Help, 16 Month Old Not Sleeping Through the Night

OMG-I am going through the EXACT same thing right now. My son is 17 months as he wakes up about 4x a night and will not go back to sleep unless I rock him (and as soon as I put him down-he starts crying again) or if I let me SCREAM it out and go in and soothe him every 5-10 min or so.
He will not let my husband do anything to soothe him so it solely lies on my shoulders-I am exhausted.
The only thing I have found that eventually works is to go in every 5 min when he is screaming and soothe him-do not pick him up. Only say its ok we are here etc.
Good luck-let me know if you have any luck with any of the advice you get. I surely need it!!
____@____.com

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Our daughter did the same thing and just recently stopped. She needed a bottle to fall back asleep. We think it was teething as nothing else made sense to us. We changed her diaper and gave motrin- good luck!

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C.,
My son started having sleep terrors at the same age. He had surgery prior to it, and I've heard that either the trauma of the surgery at such a young age when they can't understand and/or the anesthesia can be a trigger. He really DID look awake, and on some level could recognize we were there but "where" he thought we all were was not reality, but his dream state. He would even say "mama". He was Dx'd with the terrors and they continued off and on for another 2 years. Now they are few and far between. Our doctor was adamant about not leaving our son to 'cry it out' because if he was in a terror he could very seriously hurt himself by trying to 'escape' whatever he was afraid of and attempting to get out of his crib/bed. It IS like a sleep walking stage. We also were told to absolutely not use the Ferber method with him because if he fell asleep in fear or upset, it was only making the whole situation worse guaranteed a night of terrors.
Only YOU know what feels right for your family. The medical community knows very little about sleep terrors. There are a lot of alternative methods but they seem a bit out there. I've tried most of them. Some help, some not. Keeping a routine and never letting your child get over tired are crucial.

My child did sleep in his own crib in his own room almost immediately coming home from the hospital and still does, of course at almost 5,(but in a bed!)...however, I did always go to him to comfort him in the night if he needed it. But we were not into cosleeping as a practice. I prefer to sleep in my own bed, w/o my child, frankly. Here is food for thought: I find it sort of hypocritical that as parents, WE sleep not alone but usually with a spouse/partner, and if WE have a bad dream in the night we roll over to our spouse for comfort, or get up turn on the light and get a drink of water, none of which our child can do. Yet we expect them to just lay in the dark, alone, with no comfort until morning when they have a bad dream. For our convenience.

Best wishes and follow your heart,
L.

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I am going through the exact same thing right now TOO!

My daughter is about 16 months as well (sept. 12 is her b-day), I put her down at 8 PM, like normal and she wakes up at like 9:30 or 10PM! My husband goes in there and she freaks out even more. She started doing this maybe 3 weeks ago. I can't let her cry because she ends up vomitting on herself, which will then wake her up totally because I have to bathe her and make her crib up again. I have been trying to just sit in the room with her, talking to her. She takes a little while to relax. A few nights we have bought her into our room with us, but I don't want to get into that habit since we have another on the way (just like you TOO!) Anyway, I know it takes time with, but he will grow out of it soon. Good luck!

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I think its highly unlikely that it is night terrors. After infancy all humans sleep in cycles. After the 4 stages of sleep we wake and return to sleep,this happens several times per night. The reason why so many toddlers have sleep problems is bc they are unable to soothe themselves back to sleep. How are you putting him to sleep? Is he rocked in the comfort of your arms? If he is not put in his crib and to fall asleep on his own then he may be relying on you when he wakes in the middle of the night. One book on toddler sleep compared this to, if you went to bed in the comfort of your own bed and woke up on the kitchen floor in the middle of the night.
Your best bet would be to establish a routine that is consistent every night. For example, Wined everything down with quite play for about 10-15 min. you can give him his last bottle of milk at this time. Lower the lights a bit for cues that the routine is going to begin. Don't let your husband engage wild horseplay during this time. Then give him his bath and brush teeth. Finish with a lavender lotion massage. Read 3 short books, prayer, lulibbies then lights out. HE may cry the first few nights but he will learn quicker than you think. Refer to Ferber's progressive settling technique if you feel like you can't let him cry without checking on him. Here is a link. http://www.swsahs.nsw.gov.au/karitane/docs/sleep.asp

I know this is beside the point, and forgive me if I'm overstepping my bounds but I've been where you are with your child not wanting to be comforted by your husband. It's horrible to deal with in and of itself! Especially with a new baby coming soon, you need to do everything you can to get your son used to being cared for by your hubby. I know it is hard to do but if you can, go out and leave your husband to spend more one-on-one time with him and make him bathe him and put him to bed all the time. You are really going to need his support very soon!

As for waking up at night, I would guess night terrors or teething. If he really wants to be comforted, Daddy has to try to do it. Just tell him that Mommy is in the shower, out, whatever and that Daddy is here for him.

I wish you lots of luck!

sounds to me like night terrors - a good way to test that theory - (and a great time of year to be able to test it) when this happens - walk out side into the cold air - if it night terrors - it will jolt him out of it - both my kids went through it. if the cold air jolts him out of it - you should be able to settle him down. night terrors are so scary b/c they almost look right through you - they aren't even fully awake (almost like sleepwalking)

also the thing with hime only wanting you - its probably related to the new baby coming - i agree wihtthe previous advice - try to get your hubby to have some one on one time with him before and after the baby comes - you should try to do the same thing - he really really needs that reassurance that you aren't "replacing" him

good luck and let us know how it goes
S. w

Is he sleeping during the day, if he is, keep him awake all day.
If not, maybe you could shorten his bedtime, keep him up a little longer at night. My son had about 12 hours at night and 1 in the afternoon. He never woke at night. Also make sure he's on a good schedule keeping the same times for bed and eating. That can throw them off big time. Good luck

Ugh, I understand exactly what you are going through, my 18 month old was doing that for a while and would not let his Dad console him. We both work so it got very exhausting after a while and we started bringing him to bed with us again(not a good idea).

Eventually when we realized he was having terrors, we would not wait to go in his room, but go in immediately and try to comfort him. It didn't work at first, so I sat in is room for a couple of nigts while he cried it out and tried to soothe him by talking to him softly. After 10 minutes he would fall asleep for the night.

Then we started going in as soon as he would get scared, tuck him in, tell him it was ok and that he had to go back to sleep. He also has a Mickey doll that he sleeps with to comfort him so I make sure he has that as well to cuddle.

It is not perfect idea but it worked for us. Remember too, at 16 months they are teething a lot and going through different phases, so if nothing helps at least know it will pass.

Good luck, and let us know what happens :)

Dont let him cry it out if your not comfortable with it. I think there is a brazelton method for helping them get back into their own bed. Either way ease him back into bed may work better. Go in and comfort him for ten minutes then put him back in his crib. Give him a couple of minutes or so then go back in. We've also tried hugging them and then putting them back and then sitting in the room with them for a while to wean them off us having to hold them all the time. It takes a long time this way but gradually you wean yourself out of the room and they learn to be comfotable with it at their own pace. Good luck!

How awful for you, to endure that nightly. Does your little one have anything for comfort? We have Mr. Bear and occassionally a binky to calm our little guy at night. I want to get rid of the bink, but only at bedtime works as a great comfort for him. Anyway, I wanted to tell you about a video monitor that we have & absolutely LOVE! Our little guy would get more upset when I would check on him & leave and the video monitor became such a help. We watch him from our bed and can see that he is safe & sound just a awake rolling around. It is comforting to know that he is safe - it won't help the wake ups, but could help if he is able to settle and you choose not to go in and check on him.

I'm not sure why you think that his ability to recognize the difference between parents indicates that he isn't having night terrors? Perhaps the terrors involve his dad (this doesn't mean that his dad has done anything wrong...kids minds can do interesting things...but I would explore any chances of a man at daycare having scared your son).

Have you tried bringing him into bed with you when he wakes? That might allow you both to get the most sleep possible. I'd also encourage you to sleep with a stuffed animal for a few nights so that it gets your scent, then put it in the crib with your son so that perhaps that scent will calm him in his sleep.

Hugs!