Having Trouble Breastfeeding, Need Some Advice

Hi K.,

You are doing the best you can for your new little girl, Madison! Congratulations! If you want to breastfeed, there are La Leche League leaders available by phone 24 hours a day, and meetings near you. The Denver Metro phone line # is ###-###-####. The website to find a group near you is http://www.llli.org/WebUS.html. Leaders can help guide you through proper latch technique. There is a great video showing proper latch and positioning here: http://www.ameda.com/breastfeeding/elibrary/videos.aspx.

You can pump a little before Madison nurses: this will do two things - help "deflate" your engorged breast a little, and get Madison to the let down stage, where your milk flows faster, like she's used to with the bottle. When you do use the bottle, you can be sure to hold it horizontally and make her suck for the first couple of minutes to better mimic what she has to do at the breast to get milk flowing.

The tube that someone described earlier is called a supplemental nursing system (SNS) and can be helpful if baby is wanting the fast flow of the bottle and you are transitioning back to the breast.

You can also call a lactation consultant - La Leche League can give you referrals to IBCLC (Internationally Board Certified Lactation Consultants). If you call your hospital or doctor for a referral, make sure the person you are referred to is an IBCLC, as there are people who can call themselves lactation consultants who don't have the same degree of training that IBCLCs have - IBCLCs have years of training and exams to pass, some lactation consultants without the IBCLC designation only have a weekend class. If you're in the Denver area, both Bosom Buddies and Sweet Beginnings have IBCLCs that work out of their businesses. I believe some do home visits.

Good luck with everything, K.. As someone said earlier, if you want to breastfeed, you need support and accurate information in getting things back on track, but the effort is soooo worth it if it's important to you.

Smiles,
H.

1 mom found this helpful

My daughter had some high jaundice levels when she was born, it might not have been as high as yours, but not once did they tell me to supplement, I'm kind of wondering why they told you that? There may just be some information I am missing from your story. So I give this only as my opinion, you can take it or leave it. I can't imagine why formula would be better than breastfeeding for a jaundiced baby. It sounds like if you are engorged you are definitely producing enough. As some people have already said, is breastfeeding something you really want to do, if it is keep at it and it will be worth it. One thing you can get from breastfeeding that you can't get from formula is a stronger immunity for your baby. But if it is too stressful for you, you don't have to feel guilty about giving it up. It is always a personal choice, what will really matter in the end, is if that baby knows they are loved.

Hello K.,

First off, I am sure that you know any feelings we have can be passed on in our milk to the baby.?

Second, relax! After supplementing she could be still confused about what she is supposed to eat.

Make sure she can get ahold of your nipple and keep the hold, otherwise she will lose interest. It is tiring for a baby to try and keep the nipple in the mouth if the nipple won't cooperate. So hold your nipple between your index and middle finger, the whole time she is eating if you have to.

Amd relax. If she needs the supplement now, then let your milk dry up.

Good luck

I would suggest seeing a lactation specialist. Breast feeding is so good for your baby, and for you too. You might try supplementing by using one of those tubes that you feed through right next to your breast. Maybe that will interest her again in breast feeding. She is probably just going for what is easier. My daughter would nurse pretty much only one side for the first few days, she would kind of take the other, but not well, and she would scream when I tried to make her. But I just kept trying, calming her down and having her do it again and after a while she took to it. If you think its a problem becasue you are engorged try pumping a little bit and then breastfedding her. You might also try holding your breast between two fingers to help her position it in her mouth and to help keep it there. Good luck.

Congratulations on your little girl! Ultimately it is up to you if you want to breast feed or not. A lot of the times babies will like the bottle better because it is easier to get milk from. If you want to bf then you can get help, I would bet your pediatrician would have some good local numbers for you. If you dont want to bf and you are so stressed out that you cant enjoy your feedings with her then switch to formula and the bottle. I understand how hard of a decision that can be. I wanted to bf but my little girl had jaundice and on top of that had no interest in eating and a poor suck reflex. I became obsessed with her eating enough. I pumped for a while but became so exhausted from our routine ( it took an hour to feed her, by the time I was able to get her to sleep and pump I had maybe 1 hour of sleep before we started the cycle again. I figured any breast milk was better than none so I stopped and started using formula. It was the best decision for me. I soon found myself enjoying our feedings more. Dont let anyone guilt you into staying with bf if you dont want too. It is better that you enjoy your time and dont stress, than what you feed your baby. You've pumped some and you have done wonderful. Kids will grow up just fine on formula too. My daughter was formula fed and she is almost 6. She is healthy, smart and happy. ( My friends that bf have kidos that get sick all the time) I think it is just in our genes if we have a good immune system or not, so dont let that worry you. If you do decide to bf than take it one week at a time and remember its ok to change your mind. Good luck to you and best of wishes.

This is a decision you are going to need to make and make it at 100% I had some major issues with my son the first 2 weeks and i started supplementing formula but my issue was he wasnt latching on right and i cracked and bled and feeding him hurt worst than anything I could have imagined. I was scared of having to feed him but i really wanted to nurse him. My sister told me to either give him the bottle or the boob but not both. Finally i decided that i was going to nurse him and that was it. He fussed for a little bit but would finally latch on. If you know she is getting hungry pump just a little bit and get the let down to happen so she doesnt have to wait for it maybe that will help her latch for longer and stay happy. Eventually you can do boob and bottle but definitely not at this stage in life. A baby wont starve themselves and will eventually get hungry enough to latch on and eat. Best of luck to you!!!!!!!!

Hi K.,
Congratulations on your new baby girl!
You have gotten lots of responses, which I have not read, but I just wanted to toss in my opinion. If breastfeeding is important to you then by all means keep trying to see if you and your daughter can work this out. Breastfeeding is difficult at first, especially in a case like yours, but if you are willing to put in the time and effort, chances are it can work for you. Don't be afraid to ask someone for help, call the nurses at your hospital or ask a sister, mom or friend who has breastfed. If, however, you would prefer to forget breastfeeding and switch your daughter to formula, then do it. Formula is a wonderful option. You said in your post "I want to enjoy my time with her rather than worry about this" and I think you are right, just do what feels best to you and don't let anyone make you feel guilty for whatever you choose.
Enjoy your daughter, they really do grow up way too fast!

have you tlked to the lactation people they are a free service at the billings clinic no matter where you delivered. They help alot you might need a nipple shield I had to have one and it no big deal it made it alot easier for latching on too! Good luck!

Hi K.,

I see that you have rec'd plenty of advice, and I haven't read through all of it, but I wanted to share my personal experience.
With my first daughter we supplemented a little bit initially because of jaundice and then I breastfed exclusively for 3 months. When I went back to work I wasn't sure what to do. I started supplementing with formula and sort of mindlessly decided to wean her. I struggled with the decision and sought the advice of a friend's wife who is a midwife. I am forever grateful for her advice and encouragement to keep breastfeeding and pump at work. I nursed my daughter for 10 months and now she is 5 and so very healthy. I really think I gave her one of the best gifts of health that I could. So! I would really ask you to not give up on breastfeeding - keep giving her your breast. Supply and demand. She will come around - its nature! She is probably confused between the bottle and your breast. Commit to a few days straight of only breastfeeding and see how it goes. I wish you the very best.

She only needs one formula feeding per day for the jaundice to clear up. And yes, it totally helps the jaundice go away. You do NOT want to have to have the bili-lights.

Try to have your husband feed her that feeding so that with you it's always bf. Let her have naps in just her diaper in the sunlight streaming through the window as often as possible.

Give her some time to learn. If she has trouble, rub the roof of her mouth with the pad of your finger to stimulate her sucking reflex.

All my kids took 2 weeks to the day to really catch on to nursing. The doctors freak out about her weight that first week....but they always do.

Totally agree with Regina!! I can't believe that your doc told you to stop bf.. that is so incorrect and outdated, it's almost infuriating.
Call your local La Leche League and see if they can help you out, if there is any way you can afford it you might even hire a lactation educator, it would be well worth it and in the long run save you tons of money over switching to formula!!
I'm so sorry you are having trouble. Just try to focus and relax and seek out any local help you can find.... hospital, pregnancy center, la leche league, etc.
If you need to talk to some one as this is a fragile emotional time feel free to pm me at ____@____.com and I'll give you my number. If you are in the springs I'm sure I can help you find someone to help you (I'm not in the springs..)
Oh one suggestion is you might try a nipple shield, it's basically an artifical nipple you place over your nipple, you'll just want to start out with it then try switching to the other breast without it.
Good luck and God bless.
S.
www.buenavistamidwife.com

K.,
Just wanted to let you know it will work out great no matter what you decide. You will know what is best in your situation with your baby. Lots of moms have pumped and breastfed and most I know don't regret the extra effort to provide that. If you start to not enjoy being a mom or resenting your baby, bottlefeed. You will do what is best, you aren't alone in this, we have all been there.

Please contact La Leche League. They helped me so much with my first and we had every breastfeeding problem in the book. Also, I have found in my experience that doctors know next to nothing about breastfeeding. Jaundice in most cases is NOT a reason to stop breastfeeding. You can find a lot of good information on kellymom.com too.

First, take a deep breath. And another. You'll get through this! :)
It seems to me that everytime I've heard of someone bottle feeding this early on (for a variety of reasons) that they have trouble going back to the breast. Bottles are easier, flow faster and don't squirm like mom! Really, I think the best thing to do is to figure out how important bf is to *you*. Educate yourself on the benefits and problems inherent to bf, educate yourself on what formula feeding provides and doesn't. Usually mom waits a while before sending out a call for help, I think you're quick enough to change the pattern without too much trouble. If you choose to bf, well, my best advice is to stop giving the bottle until you have established a good bf bond (I've heard a month or more?). It will take lots of work, and perserverance, but you can do it! Join a bf support group (there are several Yahoo groups or La Leche) that will support you personally through all of this.
If you find that you just can't do it - FORGIVE YOURSELF and let it go! I chose to bf my son (and it was a nightmare for the first 6 wks) but I've never regretted having that bond. I *do* know that not everyone can/wants to have that kind of pressure. It's important to remember that no matter what you feed your baby, YOU are the most important part. :)
Good luck!

Tobe able to breastfeed, you will need to plan to take it easy for a week and get others to help so your focus is on your baby. It's very likely that this will be hard for a week or two and then your baby girl will love to nurse. It sounds like she has nipple confusion so you will need to not give bottles. The tube device mentioned by someone else is a nursing supplementer. Don't worry about any feeding schedules right now. Nurse on demand and often. She needs chances to breastfeed when she's not super hungry and has the patience to work with you. This will be a tough time but take advantage of the support available. Ask friends for help. Any La Leche leader would love to help, no matter how often you need to call for reassurance.

When I had my twins they breastfeed really good, and then they didn't and began to not thrive. So they and I were put in the hospital and I had to breastfeed each one while giving them formula. They taped a tube to my breast that would go into the babies mouth while I was nursing them. The formula and breast milk taste different to a baby so if given just breast milk they only want that, if given formula they only want that. Try seeing if you can get one of those tubes that you can tape to your breast and give her a few ounces of formula while breastfeeding her. Then slowly ween her off the formula by putting less and less mixed with your breast milk.

Congratulations on your new baby! If breastfeeding is important to you don't give up my friend! Many Moms run into obstacles at first and then end up being able to breast feed for a long time, and it is worthwhile and I am sure you know all the reasons. My baby girl had to have heart surgery when she was 1 week old and did not have strength to nurse for 2 months but finally was able to nurse a full feeding. I had to pump for 2 months every couple hours. Sometimes I thought "why am i doing this". But then she finally was able to and I was glad I hung in there. Now she is 4 years old and I look back and am glad I hung in there. Best Wishes! K. N

I would try contacting a local La Leche League consultant. If you google them in Denver (or wherever you live) you should find several. They are extremely friendly and supportive and want to help in whatever way to keep you breastfeeding. I had very painful breasts in the beginning and wanted to cry each time I fed but just stuck with it and eventually it was as normal as brushing my teeth. I really relied on the support of my midwife and the La Leche League consultant. I would strongly encourage you to stick with it if you can. There is nothing quite like it in terms of its nutritional content and the bonding power it offers. I wish you well in your discernment process.

Hi K.,
Congratulations on your new baby girl! Most new moms expect breastfeeding to be a natural instinctive thing where both mom and baby will know exactly what to do right away! But that is definitely not the case as you are finding out...and as I found out with both my daughters. With both my daughters, it took several weeks before we got the hang of it. With the first one, it was very painful even though she had a correct latch - another misconception out there. With my second daughter, I had to try many different positions to get her to nurse. She nursed fine on one side, but not the other...I got help from a lactation consultant at our hospital which I would recommend you do as well. They can watch you nursing and correct or make recommendations on what might work better.

But definitely keep trying....It will get better, and it is one of the most rewarding things you will ever do. But don't feel guilty either way things work out. The most important thing is the love you provide your daughter, whether its breastfeeding or bottle feeding, either way is fine.

Good Luck!

I had trouble with breastfeeding both of my kids. I ended up pumping and feeding and it was a good decision for me. I know it's hard but it's well worth it. Neither of my kids have ever had an ear infection and they were over a year old before they ever got a cold. I really believe that breastfeeding is the way to go. Are you going back to work? If so you will be pumping anyway so may not be such a big deal. If you decide to pump I recommend renting a hospital grade pump which are much faster and will keep your milk supply up. Also look into seeing a lactation consultant and in the mean time keep pumping as much as possible so you don't lose the supply. Overall it can be very stressful but you will work through it and do what is right for you and your baby. Just don't do anything out of exhaustion that you might regret and that will keep you on the track that you find right for the two of you. Good luck and keep up the good work!

Hi K.,
Hang in there...the first few months are the toughest...but, it gets easier after that. I had so much pain, infection & blocked milked ducts until my body got accustomed to this new ritual of breast feeding & pumping.

Once you and Madison get over the steep learning curve hump...it is THE MOST WONDERFUL BOND you can imagine!!!!

I hope you can find the strength to continue. And, like one of the ladies already mentioned...it will save you a small fortune if you don't have to purchase formula for a year.

On another note...make sure you sleep, when she sleeps. If you are a little more rested, you won't feel so desperately worried & overwhelmed. :) And, you'll have the patience and strength to perservere through the hard times and enjoy these first few months of being a new mommy.

If you truly want to breastfeed, then you HAVE to just stick to it and not give her the bottle. I know it is hard, but that is the only way she will learn to eat from your breast.
My daughter was the same way!

Trust me it will be hard and there were days of me crying and her crying from hunger and it was just so hard. HOWEVER I am so glad my husband was there to support me and get me to keep going at it. Finally she took it and it was the best thing I have ever done!

You just have to decide that breastfeeding is truly what you want and then it is all about YOU sticking to it for the long hall. It will be hard, but she will get the hang of it.

However if you just want to move on and do formula there is nothing wrong with that, despite what others might say. It is more important that you are happy to take care of you little one. And if you are miserable then that does you no good.

But just think it over and decide what is truly best for you! I just want you to know that I wasn't a mom that thought she would breastfeed. I was going to try it and it didn't work- give up. But I am SO incredibly happy I stuck with it! Truly! It was the most amazing time with my daughter. The learning curve was big for us, but after a few weeks it just clicked for us both and it was a blessing...

Good luck in either choice and just remember - you need to be happy so go with your gut!

K., Keep trying! Keep trying! Keep trying! Don't give up- it WILL work itself out! Just will be challenging in the beginning!

I see you've gotten lots of responses, but I wanted to say that I struggled for 2 months before feeding like I was successful breastfeeding and having to pump all the time. But once we got there, I couldn't have been happier that I stuck with it and the rewards far outweighed the hardship of getting there. Stick with it, and take one day at a time. Even when you are having trouble, enjoy this time with your baby.

Its actually a lot easier for a baby to bottle feed than it is for them to breastfeed (it takes less muscles in their lips and cheeks). Since she is sucking a little and then becoming disinterested, its because she knows she can get milk an easier way because when she doesn't breastfeed, she is offered formula. If you want her to breastfeed it sounds like you may have to have her exclusively breastfeed with no bottle. When she is hungry enough she will have a stringer sucking reflex and be more likely to take to the breast then turn it down and wait for the bottle to come.

Me reccomendation would be to try everything that you can to keep her nursing - It really is the best source of nutrition for them and if you can do it then its the best for your baby. My little one has never taken a bottle, and he is now 6 mos old and getting supplemented with solids. did try to teach him to take a bottle a few times (it would have been nice for the freedom if gives you to be away from the baby for more then 2-3 hours) but he was stubborn about it, and to me it was worth the extra hassel to have him be exclusively breastfed. He is now started on solids, and we will start getting him used to a cup, so he will never have a bottle but I'm okay with that.

I would say that you need to decide what you want to do quickly, because if you wait too long your milk will dry up and your body will have made the descision for you. I would try to continue breastfeeding, even if it means that you dont supplement with formula for a day or so to get her hungry enough to take to the breast again - though that can be hard on the new mom's emotions, the baby will be perfectly fine even though she will cry - run it by your doctor if you need a second opinion on this. Good Luck!

I am assuming the jaundice is resolved????? I only ask because all of mine were jaundiced and I had to supplement with my last one. It was explained to me that the baby only needs to receive a small amount of formula, <1 oz., in order for the body to recognize the presence of a protein different than the breast milk and begin to clear the bilirubin.

As far as BF, I agree with the other post---there may be nipple confusion. It will be a couple of tough days but if you are committed to breastfeeding, only offer the breast. If you feel you are engorged, or your nipples are too flat go to a breastfeeding store and get those nipple shields to wear and help protrude your nipple out more OR pump for less than a minute, enough so your nipples are drawn out and a little milk comes out and THEN offer the breast to the baby.

I am a big proponent of BF---I have done it for all four of mine and regret nothing about it. However, it took a lot of determination, especially with my first one when I had ALL my friends and family constantly reminding me of a way out when I really wanted to provide this for my baby. I could bore you with the details of each baby, but there isn't enough room here. :0)

Another avenue for you to try as well is the lactation consultant at your hospital---Have you tried this? And if you have but didn't like the advice, call back anyway and hopefully you will get a different person that may be able to explain it better.

Best wishes.

It's your decision and a really personal one, but if you want to breastfeed then don't stop. Please call La Leche League for advice and support!

And something I wanted to add, because doctors can sometimes be the worst about supporting breastfeeding, is that I think there is an adjusted growth chart for breastfed babies (maybe I'm mixing that up with the preemie chart?). Be sure your pediatrician is aware that your baby is breastfed.

Congrats on your baby, and best wishes for figuring out the feeding routine.

For whatever reason when my son was about a week old he decided that he would not take one breast the other he did fine. I tried everything I could think of. I called my pediatrician and he got me in touch with a lactation specialist. I went over and she showed me some things I could do and within two days he was back to normal. Women who are lactation specialist know their stuff! They can help most of the time as long as you are patient and dedicated to breastfeeding. It does suck sometimes, but I found sticking with it well worth it. Good Luck!

Congrats on the birth of your daughter! We had a similar problem early on. Our son was born and had jaundice severe enough to require him to be on phototherapy at home for several days. He was so tired he really would not eat at the breast effectively so I would pump bottles but then through the night we would formula feed him (it was the only way I could get ANY sleep). I was worried about him never wanting to breastfeed after that, but once he was better, he ate like a champ (still does at 4 months). The best thing is that since he took bottles so early, it was never a problem to get him to take bottles later, when it was time to go back to work, etc. So if I were you, I would pump or do what you can to keep your milk supply up, offer the breast first, and see what happens in a week or two when she is better and gaining weight. Its worth the effort to breast feed, but in the end, if you have to formula feed her, dont feel bad about it.

I had to supplement formula with my baby too. Once he had the bottle, he realized it was much easier than nursing. He no longer wanted to nurse. As a first time mom I was determined to nurse him. It was awful for both of us. I attempted to nurse and supplement for four months before I just went on to just formula.

I had the same problem with my second child, however, I pumped and gave him my milk in a bottle, because the milk helps the baby's immune system. It was much more enjoyable when I didn't stress about nursing.

I would continue to pump so you don't dry up and then give your milk to the baby in a bottle. I wouldn't give up nursing just yet, however, I wouldn't stress like crazy about it. Just follow your baby's cue.

I breastfed my jaundiced baby. We ended up nusing for 15 months. f bfing is something you really want to do I would nurse as much as possible and stop supplementing now.

Don't give up. Breast milk is so good for babies. No formula can even come close to the benefits. I had twins and had to supplement them from the get go. I would nurse them first then top them off with a bottle. Despite what everyone seems to indicate, breast feeding is not necessarily the easiest or most intuitive thing for you or your baby! Have patience and don't be too hard on yourself. Talk to someone at the LeLeche League or a lactation consultant for support. Keep pumping to keep your milk supply up. You don't want to make a quick decision on this.
Good luck and enjoy!

I had similar issues with my babies. They would do really good at the hospital then when we got home it was a different story. I would continue pumping and giving that to her and would still try the breast. It's hard and really frustrating. I would literally cry when it was the 2 am feedings because it was so frustrating.(that's no no) Baby can sense the frustration and that keeps them from eating as well. Just try to stay relaxed and coach her along with soft positive talk. They eventually got it and then it was just like breathing for them. They were all doing better by their 2 week check ups. Hang in there and you will be fine.