for another few day. Then cut a bit more off. Do this again in a few days and pretty soon it won't give them any satisfaction and they will most likely give it up themselves. I got this idea from Marie Osmond when she had a show with Donnie about 5 years ago or so. This is what she did with her kids, too. If you decide to try it I hope it works as well for you as it did for me.

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi,
Our daughter was terribly hooked on the nuk. She would be up several times a night looking for it and all day long it would be misplaced and then we'd have a meltdown until we found it.
We had a talk with her about how nuks were for babies and when she was ready, we would give them to the babies who needed them. Target would do it for us and she could pick out a new toy, "pay" for it with her nuks, and Target would give them to the babies.
We talked about it a few times over the next couple of days and then she said she wanted a new toy and to give the nuks to the babies. We really approached it that she was doing something for the babies.
So, we put all of her nuks in a plastic baggie and went to Target. She picked out a toy. We went to check out and she very proudly put her toy on the counter and told the checkout lady that the babies needed the nuks. I discreetly put my credit card in the machine while she handed over her baggie with the nuks with a quick wink from me and explanation to the checkout lady (who smiled and went right along with it).
Jess was excited to play with her toy and asked later that day and a few times the next couple days for her nuk. I gently reminded her that we gave them to the babies and she did such a nice thing for them in exchange for a toy. That was the end of the nuk. No meltdowns, nothing.
What a relief to be done with them.

Good luck,
K.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.G.

answers from Appleton on

This is what I did with all three of my children:
Get them attached to a blanket (which you have done).
Tell them they are too old for Nuks and they are for babies only. Hide all but one of them. Then, cut the tip off it.
They'll realize they aren't fun anymore and won't want them.
The first night they might cry themselves to sleep, but once they disappear, they are out of sight/out of mind. It's not easy to go through the first night, but all three of mine forgot about them the next day.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.M.

answers from Minneapolis on

I took the mean approach. I gathered up all the nuks, cut the tips off, and then left them around the house. My son would find them, see that they would be broken, and tried it, but of course didn't like them. I then gave him the option of throwing the nuks away or keeping them. By the end of the week every pacifier was in the trash and he never cried once. I think Super Nanny does cute things, but I'm a busy mom of 3. I don't have time for cute, I just need things done.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi S.!

We were in the same position as you are with your 2 year old. We ended up doing it over a weekend- we just "hid" the nuk and said that we looked everywhere but couldn't find it. Believe me it was much harder on us than it was on her- after 2 days with out it she was fine. Another idea that I think is perfect for this time of the year is to leave it out for the Easter Bunny. Just like at christmas when you leave milk and cookies out for Santa, you could leave the nuks for the easter bunny. It works great! You can have them put their nuks in the easter baskets, leave the easter basket out and when they wake up instead of their nuks will be treats for them from the easter bunny.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.N.

answers from Madison on

I have a friend who also did the build-a-bear thing with her 2 1/2 year old and it worked great.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

We put the 2 nuks we had left (for sleeping) in a bag and used them to "buy" a "no-nukkie toy." We brought them to Toys R Us when it wasn't busy and set it up with the cashier that my son would pay for the toy with his nuks. He didn't notice, of course, that we slipped them a cash card...he was too preoccupied with his new toy!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi,

For my boys they were a little bit older, @ 3yrs, and also only had it at bed/nap time. We started a few days b4 talking about sending their nuk to the babies in the sky. on the day we got a bunch of helium balloons and tied their nuk to it (you'll be surprised how many balloons you'll need) then the boys said goodbye to their nuk and let them go themselves. They dealt really w/out their and when they'd ask about it I ask them where is your nuk and they remember they sent it to the babies in sky. Make sure tho throw away the extra ones so you wont give in if they do have a hard time. Good luck

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

You've gotten a lot of great strategies for making this transition, but I'm wondering if there's some particular reason why you feel such urgency to get rid of the pacifier right now. If they're only using it to get to sleep, it's not interfering with speech or social development. My pediatrician said that it's not an issue for teeth (pacifier or thumb-sucking) until the permanent teeth come in, so there aren't any dental worries. (Makes sense, the position of baby teeth doesn't have any connection to the position of permanent teeth.) I understand you might be concerned that it will be harder the longer you wait . . .but two year olds are still very oral, and they are successfully self-soothing. My son used his pacifier to sleep until he was 3-1/2 - at which point, we told him that Santa could only bring him the 3-wheeled scooter he coveted if he was ready to give up the pacifier, since scooters were for big boys, and big boys did not use pacifiers. We assured him that if he wasn't ready at Christmas, that was fine, the scooter would come whenever he was ready. We talked about it for a month or so, and when it came to Christmas Eve, he was ready, he left all his pacifiers with the cookies for Santa, and got the scooter in the morning. Bedtime was a little rough for a week or two - but no tears, just restlessness, and little difficulty getting to sleep. After that, no problems. He was veeerrrrryyyy attached to the pacifier (even at 18 mos, when we went down to naps and bedtime only, he was very very attached) so allowing it to be his choice was pretty important. If you really think your kids are going to be screaming for it, then why push it now? Wait until they're old enough to make the choice. They will NOT go to kindergarten with their pacifiers in their mouths - in the same way they will not go to kindergarten in diapers. This is one of those areas, for me, where I think allowing them to take things at their own pace, to own the transition, is better for everyone in the long run. I also think its one of those areas, like potty training, where we as parents can feel a lot of pressure to push our kids through a transition just because we're "supposed to." I'm not saying that's what you're doing, I'm just playing devil's advocate. But think about it, and do the right thing for your family, whatever that is. Good luck, whatever path you choose will be the right one for you.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

Are you sure you really want to get rid of it? I don't think 2 is too old to have a pacifier. I think what you're doing by limiting the time for it is great--that helps them get ready for bed by having their pacifiers to look forward to. The pacifiers are so soothing to the kids. I really believe that pacifiers are better than having them suck their thumbs.

One thing to think about is once they don't have their pacifiers, they might not go right to sleep. If they're in the same room, they may start messing around and getting into trouble. I'm speaking from experience. My kids are older now, but I honestly wish they had something like a pacifier that could instantly sooth them.

Sorry I'm not giving you the ideas you were looking for, but I just thought I should write.

Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.U.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi S.! You may have already heard of this, but you might want to consider going to build a bear and when you make your bear the nuk goes inside the bear with the stuffing and then they can have the bear with them at night.
You can make it a really big deal and a special day. Also, I've heard of people having a party and sending them up on balloons outside. I've heard other mothers cut the tips off and they still have it, but it doesn't work. You can also do a nook fairy thing, like the tooth fairy, and have the fairy come one night and replace it with something else.
Good Luck! I'll say a prayer for you and your kids. Susie

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.P.

answers from Eau Claire on

Our pediatrician suggested the method of cutting the tip off and slowly cutting more and more off, as described in a previous post. I haven't tried it yet, but that's what I plan to do within the next month or so. That way, you're not going cold-turkey and probably won't have to deal with the screaming. I don't think any sort of ceremony would be necessary then, either.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.B.

answers from Fargo on

I would recommend taking it away on a weekend when you and your husband don't have to get up for work and your other daughter doesn't have to get up for school. My kids never took a nuk so I don't have any other tips for you. Good luck! :)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.J.

answers from Minneapolis on

Just a quick word of caution. Please make sure your children are ready to give up the oral comfort. By the time my 3 daughters were each about 2 1/2 we were down to paci's at nap and bed time only. Then we exchanged the pacifier for a toy of their choice. For the first two we had a couple of hard nights and then all was well. For the third it was horrible! After a week of crying inconsolably at bedtime she started sucking her thumb to help her go to sleep. Then she figured out that her thumb was always there and she could have it whenever she wanted or at least whenever Mom wasn't trying to pull it out of her mouth! I really wish that I had listened her cries and given her the pacifier. We spent years trying to break the thumb sucking when giving her the pacifier for another 6 months would have been so much less traumatic for both of us. So please don't take it away just because they reach a certain age but make the transition when they are emotionally ready. Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

My daughter was super attached to her nuk and we waited until she was closer to 3 to get rid of it, but it went way smoother than we ever expected it to go. Here's what we did: About 4-5 weeks prior to the big day, we talked a lot about needing to give up the nuk and that we were going to give it "baby Jesus" to give to the next baby that needed it. We also said that she was a big girl now and could do this and it would be ok. Both my children need a lot of warning before changes occur, so this gave her time to mentally digest and come to terms with the situation in advance. Then on the big day we bought a few milar balloons and tied all of her nuks to them and let her be the one to launch them into the sky up to heaven. She thought it was so fun and was so proud of herself too - it was evident that it was a milestone moment for her. We feared that nighttime without it would be a disaster, but she only came to our room once, saying she missed her nuk, but we reminded her that it was gone and she got over it. Never mentioned it again. So much easier than we expected. My son, however, sucks his thumb and we have not been able to get him away from it at almost age 7! The nuk is so much easier to get rid of! Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

We played the Nuk fairy with both of my girls. My first one it was the night before her third birthday-put it under her pillow and the next morning it was gone and a present was in it's place. My second one was just a couple of weeks after she turned three-at first she didn't want to put it under the pillow and then after a couple of nights not being "ready" one morning before we left for daycare-she put it under the pillow-it worked. She had a few struggles with it the first few nights, but we kept telling her that she was big now and the nuk fairy took her nuk to babies who really needed it.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

My 3 year old was still using his just for nap and bed and had really resisted giving it up. His dentist told me to cut the tip off and I did that night (out of son's sight). My son put it in his mouth at bedtime, then pulled it out to look at it and noticed the hole. I told him he must have worn a hole in it from so much use. He said, this is no good anymore and threw it away! He wanted to hold it again later but that was pretty much it!! It is way easier then we imagine it will be!! Good luck, they really do need to give them up for their teeth's sake.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.A.

answers from Minneapolis on

Do you know anyone with a new baby? or one on the way? On jon & Kate + 8 she got the kids to give their paci's to their cousin. (I'm sure you know they went in the trash when cousin got home LOL) Kate set a date and kept saying it so they knew what the day was. Kate even let them have one last suck on it. I thought it was a Great idea!!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

our son is 2 1/2 and he still has his nuk but only when he is going to bed. We aren't planning on taking it away until he is 3 as we don't feel its a real big deal and plus 2 is still too young to really understand. Once summer hits and he is running around like crazy he will probably be too tired to remember it.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

We did the "paci-fairy" thing...came and took all pacificers and left a present. I think this helped, but if I'm being truthful about it -- it was still 2 days of awful.

My son was fine until bedtime and even at first with his "new toy" but after about 30 mins he started crying and saying that he wanted to give his toy back. He did eventually fall asleep, but he woke up several times during the night and the results was the same. Each consecutive night got much better. By day 4/5 we were through it.

One BIG piece of advice -- throw out all the pacificers in the house. My husband had even taken our trash out to the dumpster -- we did not save a "BACK-UP". I can say that if we had I would have given in for sure -- especially when we were up for the fourth time at 3am.

Good luck -- you'll get through it quickly.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

I don't know anything about super nanny but we absolutely had a ceremony and it worked like a charm. We had made a couple half-hearted attempts to ditch the passy after he turned 2 but he was only using it to sleep so it didn't seem like such a big deal. A few months later though we made a big production out of decorating a big envelope and putting the passy in it and tying it to a tree (cuz the passy fairy doesn't use the mail box). Then we celebrated with cake, ice cream, and party games. Had a similar envelope go out with his daycare passy. He had one rough night and that was it. He never mentioned it again.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.I.

answers from Duluth on

well, i hope i can help you relax....
its fine to want to get rid of the nuk, and its fine to do whatever works if your kids are ready.
i know my son (who is 28 months old) is NOT ready - if we dont give him the nuk, he doesnt cry and whine, he sucks his thumb. the whole point of us giving him the nuk is so he doesnt suck his thumb.. so until which point he stops doing that - he will have that nuk.

i want to ease your fears here: no matter what doctors say, its not going to harm your child to keep it a while longer, it wont even make that big of a difference with teeth either. people seem to push that its this horrible thing, but its not.

the best thing you can do is what you are doing. they only have it when laying down in bed. thats great! :D you are half on your way. i give my son opportunities to fall asleep without it and he does on occasion, and when he falls asleep and the nuk is loose in his mouth, i will just take it. its common that he wont ask for it the rest of the night. so in all honesty, if you are doing that, how bad could it be? if they only honestly have it in their mouths to fall asleep - thats what - an hour a day? its NOT going to hurt them in any way.

you do what you have to do. dont let anyone tell you that they are too old for it or that they are spoiled or their teeth will be screwed up or anything. most people spend more time sucking on other things (cigarettes, silverware, foods, candies) than your children do on their nuks, so its really not as big of a deal as it may seem :D

i personally think that you can wait it out as long as another year and just see how they do. supernanny has no children of her own.... so though she may have the developmental stuff down, she may be knowledgeable, and in every episode the problem gets worked out, remember, she has no children. she doesnt really KNOW what its like. everyone is like that until they have kids. we have definate ideas about how they will raise kids, and guess what, once you have kids... some things completely change. so remember that and consider the source when you are watching the show. i think shes great - but most of what i see in that show is training the PARENTS to raise their children, not as much teaching children how to behave differently. the families ive seen on the show dont know how to be the head of their family, to be the guidance and descipline that they need. im blabbing.... but i want you to know that you shouldnt feel aweful for any parenting choice you make - they are your kids and the only person who is responsible for them is you (and your husband of course) - so outside advice is only to be used when you feel comfortable with it.

anyway
so relax. its ok if you feel they need them longer.... it really is.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi S.,

What we did with our twins was take the nuks to build a bear and they each got to put their nuk inside the animal of their choice. they had fun picking out the animal and they were the ones to put the nuks inside. the first night was rough--they wanted to rip open the stuffed animals, but it got better every nap/bedtime. we did this with our twins when they were 26 months old.

Good luck!
L.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.M.

answers from Minneapolis on

If the ceremony doesn't work, how about losing them? Get rid of all the spare nuk's first of all - literally throw them away. Then "lose" the nuk's. Can't find them - oh darn. There may be some tears but its not going to last forever. At 2 yrs old they will understand the "all gone" syndrom. If all else fails, cut the tips of the nuk's off - that does the trick immediately. Good luck! And stay strong - don't give in!!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.M.

answers from Madison on

Our son only used his nuks during car rides, nap time and bed time since 1 year old. At 1-1/2 we took it out of the car rides. Then at 2-1/2 we had our son give his nuks to the nuk fairy. (If I had it to do over I would let him have them until 3)

I started a week in advance letting him know that on Saturday the nuk fairy was going to come and collect all his nuks for little boys and girls who didn't have any of their own. I would tell him this every time I would give him his nuk that week and also ask him during the day what was going to happen to his nuks to make sure he understood. Then on Saturday when he was getting ready for bed I asked him to put all his nuks into a paper bag so the nuk fairy could come get them. He did this very well until the last one, and then he needed a little coaxing. It took me an extra 1/2 hour to put him to bed without a nuk but that was the only night I had problems.

I had him put his nuks outside the front door. I told him in exchange for his nuks the nuk fairy would leave him a special gift. For him I actually had the fairy leave him a boy baby doll that pees and it is even anatomically correct (to help prepare him for potty training). Got two purposes served with the one mission. And he LOVES that doll and does like to have it sit on the potty.

He has never cried for his nuk, he did on occasion ask for it but I just reminded him the nuk fairy gave it to other babies that didn't have any and all he said was oh ya.
But the one and only downfall of the whole giving up the nuk is that he did not take a nap for me for over a month, and now I still have to sleep with him for him to take a nap. He takes naps fine at my moms house (she watches him during the week without nuks either). I wish I would have waited until he was 3 just so I could get thru the winter first, since in the spring time he would have alot more time outside to wear off his excess energy and maybe take naps better. And nuks don’t hurt unless they have it 24/7. Its not going to hurt there teeth if they just use it for naps and bedtime, most of the time they end up spitting it out after they fall asleep anyway.

Good luck and I hope this helps.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.N.

answers from Grand Forks on

we "bought" the nuk from our daughter when she was just a little over two, she said she wanted a penny for her bank one day and her daddy said ok but can I have your nuk for it she said yes and than I told her if she gave daddy the nuk for a penny she won't beable to get it back she said ok than daddy said ok got her nuk and asked her if she was sure cause he said it was goiing to the trash she still said yes, daddy arre you sure your a big girl yes she said, daddy than took her nuk and cut the end off she than said it is broken and asked for her penny, she got it and than went and threw ti away...when bed time came around she she asked for it cried not like her world came crashing down onher but more of a whinny almost to a full blown crying on and off for about a half hour. she fell asleep and was fine, she didn't ask for it until about 6 months later when she got really sick and out of the blue asked for it agian, I just told her that she was a big girl and I didn't have one, she was fine she neveer asked again.....hmmmm my 6 year old son I can't remeber what I did to take it away.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.J.

answers from Milwaukee on

Just after my daughter turned 2, I took her with me to the dentist. He took one look at her and said no nuk, because it was starting to damage her teeth. I took away the nuk in the car, and that was it. She asked for it for the next few days, but I kept telling her the doctor said no. She didn't get too upset about it. After a few days, she stopped asking.

It was nice, because it wasn't me taking away the nuk; it was the doctor.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.J.

answers from Des Moines on

I would talk with your childcare provider and see what they offer in assistance. Personally, I would wait for the weather to warm up. They are too busy to worry about it and they get too tired to fuss about it too much. Good luck and stay strong. My kids were a struggle, but we were done by 2 1/2.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I didn't have time to read the others, so sorry if this is a repeat:) I think right around 2 is the easiest time to do it. We just took it away. With our oldest we had a tought week and then it was over. With our second it was only one day. Our youngest will be 2 in June, so I'll be in the same place you are:) Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.G.

answers from Dubuque on

Oh we just went through this and how easy it was. Course with twins you'll have to be more creative and have two accidents. One day my daughter cut the end off of her 2 year old (Brooke) nuk and laid it in her tv chair. When Brooke found it she brought it to mom crushed over what happened. Her mom said "oh no, it broke". Brooke pouted and threw it. That night she went to sleep with just the handle part in her hand and soon lost it. Good luck. J.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions