13 answers

Help 8 Year Old Boy... a "Crush" on My Just Turned 6 Yr Old?? What in the World

I just moved to FL and the neighbors son is obsessed with my daughter. he seems to have TRUE feelings for her. i dont want to hurt his feelings........i have 3 girls and dont hav a clue aabout boys. he cant wait to get home from school his mom says to come home and see her. he talks about her all the time. he comes over to "play" with her and my 4 yr olld. it has just turned into ....like. i have allowed him to come in and hav lunch w us and "be part of family" and he is very respectful and listens and wants me to like him and i do....i just dont know what to DO with him. LOL he just laid on the couch and stare at ceiling yesterday while they were ALL watching a dvd ...and then just pat my daughers back and stopped real quick. was just a litte weird!! dontknow what t o think. i will be watching though to make sure things areappropriate. thanks for any info

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I remember having my first crush in grade 1. I also remember a boy having a crush on me from the same age all through school. We were best friends all the way to adulthood and there was never anything sexual between us. All I can say is that it sounds normal. Just keep an eye on them.

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There was a little girl with amazing waist length red hair and long, long legs that attended elementary school with my son. ALL the boys were crazy about her. She was a truly beautiful girl. They vied for her attention and to sit with her at lunch...they all wanted to be her boyfriend.

They were in 2nd grade.

So, yes, children this young do develop crushes. My son, at 14, has truly had feelings for a girl (not the red haired one LOL) he met in elementary school. He is waiting (his words) until he is older to ask her out. In the meantime he found her on FB and they chat and text occasionally.

I would just watch and observe and have casual conversations about friendship and appropriate behavior. The suggestion to widen the circle of children who play together is a good one - maybe ask the boy (or his Mom) if he has any guy friends that could be included to have a better balance. Since he is respectful and listens to you maybe ask him to help you out in the kitchen, or something, so you can spend some one on one time with him and get a better feeling for his feelings. Talk to his Mom and let her know that you are sometimes uncomfortable with his attention towards your daughters - she maybe needs to have similar conversations with her son.

And if this continues to make you uncomfortable then cut back on the time he can spend at your house.

But, just remember, whatever his feelings are, they are are true feelings - children feel just as deeply as we do.

Good Luck and God Bless

4 moms found this helpful

Sounds to me like his mother encourages it and that he may just be reacting to her obvious delight over it.
If I were you, it would make me extremely uncomfortable, and I would keep a constant watch on them, like.... crazy vigilant.... whenever they were together. At his age, boys "used to" not care about girls, but now they have books, music, tv and video games that encourage them to act older and do innapropriate things earlier. So just watch them, and discourage any "Special" behavior he has for her, like the back patting thing .I would have SHARPLY put a stop to that one.
Trust your instincts. Many girls are molested or exposed to pornography first by neighbors or brothers of their friends when not being watched closely by a parent.

Updated

Sounds to me like his mother encourages it and that he may just be reacting to her obvious delight over it.
If I were you, it would make me extremely uncomfortable, and I would keep a constant watch on them, like.... crazy vigilant.... whenever they were together. At his age, boys "used to" not care about girls, but now they have books, music, tv and video games that encourage them to act older and do innapropriate things earlier. So just watch them, and discourage any "Special" behavior he has for her, like the back patting thing .I would have SHARPLY put a stop to that one.
Trust your instincts. Many girls are molested or exposed to pornography first by neighbors or brothers of their friends when not being watched closely by a parent.

2 moms found this helpful

8 years old is about the time most of my friends and I remember developing first hard core crushes. Mine was on my foxy male teenage babysitter-thank goodness he never knew and obviously had no interest in me.
In my opinion, he doesn't need to be entertained at your house all that often. Obviously your 6 year old isn't ready for a "real" relationship. Keep their play time limited and light. Or as you said, keep a close eye, it could remain harmless.

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What is unique about this? Nothing except our ideas about sexual maturity. You never heard of children who met in grade school getting married once they grow up. Maybe they are friends from other life times.
Don't know what to do. How about family outings like a hike when he comes to visit or a trip to the zoo or a museum. Widen your family's horizons and his.

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Elementary school kids do develop crushes. Even that young. Usually it's just very innocent. They hang out together, they play together. It's usually more like a friendship than anything else. More often than not, the relationship usually ends up running its natural course and they end up drifting apart. As they get older, you'll start to see them hanging out with same sex friends and it won't be as cool to have a girlfriend or boyfriend until they get to middle school age. I wouldn't worry about it. Just keep an eye on this because that's just the right thing to do, not because you have anything to worry about.

1 mom found this helpful

I remember having my first crush in grade 1. I also remember a boy having a crush on me from the same age all through school. We were best friends all the way to adulthood and there was never anything sexual between us. All I can say is that it sounds normal. Just keep an eye on them.

1 mom found this helpful

I think it is normal and sweet. Just keep an eye on things and squash any talk of "boyfriend/girlfriend"...right now and until they are older they are just friends and neighbors. Maybe also encourage other friends to come over too so it is less like he's just coming over and playing w/ your daughter but rather that she has several friends over (maybe some boys and girls).

1 mom found this helpful

Well, it's kind of cute!

If you had a boy it would be easier. But what you have to just kind of think about is that he's a kid and you treat him like he's a kid. Keep them all down in the room with you so he doesn't try to hold her hand, and tell him when it's time to go home. He's going to live beside of you for a long time, and you have to get along.

I had a boyfriend when I was in 1st grade, and another one when I was in 2nd grade - he held my hand. Kids can be sweet on each other, and it's not really that unusual. But in a few years, all of a sudden girls can become "yucky" to boys, and all of a sudden, your daughter may come crying to you that he doesn't like her anymore.

It's not a bad thing to try to figure out boys. They are so different than girls. (I have 2 boys, but grew up with only sisters.) One of these days you may end up with grandsons, so go ahead and learn now - might as well!

D.

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