Help....

Updated on April 07, 2008
D.N. asks from Santa Maria, CA
32 answers

How do I get my 15 month old to stop nursing? She doesnt like bottles, but she wants to nurse to go to sleep. I dont even have much milk anymore...whats the next step.

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L.H.

answers from Las Vegas on

Who is the adult in the house? No is NO!!! She may cry for a couple of nights, but if you don't give in she will understand very soon that this is the way it is.

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C.S.

answers from Honolulu on

I started weaning my son at 15 months. At night we used one of the sippy cups that didn't spill so he could have water. I was worried about the transition, but once you do it, it's not so bad. Kids adjust quickly. He was completely weaned at 18 months and also fully transitioned from the bottle to the sippy cup at the same time (accidentally - we went on vacation, lost the one bottle we brought on the plane and never went back). He asked about his bottle, but we just said all we had was a sippy cup and after a few days, he stopped asking. It was pretty easy.

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K.V.

answers from Los Angeles on

Have you tried the playtex bottles, the nipple is the most similar to breastfeeding. Also at her age, you could supplement 1/2 apple juice and 1/2 water in a sippee cup... when she realizes that she doesn't have to suck to get the goods there, she will have an easier time transitioning. By 10 months though, she doesn't necessarily have to have a bottle, I had my kids start with bottles and sippee cups at 8 mo. and by 10-12 mo. it was easier to go with the non spillable sippee cups. :)

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H.M.

answers from Honolulu on

for my first boy i went away for the weekend and when i came back i drank sage tea which dries you up and it turns the milk bitter.i also put a mild mixture of water and gse(grapefuit seed extract)on my nipples and told him the milk had gone yucky. it worked but kind of harsh.i am in the same position as you now.i have a 13 month old,not much milk and he wants to nurse all night.he wont take a bottle and wont drink formula.i may resort to the same method.good luck to you.

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B.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

I had the same problem. My daughter would only nurse, no bottles and didn't really like baby food. I have been donee nursing now 2 weeks and she is now 16 months. I started actually 3 weeks ago and got her cut down to once in the morning and once at night. Then after a week I had to cut her off completely. I started giving her more regular milk in a sippy cup and then I would hold her and rock her to sleep. It was hard the first 2 nights because she would cry and then finally go to sleep and now she lets me rock her and she goes to sleep. She is eating more regular food now and drinking whole milk. I hope this helps. I didn't know what I was going to do that is why she nursed so long. I would wean your baby though so you won't be in as much pain and try cutting back first.

B.

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S.C.

answers from San Diego on

Im not the expert but I remember nursing both of my children at night to put them to sleep-she doesnt need the milk at night or a bottle what she is really craving is the nurturing-I received a tip from a lactation nurse at church-get a bed time routine going-nurture and spend time with the baby right before they go to sleep-I wore a regular bra and a tight button down blouse and made it almost impossible for them to get any-i explained that it was all gone and they were older and with that the nursing was stuff of babies but now they had moved on to other better and greater privilleges such as special story time with new fluffy bear or blanket!-every night I spent 1/2 hour just with them in their room they each had a security blanket and they got to pick which bed time story we would read. my husband and I took turns and gave them lots of hugs and kisses. make a big deal about them getting taller and biger and smile, let them see your joy always! my children are now 14 and 12, go to bed on time and happy and still remember the bed time stories!

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J.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I stopped nursing my first around 16 months. It wasn't to bad. I would walk him, and sing to him. The first time he kept pointing to the rocker, and and saying "Ba Ba". Thats what he thought nursing was called. I just kept patting, and singing and he would pass out. I thought it would be a lot harder, but it was not bad at all. They say after about a week...it's usually a pattern.
Good Luck, Jennifer

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B.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

If you wean, do so gradually. I recommend you read "How Weaning Happens" by Diane Bengson for tips. As for your milk supply, it will respond to your baby's demand.

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J.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

D.,
Wear the same shirt every night, to bed, for about a week. DON'T wash it. After she nurses, let the "milk drops" be absorbed by the shirt. About a week later, start giving the baby your shirt after you nurse her. For example, on the first night that you try this, feed her for, almost, the whole time you would usually feed her. But, pull her off with five minutes to go and place the shirt between the two of you. Put it right up in her face and help her "cuddle" it. The smell is what she associates to you. This is a long process - you can't do it in one day - that's what "wean" means - keep that in mind when you are getting frustrated. After about a week and a half, you should be down to feeding her for 1/2 to 1/4 of your usual time and in its place, you are giving her the shirt and cuddling her, holding her. I would even put her down to sleep with the shirt. GIve it a try.
J.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Hi...just a tip: if she doesnt' like bottles, and you don't have much milk anymore... then what is she drinking? You need to be sure she is getting enough intake...meaning milk or formula? She's on solids by now for sure... but up until 2 years old.. a child needs to drink WHOLE milk... they need the "fat" content in it for proper brain growth and proper development. Is she getting this? This is important.

As for "weaning" her from breast... there's lot of resources online....just do a Google search and type in "weaning from breast" etc. For me, I let me daughter and son "self-wean." I did have milk still, so that was my choice. Everyone is different, just go according to what is best for you and baby.
Good luck and take care,
~Susan
www.cafepress.com/littlegoogoo

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M.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

D.--First off, congrats to you for breastfeeding for so long! I had a rule that at my babies first birthday they were cut off. That being said it was a transition. Your baby sounds like she/he is not in it for the milk but for the routine and the security. None of my three girls (ages 15 yr., 5 yr., and 3 yr.) ever had a bottle. Skip the bottle and make a big deal out of the big girl/boy cup. My girls loved the idea of using a sippy cup. As far as the nursing for security, try to ween just to the before bed feedings or simple rock him/her to sleep holding him/her very close (this may upset him/her at first but eventually they will get the idea that this is almost as good.) A lot of the problem is they are used to a specific routine, most babies don't like change so keep that in mind. Hope this helps, and good luck!

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M.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi. I don't have an EASY answer for you, but what finally got my daughter weaned (at age 18 months!) was when my in-laws came to visit us for five days. We were out of our normal routine, taking little day trips, and the excitement of having her grandparents around distracted my daughter from her usual nursing habits. At that point she was only nursing out of habit when she wanted some comfort but I wasn't having any luck putting her off on my own. The day we went to Disneyland I realized on the drive home that we'd gone all day without nursing. We got halfway through the following day still without any nursing but by then my breasts were full and painful. I had to pump a couple of times over a day or two to relieve the discomfort but after my in-laws left my daughter never asked to nurse again. So this is not the easiest thing to arrange, but if all else fails, try planning a weekend or long weekend either away from home or have a big family get-together at your house and distance yourself from your toddler a bit during that time. Might work!

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E.H.

answers from San Diego on

I had to tell my daughter that there was no more milk. "All gone."
E.

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T.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Go to a cup/sippee cup and a pacifier. Some babies have an overwhelming need or desire for suckling (I had one of those) and I had to try about 100 different pacifiers before he liked ONE of them. It was difficult. He wouldn't sleep without being on me.....and then, the pacifier changed all of that. Good Luck and God Bless You!

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T.G.

answers from San Diego on

At 15 months my son showed no signs of stopping the booby juice either, but I got hospitalized for a few days unexpectedly and I couldn't nurse him so he was weaned by the time I got home. It was brutal at bedtime a few nights for my husband but after three nights without me, he was weaned. So, I'd recommend getting away for a long weekend (skip the getting hospitalized though if you can) and tell Daddy good luck. Hope that helps. It was worked for me and maybe it could work for you.

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M.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi,
I really feel for you. Weaning my son was one of the most difficult things I had to do. It was so hard to have him cry and not let him nurse. It had been such a bonding experience for us.

My sone was 18 mos when we did it. What I finally did was have dad help out for a little while. If I help him, he would tear at my clothes to get to the breast, and it was really hard. Dad helped out with the 3 am wake up. Eventually, once he stopped getting the breast at 3 am, he started sleeping through the night. Prior to that, I had been a human pacifier for him. Quite honestly, it was okay with me, but then at 18 months, my milk started running out, so I just figured it was time.
Also, I did not give him a bottle. He had never had one to that point,nor a pacifier, and I personally preferred to not start them now. He went straight to sippy cup.

I must also share a funny story with this. My son continued to try to persuade me to nurse him for quite some time after. I used to explain to him that my breasts did not have milk in them anymore, to which he replied, "Okay, how about juice then." I still crack up over that one.
Well, good luck. And how great that you nursed for 15 months!

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V.A.

answers from Santa Barbara on

Hi D.,

I can only tell you what worked for me. I let my daughter nurse until she was ready to quit. She had a few sips at bedtime and when she woke up until she was 4. It was very soothing for her and a great bonding experience for both of us. Also, it was useful if she became particularly agitated during the "terrible twos". She wasn't doing it for the nutrition but for the soothing.

When my daughter started pre-first, at 5 1/2, after about two weeks a teacher came up to me and said: "I can't believe how well adjusted your daughter is." She's now 24 and has no problems with self-esteem. In fact, she didn't even during her teenage years. I don't know if the nursing was the reason but I tried not to put my own agenda on her for that or for potty training. We just succeeded when she was ready.

V.

V.

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C.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

I JUST went through this with my almost 19 month old who didn't want to stop. It's just something YOU have to be ready to tackle. I said I was going to stop at a year and a half, but my heart was breaking; she was soooo attached and it was all she wanted. Granted, she took several bottles and I was down to 2 nursings.
When I decided it was enough, I just did it. I bound myself TIGHTLY with Ace bandages and took a lot of Motrin. You'd think it wouldn't hurt so much because your milk was already drying up, but it does, believe me. I used ice packs, also. It seriously took me 2 weeks to be discomfort-free. It was just time for us and she is TOTALLY FINE. Good luck, Mom!!!

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J.D.

answers from San Diego on

Have you tried offering her sippy cups with milk in them? I can't be more help because I only nursed for about 4 months but if theres no more milk than there really isn't much you can do. you might have to just go cold turkey at that point.

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S.T.

answers from San Diego on

My daughter was roughly the same age, a few months older when I pulled the last of the feedings which was the night time, go to sleep nurse. I used to give my daughter a sippy cup filled with milk and rock her. It was a rough but after a week or so it was over. We just replaced the nursing time with a sippy cup/rocking time. She was never one for bottles but she did like the sippy cup. Good luck to you:)

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D.S.

answers from San Diego on

Hi D.
There is no reason to stop nursing unless you want to. Your body will produce milk according to the demand, so if you nurse once a day it will supply milk just once a day. If you feel it is just time to stop, try a sippy cup or have a snack at the table and then hold your daughter for a while so she gets the "cuddle time". Although she is still getting great immunities from your milk she probably loves the closeness that it brings, especially right befor bed.
Best of luck,
D.

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E.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

I nursed my daughter until she was 2 and this is how I weaned her: I took a weekend away! Yikes! I had to go to an out of town wedding so she stayed with her fun cousins and that was it. I know your DD is still a wee one, so this might not work...I also employed distraction, DH putting her to bed, and lots of cuddling and hugs.

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S.F.

answers from San Diego on

My youngest is 3 years old. But from what I remember I just quit when I was at that point. I started giving my son a sippy cup with milk in it and reading him some books. Then I would brush his teeth and put him in his crib. The first night there was crying but it was maybe 15 minutes. ( I drank a glass of wine with my husband:-)) The second night the crying was less than that and I think the crying only lasted 3 nights or so. It became a routine to read - and he hardly drank the sippy cup so that went away soon.

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B.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

My husband and i switched rolls to put our son to bed. That way he did not want to nurse. I just left the house for the first two nights and let them do their thing. THen i stayed at home after that while he put him to bed and by the next week i was back to putting him to bed myself.

With my daughter i left her with my mom for a weekend. That worked out great.

Good luck
B.

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C.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

Drop her off at a grandparents house or someone like that. Leave and let them put her to sleep. I did this with my daughter at the same age for two nights in a row. Then on the third night I rocked her and held her. Even though she fussed and it took quite a while to get her to sleep, I did not nurse her. After that she was fine and never really asked for it again.

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K.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

I let all four of mine quit on their own, reducing their time on the breast to sleep times only, they eventually will stop, the bigger deal you make about stopping, the harder they resist. Cuddle time, with a stuffed animal and blanket, also, temporarily sleeping with them helped mine develop their own way of self soothing that didn't involve my breast. I am a nursing advocate and believe that they quit when they are thru, they are not the "boss" they are children who need their mom. There are studies out there that show the nutritional needs of babies change over time and your milk is tailored to those changes, longer nursing is better, even if you think there is no milk, there is. Oh, my kids nursed from 18 months to 3 1/2 years, actually closer to 4. Okay, yeah, that's a bit long, but looking back I would not have changed a thing.

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J.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

Change the night time habbit, give her milk in a sippy cup while you read a book or sing to her while rocking her to get her to get sleepy. Then put her to bed like usual. Don't change the habit to rocking her to sleep if she is use to being put in bed and left to fall asleep on her own. she is getting old enough to start reading to her and the comfort of your voice is reasuring. You can also try having daddy but her to bed for the next couple nights it helps if you are not in the house because if you are she will cry for you and your milk will come in. You can just go sit in the car or the garage and read a book. It usually only takes 3 to 4 nights and they are use to the change. But expect crying and alot of it, sometimes this is easy and sometimes they give you a fight.

Good Luck! JP

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J.T.

answers from Las Vegas on

Hi D.,
Great job nursing to 15 months that's awesome. My first baby I nursed till he was about that age. You can pump a little milk and put it in a sippy cup and let her drink before bed. There's all those transitional sippy cups now that have soft sips. Most pediatricians say take them off a bottle and use a sippy cup after 6 months anyway so I wouldn't worry about the bottle. Obviously the nursing when she wants to go to sleep is a comfort thing, my second baby is 11 months and he is the same way.
It took me a month to wean my baby and I just started with not nursing him before his nap. I did that for a week and then every few nights I'd put him to bed without nursing. It took time and was frustrating and they cry so if you are going to wean her be sure that it's what you want to do because otherwise it's easier after listening to her cry to just nurse her because you are both tired. If you choose to wait to wean, studies have shown that breastfeeding the second year is good for their brain. You can always go to the La Leche League website and read up on weaning. Good luck and wonderful job!
J. :)

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C.K.

answers from San Diego on

My husband started the night routine after I said good night to my 3 and 18 month old. He would hold my 18 month old (whom I was still nursing before nap and night-time sleep). He would say prayers and then sing to them. As long as I was out of sight, it wasn't a problem.
My husband was always envious of my ability to nurse and put the children to bed, but this allowed him to be the "sandman" and he loves it.
good luck

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L.M.

answers from San Diego on

Try having your husband put him/her to sleep for a couple of nights. Also, try adding some other special night time activities....ie....cuddling with his/her favorite snuggly and reading a bedtime story. Good luck! My oldest held on until 14 months, when I finally ran out of milk she took a sippy.

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M.L.

answers from San Diego on

Uuggg, I feel you hon. My son was 2 when he finally quit and it took me getting extremely sick and in the hospital to do it. If you can get away for the weekend that will help. Also, start letting dh put her to bed. She is going to cry, so if you can't handle that then leave the house and do an errand or go get a coffee, visit a girlfriend; anything so you're not available to nurse her.

It's hard, very hard and some kids take it easier than others. I wish you all the luck.

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B.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

The next step is not going to be easy. First of all, you have to recognize that you have trained her to need to nurse to fall asleep (I made the same mistake when DD was 4months, but I broke it right away). Secondly, you shouldn't be weaning her to bottles because she is too old for bottles, and you should definately not be giving her a bottle to fall asleep- should I list the reasons? 1- she has to learn to fall asleep someday without fluid in her mouth, 2- it's bad for her teeth... etc, I'm sure you've heard it all. To break the habit first prepare yourself- she will cry. Then try to find something she has an attachment to, like a blankie, a toy, whatever you think might work; essentially you are replacing yourself as her comfort item, and she will eventually learn to use this object to self sooth. Then, when it comes time for bed, just rock her and be very firm that she can't lift up your shirt. If you doubt that you will be able to do it, have your husband rock her for the first few nights. There's no need to put her in bed and let her cry it out, but it will take a lot of time and patience on your end- basically rock/hold her until she is calm, then lay her down, but if she gets upset again go back to her. It's best if you can avoid picking her up and instead lean over and console her while still in her crib, but if she is still upset once you have tried that you can pick her up. It shouldn't take longer than three days, though- for more info look for The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg (or I think she has a toddler book that might be more appropriate).

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