YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! :) My 20mo son is EXACTLY the same way. I call it "high spirited" but it's really screaming/kicking/fit throwing hell. I know he's just slipping into his terrible twos at this time and that it will pass, but it's still frustrating. My first child (he's now 7yo) was so quiet and never went through this phase in any significant way so I was totally unprepared for when #2 morphed from my sweet, precocious little baby boy into this whiny, ear-piercing ball of frustration and anger. It's too bad we're not closer together, we could lend each other a lot of support I think. I also have no family or close friends here (except for a couple of neighbors, but none of them are SAHM's and they're sooo busy all of the time).
Here are a couple of things that might help:
1.) Remember that this is a phase. She's seeking independence and fearing it at the same time. She wants more control over her universe, but isn't mature enough to understand why thing have to be the way they have to be.
2.) Try to find a few ways each day to let her have control. With my son, I let him pick out his own snacks (from my pre-approved selection of course) and I let him pick out his own clothes. He likes to hold/fiddle with things that I don't want him to have (my phone, the OPEN bottle of bubble solution etc.) so I find ways to compromise with him and at the same time show him why I didn't want him to have them to begin with. (I gave him my old phone when I got a new one, batteries, charger and all to play with which he breaks and has to put back together, I take him out in the garage where I let him carry around the open bubble bottle and when he invariably spills it, I show him what a mess it is and explained that the bubble are all gone now and no one can play with them. I ask him if maybe it's a good idea for mommy to hold them next time...maybe he gets it, maybe not, but it makes me feel like I'm making progress.)
3.) Really, really pay attention to her. A lot of their frustration at this age is the inability to effectively communicate what they want and need. Get down on her level and listen to the sounds she's making. Listen for word-like sounds and ask questions about what you think she might be asking for. With my son he'll say something that I recognize, like juice, but then he doesn't seem to want it. I have to work to figure out that this time he wants me to give him the empty cup with the lid off so he can play around with trying to get it back on. It can be as simple as that. Also, the more you pay attention to her (including giving her a puzzled look and big shrug - big expressions are key - and saying "I don't understand" when you can't figure it out) the more she will realize that mommy is on her side and she just needs to try to ask a different way. It takes time, but this is the most effective method I've found. Get on her level, try to get in her head and help her learn to communicate more clearly.
4.) Find some time for you. I had trouble with this since I homeschool my oldest and coach his soccer team. My husband works and spends three hours a day commuting, he also has to work out since he's prone to high cholesterol and blood pressure, and he's going to school full time to finish his degree. We were stuck. I had NO way to get a little time to take care of myself. Finally, we found the YMCA. The family membership is a little expensive, but it's worth it (and I only had to have a family membership because my oldest is school age, you could get a single membership which is less expensive). They give you three hours a day of free child care as long as you stay in the building. This gives me the chance to work out, swim (which is my Zen) or just sit in the cafe there on the Wi-Fi with my laptop and go through my e-mail without my little one screaming at my elbow. I have found that giving myself this break a few times a week helps me to be a better mother since I get a chance to recharge and I'm not constantly worn to my breaking point (which my son, and apparently your daughter as well, seem adept at).
I hope you were able to glean a few nuggets of value out of all of this. Message me if you'd like to stay in contact. I think it would be nice to have another "stranded" mother of a terrible two to commiserate with.