Having Alone Time with Your Husband.

Updated on March 17, 2008
M.M. asks from Mokena, IL
10 answers

My husband and I have a daughter together. She is in grammer school. He always seems to be tired and doen't show much interest in going out like we used to before we had our daughter. Money seems to be a slight issue. I need some ideas to help us get the romance back into our marriage.

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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

What we sometimes do is on Friday's let my son watch Tv and eat dinner in his playrm. It is a treat for him and us. I do love family dinners - but once in awhile we do this. For us we will make a fire open a bottle of wine and have an assortment of cheese and crackers. It gives us time to indulge and have adult conversation. Most of the table talk at dinner revloces around my 5 yr old day. If it won't hurt your daughters feelings you can try this. Again my son thinks it is a treat to watch TV and eat dinner. If you don't want to miss out on a family dinner you can indulge in a dessert instead with wine and a romantic fire. Good luck !

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K.S.

answers from Chicago on

Hi M.! I am a Pure Romance consultant. I look for women to host parties for me. If you host a party you will will recieve free gifts and discounts on PR products. At the parties, you will invite a few friends,(women) and I will show the products that I have and share advise about things to do with your partner. I could also do a one on one with you if that would be more comfortable for you. I like to have no more than 15 people to a party, 10 at the least. I would be more than willing to talk more about this subject if you would like. You may email me at ____@____.com Good luck!

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C.G.

answers from Chicago on

How about a movie night in and dinner. If you have access to a baby sitter have your child stay the night. Cook a nice dinner and rent a movie. Cuddle on the couch.
Another option may be putting her to bed and asking her husband to come lay in bed with you and talk. Sometimes this is what we do and it never fails. Sometims we just fall asleep talking in eachothers arms. We are tight on money also so we make it a once a month thing to actually go out. Try to plan something you both like. Compromise and maybe go to a restaurant you like and visit a local shop he may like. We spent an hour or so at bass pro shop just looking and it even got us talking. Try to think of simple little things. Romance does not have to be over the top.

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K.F.

answers from Chicago on

Hi M.,
My husband and I have a date night once a week. My mother-in-law comes over and watches the kids for 2 hours while we just get out of the house. Sometimes we go to dinner, a movie, run errands or just get coffee and go for a drive. I know that a lot of people don't have the luxury of having someone come once a week. The other thing that we do is bath night. After the kids are soundly sleeping, we run a candle lit bath and talk for over an hour. It's really romantic and and connecting. Sometimes it's not until 10p that we take the bath and somtimes we have to force ourselves to because we are so tired but in the end, it's all worth it. Just use your imagination and you'll be suprised as to what you come up woith. Don't forget that your family started with the two of you and it's so important to have that time together, no matter what time it is.
Good Luck,
K. :~)

J.S.

answers from Chicago on

I know how you feel, M.. Money is tight for us too, and sitters plus dining out are expensive. My husband and I try to go out on a date at least once a month. We use coupons for local restaurants when we can. We go to movies on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon and pay matinee rates. Just little savings here and there. The best part is just being able to reconnect.

My husband would rather stay at home too, but he knows that I feel it's important that we spend time together without the kids. I told him it was something that I needed, which benefits our relationship. We also set aside some time every day in the evening after the kids are in bed just to talk.

Good Luck!

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F.P.

answers from Chicago on

Are there grandparents or aunts and uncle's around? They don't charge and enjoy spending time with their grandkids or niece. My parents will sometimes take my 2 kids(1yr and 5yrs) overnight and then my husband and I have the night to ourselves to stay in or go out.

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L.Z.

answers from Chicago on

I am a mother of three and have am exhausted by the end of the day so I can totally understand when romance is not the first thing on someone's mind. However, to keep that flame going I will put love notes in my husband's lunch box and one time I e-mailed him for about a month (without ever mentioning who I was, but he knew it was me) and I set up a date with him and we met at the restaurant and he wore the clothes I had laid out for him! it was just different and fun! I make it a point to go out on a date atleast once a month! Even if it's just for a cup a coffee, but he has confessed to me that he loves the notes.

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E.B.

answers from Chicago on

Just last night, I made homemade soup for dinner, which was really easy and not messy to eat, so we decided (after our son was in bed), to dim the lights, light candles, put on music, and play a board game while we ate. It took 2 1/2 hours and it was so much fun. Usually, if we try to do something "together" it ends up being a video and I fall asleep 2/3 of the way into it. But this was great! We really talked, and since it was the 80's Trivial Pursuit that we played, it gave us an opportunity to reminisce and tell stories about when we were kids. We've been together 8 1/2 years and we learned even more about each other last night. It was something different, cost NO money, and made us laugh out loud. I think we're definitely going to try to do this more often.

Good luck!

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R.G.

answers from Indianapolis on

This might sound like too much dramatic, but you can right some love letters to each other. Right some romantic mails or just something which you like to talk with each other, which you most enjoyed before having the daughter. You can spark some romantic emotions ahead of time and have fun when your kids go to bed. Think about teenage, when we are don't get much freedom and allowance too. It's funny but those things which they do might sound mischievous but can bring some young age back in you. May be once in a while right an anonymous letter to each other.

Find another mom friend whom you can trust and have some play-dates. This way you guys can help each other by taking turns and have some alone time with your own hubbies without spending extra money. If not then talk to your church people they will definitely give you some ideas and if there are some kind of childcare services or similar activities provided there then you can ask them if you can help them with by volunteering for other needs instead of paying with money then they might be ready to help you with the kids or they might suggest you something else.

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L.K.

answers from Indianapolis on

Sometimes it is a good idea to have a romantic picnic in your bedroom. Have the basket ready when he gets home. If possible, feed your daughter and give her something to do to keep her busy in her room until it is her bedtime. Lock your door and have your picnic. Make it romantic with candles and low lighting. Or

You could run your husband some fragrant bath water and bathe him in candle light.

A little about me:

I work full-time. My husband and I have been together for 39 years.

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