Help Do Not Know What to Do Kindergartner Having Trouble in School?

Sorry to hear you're having trouble. Many boys are just not ready for the constraints of Kindergarten. Since K is more academic based now more than ever Many more parents are choosing to hold back their sons for another year so they aren't switched off from schooling.

I have a boy in K and he loves it and was ready for it. Balancing academics and homework is a chore I must do so he continues to love learning.

I'm currently reading Boys adrift by Dr L Sax and started a discussion group about it because there are some really interesting science based reasons why our sons or some of our sons are having a hard time in K on up in school.

Here's a recent podcast interview that gives you an idea of what he says. http://vickyandjen.com/podcast_105.html

I don't know if I would agree with everything. Not through the book to give a comment yet. I'm not endorsing it as every boy is different but it might give you insight into how to effectively tackle your problem.
Just a thought. Good luck. Let me know if you need anymore info.

1 mom found this helpful

I have had 6 children with one of the ADD, ADHD, OR AUTISM SPECTRUM disorders. I also have 9 "gifted and talented" children, and the six just mentioned are a part of those 9. I would suggest that you look up a search for not only ADHD, but Gifted ADHD on the internet. The info from www.kidsource.com/kidsource/content/adhd_and_gifted.html
is very good at helping you access what your child is doing. The school psychologist can help a great deal, but you have to mention that you suspect that your child may have ADHD and/or learning disability and/or gifted traits. Be firm and require the testing.
If they balk, refer to the requirement by law for testing if a learning disability or ADHD is suspected. It is part of the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act).
It can be requested by parent or doctor, or you can go to a private psychologist(a neuropsychologist is best).
If he does have ADHD be sure he gets additional support through a psychologist specializing in treating children with ADHD. These children have to learn better behaviors in the social area.
I have two children on medication. One is an adult now and uses Ritalin in its short acting form. When we used the same on our other child who requires medication she reacted with halucinations and seizures. She is now on Strattera which is not a controlled substance drug. It is also not as harmful as some of the others. At any rate, her doctor did not place her on medication until the 2nd grade and she still struggles because of the loss of the basics she should have learned in the grades prior to that.
Look at the following list. See if any match. Kids with gifted traits also have the same struggles that you describe.
from www.Provo.edu
Program for Academically Gifted Students
Bright Child
*Knows the answers
* Is interested
* Is attentive
* Has good ideas
* Works hard
* Answers the questions
* Top group
* Listens with interest
* Learns with ease
* 6-8 repetitions for mastery
* Understands ideas
* Enjoys peers
* Grasps the meaning
* Completes assignments
* Is receptive
* Copies accurately
* Enjoys school
* Absorbs information
* Technician
* Good memorizer
* Enjoys straightforwardsequential presentation
* Is alert
* Is pleased with own learning
Gifted Learner
*Asks the questions
* Is highly curious
* Is mentally and physically involved
* Has wild, silly ideas
* Plays around, yet tests well
* Discusses in detail, elaborates
* Beyond the group
* Shows strong feelings and opinions
* Already knows
* 1-2 repetitions for mastery
* Constructs abstractions
* Prefers adults
* Draws inferences
* Initiates projects
* Is intense
* Creates a new design
* Enjoys learning
* Manipulates information
* Inventor
* Good guesser
* Thrives on complexity
* Is keenly observant
* Is highly self critical

Bright Child Gifted Learning, by Janice Szabos Challenge, 1989, issue 34 p. 4 Continuum of Services for Gifted Education
Good luck on your research. And, above all give that little guy of yours lots of love and attention. ADHD means not only having an attention deficit. but it means that he has a deficit in the amount of attention he needs. Hugs and talking with your child fills that need for more attention. And, using the word "why?" and "What next" and "Tell me more" is the best way to redirect him to a better pattern for learning and doing and feeling happy about himself(self esteem).
One last thing. Don't hesitate to be the advocate for your child. The program he is in, if it doesn't fit his needs, it needs to be changed. Change teachers, and if needed change schools.
Keep smiling. Where there is a will there is a way, and because you are willing to seek the best for your child, you will find the way that works best for both of you.
N.
mom of 9 and volunteer that has worked with lots more.
P.S. Another good site to check for gifted issues is the Council for Exceptional Children (CEC), Division of Learning Disabilities (DLD)site. It can be reached through
www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_How_Does_One/
It also refers you to other subtopics including auditory processesing and other mild disabilities. Coping strategies to help your student at home and at school are included.
Other sources:
Also do a web search for the state in which you live + gifted and you'll be able to connect with a support group locally.

1 mom found this helpful

J. S,
Wow, did your story take me back 13 years ago with my son, they said my son was ADD and wanted to put him on all kinds of medications, please don't do that. They are dangerous meds, they cause so many more problems, the side effects are horrible. After $60 thousand in medical bills I found out the truth. The products generally in our home contribute to this because of the toxins that are released from our chemicals, from our bath & body products, even our laundry & dish detergents. Pretty scary, but the majority of our health concerns started when manufactures started putting more preservatives in the products. The worst ones that I had used in my home 13 years ago were: bleach, ammonia based products like pinesol and windex, pledge, 409, Mr. Clean Bathroom. They have poisons in them and alone it isn't much, but you add everything to your shampoo, toothpaste, bath soaps, laundry, dishes it becomes dangerous for our family. I do not know if this is true for your household or not, but please look at the ingredients in products you use in your home, you can look the MSDS sheets on them online and see if they may be contributing to some of the characteristics you are seeing. We switched our store to a wellness manufacturer, not only did I save money from shopping direct, but I saved my sons life, he is graduating this year and heads to college in August, I never thought I would see that day come that he was going to college. You can get some more info here. gotgreennow.fourpointwellness.com

Sorry, I haven't had time to read other people's responses, so sorry if this is a repeat, but I'd have him checked for learning disorders. Especially dyslexia! I was never diagnosed until I was a senior in high school, but I went through the same things...lack of focus, not getting work done, terrible writing. I was held in for recess and after school to complete assignments, or redo handwriting pages. It was so frustrating!! I learned to compensate when I was older and turned out to be a giid student, but finally fining out WHY I had problems when I was young was a big relief! Hope you get this solved! Good luck!

If this teacher does not have any ideas or suggestions that can help him, she may not be the right teacher for him, and/or he may need to be evaluated. You can have him evaluated for any kind of learning difficulties. He may learn differantly than most kids, so ask the principal about the free evaluation that is entitled to you by law. Make sure that you pay attention to the time frame, they have a limited time to make him an appointment and to follow through. Talk to the staff. Also, a friend of mine recently pulled her son out of a class because the teacher was not a good match for him. He is doing great in school now, because he has a differant teacher. Try not to put too much pressure on your son, and know that he may just need a differant approach to learning.

I used to teach kindergarten, and I have had 3 of my own through kindergarten, so I've been on both sides.

This sounds a LOT like my son. He wouldn't get started on his work, then had to miss other stuff to do his work. Then he got frustrated that he didn't get to do the 'fun' stuff and shut down even more. By October I was getting the same kind of note home. It's really important for a 5-year-old to be able to run and play and participate in those fun activities, which are really learning activities. But he also needs to do his work. It can be a tricky balance for a teacher.
It sounds like she is concerned about him. She is asking for your input. I would think about what your son is really interested in and what gets him going. Let her know his interest, and strategies you use at home to get him doing things he needs to do (like getting dressed, picking up his toys, etc). Maybe she can work those things in to some of the work for him.

How much seat work is there for the kids to do? It's normal for them to do some, but it should not be the most part of the day. Kids need to be actively learning.

As far as writing, it could be that he doesn't have the small motor development to make it comfortable yet. My son also had the same issue. It was hard for him to write because of motor development. If I a gave him magnet letters he could create a lot of words. And his imagination is incredible. It was just the mechanics. At home, get him big crayons, sidewalk chalk, whiteboard and markers, etc to write with. Big is easier. Practice writing in the air and on the floor ("finger pencil"). Let him write and draw in large scale. Ask him about his drawings - encourage a story by asking "what's it doing" or "how did it get there" or other open questions. Celebrate every success he has (my son's first grade teacher was surprised when I was giddy over stick people and a full sentance because of the progress it was.)

It is possible that he could have ADD/ADHD, but his behavior could be normal active little boy. Big indicators of ADHD would be very low impulse control, poor social skills, difficulty transitioning from one activity to another, and sometimes extreme focus on one thing - to the point where he can't switch to another idea easily.

It may just not be a great fit between teacher and child. Sometimes a teacher's style doesn't mesh and it can be harder for both. Help him to see the fun in school. Ask the teacher to send work home that he didn't finish so he can have some of the recess and activity time. Observe the class when he doesn't know you're there, if possible (stand quietly just inside without drawing attention, if you can). Or when you're volunteering, ask to work with another group, and then observe him a bit. Maybe she is seeing something you aren't. Good luck.

Hi J.:
I would try to have another meeting with the teacher and principle and school special ed teacher. If he is showing signs of ADHD the special ed teacher could help diagnose this. My son does have all the same issues, we finally talked to the doctor and did a full Neuro evalution at Children's so that we could know for certain that this was a medical problem. We did put him on Vyvance and now he is much more on task. The teacher sends home reports on how focused he is.
5 is a young age to sit still, but he should be grasping the concepts at this point. It sounds like he is asking for help when he says he does not understand it. You are doing all the right things, volunteering and staying active in his school. Talk openly with his teacher and ask the principle if you feel your concerns are not being heard. I know it is hard to feel like your child is struggling in school. If you need to talk, feel free to contact me. I will be praying for you. M.

I really wouldn't worry too much at this age. He is adjusting. First, he doesn't have to like it however explaining to him how important it is to listen, follow instructions and learn daily will help. Him being a boy that makes a big difference too as they are busy, active and not so likely to want to sit. I wouldn't really buy into that the teacher has all these concerns if you have seen something different when you are working in the class. I agree completely get the principal or even school counselor involved too.

I have a seven year old that is smart, however she too if bored with a subject doesn't focus, doesn't follow the directions. She is chatty and that was a huge obstacle. She was a young Kindergartener so now is just catching up socially. She gets it, is a great reader however loses her concentration if not interested.

What worked for us is the teacher in first grade would have a chart and when she sat, listened and did her work she got stars, then at the end of the day got a prize. I am not sure I think that is fair for the kids that actually do the work but let it slide. I did not really agree with this as I knew she could do the work but they felt it set her up for good habits. It worked so they must have known something I didn't! :)
In second grade the teacher sent home work she didn't get done in class. SO instead of playing after school or on weekends, she had to sit and do that work ON TOP of the 2nd grade homework she had anyway! After a week or two, of really staying on top of her it paid off. She went up THREE levels in math (which she claimed she didn't understand and hated) and now is really proud of herself. I kept stressing how important it was to learn now so it isn't harder later. So after two years of dealing with her not really focusing I see this very proud, self confident and smart kid that LOVES SCHOOL! So it takes effort from everyone not the teacher just expecting you do fix it!!

I can say too, the jump from Kindergarten to first grade is huge too. It goes from more of a fun learning to harder and more expected of them. So make sure he is ready to move up. It is a matter of CAN he do the work and is choosing not to or is he truly struggling with the work too.

The teacher should have the experience to access if is an attention problem or him losing interest problem. Did he go to Preschool, if so how did he do in there?
Some kids just get bored, which if he is smart can be a sign of being gifted. Some kids are just too busy working on social skills to listen. I think teachers are busy and sometimes way too quick to jump to it being ADHD or something like that. Make sure he isn't afraid to ask for help if he doesn't get it, that was another problem I faced. Once my daughter figured out the teacher welcomed her to ask for help instead of her trying to figure it out herself, she excelled. I think it is about maturity, why he is having issues and you and the teacher being on the same page. Make a big deal out of when he does pay attention and complete his work so he gets a sense of self pride too.
Her method of having him miss recess will pay off too! Promise.

It could very well be a maturity thing. Our 5 year old has some of the same problems. I'd check out www.interactivemetronome.com as well. It has helped our son tremendously with writing and the rest of school. He sits still better and can follow directions now, too. GL!

My daughter had this same problem in first grade. She has a really hard time just sitting there doing "busy work". But who wouldn't. Would you want to sit there and do worksheets all day. I know that teachers can't be interacting with the kids all day, but I would see if they do fun things as well. It is hard when they don't get recess because they need that break to get focused again. She always missed story time as well. Her teacher tried to tell me she had ADD. We even tried a medication, but it didn't work. I realized she was just bored. 2nd grade she had a teacher that had them do a lot of creative writing (which she LOVES) she never had problems getting her stuff done. Even now in 3rd grade she has to stay in from recess to finish the busy work. But now the teacher has her bring home what doesn't get done at school for homework. I would rather that then them missing out on the fun things during the day. So my suggestion is to see if he can bring his worksheets home, so he isn't missing out on the TRUE learning things at school ( I don't feel that worksheets are the best learning tool). Try to teach him to work quickly and efficiently too, but a lot of that I think will come with age and maturity. Another problem is my daughter wants things to be perfect. So her handwriting pages take forever because she wants them to look exactly like the example. I would definitely try to look into why he isn't getting it done and go from there as well. Sorry my thoughts are so scattered I just keep getting ideas of what to say. Good Luck! Another thing I would do is have my daughter set goals for what she was going to accomplish that day and then follow up after school. That seemed to help her focus a little more.

Hi there! I am not a Doctor but I do have to say these symptoms/complaints sound a lot like ADD or ADHD. Just in case you're not familiar with the abreviations they stand for Attention Deficit Disorder or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.Maybe Dyslexia as well. One of my five children has ADHD as well as Aspergers Disorder and it really sounds to me like the ADHD. I would recomend you talk to your doctor about this. The best of luck to you and your child.

Chalon

Hi J., I didn't read all the responses but the first thing I thought of when he said it doesn't come out right is that he may be slightly dyslexic. He may be having a problem sitting still because he is getting frustrated that he can't get it right. He might also just be really trying to get it "perfect". My 2nd son was finally diagnosed as dyslexic when he was in 5th grade and I really wish it had been sooner. I kind of feel like I failed my son in some way by not figuring it out sooner. Anyways, just a suggestion you might want to explore.

When my son was that age his K teacher thought he was just a trouble maker or was hard of hearing. There were times when he just stared out into space so she thought he was have seizures. We had him tested -- all were fine. It was a hard first year. In first grade his teacher -- bless her heart noticed the same things within the first few days and wanted to have him tested for dislexia.(spelled wrong I think.) Any way -- it turned out he was and so he was in special class through his 10th year and to look where he is now you would never now it. He is doing great and is a wonderful loving soul soon to be a father for the first time. Maybe you should have your baby tested too. It may help. His first teacher was of the older genaration but the other was younger and more paient with him. He had many of the same problems as your child. It may help to talk to teacher. When my son was tested it was done through the school so it did not cost us a dime. Check into that too. I hope this helps.

Could be he has ADHD, could be he has CAPD (Central Auditory Processing Disorder), could be he just needs to mature a bit more and is perfectly normal.

At age 5 I think it's too early to know if there is truly a problem (at least that's what I keep reading/being told). He sounds very much like my son - we get the same complaints from his 2nd grade teacher. Ironically, none of his previous teachers said much of anything, but I think they struggled with the same issues with him - not able to get started on his work, not able to focus and finish it, etc. He is 7 yr old, and was diagnosed with CAPD in Sept. We actually are going this morning for the ADHD testing (yes, the process has taken 6 months to get to this point).

The only difference with your DS and mine, is my DS does not usually get in trouble for 'not sitting still', which is often an ADHD problem (which is why I don't think my son has it, or if he does - not very bad).

Is your son young for a Kindergartner (e.g. mine just made the state cutoff by 6 days)? Could be he'll mature out of it. How are his grades? You may want to consider holding him back (we did, but the school convinced us not to). Sounds like you have a pretty decent teacher - or at least one that cares. Better to know now than later. Since my son wasn't being 'disruptive', nobody bothered to tell me he might have a problem until 2nd grade.

As for suggestions... try 'bribes'. His teacher sends home a behavior sheet and he gets a dime for every 'great' he gets ($1.00 if he gets 6 'greats' in one day, but that is rare). If he plays video games you could use that as a reward. or ice cream or some other treat. See if you can get the teacher to help. You need to know when he has good days to reward the good behavior. Brainstorm ideas with his teacher.

Other than that, just continue to talk to him about it - stress you want him to do his best, try hard, etc. You may discuss your/teacher's concerns with you Ped, and see what he/she suggests. I wouldn't stress out about it though, since likely there it is not something you can fix overnight. Even if it is something 'medically diagnosable', you likely won't figure that out quickly either. Relax, and know you are doing the best you can.

Good luck!

The teacher is either correct that he's not doing well, or she's one of those uptight people who especially wants little boys to behave like little girls. How to find out? Visit the principal, and ask the principal or ass't principal to sit in on the class and observe your son in context. Then you'll have a good idea of whether it's the teacher or it's your son. (The principal can bring a pile of paperwork, so that this isn't wasted time for him/her.)

Good luck!

Have you had him tested for dyslexia, this is about the age that it starts showing up. That could be the reason for him having difficulty. The school should be able to set up some testing for him. Just a thought!

Try changing his diet. Also, ask if the work can be sent home for you to help him with to see if you can notice what's going on. How old is he? Maybe it's just you need to wait another year?

This teacher's responses seem a bit extreme. Also, it seems a bit much to have a kindergartner having writing homework! And in fact it seems a bit extreme that he has so much work in the first place. It is really hard to say, but my gut is telling me that the problem might be with the curriculum and the teacher maybe just hasn't hit it off well with your son. Maybe you could ask the prinicpal or a counselor or someone on staff at school to sit in on the class for a bit and observe your son's behavior.

It will be interesting to see what the teachers on this website have to say about your situation.

Good luck!

it sound to me like one: his teacher needs to be a little more patient and creative, and two: your kiddo just neds the right incentive to do something he doesn't neccessarily love to do. my son kindergarten class has a colored card system. green is good, yellow means they need to check their behavior, and red the behavior has crossed the line. you might suggest this to his teacher, even if she only does it for him. at home have a reward system. if he makes it through the week with all green cards, reward him with a special treat or rent a movie or something. some people don't agree with "bribing" but i see it as a real world experience. after all would any of us want to go out and work 40 hours a week if we weren't getting paid? letter worksheet aren't super exciting, but helping him realize that it's important for him to do the work even if he doesn't like it will help him through all his school years. surely your son isn't the first kid to have a hard time focusing, the teacher needs to realize that she made need to take more initiative as well. good luck and be persistant.

This is just my opinion... The teacher should work with you in person on ways to solve the issues. Not by letter. The teacher should not exclude him in any way. It sounds like the teacher has no control with the way the class behaves. Is the teacher new? Does she have any patience? Ways to encourage him with writing... ( i have a kindie as well!) Have him write all the sounds he hears. Even if it's spelled wrong at least he is hearing the sounds. You write a word sounding out the letters, then have him write a word. I find if I trade the work with my kiddo he likes it better. Encouragement is key as well, we do high fives, silly little dance, anything to get him to laugh while we work. That way he will remember that it can be fun! I hope this helps and if you need anything else please don't hesitate to ask. I'm new to this too! R.

I had a very similar issue with my first. It was only later that I could look back and see the situation clearly.
HE IS A KINDERGARTNER - HE IS 5 -THAT'S WHAT THEY DO!!! They held him back (a decision I truly regret!!!) They wanted me to put him on "medication" which I refused. I had to fight to get him some extra help, and lo and behold, that is all he needed, along with some time to mature - all kids mature at different rates, mine just took a little longer, and now he does awesome at school. So I guess what I'm trying to say is - trust your motherly instinct - you know your child, of course be willing to keep exploring and trying and being receptive to new ideas to help him. It's a process, and you'll eventually find something that helps . Be your child's advocate -teachers/counselors are not always right! In fact, now that I have some "experience" with good teachers, I realized that his first kindergarten teacher was an impatient, quick to scold, opinionated person who should've retired before she got so bitter. I wish I would have pulled him out of her class and found somewhere else for him to be.
Get a second opinion - even your pediatrician might have some ideas. Most school districts have some type of mediation if it goes that far, but I'd say give it some time - sometimes that's all they need. Hope this helps!!!

My kindergartener's least favorite activity is handwriting, and I've been told that's pretty normal. But it's also one of the most important things for him to learn since it will affect how he communicates in every subject for the rest of his school years. A handwriting expert I met said to spend 60 seconds each day on it, and he'll be fine.

So over Christmas break we had "letter of the day." I made ginger cookies and put that day's letter on with icing, and he had to write one half-page of either the lower case or upper case letter of the day (Target sells a Crayola pad of paper that has letters and handwriting lines). If he's messing about and not trying, just end it and say "let's do it later if you don't want to try and do it right." The letters don't need to look great, just make sure he starts drawing it in the right place (like doing the vertical line of the T before the horizontal line). When he finishes his page, he gets the Letter of the Day cookie. If you have a younger child they can do different letter activity to earn their cookie.

But speaking of cookies, you can also try a week with a low- or no-sugar breakfast before school (like toast/scrambled eggs or Cheerios) to see if it's a Fruit Loops buzz that's making him distracted.

One other thing -- my son's teacher doesn't discipline them harshly for not doing their work, but if they don't do it in class, she will send it home as homework. Can you ask the teacher to allow him to have recess (he clearly has energy to burn) but make sure that unfinished work comes home and that you'll take responsibility to sit down with him and try again one-on-one. I think they eventually learn that it's easier to do it in class (especially when I have a 'no TV until the homework is finished' policy.) And you'll see which lessons he's avoiding as well.

Congratulations for going into the classroom -- parent volunteers make such a huge difference. And I hope the teacher recognizes that you're a caring and dedicated parent.