Help - a Child Sex Offender Moved into My Neighborhood

I feel your pain, I know there is a couple guys that live not far away that have been convicted of unthinkable acts. But there is really nothing you can do but teach your child how to protect him or her self, plus don't let the children be outside playing unless there is an adult present. If a community works together you can keep your children safe. the fact is many child sex offenders will go out of there own community in search of victims. On any given day at any given time just like murderer could break into your house, a child sexual predictor could walk into your neighborhood without your knowledge. Your best defense is you. Educate your children about the dangers, work as a community to make sure all the children are safe. Fence in your backyard, and invite children over on days you can not go to the park with them. Get your children involved with self defense and crime awareness classes. YOU ARE THE BEST DEFENSE AGAINST ANY CHILD PREDICTOR!!

God Bless,
S.

2 moms found this helpful

Hi B. I can understand you and communities fears of this guy but since you've talked to law enforcement and it seems like there's little they can do unless he crosses is boundaries, I would suggest you and the other families in the community keep a very close eye on this guy. Because it doesn't seem like anything gets done do people like him until they have injured or murdered a child!!!

I know that you want your kids to be safe. I have 3 and the thought process for me is he is the known factor you know who to tell your children to stay away from. What you don't know is the ones who have not yet been caught or have not registered. Okay I am a paranoid overprotective Mom. I have 2 girls and one boy. If they are outside playing so am I. If they go to a friends house and I don't know the parents really well, I offer to stay to help supervise my children and let them know they can be a handful. I prefer playdates at my house where I know what has happened. I am not obtrusive on their play, at my house if they are outside. I work on my yard. Others houses I bake and bring for adult chat to get to know the parent better.

You could go crazy checking out the sex offender websites. I did that and discovered that within five miles there were 20 registered sex offenders in my zip code alone. There really is nothing you can do as long as they are cooperating within their guidelines and restrictions. I know of a rapist that lives three apartment buildings down from our condo. I could move to the country and make my husband quit his job, or I can do what all other city parents do with their kids. Watch them and teach them about stranger danger. I realize that this is not a time where your kids can play in the front yard by themselves. Even in the safest suburbs you really can’t do that. This is reality and life with kids. You worry about them 24/7. I do not recommend talking to this person; I can’t believe other mom’s told you to do that. Just stay away from him and watch your kids. I know it sucks, I worry all the time about all the things that could happen to my kids, but I realize that I will go crazy if I don’t stop. Try to focus on what you do have control over and that is watching them and teaching them how to be safe.

They are everywhere...all you can do is check the site periodically and as your kids get older, show them a picture and the house and tell them a very bad man lives there. That is what I plan to do (my kids are currently very little -- 27 mos and 11 mos). My mother is a polygraph examiner for sex offenders in PA, Del, and MD. Believe me, there are many more that haven't been caught so just worry about those that are and you can protect against and though you want your kids to be nice to people, make sure they are wary of strangers (all that stranger danger stuff). You cannot make them move or legally harass them. When we went looking for a house (purchased last year), the closer you are to the train lines, the more there was it seems. And, there were some in nice neighborhoods as well. We have one living 1/2 mile from us and like 3 blocks from the toddler/young kid park near us. We don't like it -- but what is the alternative? Moving to a far far away burb where we own tons of land and are completely isolated ourselves....hmmmm?

I know this is really hard. We have several in our neighborhood too. I dont think there is much we can do about it. My only advice is - Do not let your kids play outside by themselves EVER! Make sure their windows are locked at all times. I always keep my kids' blinds down, so no one would know that this is a child's bedroom. Also, walk them to the bus stop your self and be there when they get off the bus.
I know it is a headache, but it is worth it, especially since you KNOW that there is someone icky nearby.

I can't imagine what they can do. The laws limit where convicted pedophiles can live and work, and publish their names online. What more are you thinking the police would be able to do? Since he's living with his mother I assume he is probably not able to work at this time (who would hire him, after all.) Where could they force him to move to? Unless the taxpayers are going to pay for his keep (I'm thinking NO on that one!)

Being informed is the best approach. I know the principal of our grade school watches the sex offender lists closely and we have both school and community email lists (formal and informal) where people share information about any strange goings-on. If you don't already have one, start a block/neighborhood email - nothing fancy, just a list of names - where you can share information on all sorts of things including, unfortunately, sometimes news about weirdos.

ETA - you might also talk to the local schools or PTOs or library about sponsoring a kidpower or similar event for parents. http://www.kidpower.org/

A couple thoughts here...Yes who would want these people next door BUT they have to live somewhere? And sorry to be the one to tell you but they are EVERYWHERE! They are at your church, grocery store, walking down the street, and driving by your kids as they play at the park. There is nothing you can do unless you want to create a "sex offender neighborhood" and I wonder who would want to live within a few miles of there? We all have sex offenders within a few miles of us and most likely some that are closer who gave not been discovered. You need to WATCH your kids and talk to then about safety when they are older. If you are this passionate about it try to get the laws changed so they must serve more time/get more treatment when they are convicted. It is sick the small sentences these people get!

Here's the first thing, don't confront him! This could be considered harassment and/or disorderly conduct and you will be the one getting a visit from the police next. I’m assuming from this guy’s past he’s probably not too shy so I would be extremely cautious when dealing with him. Meaning if you or your neighbors bother him, I’m sure he’ll have no problem calling the police on you. Unfortunately, you would be in violation. Sad as it is. But this is very important for you to know.

Here's something that may help you though. I know you said he's near but not close enough to a preschool but he also cannot be within 500 feet of a daycare provider. Meaning, a licensed person who does daycare from their HOUSE. This may be something you can look into and find out if any of those houses near him do a daycare business from their home. BUT they HAVE to be licensed. Otherwise there's nothing that can be done about it.

Here is a thought. Tell us his name, and where he lives. At least it will be out there, which it should be. It is in my opinion that when a known sex offender is living in your neighborhood, you should get his/her name out there, with an address. Knowledge is power. We may not live in your neighborhood, but, we may go there for an occasion, and we should not protect the identity, nor the whereabouts of such garbage.

I'm a pretty up-front person, so if it were me I'd personally "confront" him... in a peaceful way I'd tell him honestly and directly (and in person) that I was aware of his past and I just want him to know that I know. I'd say that given his past I expect him to keep his distance from me, my children, as well as the other children in the neighborhood. Just let him know he's under a watchful eye. That's about all you can do.