Having a Hard Time with Puttung My Son in Daycare.

One of my favorite things about putting my daughter in daycare was hearing her talk about the new people she was meeting and the new activities she was learning to do. Of course your son is a little young to report back, but he is old enough to appreciate the social interaction with other kids. And hopefully you've chosen a place where he will get to do art projects and learn songs and stories that maybe you don't know or have forgotten about.
I won't lie; it's hard at first. He's not going to be happy to see you go, but just remember that he is being given all sorts of enrichment opportunities and most important remember that you are NOT a bad/neglectful mother!! Kids don't learn to function very well if they're sheilded from the world forever- he's going to have so much fun!

I had the same problem when my son was 14 months old. To make matters worse, he was so upset that he wouldn't play and he was always wanting to be held. The teachers told me that this was normal and that one day it would just change and he'd be fine. Believe it or not, three weeks later, one day, he had a great day. Ever since then, he loves school. It's hard for me to leave him but he runs up to his friends and talks with them, he sings songs they learn, draws pictures and is speaking in complete sentences already. He's been in day care for a few months short of a year, and it's great. I love his teacher and so does he. It's nice to have some adult time, and it's also necessary. The 2 of you will appreciate eachother more when you do spend time together. DOn't worry. You'll still have plenty of time to raise your son, and you'll see him grow and learn like crazy.

I have a 3 year old that has been in daycare since 8wks and just put my second child in at 12 wks. It never gets easier--I still feel utterly guilty every day (though I know my 3YO is really flourishing in her preschool program, which she probably wouldn't do at home with me)--but as parents, we get used to doing what we have to to make things work for the well-being of the family overall. I think it's called adulthood?! :)

Heck, if I had my choice I'd get to stay at home full-time, never work and live in a million dollar home and have everything easy-peasy, but that's not my life so....a good daycare/preshcool makes it tolerable. Good luck and know that you are not the only working mom that feels that way!!
-m

I have an almost 3yo son and an 11 month old daughter and I just went back to work full time about two weeks ago. To be honest, the waiting to start work was harder than actually coming back. Of course I miss the kids, but I enjoy working and the transition has been relatively painless. I know it's difficult, but once you get used to a routing and schedule it gets much easier. You're still his mom and he'll always love you and miss you. Hang in there and hugs, you're not alone!

I don't think you are being overly anxious about putting your son in daycare; you're feelings are perfectly normal! I also have an 8 month old son, and I have been working full time since he was 2 1/2 months old. It was very hard in the beginning to leave him with the babysitter, so I started back to work part time and eased into full time work until we were both used to my new schedule. I miss him when I'm at work, but I know he is being taken care of really well. Plus, when I get home, he has the biggest smile for me, and just makes my day! Just remember you are trying to do what is best for your family, and he will be just fine! Good Luck!

First of all, if your family needs you to work, then you don't have a choice. If you're not feeling misgivings because you're worried about the place, then just know he'll be okay.

I think it's best for a child that young to be with his mother, but you know what? It's even better for a family not to be financially-stressed and tense. As long as you give him your full time and attention when he comes home, he'll be fine. Although you'll probably bawl your eyes out for a while.

Some advice my mother gave me is - you can always change your mind. To me that meant, I had to give daycare a try, otherwise I'd never know if I was doing the right thing or not. I figured I'd tough it out for a month, and if at the end of that month I still felt uncomfortable, then my husband I could talk about a different course. At the end of our month, we decided to stick with daycare and we're so glad we did. Our son is very well adjusted, has little anxiety, is well ahead in his learning and development -it's been an excellent supplement to our life at home. Every parent is different - some feel comfortable at home with their children, some feel comfortable having their child enjoy the surroundings and stimulation in daycare. If you do decide to try it, make sure you feel a warm sense of caring from the teachers/caregivers. Bond with them as often as you can, hang out there, visit often - whatever you need to do to feel comfortable. Obviously it's nice if you can choose a facility close to where you work, then you can always go visit or be close should the need arise. The people who work there understand your hesitation too, so talk to them about it. It helps them to also be attentive to your child's transition. Hope this helps and good luck! Oh - one other thing - you may want to look for a NAEYC certified facility - it's a very strict certification. (national association for the education of young children) ;)

I understand how you feel! I returned back to work in Jan FT for the first time. At that time my son was 2 1/2 and daughter 14mos. Prior to that no one had ever watched than other than grandma, and my friend since middle school so I was toatally freaked out about the concept!

Its hard at first but its takes time and they do adjust! Most important is finding a place that you all feel comfortable with. It was so stressful for us looking and mine children eneded up going to a very expensive one because other places were not as nice and clean. We had to up our price.

Now both kids love day care! My son is in preschool and daughter is moving to the 2's! Socially they learn alot from it. Honestly if I had a choice I would stay home but I need to work. I miss them but I know they are safe and learning so much.

OK sorry to ramble but I remeber those feelings like it was yesterday and its OK to leave them in day care if you need to work. It feels good to work and help out finacially plus to relate to actual adults. Well good luck.
A.

Don't worry-I was the exact same way when I had to finally put my daughter in daycare. I always swore that I would never put my child in daycare because I didn't want someone else raising them, but that's so untrue. At the end of the day you are still the one raising your child, teaching them morals and values and beliefs. I completely understand and honestly it was harder for me than it was for her. She loves it and we actually spend better quality time together now than when I was at home. I just try to look at it as a learning experience for my child. If it's better for your family for you to take this great job and your child will be in a loving and learning atmosphere than it will be better for your family overall. It gets eaiser I promise. Also, it is good for your child to be interacting with other children to develop socially, but by all means do what is going to benefit your family in the long run.

You are no different from any other Mom who has to put their child in daycare. Be reasured that you are not alone. Your feelings are perfectly normal and it will take time to adjust. I found it helpful with my two older kids that I started them about a month before they had to go full time just to help them adjust (me adjust) In the beginning it seemed that it was the worse thing I had done I felt as though I was in someway abandoning them. They were 1 and 3 years old. I do have to say that it got better I did cry every morning on the way to work but they did great!! In hind sight it was difficult but rewarding and in the end, I was being to hard on myself for no reason and got to really appreciate the time spent with my kids but away from them as well. Best wishes and be assured that you will do fine and so will your little guy.

Hi E.,

I put my son in daycare a month ago when he was 3 months old. It was so hard at first, thinking I was going to miss out on so much. I have no regrets. I have a quick meeting with our "daycare lady" at the end of the day to go over anything from the day (anything abnormal, last feeding and diaper change, anything cool that happened). She has been wonderful in making sure that my child is cared for and loved while I am at work. I love having an excuse to focus on him when I get home, and on the weekends. You will still have the firsts- the first time you see it. It is just as wonderful to witness it your first time, even if he may or may not have done it already.

Daycare also gives your little guy a chance to socialize with others and be comfortable away from you. My little guy always gives me the biggest smile when I pick him up in the afternoon. He has obviously had a fun day!

It will be hard at first, but it gets easier. Good luck!