Help!!! - Saint Charles,MO

You need some self control, both of you.

If you are truly spending $200 on groceries a week that is $800-$1000 a month on food. Wow. I spend about $500 a month and that includes 3 big dogs, 3 cats and 3 teens/preteens.
Beans and rice. You can do it if you want to save. You cut where you can.

Stop smoking.

Eat out once every two weeks instead of once a week or more.

Pack his lunch, or let him pack a lunch. My hubby takes a pb&j if there are no leftovers.

Pay yourself first, open a new account and start depositing every paycheck. DO NOT Have a debit card for this account.

THe birthday party. He is 1. The only reason you are having a bday party is for yourself. Make the cake and one cupcake for him. Get balloons, a gift, you can get away with less than $50 depending on what you want him to have. I would start looking at thrift stores for large Playskool Kitchen sets or what-have-you. He does not need new in a box.

I babysat while my kids were little. I went to work at the mall while they went to a private school.

The only way you will change is if you start telling yourself NO.

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Added: Okay, I found the post - here it is:

http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/10228559207666417665

Original:
Your child won't even understand the issue of a birthday party. My eyes popped when I saw you expected the party to cost $300. That tells me that money runs through your fingers like through a sieve. You need some real help learning how to manage your finances. If you don't, you will live paycheck to paycheck for the rest of your days.

First, no spending $300 on a party of any kind. All you need is your regular dinner and a cake, which you can make out of a box.

There was a post on here that I will try to find and will add to this after I find it, that gives advice on saving money.

D.

7 moms found this helpful

- Stop eating out, you can't afford it
- Stop smoking, you can't afford that either
- Cut your grocery bill by at least $50. We have a 3 year old (and 2 adults) and we don't spend $200 a week in groceries. Buy generic food items and NOTHING that is prepackaged.
- You don't need to spend $300 on your child's 1st birthday- have cake and balloons for your immediate family.

Restraint and prioritize.

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(Edited - hit "submit" too soon)
Why on earth does a 1 year old need a $300 birthday party?! Goodness, we have NEVER spent over $150 for our kids' birthdays. They will not remember them until they are older, and if you are struggling to get a place of your own, having a big, expensive party will not help you reach your goal.

But, becoming a non-smoker WILL (and will help your health). If you cut out the cigarettes you can save enough money for his party.

5 moms found this helpful

pay yourself first.

Out of each check take 250 and put it in a savings account. This money is untouchable. It's like any other bill that you pay. Once it's gone, it's gone and you have to pay it.

Go to your local DHS office and apply for assistance. You may not qualify, but it is worth a shot. Try the food bank or grow your own, to help with the food bill. Then, spend the next month or two eating "poor peoples food" It shouldn't cost 200 every two weeks for 2 1/2 people to eat.

Finally don't spend 300 for a birthday party. It's not necessary and your little one isn't going to remember. Cut that cost down to 150 at the most.

4 moms found this helpful

Haven't read the rest of the responses yet, but it would seem to me the obvious thing would be to stop smoking so then you are not wasting money on cigarettes, pay bills and put money in savings BEFORE you spend it on other things (consider that money untouchable so you are forced to live on less), and start clipping coupons and getting stuff on sale to save on groceries. I also don't understand why you need to spend $300 on your son for his 1st birthday. I realize it's a big milestone, but whatever elaborate party you are planning, he will have no memory of. You would be better off doing something very simple (bake your own cake, have family and a few friends there) and putting the money you save toward paying off your other expenses, or consider starting a college fund for him.

EDITED TO ADD: If your son is turning a year soon, he won't need formula much longer - another money saver.

4 moms found this helpful

Do you know how much money you'd save in a year if you quit smoking? Another thing your son is turning 1 he does not need a huge birthday party just mom, dad, and maybe the grandparents, a cake and a gift or two there is no need (in fact it's rather silly) to go all out on the first birthday. If you have cell phones then get rid of them the aren't necessary, is that 200 for a month of groceries or every other week? That seems like a lot for 3 people when one of them is a baby. What you listed is only half a paycheck whe is the other half going? I think you need to figure out where the rest of your money is going because with what you listed you should be able to save almost half a paycheck every pay day.

4 moms found this helpful

Here is what I do, as soon as my husband gets paid I stick 200.00 in savings. Then I budget the rest of our bills with the money that is left over. I simply pretend it isn't there. That has helped us quite a bit. Of course we had several things come up and our savings is low again, but it was there when I needed it. :)

3 moms found this helpful

Pay your bills. Every last cent after that, take out in cash. With that, divy up what you need for gas, food, and spending. You can ONLY spend cash this way, and will be MUCH more aware of what you are spending money on. Challenge yourself to have three meals a week that cost less than $8 total. Try and cut back on smoking ($80 is a lot of money to spend on something that's not good for you anyway). You can do it!

3 moms found this helpful

I would go to the library and look at Dave Ramsey, Suze Orman and find out what will work for you to get you on the road to financial stability.

A quick way to save money? Brown bag your lunch every day to work...since you are a SAHM - ensure that your BF has a lunch every day...that will save $50 a week - at least.

Your son's first birthday? Yes, it only comes once - it's more for you than it is for him. $300 - you can't afford that - then you need to tone it down and learn moderation.

If you can pay the school on a payment plan - do. Talk with them. If you communicate with them about your financial situation - you may be surprised at how they will work with you. If you don't make enough money - then see if you can apply for and receive a Pell Grant or some other type of scholarship for your education.

Talk to your insurance company about the repair of his car...if it's mechanical? talk with the shop and see what they can do for you. It's all about communication.

You need to decide whether or not you can afford to smoke. If you can't buy food for the house - then you can't afford to smoke - it's a luxury not a necessity.

Set a menu for the week. This will help you with your grocery shopping... you spend $200 a week in food?!?!? HOLY SMOKES BATMAN!!! I spend $200 for two weeks for a family of 4!!! Go through your cabinets and see what you have - then start planning your meals around what you have instead of what you WANT - the groceries are sitting there doing nothing for you and will become wasted money..

use coupons any every chance you get....buy diapers when they are on sale and use coupons for those...if you don't have coupons for them - call Huggies or Pampers and tell them you need coupons - they will send you a ton...get on their mailing lists as well..

STOP EATING OUT!!! PERIOD. Want to eat out? Go to your patio and eat...don't have a patio? spread a blanket on your living room floor.

Make a list of the errands you need to run and do them in order instead of running criss-cross around town.

if BF can take public transportation to and from work - do it.

Change the deductibles on your insurance to higher amounts so that you can save money there...

There is soooo much more...but this is a start.

3 moms found this helpful

Look up Dave Ramsey on the internet. He has a national radio show and is an expert on helping people set up budgets and stay out of debt. Look at his Total Money Makeover book/cds to get some great practical advice. He also talks about the importance of having both people on the same page regarding the budget and how money is spent. You didn't ask, but cutting out the cigarettes would save you money and make a healthier environment for your son. Check into the effects of second hand smoke--if you smoke in the car or in the house or anywhere your son is or will be, he will inhale some of those carcinogens (cancer causing residue)

3 moms found this helpful

Is there a Women's Center in your town? They might have free financial classes or free financial advisers. I'd contact them and tell them you need help creating a family budget because you will have a life change (moving) coming up soon. If they don't provide those services, ask them who does in your area. Never be afraid to ask!

Also try your bank; you're already their customer, so ask if they have a financial adviser who will sit down with you and discuss a monthly household budget. (Be sure they don't think you want the kind of financial adviser who deals with stock portfolios and investments etc. -- well, not just yet!). I'd let a professional, who can sit down with you in person, work with you on this rather than seeking piecemeal advice here. There should be free help available if you look for it.

Meanwhile, you said you wrote down what you spent, but are you sure you're keeping every single receipt and writing down what you spend if there's no receipt? Spend a week, or a month would be better, recording EVERY single penny you spend. Don't change habits, but record the expenditures you really make and don't leave out anything, not so much as one cup of coffee or one muffin or one extra pack of cigarettes.

You will see how much you might spend on things that are not essentials: Eating out; cigarettes (are you really spending only $80 a month for both of you to smoke? I'd bet it turns out to be a more; cigarettes are pricey!); coffee from a coffee shop here and there; items at the grocery store that aren't strictly necessary (magazines, hair/beauty products beyond the basics, desserts/treats, small things for your son because they're fun or a treat). Recording every single thing you spend will show you where to trim and that is money you can put directly away each month. I know you're already recording but I mean here that you can itemize everything and judge whether each grocery item, for instance, is really worthwhile.

Meanwhile, smoking really does add up, and that's nearly $100 a month (again, I'm betting it's really more) that you can save. That's $1,200 a year in the bank for your son's education, or other real long-term needs. It's a good start if you're not saving at all right now, correct? Smoking's a luxury (or an addiction) and since you want to be around for your son, you can improve your health AND save money for him if you both quit.

And your boyfriend has to record of HIS purchases as well -- no leaving anything out! He should go too if you see an adviser. This is a family thing!

By the way, a $300 birthday party for a one-year-old who will not remember it or even realize it's his birthday is a big expense you can avoid. Reduce it to cupcakes at a park and it's almost free. He won't care. At only one, he won't even care if there are no presents; you can wrap a box with a toy he hasn't seen in six months and he'll think it's new.Then take the money you were going to spend on his party and don't put it back into your monthly budget where it'll get spent some other way; put it directly into savings and forget it's there.

3 moms found this helpful

If you don't have money or a debit card with you, you don't spend it. BF can pack a lunch & have a $5 in his wallet. THAT's IT.
Look at where the "writing down every dollar" spent showed the waste was and attack that.
WRITE DOWN the budget and stick to it.

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Description Debits Credits Balance
2080/month
Rent 240/month 1840
Diapers 40 /month 1800
Groceries 400/month 1400
Cig. 160/ Month 1240
Insurance 50/Month 1190

Ok What I do is set up an excel spread sheet to do the work for me. you need to start with your monthly net income and take out everything you spend monthly, BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF. You will see with the base information you have given us I have doubled some of it for you to show the bi weekly info at a monthly info; however, you did not mention if any other info was a weekly or biweekly amount so I figured biweekly. With just the bills you have given us you can see all the extra $$ left over you have to work with. You did not mention gas for the car, utilities, etc but you getthe idea of how to figure out what you have and can use.

Idea- Babysitting is a great way to make extra $$ and your child/children can accompany you to work. I have 3 kidds and if my sitter had children (one did) I would not mind them all coming over as long as my kids are taken care of and equally the priority. If your children ruin something be honest with the mom and offer to pay for it. They will most likely not take the $$ but the offer means the world.

You could also see if you could do other work from home like medical transciption.

Good Luck.
UPDATE:
I understand Formula is expensive I was blessed to be able to breatfeed and that is free so no advise there; however, make your own baby food. Make what ever you are eating and put in in a blender or mini food processor add a touch of water or sauce mattering what it is and give to baby if there is some left over from that place the mashed food into ice cube trays freeze them then place them in labled baggies. Saves alot. If you want containers that travel then the toss and go containers are great or even small masenary jars are good too. I used to blend everything.

It is so easy to tell you to give up this and give up that if it was easy to do you would have alredy done it.

Have all your sisters and brothers make a dish to pass there food done. use the dished in the house and wash them there no cutlery costs. Blow your own balloons we all have some extra hot air, (LOL) Have the kids draw Happy Birthday with chalk and draw balloons on the driveway and sidewalk. If your street is dead like mine have them decorate the street too, there no decorations needed oh wait you said pavillion so they can draw around that. Have everyone bring an outdoor game too. Crapaper is so cheap.
Bake cupcakes on your own cheaper, already in personal service sizes so no need to cut it, and most people do not require a fork to eat one.
Try to find a park that does not charge for the pavillion. I have on at the end of my street and I love it.
Pay back school in monthly payments that you can handle.
Car well you have to have one.
Good Luck.

1 mom found this helpful

You are staying on top of things. That is good. You might be able to save on diapers by using coupons and sales. Clip every coupon you can on diapers and then start looking at flyers. When you see diapers go on sale, see ifyou have a coupon for it.

Couponing can save you money but it takes alot of time and effort. I'm sure there's alot of moms on this site who can help youget started.

Get a patch for your smoking. 10 patches in a box is $25. If you use 1 a day, that is 10 days you can save on smokes.

1 mom found this helpful

First off $200 week seems like a lot for groceries for a family of 3 - unless you are buying formula... if that is the case - take the $ you will save from buying milk instead of formula at a year and put it in a jar or saving account and don't spend it! Personnaly, I am feeding a family of 6 (2 adults and 4 kids) and we only spend $350-400 a month on groceries... which includes diapers/pull-ups for 2. So, start clipping coupons, sale shopping & watching what you buy.

Second $300 for a birhtday party - I would freek if that was my budget. A cake if bought is only $25.00 max, but if you bake it is about $5.00. If you want decorations hit the dollar store - they have lots including plates, silverware, cups and napkins... shouldn't cost more the $20 to get decorate, inventations, plates & stuff there. And get him a gift or two... have cake and icecream - and let it go... party for $100 or so if that. Put the other $200 in a jar or savings account. Honestly the best part of a first birthday is wanting them eat their own cake & making a mess of it... it's not all the decorations and stuff - he won't remember any of it, so save the money for a birhtday he will remember.

The other option is "start paying rent and utlities now"... take out of his pay check what you are going to be paying in rent at your new place. Instead of paying the landlord or utility company - pay a saving account and only use the money for emergancies or to pay for the car repair and schooling. If you can't do it now, you won't be able to do it in November either. Make it your test run - that way you don't end up being evicted from your new place and back at home with mom and dad... but you both have to be on board or it will never happen.

Good luck!

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Are you on a budget? Sounds like you need to be. While it's important to have a first birthday party for your son why on earth are you spending so much money? He's a baby? Invite people over and have a few appetizers and cake and ice cream and spend less than a $100 bucks...$300 is way too much. Also, I know it's hard habit to break but yep quit smoking or buy cheaper cigs. Also, chart when bills are due. Yep grocery shop and cut back on eating out. You will save a ton of money...But before you buy groceries plan your meals and buy what you need for the menu and nothing else. Many of the generic products in the stores are good ones. If you like name brand then use coupons. Also, create a Savings account and litterally put money in there and pretend it doesn't even exist so you're not tempted. I have a savings account I use for the soul purpose of saving. I leave the debit card at home and never have it on me so I am not tempted to use. it. Guess what the account keeps growing :) Best wishes I know it's hard but it can be done.

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It is definitely little things that add up, like trips to the drug store for something quick or little treats or special snacks. (well at least that is my problem.) Not sure the brand of diapers you get but many store brands work just as well and are a lot cheaper. Most store brand formula's are exactly the same as the popular brand) .shop around for car insurance, there is a big difference in places(i like progressive).
I think you are going to hear a lot about the high price for a b-day party for a 1 year old. To me that is way to much even with that amount of people. I think you justifying it (like it is a necessary rather than a want) makes people think that may be how you justify spending on other things in life. Of course do what makes you happy but realize that if you really think $300 is necessary for a 1 year old then you may think like that for other things to and by the responding you received it really is not necessary at all. This may be causing the money problems. We blew up balloons and taped them places or string (couple dollars for the balloon and tapes, pinata for the older kids $15-20, few dollars for candy. Older niece or nephew would probably love to make a happy birthday sign. so decorations/games under $25-30. make own cake with a box $10-15 depending on how much frosting you want.
Take $25 a paycheck and put into a saving account or jar that someone else holds onto so you don't dip into it. Even this amount will add up over time. Better than nothing. Start that now while you are working out the budget.

I know it is hard budgeting, i have the same problem, but it really is about needs vs wants. Sometimes that line is blurred. hope it works out and happy birthday to your little one and congrats on getting a new place.

Well, my kids are grown now and we have grandchildren but when they were little, my own kids, we had cake and ice cream and grandparents or aunts/uncles over and that was it. We couldn't afford parties, renting places to have the party, etc., etc. You pay the bills first, pay for food first and if nothing is left it's not there. You do without. Too bad we don't learn from our country but they are teaching us this same thing to keep spending and money not there. That's not how you do it if you want to be debt free and save money. Cut out all smoking, make casseroles to save if you can, don't buy any unnecessary food like snacks and junk food, when you go somewhere do all your trips at once if you can to save on gas. Set aside something to save each month to start out even if a little amount and then do it. You'll get in the habit of doing it at least. I would advise moving out as soon as possible to be on your own if you are staying together long term as it won't work living with family as you'll keep depending on that situation and not on true independance.

Make a budget, and stick to it. That includes a budget for the b-day party. If your family knows you're in a tight spot (and they should if you're living with BF's parents), then ask for everyone to bring a potluck dish to share (sides, salads, drinks). You provide the main dish (baked pasta (think baked ziti or similar) is inexpensive & you can make up pans ahead of time or hamburgers/hotdogs, & buns, etc.) and the cake. Make a cake yourself and decorate it--the idea is not that it be picture perfect but that everyone have a good time.

No eating out--you want pizza, well it's way cheaper to buy the pizza shells & sauce & cheese (on sale!) to make it. You can make 2 pizzas for $5-7 (or less) vs. $15-$20 for one at a restaurant.

Buy generic. We buy Target brand (Up & Up, I thinks it's called) diapers. You can buy generic shampoo, pasta sauce, etc., & save a ton.

Pick only free activities for you & your family to go to (ie, story time at the library, getting free movies from the library, talking walks/hikes/visiting parks, biking, etc.) Most cities offer free activities, like free concerts etc.

Borrow the book Tightwad Gazette from the library. It has tons of ideas on how to save.