23 answers

Having Your Mom Come to Help After the Baby Is Born...

I am due with baby number 2 at the end of July. For those of you who had a mom, or other person come to help you out after your baby was born, what length of time did you find the most helpful? Obviously, I welcome the help with house cleaning, cooking, and an extra set of hands to help with the new baby and our toddler ...and just the company of family in general...but I'm wondering what an appropriate length of time is? The first time round we didn't have family come because they were overseas when I gave birth so that was that. This time, my parents will be coming but we live in a small apartment and I'm trying to figure out what will work best in terms of appreciating the help but also not feeling like it's too much...(both for them and us). I was thinking of having them come 3 or 4 days before my due date and then staying 2 weeks. What worked best for you?

Thanks!

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Featured Answers

I had my mom come after I came home from the hospital, I had one night of just us at home then she came up to help. She stayed for about a week usually just enough to help get settled and get to hang out with the babies. I dont think it would be a good idea to have someone come before you have the baby unless you are on bed rest or something but then I dont like a lot of company.

1 mom found this helpful

My mother came to help me for 1 week (5 days). I had a C-section with my second, and she helped me until I felt better which was about 3 days. That's all I could take with my mom living with us, but I know she meant well.

More Answers

What gave me the most help was having my Mom fly in 2 weeks before child #2 was born. Those last few weeks were really tough, as I also had a 14 month old. And my little girl had never been in the care of any one other than me and my husband. So those 2 weeks allowed my daughter to transition to Nana taking care of her prior to me "leaving" for 5 days. Plus, it gave me time to take a nap or two!! Then, my Mom stayed 2 weeks following child #2's arrival. (My Dad flew to be with all of us after #2's birth and flew home with my Mom.)

My Mom's only "job" was to help with child #1 (she didn't do any cleaning, any laundry, any cooking, etc.) Those things would have been REALLY nice, but handling a young toddler was enough for her. It's worth noting that my Mom may be a bit older than yours -- mine was 65.

My personal opinion is: keep her as long as she is willing to stay!!! (And, of course, as long as YOU are comfortable.) I thought that going from 1 child to 2 was much, much, much harder than anyone had told me it would be. I don't know if it's because my 1st was so young...but I think it's tough for everyone. Also, my Mom was long-distance, so the lengthy time made a bit more sense for us -- she wanted to get to know her only Granddaughter better than she did, as well as meet her new Grandson.

Good luck to you and your family!!

2 moms found this helpful

I had my mom come after I came home from the hospital, I had one night of just us at home then she came up to help. She stayed for about a week usually just enough to help get settled and get to hang out with the babies. I dont think it would be a good idea to have someone come before you have the baby unless you are on bed rest or something but then I dont like a lot of company.

1 mom found this helpful

When I had my twins, I wanted my mom there for two weeks. YIKES!!! My husband sent her home after a week. She was driving us both crazy, and I think we were driving her crazy. How much time will your husband have off? Have her come to stay after he goes back to work, but you won't need her more than a week is my guess. It's great to have help, but you don't want to overkill because it can damage the relationship just a bit (like ours did). We are expecting baby #3 in June, and this time my parents are taking my two year old twins and I'll be home with the newborn. I think that will work out much better for us!

1 mom found this helpful

Can you afford to get them a hotel room? If not, can your husband stand to have them in your house for that long?

1 mom found this helpful

My husband stayed home from work one week after I came home from hospital with each of our three babies; My Mom came for one week from out of town; My MIL/FIL came from out of town (I got tired trying to host them and needed to take more time suggesting how they could help...when you ASK for specific tasks to be performed, people are much better at helping). Its important for grandparents to meet their new grandchildren and give TLC to the siblings of new babies.
I agree with the suggestion about having hotel as alternative to get you more privacy if this is economically feasible for you.

1 mom found this helpful

with my second I was being induced so my mom and A. came out to stay the week. Thinking I would be home after two days I thought that would be enough. HA! I went into the hospital on Monday and left late thursday...they left Saturday morning. I was a little distraught and freaked out to know I only had her for a day. Although...I will say my house was clean, my daughter had much needed time with grandma. I would say two weeks, same as most post.

1 mom found this helpful

My mom came for 1 week. I was blessed in that my husband had a few weeks off after each baby was born. With #3, he had 2 weeks (he had 6! PTO with the first two!!). So, with my third, my husband took off the day she was born (obviously) and it happened to be a Friday. My Mom came down over the weekend, and stayed till the following week. Then my husband took his two weeks off after she left.

She cooked, did the laundry, took my son to preschool, took my son for walks while my two year old, new baby and I slept. She cleaned, and held the baby while I showered and cared for myself.

Two weeks would be great for you, your husband and other child.

1 mom found this helpful

I only wish I could have had my mom to help out after my kids were born but sadly she passed away when I was pregnant with my first. My MIL however did offer to come help. My husband was home for a week after the kids were born and then my MIL, who lives in town, came by to help out during the day for the next 2 weeks. She wasn't there all the time - mostly from like 10-3 or 4 so some housework could get done, shopping, etc. After that I had pretty much gotten a routine down so I was able to cope throughout the day but she was kind of "on call" just in case.

1 mom found this helpful

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