Help - House over Run W/clutter

Updated on December 27, 2007
S.N. asks from Drexel Hill, PA
22 answers

Hello All.

I'm looking for suggestions, advice, whatever.

I'm married w/2 kids (3 almost 4 and 18 months old) I work 3 ten hour days in Exton (ends up being closer to 13 when u throw in the commute), ten hours a week at home as well. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not the neatest person, we just seem to have so much stuff and now my husband is really giving me a hard time about it. I know most of the stuff belongs to me or the kids and I know it's out of control I just don't know where to start and it doesn't help him making me feel even worse about it. Anyone else have or had this problem?

I'll take any suggestions you have at this point I'm at my wits end and we are really not even speaking to each other and I feel lousy and don't even want to think about Christmas because then we'll have even more stuff.

Thanks for listening.

S.

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J.P.

answers from Harrisburg on

Hi S. ~ I was looking to see if anyone else gave this suggestion....Flylady.com I am a SAHM to 4 boys and I get so overwhelmed trying to clean it all at once!! This website really helps!! Merry CHRISTmas ~ J.

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L.O.

answers from Pittsburgh on

wow, did i write this or did you!!
glad to see someone is in the same boat! I have no advice, but i'm gonna read what you get!!

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L.C.

answers from Scranton on

S.,

I can 100% understand! I work from home, and it is oh so easy for that clutter to take over your life! As I look around, I have some cleaning to do too! lol OK, I will give you the best suggestion!!! Go to Flylady.com There are schedules and everything, and she sends you an email a day telling you what to clean!!

Also, it will take time. Don't look at the mountain, look at a small area and build from there! Eventually your house will be picture perfect! :) I hope this helps!

L.

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K.W.

answers from Scranton on

flylady.net....is all I have to say she has completly changed our lives and a lot of others! Give it a try!!

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L.T.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I've got the same problem though I've been tackling it a little bit at a time and things are improving. First, I tell my husband that he has to help out. He isn't very willing but I've gotten to the point where it isn't up for disucssion. As an adult in the house he needs to contribute. His jobs usually consist of folding and putting away laundry, cleaning up after dinner and emptying/loading the dishwasher.

I also have finally broken down and spent money on buying things to help me keep organized - totes, cheap dressers, bins, etc. Designating a home for each of my belongings helps be stay in control.

I have set up a weekly schedule in which I assign one room or two smaller room to each day. I spend 30 minutes in the room of the day. I straighten up, dust if necessary, and if there is any extra time I work on projects. There wasn't much extra time in the beginning, but now that I've gotten a better handle on things I've been able to spend time cleaning out closets, de-cluttering, etc. I was surprised at how much I accomplished by cleaning out 1 or 2 drawers at at time. I also allot 5 or 10 minutes a day for each of the other rooms so they stay tidy. I have also worked in time to pay bills, file, etc.

You could tailor a system like this around your work schedule. If you think you would like to try this out or if you want more guidelines, send me a message and I'll give you more specific details about how I put my schedule together.

Clutter has caused rifts between my husband and I on occassion. It isn't fun and really creates more stress than it should. Since Christmas is a few days away, why don't you talk to your husband and suggest a truce until the holidays are over. Put some time into devising a plan and put it into motion in January. However, if you find a few minutes here and there before January arrives start working on your plan and give yourself a high-five for being ahead of the game.

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K.J.

answers from Philadelphia on

Storage bins to rotate toys work well. Storage shelves to organize everything. Anything you and the kids don't use, give to the Good Will, Salvation Army, or Free cycle - make it a project that the oldest one could help you with. Hopefully you have an attic or basement for storage. Tell your husband to take the kids out for a few hours, and that will give you some time to get some organizing done.
Hope this helps! Merry Christmas.

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E.C.

answers from Pittsburgh on

S.,

This will be no easy venture. If you are serious about a clutter free house then you need to have a strategy.

First, this will have to be a weekend project. That means no kids...is it possible to find a sitter? You and your husband will need to tackle it together.

Second, once you have the children attended to you need to get busy. Take it one room at a time. Make a donate pile, a keep pile, and a throw away pile.

Third, various sizes of bins and containers should be utilized for toys, bookshelves for books, and make use of closet space for toys not often played with. For example, I use mesh hanging baskets for stuffed animals, colorful end tables for displaying toys, and hooks to hang ball caps, purses, etc. See through containers are great for crayons, art supplies, magnets, etc. Each toy needs its own container/system.

Fourth, while organizing it is also a good time to do some cleaning and rearranging. You may find unused space to display items.

I hope some of my suggestions help. If you need any hints or additional info. please contact me. I am obsessive about keeping my house clutter free and you may find my suggestions a bit over the top...trying to help;)

Good luck!

-E.

P.S. A great place to find storage ideas is at IKEA. They have outstanding prices and offer unique, space saving ideas. IKEA has various stores in PA and are online.

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E.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

One room at a time!
We do whats consider the mad dash cleaning. We have 3 kids in the home 19, 8 & 6. Plus my husband and I ( and my assorted pets) We all pick a room to work on. If you try to do it alone its overwhelming and frustrating. So our last mad dash cleaning went like this. My husband & I cleaned the living room & den, I did the top he did the lower half. the 19 yr old did the kitchen & bathroom. Our little ones helped her, by fetching cleaning items, taking out trash and basically being runners. This got the bulk of the house done with in a hour.we all helped, and it was much easier!

One book I can recommend & love!! Real Simple Cleaning. I got it off of www.onespirt.com

Good luck!

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A.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I had the same problem. What I found out was by organizing my house a little at a time, I actually decreased my stress level because I felt like my house was "peaceful". I am a huge fan of the clear, Big Lots bins. They are cheap and see through and easy to lable. I bought the large mailing lables at wal mart and labled EVERYTHING.
First you have to draw a picture of all storage areas (closets, basements, cubbies) in your house and start to give everything a "home". For instance: cleaning supplies and anything cleaning related in one place, party supplies (paper plates,forks, napkins) in another place. I keep bins of toilettries labled so that when I go to the store, I can check the bins to see what is empty and I stay 2 ahead on everything.
Designate a "home" for everything and eventually everything ends up in it's own place.
My husband used to get on me as well about the neatness of our house. It makes you feel like it's a personal attack because our home is generally the woman's to "manage". Now that everything in my house is organized (and by the way it took a while) he has backed off! I was mad about him getting on me about this but in the long run it helped me out to get me jump started.
I am attacking my kids play room next. I am going to Lowes and buying about 10 industrial shelving units and I am lining them up around the perimeter of the play room. I am sticking all of their toys on these shelves and labling them. I already have bins in there so it shouldn't be too difficult. I actually taped photos of each toy on the bin that they belong in since my kids just started to read.
Good luck!

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J.B.

answers from Allentown on

I am a HGtv maniac and whenever they have a show on about cleaning up or de-cluttering, this is what they advise:

1. Start by picking one room at a time- don't try to do it all at once.

2. Get 3 large boxes or trash bags and label them: Trash, Donate and Keep

3. Start in one corner of the room and as you pick up items decide if they are Trash, something you can donate or something you want to keep. There is no "I don't know box"- so everything has to be in a box.

4. Once you have all of the items in the boxes labeled above, take the Trash box/bag and dispose of it outside immediately. Take the Donate box/bag and put it in your car so you can take it somewhere to donate and take the Keep box/bag and go through the house and put everything away.

5.You want to repeat this for all the rooms in your home that need de-cluttering attention!! Best of luck!

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B.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Start with one room in one corner with trash bags in one hand and a hard heart in the other (LOL). Work your way around your room with NO MERCY!! If you haven't touched, worn, or used it in 3-6 months (excludes seasonal clothes) then pitch it. If it's seasonal and you didn't wear it last year...pitch it, donate it whatever it takes to get it out of your house!

When my kids were little my husband and I would go through all the toys in the toybox at least twice a year (summer and then again right before Christmas) and pitch out every kidmeal toy, broken toy, unused toy we could find. We always did this after the kids were asleep and made sure that it all went out to the curb without being seen ASAP.

I took a day twice a year and went through all clothes in the house, usually right after all the laundry was done. Anything that was beyond mending got pitched. Anything too small, too big was packed away if being kept for future use by baby sisters, anything else that hadn't been worn in 3 months etc got donated.

I know this sounds hard, but I used to work 50 to 60 hours a week myself and I know you can do it if you put your mind to it and your hubby helps. Get him and the kids involved...once you start you'll be glad you did!! Good luck and best wishes!!

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T.S.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Check out FlyLady.net, or read Sink Reflections, that's the Fly Lady's book. A lot of what she suggests really helped me. But something else you have to be willing to do is get out from under all your stuff. Toss it or give it away! Don't buy so much stuff.

Your kids are so young, they won't even miss it if you round up some of their toys and put them away. We keep a big plastic storage bin and every once in a while I fill it up with stuff that hasn't been picked up, it goes in the attic for a couple of months, and then those toys come back and others get put away. For My daughter it is like she gets new toys.

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J.J.

answers from Sharon on

Go to this web site and it will help...
http://flylady.com/

alot of my friends swear by this,they say it works.I know she says to get up get dressed,clean your room and you are done in that room for the day.She also has 15minutes to declutter tips on there.
I really need to work on this too but if the kids keep the mess in their rooms than i don't worry about it.I just close their doors.But my husband and i take a weekend a month and clean the entire house...but don't start until after the holidays you'll have way too much stress with decluttering and holidays
Good luck
J.

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P.G.

answers from Philadelphia on

This year was a wake up call for me. I have a 14 yr old son, 6 year old daughter and a 7 mos old baby boy. Two weeks before christmas I totally went through all the closets and donated over seven bags of clothing to the Purple Heart and three bags of toys to the school collection for the poor. You just need to do it. It was hard getting to that point b/c I work full time in Berwyn so I feel your pain. Like the NIKe slogans say "Just do it" and "Leave nothing behind." Good Luck

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T.M.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I know what you mean. I am in about the same boat and I am convinced my husband is OCD and he has to move everything.
What I do, try to relax and not worry about. so one same part at a time. When you get one section orgazined and sorted it fulls like a huge accomplishement and then you can move on to another. Most important...its doesnt have to get all done at once. A little at a time. Its way less stressful that way.

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S.H.

answers from Philadelphia on

Try joining the Philly Freecycle listserv... freecycle.org. You can get or get rid of stuff for free. I find it motivating to know that someone who really needs my clutter will find it on the freecycle list, and then the best part, come and get it! You can even do "curb alert" messages where you drag everything out to the curb, post a list of what's there and then watch as it all disappears (or gets picked up by the trash).

If you're feeling particularly overwhelmed, maybe try starting with one room at a time or one corner of a room at a time.

Good luck and I hope this helps!

S.

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L.C.

answers from Sharon on

Hi S.. Welcome to my world (of clutter)!

I too have too much stuff, or a small house, whichever way you want to look at it. We do not have a place for all of our stuff either. My husband too wants the house straightened up all the time and it is hard. I finally had to start somewhere, so this is what I do (have done). Each week I choose which room I am going to completely organize (I only do one a week because I work outside the home too - there's just no way to do more than that, for me anyway). Then I take that room and make it into how I want it to be - sometimes I will have to go and buy a special cabinet or shelf for the room to make it work. Once that room is done, everything that goes in that room has a place. I just keep doing that with each room. It may seem like a lot at first but step by step it gets done. Of course, all of the stuff that I don't have room for (or that doesn't belong) in the rooms I have cleaned ends up shoved in a different room until I do that room. Eventually I will be done, and you can be too. I have only completed four rooms and a closet so far but I do feel good about getting that much done. Good Luck and enjoy Christmas!

L.

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T.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

First know you are no alone as is evident by the responses. As a mother who works full time outseide the home and operates several businesses at home it is easy to let things pile up and then comes the clutter. I recently started using freecycle to ease my clutter. I started with the closets and anything that we had not used and/or wore in 6 months (if right season) was given away. I found that I had clothes that I kept claiming I would get back into them. I found that once I got to th size I wanted new stuff. Now the house rule is we must purge two items to get one new item. My son age 4 was alittle hard but once I got him to understand what we were doing it has been much easier.

I am hoping to hire a housekeeper in the new year but first I have to find places for everything.

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K.C.

answers from State College on

I'm not the neatest person and HATE housework but love being home with the kids. Best thing is to make a plan that works for you and the hubby that is put into action after Christmas.
1)you ship the kids out for whatever time you can, couple hours w/ bbsitter or weekend w/ grandparents then you AND YOUR HUSBAND tackle the house like they do on cleansweep, one room at a time. I have a hard time getting rid of stuff unless I know it is going to goodwill or consignment and then that helps.
2)If you both work full time what's his share, can you pick a room that is his to care for he might realize the daunting task of picking up for two young kids.
3)consider a housecleaner(once you've decluttered) as a reward and help. When I worked I found one for $85 every two weeks. Merry Maids wanted $250. you'll have to ask around and shop around but it made a world of difference in my sanity and my husbands When I asked if we could afford it once I'd found the $85 one, he said he'd give up restaurant meals and pizza on Friday for it. It forced US to pick up every two weeks since they cleaned but didn't tidy. We didn't have them do the basement. There were times I piled a laundry basket worth of junk and put it on my bed but it was still better.

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H.F.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Okay, her goes.... I know exactly how you feel. I don't work outside the home. I do work from my home part-time, have 3 kids (8, 3, and 4 months), and am a stay-at-home mom. With all of the hours you are working, give yourself a little break. Take a deep breath and realize that the house may seem a bit of a mess but take another look. My mom always said the house is "lived in". I have to agree. When I take that second look, I realize how much I have cleaned up and how much I have actually done.

When I was little, my Dad got on my mother about how messy our house was (same situation). It got to the point where she was tired of him telling her she didn't do anything all day, so one day she didn't. We woke up and had breakfast, she left the dishes on the table. At lunch we pushed the dishes back and had lunch. Wherever we took off our pajamas, that was where they stayed. Whatever toys we took out (I was 4 or 5, my sister was 2 or 3), she left out. The house was a true disaster when my dad got home. When he came through the door, he say "What happened here?" My mom looked at him and said, "Take a good look around! This is what it looks like when I don't do anything during the day! Instead of getting on my back about what I haven't gotten done during the day, close your mouth and help out a little." My dad was much better after that. Make a list of all you do for a day or two, then talk to your husband. Tell him how his nagging is making you feel and make sure you tell him all you do. A Mom's job doesn't end at the end of the work day. My husband is a big help around the house but I can honestly say I do a lot more for the kids and around the house even when he is home and my day never truly ends.

As to making you feel better about everyday things... Look at your kids things. What do they actually play with on a day to day basis. If there are toys they do not play with, take them to a consignment shop or donate them. A suggestion made to me by some friends was to take about half of the toys put them in a bin and store them, after a few weeks rotate them. That way only some of the toys are out at any given time and the kids feel like they have gotten new toys. For my 3 year old son, I bought one of those shelves with the bins that come on and off. We put little people, dinosaurs, cars, and trains in different bins (along with other types of toys). We keep them semi-sorted. By that I mean it is not perfect but it allows him to pick up one of the bin (say the trains) and take them to his train table to play. It means when it is time to clean up whatever he hasn't gotten to, I can grab the bin and toss it in. For easier cleanup at the end of a play session with my 3 year old and his friends or whenever they are in bed and I'm cleaning up, I grab a laundry basket and toss all the toys into it. It goes around the room with me. Then I sort it into the downstairs toybox and my son's bedroom toybox. A lot of times I'll throw in my husband or 8 year old daughters things in the basket too and either put them where they go or give them the basket when I have put away the rest and let them put it away. Some days I leave the basket out during the day and if I see something on the floor toss it in as we go and then sort it at the end of the day.

Also, get your kids involved. Make a game of it. Play twice a day when you are home (once before lunch and once before Dad comes home). Have the kids help you put all the toys that are out in a laundry basket, then carry the basket to the toy box/shelves/whatever you use and have them sort them into the right containers. It will help them to learn to do it and make it easier for you in the long run. Sing Barney's clean-up song or something similar. If you make it fun for them, they will do most of the work for you. My 3 year old son thinks it is great to beat Mommy at different things. I've made it into a game when I change the 4 month olds diapers. I tell him not to touch the dirty diaper I tied up cause I want to put it in the diaper pail. You've never seen a kid snatch up and throw a dirty diaper away as fast as he does. ;)

And like you did with the toys, look at what you have cluttering up the house. If it is something you don't use and it doesn't have any kind of sentimental value, get rid of it. If it is something you don't use but has sentimental value or something you rarely use, think about if you really need to keep it. If it is broken, get rid of it. A lot of stuff (if it isn't broken) you could donate to a charity. If you do that, ask for a receipt. Most donations are tax deductible.

Anyhow, I know this was really long but I hope that it is helpful. It won't make your house perfect but it may help it be a little less cluttered and a bit more bearable for both you and your husband.

Good luck and Happy Holidays!

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L.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

hi I'm sorry about your problem....I have 3 boys 4 and under and i was just looking for some part time work...what am i good at?????? House Cleaning and organizing. I'm great at organizing and simplifying...i'd love to help you out at a reasonable rate...write me back if you're interested. Sometimes you need an outsider to come in with a different eye and help.Hope to hear from you!!!!!!!

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C.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hey there S.,

I can definitely relate! I have two suggestions. One is to get rid of as many things as you can. Many ladies have already told you that though, so I won't get into it too much. ;)

My main suggestion is BINS BINS BINS! I have a bin for anything and everything. Do you have a ton of pens? Get a pen bin! Do you have a ton of legos? Get a lego bin! Do you have a ton of laundry? Get a laundry bin! Do you have a ton of bins? Get a bin bin! Hee hee! I would suggest getting bins that are see through. That way you know what is in it at first glance. ;)

Good luck to you!

C.
www.EnhanceYourWayOfLife.com

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