He Was So Done, I Was So done...but Now

I'll share my own experience from the other end, just for encouragement. I am adopted (at about a year and a half) and was taken out of a really, really horrible situation. I am still very grateful to my parents (adoptive parents) for adopting me and raising me as if there were absolutely no difference. As an adult I've had the chance to meet my biological parents, which makes me even more grateful to the parents who raised me.

Please consider adopting! :)

What a great thing to be considering!

Because you have other children, I would go with adoption. They will benefit from welcoming a permanent member of your family. Any difficulties in acclimation will be worth it in the long run.

With foster children, if they are difficult, that will affect your kids. If they are wonderful, it will affect your kids when they are eventually adopted and they have to process the loss of a loved family member. Foster parents are amazing people who do such an important job. But with your little ones, it may not be the best for them.

Good luck!

I think since you have young children of your own, I would go the adoption route.

I have friends that did both & it seemed to be safer for the younger kids they had at home to go the adoption route.

The ones that had foster kids had a rough route (& sometimes scary
route) with the older kids they took in around the young children.

I commend you! What a good person you are!

My friends are looking to adopt children from foster care (when they are released). It can be a challenge because sometime the families come back and you don't get to keep the children so you will want to be very clear on your placements. My aunt and uncle tried 3x to adopt domestically before they decided they wanted a child whose parental rights were not in flux. They went overseas and adopted their son from an orphanage. Other friends have done so as well and the kids' ages at time of arrival were between 5 months and 3 yrs. I would start by talking to others and going to informational meetings. You won't know what you're getting into until you do some research. The world needs foster families, but are your hearts looking to be temporary parents to many or permanent parents to a few?

I agree with other moms about adopting. Being a foster parent is a wonderful gift but you are right. Foster kids need a lot of positive attention and it's easy to see how young children would be jealous or insecure with a new person getting mom and dad's attention especially because foster kids are usually not left in the same home for long. Adopting is a permanent sibling that 'belongs to' your family. Fostering is wonderful but is best done when your own children are old enough to really process it all. I have a girlfriend who wanted to expand her family after her kids were getting older. At 40 she adopted a little boy from overseas. At 43 she adopted a second and is in the process of adopting a third one. It's been wonderful for her marriage and her biological kids. Open your home to a child who needs one. In giving birth you give someone the gift of life but that's not enough. Children need a loving home and parents who guide them to adulthood. We all need to feel like we have a 'home' within our families. Your family can be that home to a child who's bio parents can't provide it.

After 2 high risk pregnancies with my boys, we still had a girl-sized hole in our hearts. We prayed about it and felt lead to adopt a little girl from Guatmemala. Adoption is not for wimps. The paper work is a part time job in itself. Our adoption took 2 years from start to finish. We lost our first referral after visiting her and spending a week with her in our hotel in Guatemala. With our second referral (my now daughter) we were told we might not be able to bring her home as the country was closing it's adoption process and it was a race against the clock. It also ended up costing a lot more than originally planned for. For a couple years we were on a very tight budget. The process made me a wreck....I was really depressed and irritable for about an entire year. But, the minute we brought my baby girl home, it was all worth every tear. HEre is our adoption video we put together for the first weekend she came to church with us after her homecoming.
: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48VVWs1mSJM

I met a couple who had adopted. I wanted to know what you had to do to become an adoptive parent. Hubby and I went to the state children's home adoptive agency and inquried. I figured we would get a child in about three years. Well, we had a baby in about five months from the time we inquired until we got a baby.

The agency asked if we wanted an older 3 to 5 or a baby. I stated a baby because it would not be fair for me to have a 3 year old and not know the workings of a baby. We just were lucky - baby came about through a monthly meeting of all the local adoption agencies in town, we received baby about three weeks before our second wedding anniversary (2 year minimum) and have had him ever since. He will be 39 this year

We gave a child a home that would not have had one or would have been lost in the system. Three years later we had our natural child a girl. So we have one of each. I tell they are special because they both have papers (adoptive (son), citizenship papers (daughter) she was born out of country. Of course daughter (soon to be 35) keeps saying we got a bad deal on son and should have returned him to the store for a refund.

It's a special thing to adopt and make a permanent home. It is a special thing to be a foster parent. I couldn't do the foster because I have a hard time letting people go once I get attached.

Go with your heart when you are ready to expand your family.

The other S.