We recently switched our 8 m/o son from a center he's been attending for five months. This is his first week and we already don't like it. We'd been on their list since his birth and switched because it's really hard to get in to, it's ~$300/month cheaper and is more convenient to our work. The new place is also larger and has more play options as he gets older. However, they have not been feeding him the way his schedule has been the past five months or allowing him to take two naps a day. We talked to them before moving him and asked how they deal with infant schedules and were assured that they would be on "his schedule, not theirs" until he moves into the one-year old class. He's been super cranky and whining all night, every night this week. He's NEVER this way, there is a noticeable difference that I think has to do with his changing sleeping and eating patterns. For the past three days we have gently reminded them about how he eats and what times he typically naps but they still are not doing anything. I don't want to be a needy parent but I also know that we were not having these problems at his old school. Is it too early to decide to move him back? I don't think my husband and I can take this for another three months until he moves to another classroom. Am I being overbearing?
Just to clarify, we are given a daily report of when he eats and how much, naps, and has his diaper changed. I understand the nap times may not be something they can overcome but would at least like them to TRY to put him down in the morning and afternoon. They told us that they could not put him in his crib unless he was asleep (understand that there are neglect issues that childcare centers are concerned about). We then explained that he doesn't rock to sleep, he hates that, but if you put him in his crib and gently rock his back, he usually falls asleep within a couple minutes. So we just wanted them to try it and if it didn't work, fine. They didn't want to budge. Also, with his feedings we were't happy with the quanity and times they were feeding him. His doctor has specific amounts of baby food and formula that he wants our son to eat and the daycare goes by the USDA recommendations, which are different. The bottom line is that they seem to have very specific ways to do things and don't want to work with us but rather want us to conform. I'm not against that necessarily, just that we were led to believe that they would work with us and it doesn't seem that they will.
I'm confused. You say you've talked to them you say you've reminded them gently. What do they say? do they say they aren't following his schedule or do they say they are following his schedule? I cant make an opinion as Momofone points out we dont know if they are trying to follow his schedule and he just doesnt want to sleep in a new place,
Did they give you anything to fill out as an "infant resume"? Do you have copies of what his day was like previously? Sometimes it helps to have something written down.
To be devils advocate here, maybe they are trying your sons schedule. He just may not be following it due to the new environment. I know that it sometimes can take a week or even two before things get familiar enough.
I cant imagine they are purposely getting him off a schedule he is comfortable with. I would think it would be h*** o* all the workers having a fussy, crabby baby all day.
Maybe give them another week if you can stand it. It may be the better choice in the long run. HTH
some of the issues your son is having could be simply from the stress of switching centers. he will adjust. it has only been three days. i say give him at least a few weeks to see how he adjusts to it. if you are unhappy with the care you could ask to speak to a supervisor and tell them. i think you should give it some time...
I bet a LOT of it is with your son adapting to a new center. Our kids have gone through the same. Sometimes they were "out of sorts" for up to 3 weeks. Let the staff and the child get to know one another. This is a BIG change for him, he needs to adjust. If you really like the place (taking you child out of the picture for a moment), I would give it time. Chances are, if you move him again, the same thing will happen.
Good Luck!
On one hand, I know as a provider I would attempt to keep your schedule. And yet, there are other kids with other needs too and it's not always possible. And yet, at the same time... From one parent/grandparent to another parent... Their schedules and personalities change all the time for the first few years. Just when you think you are in a great workable routine, something changes. Every new phase or growth spurt or new tooth, or new people and routines will throw off the last phase you were in.
I think that for the savings of 300 per month you can hack it. If you like the facility and the people seem attentive, give it another couple of weeks. I don't think it's the schedule throwing him off. Your little one is at a critical point in his development and separation anxiety is starting to be a factor. You have taken your child from the place he new and loved. He misses the old place. But this too shall pass. I Promise in a few weeks it will be easier.
I don't think you've given either your son or the center enough time to get adjusted.
I have always said there are two things you can't force a young child to do.
One is sleep and the other is eat.
They can lay him down when you say, they can try to feed him when you say. If he doesn't do it, there's little for them to do but try.
He might be used to doing things at certain times, but he's also used to doing them somewhere else.
He probably misses the old place. I think you need to give him time to build trust and affection for his new care providers. I think you need to not make them feel bad that he's cranky and whiney at home. I'm sure they'd give anything if he would be happy doing things "on schedule".
The thing about schedules and kids is that in spite of your best efforts, you will find there are times when the schedule goes right out the window. Kids' eating and sleep patterns change under the best of circumstances no matter how hard you try to avoid it.
The last thing you want is them feeling pressured to pressure him to do something because it will make you happy. I'm not saying your schedule shouldn't be attempted, I'm just saying that it might take longer than a week for him to feel comfortable and settle in. He's a baby.
Give it some time.
Just my opinion.
it hasn't even been a week!
have you been in there observing? if not, how do you know what schedule they're keeping to? any good daycare facility will to some degree accommodate a child's individual needs re: sleeping and eating, but remember they do have a lot of kids to attend to and it can't 100% revolve around any 1 child.
when you say you remind them 'gently' and they 'are not doing anything', what exactly does that mean? do they deny him food when he's hungry? wake him up when he's trying to fall asleep? unless they are totally lax, these are child care professionals and used to dealing a) with babies and b) with parents who 'gently' advise them. rather than trying to be 'gentle', be courteous and up front with them about your concerns. they're NOT babies. they will be happy to discuss it with you.
almost any kid will take some time to adjust to a new place. you haven't given this a fair shake yet.
he might also have other issues such a teething or an earache that's making him cranky.
if your instincts are jangling, by all means move him. you really really have to be happy with your daycare. but anywhere you go, expect an adjustment period.
khairete
S.
It takes time for an 8 month old to adjust to a new environment. I think you need to give the center and your son some more time to adjust to each other. You could ask them what they are doing to assist him with eating and napping. Find out if there is something different that is interfering, like another child near by crying.
Yes, it's too early, give it some time. They could have him on a schedule that is close to what he is use to, but he has new caretakers. New caretakers are strange to a baby. Maybe he's not sleeping as well at the new center or maybe it's taking him longer to fall asleep. If you would feel better,tell them what is going on at home. Tell them about his crankiness. Ask them if he seems to be having trouble sleeping or falling asleep. Let them tell you what they see. Don't accuse them of not following your schedule, you don't know that for sure. I would have to guess that it will take at least a couple of weeks for him to get use to his new surroundings. I have worked in a daycare center and have done in-home daycare for several years, the smallest change can throw a baby off, but they bounce back fairly quickly. Chin up! :)
part of the problem may be that while your son naps twice a day not all the children do. If he is in a large facility now there are a lot of children moving and doing things. It may take some time forhim to adjust to the new schedule. give it some time. something else that may be going on is teething, growth spurts etc. he is still at the age for two naps and will probably settle down soon into a good routine just give it some time. as far as the feeding goes how do you know that they are not feeding him the way your asking? just wondering lol
Go a bit early tomorrow and talk with the teacher and the director. Remind them of his current schedule and explain what you have experienced so far. Keep in mind that your son is going to have an adjustment period regardless of where he goes if it is somewhere new and is growing/changing every day himself. This means that he has to get used to the new setting, new caregivers, and reach his own comfort level there AND is growing/maturing everyday. They may be trying to keep him on schedule but maybe he has resisted so far.
Even if the new center were following exactly the same schedule, everything else is different - the people, the sounds, the smells, etc. If they say they are following his schedule, then it's the change. If they aren't following it, you need to know why, of course. But change takes adjustment time- maybe a week or two. Good luck!
It's been three days and your son has made a major switch. How about giving him and his teachers a chance to get to know each other before switching yet again?
They might be trying to put him down for nap at his usual time but he might be resisting. Should they just let him hang out in the crib, screaming and crying, or should they pick him up, console him, and try again later? The old school had a nice routine that your son followed but now he is in a different environment and everyone is adjusting, so give it time.
On the flip side, our son was recently moved up to the toddler room where they take one nap a day. At school he will nap 3 hours at a time and when we have him in the evening, he is so pleasant and happy. On the weekends? Forget it! We adhere to the feeding/eating schedule that he follows at school but he resists it entirely. He's more used to the school environment/schedule than the home schedule so we take what we can get on the weekends even if it isn't exactly on schedule.
Be patient and try not to micromanage. Yes, you know your child best but remember that these people have worked with hundreds if not thousands of babies and have plenty of expertise when it comes to helping babies transition to a new place.
I would give your son and the caretakers at least two weeks to make adjustments. They are learning his cues and comfort triggers...he is getting used to new people, sounds, and smells.
One of the hardest things about putting your child in daycare is learning to let go a bit. Unless your child is being neglected or mistreated, you have to let the staff figure things out with your child.
You'll find as he gets older that he may act completely different at daycare/school than he does at home. Case in point? My daughter saves ALL her tantrums for me. She is an angel at preschool.
Good luck. He'll make it through and so will you.
I have had a home daycare for 17 years now. I think you need to give it another 2-3 weeks. However, how do you know he isn't eating and sleeping on his usual schedule? Be sure you are getting a daily report of when he sleeps, how long, when he eats and how much, and when he has his bottles. Is it possible for you to drop in during the day, especially at a time he should be napping, check to see if he is in bed... if he is in bed, is he sleeping or playing... if he isn't in bed, ask why.
Stay with it for 2 wks at least. Theres an adustment peroid for everyone. Then if it is rubbing you wrong to the core, switch back to the old one. Cheaper isn't always the best.
Give the care givers time to get to know him and his habits but I think you should see if he is teething because that can make any child whiny and cranky and not eat well just clean your finger and but it in his mouth and see if he has any coming in and you got your answer :) good luck
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Give the care givers time to get to know him and his habits but I think you should see if he is teething because that can make any child whiny and cranky and not eat well just clean your finger and but it in his mouth and see if he has any coming in and you got your answer :) good luck
Move him back today- why have a cheaper place when they are so dis respectful, and they have not told you the truth- is that the care you want for your son?? Of course not- move him back today.
best, k
Trust your instincts, you will know if the school is not the right fit for your son.
No, if you don't see positive changes and the center is not listening to you, then I would take him out. You need to do what's right. I removed my kids from a preschool when they showed behavioral changes. My daughter got anxiety at night and my 2 yr old suddenly didn't like the toddler room. I did some observing before I took them out, however. I noticed that the teachers were not giving them any attention.
Are they or are they NOT following his normal schedule???
I get the impression that they are NOT letting him have 2 naps???
If they are not trying to keep his schedule, I would switch back. Do what's best for your child! You are his only advocate!
Simple answer, NO. If you can afford it, take your son back as soon as possible to the childcare center that actually cares about the well-being of your son.
