Having a Difficult Time with Bottle Feeding

Updated on July 31, 2006
T.N. asks from Dallas, TX
16 answers

I have nursed my 4 months-old child since she was born. My family (husband, mother,...) and I try to bottle-feed her with expressed breast milk for 2 weeks now. She refuses to take the bottle every time and would stay hungry for hours. (She does not like pacifiers). - I tried many different types of bottles and nipples ( Avent will be my last chance). Any suggestions on bottle feeding?!
Thanks

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M.V.

answers from Dallas on

My baby also refused to switch between breast/bottle, my friend recommended to try dr. Browns. They are SOFT, much softer than any nipple I've tried before. My baby took it finally! Also i used �2 flow (from 3 mo and up).

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R.B.

answers from Dallas on

another mom here with a similar problem. I tried many different bottles and nipples until we found these at Target. http://www.mambaby.com/websystem301/site/index.php?articl.... You can buy the bottles, but I didn't like them very well - they leaked a lot. However, when I went up to a Size 2 nipple and put these on the Avent bottles, my little guy started taking the bottle like a champ. Hope that helps!

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J.C.

answers from Dallas on

Avent worked for me. The temperature has to be just right or they won't take it. Try fresh expressed in the bottle and see if she takes it. Good luck.
J.

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L.B.

answers from Dallas on

Your sweet angel wants not just the naturally sweet breastmilk she's been getting, but she wants the warmth and heavenly time she spends at the breast. If you don't have another major conflict, then I'd keep breastfeeding her. Every month that she continues to receive not only the unmatched nutrition of the breastmilk but also the unmatched nurturing of the breastfeeding time, she will develop in ways that are priceless. As you probably know, breastmilk has over 100 unique ingredients that cannot be duplicated in formula. And, being fed at the breast cannot be duplicated by anybody. The love, security and comfort that a baby feels at their mother's breast will make for a strong, secure and independent child and adult in the future. So, my advice is to breastfeed her as long as possible. You won't ever regret it and you'll be giving your daughter the greatest gift of all.

Now, I do have to tell you as background, that before I had kids, I had NOT planned on ever breastfeeding. Then, after being told by a good friend about the incredible & unique experience, and after I read more info on the unmatched nutrition and prevention of diseases for a lifetime...I decided that I HAD to breastfeed. I was determined to make it work, even though my mother and mother-in-law had not, nor most my friends. I had a tough time the first few months. However, just around the 4 month or so, is when it becomes like second nature for you and your child. And, in fact, the most wonderful comfort for you both really is experienced in the months just ahead. If you can, I would urge you to set a goal for breastfeeding your precious daughter for 1 year. I set the goal of getting to 6-months and then when I got there I set the goal to 1 year. I ended up breastfeeding longer. The World Health Organization recommends a minimum of 1 year and in other countries at least 2 years. There is even significant scientific data to show that as long as you breastfeed, there continues to be add-on benefits for you and your child long-term. If you feed even as long as 6 months, then you as the mother will reduce your future chances of breast cancer. Of course, the list of benefits goes on and on.

I'm sorry for being so long-winded and I don't mean to put any pressure on you. I don't know your circumstances but only wanted to share my passion for the unbelievable gift of the breastfeeding relationship between mom & child and the nutrition/prevention benefits. I was converted from a mindset of NEVER going to breastfeed to now being a major advocate. Breastfeeding is a sacrifice, but also an unbelievable privelege that God gives ONLY to Moms. Treasure every moment, because once its gone, you can't go back and give the priceless gift again. Many Blessings - L.

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E.B.

answers from Dallas on

My son went through the same thing - he took a bottle once a day from 4 weeks to 3 months, then quit the bottle cold turkey. We tried everything - every kind of bottle (the boob bottle included), softening the nipple, using a finger-feeder, having my mom try, my husband, and me leaving the house. He wanted no part of it and would go 13 hours without eating. I was a wreck and felt so guilty for making him upset like that, so after a month of trying, we gave up. I never tried the "hold out" method where I didn't feed him at all until he took the bottle - 13 hours of him crying was all I could take, and my husband was miserable (since he was the one trying to feed him the bottle!).

I work from home so was able to nurse him during the day, but I could never be gone from him more than 3 hours or give him a bottle when we were in public somewhere. It was a relief when he started solid food and started taking a little breastmilk from a sippy cup - that way a someone could extend time a little until I got home if I had to be away.

I had a girlfriend whose daughter also did this - she pumped exclusively for three days, only offering the bottle (the "hold out" method). The baby finally gave in on day 3, and she pumped after that and only did bottles.

Bottom line, it can heartbreaking if your baby is upset during all this, but I know it is important, especially for a working mom. Try the different bottles, try the "hold out" method if you can stand it. You are doing the right thing trying to give your baby breastmilk! My son is 9 mos old and has never been sick!

Good luck - I am thinking about you!

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R.N.

answers from Dallas on

A friend of mine had the same problem. She ended up using the playtex orthodontic nipples. I found the playtex natural action nipples (harder to find and different from nautralatch nipples) to be very like the action at the breast. Another thing...have YOU tried giving it to her? Everyone always says the BF mom can't give it, but my son would ONLY take milk from me and still is that way @ 13 mo.... makes it hard to leave him.... Basically my friend that ended up w/the orthodontic nipples was in your same boat and I think she literally bought EVERY one on the market. There is also a wild-looking bottle from one step ahead (www.onestepahead.com) that is HUGE and looks like a boob. It looks nice-I have always thought I'd try it if I got in your situation. When did you first offer a bottle? The "experts" say if you didn't by 6 weeks, they may never want to take one. You could also try a sippy cup. I have several friends who skipped bottles all together and went straight to a cup. Try the nuby flexible spout.

Laura-she said she's giving expressed milk...I think she's still nursing! Although I agree with you.

Good luck!
R.

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M.D.

answers from Dallas on

Hi T.,

My little boy just turned 4 months and I just went through this same issue. Garrett would take a bottle fine from my husband, but didn't want to take it from his daycare provider. Some days he was getting only 3 ounces. My Dr. had me start writing down every time he ate and when he would pee as well. He thought we might have to start giving him some cereal in the mornings if he wouldn't take the bottle. However, after 4 weeks of consistently offering him the bottle every 4 hours at daycare he started taking it. I use Avent bottles. I really think that our babies are very smart and they know that they would prefer Mommie to the bottle. I would discuss this problem with your pediatrition and see what he thinks. It is very frustrating when they aren't eating and you worry about them. Just remember she is gaining weight then she is getting enough to eat during the day. I hope this works out for you soon. I still breastfeed my son at night and first thing in the morning.

Good Luck,
M.

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D.S.

answers from Dallas on

T.,
Adding my voice to the many tips you've already gotten...I just went through the same thing with my son. I had to go back to work when he was 3 months and after about a month and a half of going through EVERY bottle on the market I thought my baby would starve from not taking a bottle. We finally went to a sippy cup & removed the stopper inside. That way he didn't have to work so hard to get the milk (he never had to work hard with me), the caregivers just had to give him a little at a time and since it flowed easily he began to adjust quickly. He's now 13 months old and while we still nurse before bed and when he wakes up in the morning he takes a cup the rest of the time. I know it's tough to watch them go through this but she will learn and adjust. Good luck!!

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T.T.

answers from Dallas on

I did the same with my daughter. After trying all the expensive bottles for nursing babies; the one she liked was the Parents Choice Brand they sell at Wal-mart. She had no problem going back and forth between the bottle and the breast.

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B.S.

answers from Dallas on

Hi T.,

Congratulations on breastfeeding! Great job!

My baby preferred the Medela bottles with the strange nipples. You have to make sure to put them in the right way or nothing will come out.

I introduced the bottle earlier, so we had no real problems, but she preferred to nurse if I was in the room. So I "HAD" to leave so daddy could bottle feed her. :)

We then went to Avent, and she had NO problems switching between the breast and bottles. Maybe she needs a faster flowing nipple. At four months, she probably has gotten used to a fast rate at the breast. Those slow-flow nipples will probably REALLY frustrate your baby.

Also, you may put a drop of breastmilk on the tip of her nose before offering the bottle. Maybe she can't smell the milk, so she doesn't quite know what to do. Another thing is to make certain Grandma or Daddy are putting her in her preferred position, as if she was at the breast. Have them gently squeeze the nipple of the bottle to get the flow started and see if that helps. Make sure the milk is as close to body temp as you can. ??? I am just trying to remember everything I did. Are you freezing the milk or trying to feed immediately after pumping? Some say their babies would only drink freshly expressed or refrigerated for short time breastmilk--NO FROZEN.

I referred to http://www.breastfeeding.com/ a lot with questions like yours.

Good luck! Hope something works for you!
Sherri

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M.B.

answers from Dallas on

You just have a really smart baby and she knows that what you're offering isn't the real thing :) I had a similar problem with my younger son who he seemed okay with the bottle of expressed milk the first time, but when I went back to work, he absolutely refused it from his caregivers. In the end, he was more determined than I was and I ended up carrying a pager and being paged whenever he was hungry. Fortunately, he was just five minutes from my office. In the end, it really wasn't nearly as much trouble as it sounds. It also meant his caregivers couldn't just put a bottle in his mouth to keep him quiet, they had to learn to comfort him in different ways.

Certainly, I recommend following the other suggestions and trying to find a nipple she'll like, but if she's as stubborn as my son (whose now almost 11 and still as stubborn as he was then), you may have to get really creative in dealing with this. In the end, it's really only a few months away before she'll be into solids and reaching a point where she'll be reducing her feedings. I have no regrets whatsover about the situation with my son as I never had to deal with weaning him from a bottle and he weaned himself when he was ready to stop breastfeeding (he was over 2 :)

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L.F.

answers from Dallas on

Take a look at this bottle, it's as close to the breast as you can get! http://www.onestepahead.com/product/85207/686/117.html
If that doesn't work then she may just not want anything to do with the bottle. Just keep trying, she may take it if she's hungry enough, just try not to force it, you don't want her to associate feeding times as a stressful event. Your hubby could try removing his shirt while feeding time so they can have the skin to skin contact. Have anyone but yourself try bottlefeeding her, if you try bottlefeeding her it will only make her upset because she knows that you are the one that breastfeeds her and she'll automatically prefer that.

She may also be old enough to start taking solid foods, you can start anywhere between 4-6 mths. Start with rice cereal, you can mix it with breastmilk or with warm water. Feed her the cereal when she's not too full, but not starving either. If she just pushes it out, wait a few days before trying again. If she takes to it, then maybe whoever is caring for her when you're not around could offer that to her, so she won't be so hungry. Hope this info helps!

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A.

answers from Dallas on

I see that you have had lots of advice, but just wanted to let you know that I absolutely love the platex natural latch bottles. I used Avent with my oldest, but for some reason every once in a while, the lid wouldnt screw on right and when we tried to shake the bottle milk would go everywhere!! I have heard others complain of the same problem, so we switched. I have also heard of some people needing to run the nipple under hot water, or rubbing it with some milk to encourage feeding. Another thing we tried was adding some formula to the bottle. Maybe because she knew it tasted a little different she was OK with getting her new milk from the bottle. I am sure that you are very frustrated, but best of luck in this transition!

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B.S.

answers from Dallas on

There may be more, but I have two suggestions:

Sometimes it's as simple as changing bottles. The nipple on the bottles you are using may not be comfortable to her. So, trying other types may make a difference. She'll come around. She will not starve.

Also, she may refuse to take a bottle from you, mom, because she associates nursing the breast with your smell. You may have to let dad or someone else do the bottle feedings until she becomes comfortable with it. Besides it's a good way for dad and baby to bond.

I'm a child care provider and have never had a problem getting a breast baby to take a bottle from me; but as soon as mom walks in....the baby will want to nurse the mom, even if she's just eaten.

Good luck and God bless...

http://www.MissBrenda.com

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C.J.

answers from Dallas on

Here is the advice I got. Give the baby the bottle several times a day to suck on and play with for one week. Then give the bottle with some breastmilk during feedings in between each breast for one week. Then shoot for gold and try and do a complete feeding. We use the playtex brown nipple. Seems to be most like a female breast. We are at phase one of this process. Next week we will try and feed her some. So far so go. She loves to suck on and play with the bottle.

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N.

answers from Dallas on

I used dr browns and lovd them!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I dont have anything else to tell you - I wish I did........Good luck! N. Lang in Kaufman, TX

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