help-I Don't Know How to Tell My Husband

Congrats first of all. Remember this baby is a gift from GOD and he wouldn't haven't given you this child if he though you couldn't handle it.
I would make a card for your husband and write something silly like "opps I guess it didn't work"... then inside write "I'm pregnant again". Just a thought.
My husband also had a vasectomy and I was terrified I would get pregnant again. I was on the depo shot and had just got one when he got his done and I was really worried we used condoms for a year. The first time we did it without protection I freaked out and won't do it again. I was a wreck. But two years later I enjoying my sex life without any problems.
My third pregnany was a totally surprize for me too and I was happier though. My baby at the time was only six months old when I found out.... Yes close in age. The baby was early and the girls are 13 months apart. I really enjoy my children and you will too.
Let it sink in.
You and your husband can work out the other stuff later. Enjoy now. BTW My husband and I go on Vacation every year by ourselves. Try to work one in before the baby comes.
Good Luck and Again Congrats on the baby...

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Congratulations- wow I think God really had a plan for you that was alittle different from the one you had. I think you were meant to have three children and the last one was snuck in there at the very last oppotunity! I hope you can laugh at this all one day. It was just meant to be. I'm sure you both will be filled with joy once you recover from the shock. I would just sit him down tonight and tell him the good news. Putting it off will just make it harder. Now you can go ahead with a new set of plans that include a third and final little blessing.

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My husband was in the process of scheduling his big v when we found out a 4th was coming our way. I will be honest--I was upset, worried, esp. because we switched to independent ins. that does not include maternity! Well his response was ECSTASTIC just like he was with the others; told everyone we saw right away and called it a blessing.

My point is I was the one bothered--he had the faith it was meant to be and everything would be OK. He was right!
Like you, I had big financial plans but adding a new child to the mix is priceless--you will be able to get the new home and go on the big vacations--and it will be even better with number 3!
We now have a baby brother for our son and two daughters.
I am betting when you tell him, he will be overjoyed! I'd just tell him ASAP so you can stop worrying.

L.

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We were not ready for the third though we'd wanted more, it was just so soon.... and I wasn't happy at first. The feelings are normal. They negative feelings aren't about the baby, which will be a joy and you both will love just as much as the others, you're just mourning the change of plans.

If you're husband is like many I know, his mood will take its cue from your mood. So be positive. Think of the positive aspects, like you will have a nice close knit family, mabye even a son. And now that he's had his vasectomy this will really be it so you can now plan with more certainty.

Your family and friends just need to know that you changed your mind.... don't explain. If it had been me, I would never have told them anything... but then I had a history of lost pregnancies, and learned that for me it was better to keep everyone in the dark about what was going on or not going on with my womb for my sanity. People butt in too much where they don't need to be, well-meaning or not.

So just blurt it out to your hubby after you've given yourself a pep talk and you will feel so much better knowing you can both move ahead.

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Hi A.,

You are not wrong to feel this way. I would totally feel the same. It will be okay. It really really will. Try to tell him without getting defensive about the way he will probably feel. Let him know that you are hurting too. It is a blessing, But it also is a loss. Only in the sense that you lost a plan. The gain that comes with a beloved child will soon carry away any residual regret of having an unanticipated pregnancy. I would maybe take him out and explain that you have something difficult to talk about.
Good luck and I hope you feel well. Congratulations. Pregnancy is a beautiful state of being.
Marianne

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I figured out I was pregnant with #4 when #3 was just 4 months old. Sure you have the right to have mixed emotions and feelings. You have to decide what your beliefs and options are. You have 3 choices..keep it, abort it, or give it up...and then when you say that out loud, you realize here it is-it is yours and you will love it just like the other two. I never believed anyone when they told me having 4 wouldn't be any different than having 3. Guess what?? They were right. The same goes for having 3 vs 2.

You have one- life is busy, everything is new, and you are learning as a parent. Then #2 comes and it is a huge shock because you have two people depending on you for everything, but with #3 you have figured out all the tricks and you realize it is ok and everything is going to be ok.

Consider this your little miracle baby-had it not been conceived in that instant hubby would have been fixed, so obviously this baby is meant to be.

Vacations and new homes are all nice, but that one kiddo isn't going to change things that much and these things always seem to work themselves out. I know once #4 got here I was embarrassed by my emotions and feelings at first because I can't imagine life without her. I am sure that is normal, but we all have those emotional trips to go through.

I would start thinking blue ;P and just tell him. He will have the same emotions you have and then he will have to think about the options and then you just decide'what a happy suprise' and move on...

Good luck!

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Well I am very excited for you A.. I agree with the other responses on here. Baby #3 was meant to be. Sort through your feelings and then tell your husband. At least you already know he won't be mad. That's one worry out of your way. When I told my husband we were having #2 he left the house for about an hour and then came back and he seemed to be fine with it. Now when our 19 month old is having her tantrums I have to remind him that #2 is coming. He rolls his eyes and then we both just sort of say "oh my goodness" and then laugh. So in time you and your husband will come to grips with this baby as well. And don't worry that you aren't excited about this yet. With time you will be too. When I am doubting #2 (due in December) I just think of the days when my daughter was a tiny baby and it makes me so happy. Even though newborns aren't always easy they do bring a lot of joy as well. So think happy thought's about when your two were babies and maybe that will help.

Hang in there though because this is a blessing.
CONGRATS to you!!!!!

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A.,

My dad had a vasectomy, and 12 yrs later, I was born. (I'm the spitting image of my father, so.... no one can say it was an infidelity or anything). It was back in the old days, when their vasectomies weren't 100% dependable. But my point is.... God just plain does what He wants to do, and He must have big plans for this new little wonder that's on its way.
My husband & I also have 2 kids, and he just recently had a vasectomy after we thought long & came to that agreement together. The night he got it, I was up at 1:00 in the morning having an anxiety cry & grieving over baby #3 that will never be. Then, I realized that if God wants us to have one more (like He did w/my parents),... then He'll make it happen anyway. You guys just relax into it, and know that God wants this child here for a good reason. Maybe you're raising a future president. Or a doctor/scientist that will come up with a cure for all cancer. Oh, just please enjoy this child. For all those people who can't have any kids. Enjoy your pregnancy, enjoy your family. I'm so excited for you!

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A.,

First off...Congratualtions! I TOTALLY know how you feel! Pretty much the same thing happended to me last Sunday! I have one, only wanted one, and now pregnant w/#2.....I just told a group of friends down from Oklahoma that I didn't ever want anymore children...I jinxed myself...lol...I was in shock for a few days, but with the help of my sweet husband, and many mommy's on here I am coming to terms w/it! It's normal for you to be feeling the way you are. I am sure you are quite shocked, and had many plans, but this new blessing will just have to be part of a NEW plan! Your husband, I'm sure will understand...seeing as how he was there also..lol...Just take it one day at a time! I was so upset until about Wednesday of this week when I had to come to reality....good luck! Hope you have a healthy pregnancy!

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Hey! God works in mysterious ways. This little addition could turn out to be your greatest blessing. I'd be in shock, too, however- time will adjust that, and it MAY not be the financial burden you're thinking. Just budget wisely (www.daveramsey.com). I'm sure people you've told you were done will be overjoyed- incl. your hubby, & probably even have their own "surprize" stories to tell.

Hang in there. There's nothing to do now, but move to acceptance. Have a nice date night out together & tell him over dinner.

Keep us up to date!

D.

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Congratulations!!! Just blurt it out and tell him. I was in a similar situation almost 9 months ago (I'm 6 1/2 weeks away from delivering). My husband had said that he felt our family was complete, but I still wanted one more so we had agreed that we wouldn't do anything drastic (like a V) until our 10 month old was 2 and then we would talk about it again. Well God had a different plan!!! I was late (and am never late) and worried for 2 days how I was going to tell him I was late. I worried that he would think I had purposely gotten pregnant. Well I finally just blurted it out that I thought I could be pregnant. That same afternoon I took the test and when I called him to let him know that indeed I was he laughed hysterically. He was immediately just as excited as he had been about our others. I was the one who had a harder time getting used to the idea of another so soon. Anyways this pregnancy has been my easiest and most enjoyable so far and I have known tons of people who have said the same thing about their surprise babies. Give yourself some time and allow yourself a week or two to mope around if you want to.

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first of all, you need to tell him now. When he asks you, when you found out, and you tell him days ago, he is going to be upset and hurt that you didn't tell him. I was in the position once. Although, mine was a little different. me and my husband,(not at the time) already had my child, and his 3 children. It took me some time to tell him, and he was upset with me, but for not telling him. for some reason, God had his hand in this one. I understand about the plans, and selling the house, but honestly, you can still do all those things. It is perfectly normal to feel the way that you are, but you need to look at it this way also, God has given you one more child, and ya'll need to rejoice in that. I'm sure your children will be excited. I know that ya'll both will eventually happy about this. But please tell him now. Let me know how things turned out.

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A.,
Have you seen the movie Knocked Up? There is a line in the movie where the father responds to his son's news of getting a girl pregnant. The son is distressed because this was not "what he had planned". The father responds,"Plans? Life doesn't care about plans. You accept what life gives you,and go with the flow".
Neither of my pregancies were planned. I consider them "blessings" rather than "accidents". But that was after the fact...like you, I was initially freaked out.
I say go with the flow. Maybe God wants you to have this baby for a reason. There are no accidents in life. Not in the grand scheme of things.
Congratulations. You may not believe it much now, but you are very lucky and very blessed. :)

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Aww i'm sorry, This happened to me recently, minus the vasectomy part (my husbands been putting it off), I just walked straight from taking the test to my husband and said "we have a problem" Exactly 5 weeks ago now and I'm still adjusting to the idea of 5 instead of 4 kids ! My husband got over it a LOT quicker than I did. Just do it, the longer you put it off the harder it will be. And you know what? You're gonna love that baby when it comes (I keep telling myself the same thing!!) And yes, it is meant to be - especially if it happened right before a scheduled vasectomy.

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