29 answers

Head Lice - Oklahoma City, OK

My 9 year old has been scratching like a monkey lately so I checked him out and sure enough found head lice. I understand that these things happen and I treated the problem but I have an even bigger problem...my ex husband. We share custody of our son and we went through this earlier in the school year, I treated my house twice and I'd be shocked to find that my ex did at all. A few weeks ago I asked my ex to check our son out because I had noticed him itching before his dad picked him up. He claimed it was just dandruff and shaved the boys head. I got so angry, I tried to calmy explain that this is not a solution and when his hair grows out the problem will be back. I got out the vac and cleaned and did all the linens in hot water and checked both my head and my partners. We were fine. Then I noticed the itching again. Not only did my son indeed have lice, I called my ex to let him know I found a live bug (that just makes me shiver)but I asked him to please call his mother (my son stays there a lot and was just there over the weekend) but I also asked him to call some friends of his that our son had stayed with over the weekend. I told him I would pay for the shampoo to treat our son but please take care of your house...vac, laundry, check his and girlfriends heads. I gave it a few hours and called my ex mother in law to see if my ex really did call her, he didn't. She was shocked when I told her what had happened (please understand how much this woman hates me too so this was a hard call to make). Next I had to make the call to my ex's friend that my son had spent the night with. First he had heard of it as well. I can't believe that someone would think it unimportant to call these people just because they might be embarrassed. Fine, ex is a jerk. Whatever. My problem is that I know my ex will not treat his home and I'm sure my son will go to bed in his infested bedclothes and I don't know what to do about it. I can't have this back in my home. I'm seven months pregnant and can't keep up with this, I also can't make him vac and do laundry, nor can I break a custody agreement. Any advice?

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thank you all for your advice and support. I have called my sons summer program as well as everyone I have access to that he has been around to give them the heads up to look for lice. I have also used the RID shampoo on my family and cleaned, cleaned, cleaned. I'm pooped!!! I just wanted to point out that I recently read on the CDC web site that the lice sprays for beds and furniture don't really work and are toxic, they recommend vacumning all surfaces. I've spent two days picking bugs (skin crawling again) and nits out of his hair and today I took him for a summer burr haircut. I am a poor med student and I have zero cash for a lawyer but I have contacted legal aid but I am still waiting for a call back. There are many other reasons I want to go back to court for full custody and this is just the latest. I am just horrified at the laziness and lack of respect for my son, the people he has been exposed to, and myself that my ex has shown. I feel I have done all of the hard work so it really shouldn't be too hard to just do the boys linens and vac. I don't think my ex and his girlfriend are at too much risk, the ex wears 50's grease in his hair which the bugs can's live with and I don't think the girlfriend has any head to head contact with my son. My partner and I are clear as well. I will use the tea tree oil method and keep his hair close cropped all summer and hopefully this will be the end of it. Thank you all so much and please keep posting any advice.

Featured Answers

S.
Tea Tree Oil works wonders. You can put it (About a teaspoon)in the shampoo, it makes it slightly oily but it leaves a sent in the hair that the lice do not like. They will not get in his hair. This is how I finealy broke the cycle.

H.

More Answers

just easier & cheaper ways to treat the lice:
use mayo & put it all over the hair & use a shower cap or saran wrap & leave it on at least 30 minutes. It suffocates the bugs & helps the nits come off easy. then use the nit comb to comb it out & wash it of course. If you don't want to do mayo, which I can't stand that smell, use a mixture of coconut oil (i found it in the organic section of grocery) & suave coconut shampoo. And do the same as the mayo.
Another method is to pour off about a tablespoon of shampoo of a new bottle & put apple cider vinegar in it. This is one a doctor told a friend of mine to do & just wash the hair in that every time.
My pediatrician said to use the mayo & shower cap & let them sleep with it in their hair.
(My twins have had lice several times, first when they were 22 months. We are almost 3 now, it is NO fun with lice!! I feel your pain!!!

Don't have any advice about the ex, sorry.

2 moms found this helpful

I honestly can't say this is good advice....but it is advice. First of all I would be getting compensated for the costs of the lice treatments by the ex. Secondly, I would be speaking with an attorney about 'shared custody' with someone who seems to care less about his sons comfort or well being. Be sure after spraying lice spray on stuffed animals, toys, and any clothing that cannot be washed in the hottest of water to pack those in garbage bags and be tied shut for at the very least two weeks. Treat pets as well! And this has worked for my grand-daughter and grandson...After treatment, put olive oil on the head and a plastic cap to sleep in. This really does work while waiting for the lice and nits to die off for a couple of weeks. Also Tea Tree Oil is good just leave it in and fyi don't do a lot of headwashing. Lice do not like oily hair! As for the dad....surely he has head lice by now? If not I'd make some kind of arrangements to see that he gets them....sounds a little vengeful huh? But why make a child suffer and possibly get ill? There is always the option of a doctor or DHS becoming involved due to the pregnancy and ultimate health problems from using the chemicals.
B.

1 mom found this helpful

There is a product called NIX it is reallygood when my daughter was 6 weeks old there was an outbreak in her brothers school . The boys did not have it thankfully but our peditrician told me to wash their hair in that because the residue would stay in there for 7 days after they were treated to prevent them from getting them.

1 mom found this helpful

Notify the Court of your ex's refusal to take care of this issue - it's a health issue and they will take it seriously. Also, contact the Health Department. Contact an attorney, you may be within your rights to keep your son away from your ex until he "cleans up his act" - that's just irresponsible.

S.
Tea Tree Oil works wonders. You can put it (About a teaspoon)in the shampoo, it makes it slightly oily but it leaves a sent in the hair that the lice do not like. They will not get in his hair. This is how I finealy broke the cycle.

H.

I think I would have to stand my ground and not let your son go until you know for a fact the home and cars have been sprayed and cleaned. It is not only for your sons welfare, but for you and your unborn baby. You should not be exposed to those types of chemicals at this time.
As for your ex... seems quite irresponsible if he didn't contact the family or friends. He needs to realize that lice left untreated, can cause sores on the head and neck area and then a secondary infection could happen that could then lead to scarring. He wouldn't want that for y'alls child or themselves.
I believe the eggs hatch every 7 days, just like fleas and roaches. So the egg cycle has to be broken. It has to be treated every 7 days for 3 weeks, that is what I would do.
All I can say is pray for a peaceful solution.

Well I think this is a good reason to break the custody agreement. My step-daughter's mother breaks our custody agreement whenever the mood hits her. It is good to hear a Mom concerned about not breaking it for once, but you actually have good reasons. Talk to a legal advisor and see what they say. He could take you to court, but if he does I believe the judge will see you are only trying to protect your son and immediate family.

Good Luck - I know dealing with your ex-spouse is very difficult.

Yes. I had exactly the same problem. I lost friends and family members who would not treat their homes properly. I spent a year and a half and over 3 grand treating my home before I realized that it was coming in from familiar places. Your ex will not change his behavior without extreme intervention. Call the department for children welfare in your area and have his home inspected. Then go back to court with the evidence. Save your receipts from treating your home. If that doesn't make him change his behavior, nothing will and you'll just have to wait it out. Wish I had better news.

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