He's Biting Me! OUCH!

Hi K.,

Another possible "why" for your son's behavior...

He's becoming much more interested in the word around him. He wants to play and interact more than ever.

Around that age, probably a little earlier, my daughter would latch on, pull back and shake her head like a puppy with a toy. Not comfortable.

If he doesn't have teeth yet, I agree with the suggestion to pull his face in closer to you. He will release quickly, won't be able to nurse and won't have a fun reaction from mommy. If you think he's still hungry, make him wait a few minutes to go back.

Best wishes!

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This is very common especially when teething! Gently push his head into your breast. His instinct will to be let go to get air and then pull him away. Tell him not to bite and make him wait a minute or two before nursing again. If he does it again, make him wait 15 minutes or so before attempting again. They learn very quickly that biting is a no, no.

A.

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My doctor told me when they bite to stop nursing and yell firmly, but not too loudly, NO. And not let them nurse for a little while after. With both of my kids, they only bit me hard once each. Every now and then they would do the pulling, nibbling thing too, but that was probably related to teething as you mentioned. It was hard to be firm like that with an infant, but they can learn cause and effect at that age and you want to stop the behavior quickly. I was able to continue breastfeeding and they never did it again. Can't say that I wasn't worried they might though. ;)

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K.,

Your instincts may be correct: either he's teething or trying to signal that he's all done with the nursing relationship. And you mentioned that it's become stressful for both of you...hmmm, that's a tough one.

I know that it's hard for us to reconcile our desires to nurse with what our children might want. But I also think that our gut feelings and intuition give us a lot of guidance.

So I'm not going to give you any advice other than to check in on your own feelings when you have a few minutes of peace. What seems true to you? Is your son acting like a teething kid, or does he really seem ready to let go of the nursing relationship? Some children become so engaged and active during this time that it's very hard for them to stop and nurse. This is okay; part of their own temperament and development.

And if this is the case, what can you do for YOU? Surrendering a nursing relationship for the health of your overall relationship is hard. Maybe you want to take a night out with a few mom-friends to talk, cry, or process this change. Or go buy a few cute bras and tops after your body adapts to not making milk. If nursing is truly over, give yourself a chance to move through your feelings.

And you can create other rituals with your son that will still encourage that sort of closeness. Snuggle time, reading stories, wearing him when you are both in the mood...

You have two little ones, so I'm going to assume that your Mama-Intuition is pretty darn good. There's nothing else I can suggest, other than accepting whatever season it is in your family's life and feeling whatever emotions come up. It can be so hard to let go of nursing, but it's also good to trust our child's cues and to let them grow in their own way and own time.

And if it is teething, you might try popping him off the breast(with a finger to break the latch before removing him) and firmly telling him to be gentle. (I've had mixed results with this, but it's hard to 'correct behavior' in one so young.)In the past, I've seen some people recommend flicking or otherwise hurting biting children, which I strongly disagree with...this is not the "acting out" biting of toddlers, this sounds more like he's communicating something to you in the only way he knows how.

My best!

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He could be weaning himself. But remember that as they get older, they become very efficient at nursing and don't need as long to get as much. My advice is to stop as soon as he bites.

Hi K.,
I loved the support of our local lactation specialist. Is there one in your community? I found out that one of my guys was yanking on my nipple as a way to help bring the milk down faster.
I hope you get the help you need.

A little about me: Marries, work p/t fraternal first grade twin boys.

Poke him in the cheek with your finger when he bites. I read that suggestion here on Mamasource when my baby was still nursing, it worked for me :o)

To the person who is "shocked" at the name of the baby in question:

I am shocked at your response to a question regarding nursing, and offended. Who are you to judge what another person names thier child?!?!?!? A name is a name and nothing more, it does not "carry energy" for "thousands of years" and will not effect his future or profession in any way. The future of this child depends on his parents and upbringing and the love, support and education they provide for him and based on his mother's attidue, this baby is not lacking in any way. With the guidance of loving parents he will have a beautiful future ahead of him.

This is a forum for mothers to ask advice on issues regarding mothering. NOT for you to impose upon others your religious (and somewhat rediculous) views on the history of a baby's name. Please keep this type of opinion to yourself.

Sounds like what my son did when he was teething. We just pulled him off and told him "It's not okay to bite. That hurts Mommy. Ouch." every time he did this. Your son probably understands more than we think he does. Soon you should be able to just pull him off and say "Ouch!" He'll get the point. If his little mouth is hurting and that's why he's wanting to latch and chew, you could try to give him something to chew on. Don't know how you feel about pacifiers or if he'll even take one... ours didn't like his paci. Otherwise, give him a cooled teething ring or washcloth dampened with cool water. Last resort, you could give him some baby Orajel if he seems really uncomfortable. Take heart, you're doing great!

My son started biting occasionaly at 8 months and by 10 months was biting hard at every feeding. I finally went to pumping exclusively for another 2 months until he was one. It was a hassle, but worth it. Good luck!

My son did this when he was teething and I had to start giving boundaries. I took the nursie away immediately for a second every time he bit me and he learned VERY quickly that if he wanted to nurse he had to try to be gentle (not that he was perfect by any means). I also started giving him a homeopathic teething gel which helped TREMENDOUSLY. Go to the natural section of any grocery store and look for Boiron products - their teething gel and pills and Calendula lotions are life savers.

My son nursed till almost his 3rd birthday, a full set of teeth and all.

He might be teething. Also try to check and see if enough milk is coming out -- just because you can squeeze milk out doesn't mean there is a plentiful supply. You should be able to express or pump milk in sufficient quantities, I would say at least an ounce or two but this is not a scientific answer. When my milk supply started to dwindle I thought I was fine because I could express a tiny stream at a time, but I have since read that this does not satisfy baby and for them is like trying to suck a meal through a tiny straw, so they protest. Hopefully he is getting enough milk, but I would check just in case.

He is definitely not weaning -- completely child-led self-weaning happens on an average of between 3-5 years!

A suggestion from Dr. Sears is to actually press the baby into the breast, and that will block his nasal passages briefly and force him to let go in order to breath. (Sounds drastic I know, but keep reading.) This is actually better than making loud noises or angry faces because the baby could end up being afraid to nurse. It is also a basically loving gesture to bring baby in closer to you, rather than pulling them off.

Don't give up!!!

First, know that this truly is a phase and it will pass.

A couple things to try:
1. tell him "no" firmly and put your breast away (even if just until the count of 20) If he wants more in a few minutes, let him have it.

2. tell him that it hurts and again, pull him off etc.

3. pull him into your breast so that his nose is blocked for just a moment. it'll cause him to open his mouth to take a breath and he'll be able to relatch. this sounds mean typing it out, but it's actually a very gentle thing and recommended by lots of AP parents

4. This is what worked for me... It hurt enough and surprised me so I yelped. It surprised my daughter so she came off and it gave me a chance to tell her it hurt which she understood and was receptive to.

Some recommend not responding because then kiddo thinks it's a game, but it's really knowing what works best for your son and a trial and error process. Good luck, but definately don't feel like it's time to give up! You can also check the La Leche League website for more ideas at llli.org

This is very, very common and something that 99% of nursing mamas go through :) My little girl did start gnawing down on my breast as she started to teethe.

Please don't give up nursing. Your little guy is definitely not self-weaning yet. They usually don't SELF-wean at this age unless nursing is very scattered and inconsistent. Breastmilk is amazing and sooooo much better than anything else you can give him at this time. It'll give him important antibodies for fighting sickness this flu season, so hang in there! :)

One thing you could try is this:

When he bites, very softly press his face closer to your breast, so that it covers his nose. This should make him pop off because he can't breathe (do not hold him there, let him pop off/back off). He'll seek out the breasts again, and if he bites again, do it again. Consistency/routine is the best teacher for babies/children. Eventually he'll get the connection and stop biting. It's much nicer than flicking the poor child for something that he doesn't know is wrong :(

Another thing is something called a "nursing necklace". It is a necklace that baby can play with while he nurses. It's more for keeping them from pinching your breasts while they nurse, but this may also distract him from biting.

Also try http://www.kellymom.com - it is a GREAT site for breastfeeding information and sources.

This happened to me when my daughter was at about 12 months. I know it can be SUPER frusterating and absolutely horrendously painful. So, what I did and I got this advice from my lactation consultant friend, is to say a big "NO" and put your child down and walk away. I only had to do this probably 2 times before she really understood that it was a big problem. It sounds pretty harsh, but I wanted it to stop, so I felt like I had to do something severe. I am not sure if an 8 month old would understand as much, but I think walking away really makes a physical point. Good luck to you and great job breastfeeding! It is the best thing you can do to start him off down a healthy road (especially during flu season!). Oh, and ya, my daughter is 2 years old and I am still nursing her in the mornings. I really don't think that he is trying to wean himself...maybe trying out his teeth on everything...but not wean.

I think all the ideas I have might have been covered but from what I have heard there are a few possiblities

1) teething
2) distraction of other things going
3) change in let down from you leading to a little frustration on his part.

All are very normal and is you stick with the nursing you'll get through it.

No matter the cause, the actual biting is not O.K. As soon as he bites tell him "nursing/milk is all done" and remove him from your breast and put him down. Just for a minute but remove all physical contact from you. Then try again..repeat and hopefully he'll get it.

Good luck

Tell him No!! Take him away from the breast for a moment when he bites and tell him no when you do it. They don't know that they're hurting you until you tell them and remove them from doing it. He may be teething as well. I nursed my 3 kids well after 12 months of age. And yes they bit and it hurt, but it didn't last but a week or two of telling them NO! and taking them away from the breast. He's learning. You're probably telling him NO! for a few things around the house, when he pulls all the magazines off the coffee table or tugs on the drapes. This is how we teach and they learn the meaning of the word.

Best of luck and many more months of this special time with your son.

Hi K.,
I can sympathize with you! I went through this too. I figured out, after trying some different strategies and boggling my mind as to why my son was doing this, that he was indeed teething. I think he was around 9 months when this started and he even had 1-2 teeth in front. It hurt! But, it didn't last long and we still continued to B/F til he was 18 months.

I never liked the flicking of the cheek or pressing their face into the breast (even though I tried both). I would try the 'blowing in the face' technique that someone else suggested. Then maybe take him away for a minute, tell him 'No Bite' and then try again. I know it's fearful to bring that sensitive part of your body to their potentially biting mouth!! But, if you want to keep breastfeeding, I'd give it a little time and trust that you WILL get through it. You also might check with your local La Leche League to see if they have any advice. Good luck!

Hi K.,

I went through this with both of my boys. They both were early teethers and I think that had a lot to do with it. There are many different techniques, most of which are posted below, but the only one that I felt comfortable with was to do a quick and strong blow in their face right under their nose, and calmly, but firmly say "No, owie!". Sometimes I would wait 5 minutes or so before trying again. The blowing should make him inhale and can be a little surprising which will prompt him to stop biting. (This is the same idea as the flicking of the cheek thing, which I never liked.) This technique admittedly worked better with my first than with my second. Occasionally I just had to breath through it and get my finger in their mouth and squeeze it between their gums to get them to let go. I do remember it being extremely painful and extremely hard to remain calm, but if I did not remain calm, it would get worse. I did continue to nurse both of them through it, but it was a very trying process.

As for what you should do, all I can advise is to trust in your own instincts and do what you feel is right, no matter what other people say. I personally think that's always the most important aspect of being a mom.

On a side note, I have my third one due in 6 weeks. I hope he doesn't do that same thing!

Best of luck to you!

He could be weaning himself, but it is probably just a phase. He is more aware of what is going on around him so everything is a distraction. Teething definitely causes them to latch on differently as well. I know there are some days were it seems all my son wants to do is play with my breast instead of eat. Be patient. Maybe try nursing when he is calmer- sleepy or in a soothing, darkened environment.

Hello K.,

There are a lot of reasons your baby may be biting you. If you want to breastfeed for the health value, I suggest you pump and give the breastmilk in the bottle.

If you want to breastfeed for bonding reasons:

Look for signs of teething
Try feeding him a few minutes earlier he may be very hungry
Try giving solid foods before breast feeding
When he bites say "Ouch"! give a sad/hurt face and say "Please don't bite"

Good Luck-

R. Magby

K.,

Both of my kids would try and bite me while nursing. They were a bit younger though, about 4-6 months. I got this idea from my sister in law and it worked well for my kids as well.

If/when he bites you while nursing flick his cheek and sternly say No! Bite!. my kids figured out quickly that if they wanted to nurse they had to not bite.

Some of what he's doing may be teething, it may be frustration that he's not getting his food fast enough, that he's starting to wean. It could be almost anything.

When my son was about 9 months old he weaned himself. I realized he was done nursing when it became a fight between us to get him to nurse for even five minutes. When we finally gave up and agreed he was done we did use formula till he was one year old. He's fine now.

Hope this helps,
M.

When my daughter was 10 months old.... the second time she bit me... that was it! We stopped nursing COLD TURKEY! As she is now 18, I dont remember the details, but that will stick with me forever. That was so painful! Good luck!