13 answers

Having Another Baby? - Mount Pleasant,PA

My boyfriend and I are planning on getting married in December of this year, we have been together for 3 years. Together we have 6 kids, he has 2 and I have 4....Ranging from 4 to 17 years of age. I am going to be 40 next year....My question is....He has been hinting around about having another baby and I am not sure I even want to go through that again. He has said that he is okay with not having another one because he want to be with me. My problem is.....I feel like I am holding him back and I don't know what to do or even how to handle it???? Any suggestions, advice??

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My opinion is that blended families are hard enough without adding an additional child. I am married and he has a special needs daughter (14) and I have a 10 and 7 yo. I would have liked to have had another child with him but decided against it for several reasons. I think you are both blessed to each have children and should focus on raising them the best you can so they all have happy and fulfilled lives. Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful

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My opinion is that blended families are hard enough without adding an additional child. I am married and he has a special needs daughter (14) and I have a 10 and 7 yo. I would have liked to have had another child with him but decided against it for several reasons. I think you are both blessed to each have children and should focus on raising them the best you can so they all have happy and fulfilled lives. Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful

You're 40 and when you're married you all will have 6, count 'em SIX, children. I think you have your answer. I think you all have been more than blessed and should focus on being the best parents and step parents to the SIX children you all already have.

K. B, age 44
mom to 5 including triplets
(ages 23, 15, and 5.5 trips - we're done!)

http://groups.yahoo.comm/group/HarrisburgPAChat
events and chat within 2 hour radius

1 mom found this helpful

you said you were not sure if you want to go through that again. Lets pretend you didn't feel like you were holding him back, what are your true thoughts and feelings about it. You need to explore that. =)

1 mom found this helpful

babies are the best and you know once you are pregnant you wouldnt have wanted it any other way, plus this would be your child together and i am sure since you have 6 what is one more!!!

6 healthy kids, thats already a lot of mouths to feed. I would stick to that and count your blessings.

I understand - it's kind of a "yours, mine . . . but now he wants the ours" situation :) Have you considered adoption? I mention it because having a baby now would create quite the age spread between oldest and youngest (not that it's a bad thing - the spread between my 6 is 9 - 22, just something to think about). If you adopted, you could consider adopting a child closer to your younger children's ages. That way, you are still adding your "own" child, but not extending the number of child rearing years. I must say, that being a parent for 22 years now and still having 9 years to go (at a minimum) seems like a daunting task some days!

Good luck!

I think that's awesome that he wants to have another one! I think it is something you both need to agree on before you get married. I think one together is a great idea! Your youngest is only 4 thats not a huge gap.

Well if it was the other way around and it was him who didn't want another baby everyone would probably tell you to wait or give up on the idea altogether. I don't think men stop and think they're holding us back when they're not giving us another baby so you shouldn't feel that way.
Pregnancy is very hard on our bodies and if you do it just to please him it's just not fair to you. If you don't want another child don't put yourself through another pregnancy and childbirth; now if you are undecided about it just make a list on the pros and cons of having another. also search within your heart, wha do you want? can you handle another child besides the ones you have right now? my personal opinion is to wait but if you can handle 6 you can def handle 7.
Good luck!
**added** I didn't even take your age into consideration because it's so common now for women to be pregnant after 35 that I do not think that your age should deter you**

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