Have You Ever Left Your Kid(s) in the Car When You Run Back into Your House?

When I am in my driveway and running into the house? yes. I've left my kids in the car. I've even asked my kids to run back in the house and get something for us.

When my kids were younger - if they fell asleep in the car - I would leave them in the car - with the door open and M. working in the garage. So they weren't alone.

I don't leave them ALONE in a car when I run into the store, bank, post office, etc.

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I think it's a paranoia driven fear put out there by the media J. to make parenting harder than it already is.
If your kids are buckled and in and not the rowdy/frenzy types, there is no reason why they cant be left in the car for a minute while you are J. steps away.
Like you said, most things are freak accidents, the chances of your car gettin hit are slim to none in all reality. Windows up, doors locked, no one is gonna break in and steal an infant out of a car seat, it J. doesnt happen that way.

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I always take them with after my friend had this happen to her. She put her son in the car, strapped in the carseat in the garage. She forgot a deposit she was going to do and went back in while he was strapped in the car in the garage with the door closed. She went in, in a hurry grabbed the check and turned and quickly headed back for the garage, slipped on a throw rug and hit her head on the garage door slamming it and knocking herself out. When her husband came home he always parked outside and used a side kitchen door to come in, saw her out cold with a bloody head and called 911, they came and took her to the hospital. She was supposed to drop off her son at a sitters house that day as well, so Dad thought the child was already there. He got Mom to the hospital and called the sitter and said what was going on and that he would pick up the child a bit later, she said Mom never showed up to drop the child. Panick over a missing child now hit as well as unconcious Wife. So police were called and they searched the neighborhood thinking he got out of the house. He was found a few hours after that point strapped in the car, asleep, but sweaty and wet from all the crying he did that wasn't heard because the door was shut. Had he been at least with Mom he would have probably stayed with her or at least made noise when the paramedics got there. So with M. all the time everytime until they are of an age to handle certain situations by themselves.

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Freak accidents can happen anywhere. But that doesn't mean that you ought to bubble wrap your child and carry them everywhere.

Yes, I've left my boys in the car numerous times. Because I live in a relatively safe place and they aren't morons (I taught them well). Statistically,even in New York City, a child has a better chance of being hit by lightning than being kidnapped. It's more likely that some nosy, well-meaning, interfering adult will call the cops at my leaving my kids in the car or allowing them to walk to the corner store alone than anything bad happening.

Dangerous stuff is everywhere. We have to take risks as parents to allow our children to grow strong and navigate the world. From the moment they walk (WHY does that table have such sharp edges!?) we feel the need to save them from every potential danger and owie.

But we can't. So we have to be realistic and logical about what's dangerous, and what's not.

Hot stove with big pot of boiling water: Yes. Dangerous. So teach your child to understand the danger...because eventually they'll be boiling water on that hot stove too.

Sitting in the car for two minutes while mom runs inside: No. Not dangerous. Not any more dangerous than playing the the yard or at the park.

ETA: I also allow them to walk the 3/4 mile to school, go to the park by themselves, ride their bikes all over the neighborhood, and play outside after dark.

Children raised to be weak and fearful end up as weak and fearful adults. I want my boys to be strong and capable.

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Yes, I have left my children in the car while it is parked in the garage so I can run into my house for a forgotten item. I will load the children into the car and then return the cart to the cart corral. I will pay for gas and leave my children in the car. Call M. a terrible parent if you will but I feel that it is safe (enough) to do so. We can't all live in bubbles. To M. it is like telling my 4 year old, no you can't play on the jungle gym because you could fall off and break your arm. Could that happen? Yes. But it is unlikely. Could a car bonk into my parked car as I return the cart? Sure. But the likelihood is slim.

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Nope, never.
Not in the garage, not in the driveway, not at the gas station, not at the store...

Never.

The car can get stolen,
kid can unbuckle and bump the car into reverse or neutral an roll into traffic,
kid can mess with a window and smash fingers, kid could play with seat belt, wrap it around neck and choke,
kid could open door and wander off,
someone could break in an steal kid,

Never ever leave mine.

Barb A. perfect example. That would be M., I am a klutz. Never, never ever.

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I agree with the poster from yesterday and with Christy Lee. Yes, we need to be cautious, but most of the posts from yesterday were extreme. The worst case scenarios mentioned are insanely unlikely to happen. We can't live our lives in fear, especially in fear of things that have a .01% chance of happening. I mean, what's next? Our kids can't be inside a church because a statue might fall down? We can't go to Disney because the roller coaster might break down? No more running in the park because they might step in a hole and twist an ankle? Life has risks, but it is not worth not living.

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At home, yes. And I lock the doors if we're out in the driveway, not in the garage.
We're talking about running in to grab something quickly. Not going back in for 5 minutes.

3 moms found this helpful

I'm one of the few who admit leaving the kids in the car for seconds while removing keys and keeping car in full view at all times only on COOL DAYS and windows are tinted and you cant' see there are kids in there. Heck yeah, I've also done it to run back in the house for that one library book, checkbook, granola bar, burpee cloth. I base it on "must be under 30 seconds, must be in totally safe surrounding, car must be locked and I must have keys" gut instinct. Now, COULD a premeditated psycho be camped out in my bushes J. waiting for M. to make that one mistake per 6 months where I run back in the house for a second with the doors locked with his slim jim and jacking device because he wants to kidnap my kids?? And he's got it timed to 15 seconds flat because he knows my cut off is 30 seconds? Well, not really with my nosy neighbors, but PERHAPS.

I think there are certain areas people pick where to be PERFECT. Some people NEVER feed their kids unhealthy food. But like you said, your kids can be killed in a split second by a drunk driver even if you're IN the car. It's J. a way for people to feel more in control when they never step away from the car, no matter how impossible it is for it to be jacked (not if it's for seconds and it's locked with no keys in it) slammed into (not if it's parked in a space with no moving traffic around it) an alien abduction to happen (if you never let it out of your sight because it's parked in front of the window 2 feet from dry cleaning desk you would run out immediately and flail your arms at the aliens...) But I'm also that mom at the park who lets her kids "go off and play" even on the big slides, and doesn't hover. A neck could be broken at any second. Everyone is different.

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Thank you for posting this. In my opinion, situation awareness is most important. Sure things could happen as could they anywhere at any time. US MOMS KNOW WHAT IS BEST FOR "OUR" CHILDREN. I think in all case senarios... where you live and what you do as to anything not J. leaving your kid in the car to run back into your house will be different than another mother... Being safe and thinking safe is great. but living in constant fear something is going to happen to you or your child is a little to far and paranoid for M..

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When I was about 9, my Mom left M. in a car and an old man came up and banged on teh window and tried to open the door and started asking M. questions like "What's your name?" This was parked right next to the door to a pharmacy where my Mom was getting a perspription picked up. It terrified M., although I honestly don't know the guy's intentions.

I never leave my child in the car for this reason. And for the reason, that kids make bad decisions. What if my child got our looking for M.? Or to go watch a bird? Or got the car out of Park? Or heaven knows what?

And I always take my keys out of the carand bury them in my pockets with M. if I am pumping gas or at the ATM. Even at 20 degrees. It's a self defense tactic I learned.

Same reason I lock the car and set the alarm, if I am returning a shopping cart 15 feet from the car. Kids make bad decisions, and I want to minimize their risk from others.

I never leave the kids outside alone in the car even at home. I have left them buckled in the closed garage if I forget my phone or something and step back in the house.

I never considered the car crash scenario as a reason not to leave my child. Your reasoning is good about the car crash. However, I imagine a Mom couldn't live with herself if, in her desire to not have to deal with her kids in a store, led to the coincidence that the car was struck when she was away.

PS - Oh gosh, Barb A's story is going to stick with M.. I often fear getting hurt when it's J. M. and my child. I guess I will never "step back in the house" again.

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I do leave DS in the car to run back into the house. The car is in the drive, I leave the house door open so that I can still hear the car running then close it only long enough to arm the security system. If took him out of the car each time I forgot something I think I would J. give up and stay home. My neighbors laugh at M. because it is not uncommon for M. to get to the end of the street and have to turn around two or three times. Pregnancy brain is really bad now and I forget a lot of stuff.

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We park in our Garage, So yes I have.

Normally my kids are not in the car unless it is moving. Or I am heading that way too.

In the winter, I normally crack the garage door and get it warmed up. In the State of Washington, it is illegal to leave a car running outside...So this is why I do it this way.

I HAVE left them in the car, if I had to turn around to come back and grab something I for got.

If I am going inside anywhere that I will not be able to see my kids, or there is the chance I could be longer then a second, I do not leave them alone.

I had the Cops called on M. at a Gas Station one time for running into to pay....So I learned a BIG lesson with that one:)

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I have left my child in my car, in my garage or driveway for 30 seconds because I forgot my travel mug, or a book, something like that. I always take the keys with M..
I think what we need to do is to take "prudent care" when we make a decision like that.
I don't think a car is going to smash my car while it's in the garage or my driveway.
I don't think I would run back into my house if my car was parked on the street.
Accidents are J. that--accidents. You can't "plan" for them or always avoid them, but we can use the brains the Good Lord gave us to always make the safest choice for each particular situation at the time.

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I have and will leave my children in the car when I have to run back into the house, run to drop off or pick up something (not find an item, wait in line and pay for it but an immediate pick up) or something of the like. If I know I will gone more than 2 mins, I drop down the windows a bit and lock the doors. If it's taking more than 5 minutes, I go back out and go back in with the children.

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What about when you put the shopping cart away after unloading your groceries? You can't see your car unless you happened to park right next to the shopping cart corral. Really I think it's okay to run into a gas station as long as it's quick and you are in a situation where you can see your car. I have only done it once where my car was parked right next to the door at the gas station and I ran inside and I could see my kids the entire time. I didn't do it again in fear of getting arrested. I read a story about one lady who got arrested when she went to drop off donation in front of a store and left her sleeping child in the car. The car was parked and she could see her car the entire time. I don't think you can get arrested though for putting your shopping cart away while your kids are in the car. And if someone says bring your kids with while I put the cart away would be ridiculous as it would be more dangerous dragging 3 little kids through parking lot. Yes, I always keep the doors locked when I do this. Yes I do think parents who run into stores for a while keeping their kids in the car and can't see them at all are crazy and that is very dangerous.

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We live in such a quiet neighborhood on such a quiet street that while I've now reconsidered leaving DD in the car to run into a store or gas station, I'm okay with her being in the car alone if I have to run into the house for a second. I know that no place is completely safe, but some places are safer than others, and our subdivision, with the car parked in our driveway, is as safe as it gets. The chances of someone suddenly springing out the bushes and coming out of nowhere to snatch my daughter or try to steal the car is practically zero. There's using common sense caution, and then there is being paranoid. But my daughter is also the type that doesn't mess with buttons, locks, etc. in the car and can be trusted to sit still and stay put for the 2 seconds it's going to take M. to run back into the house. Seems everyone has a story about some freak accident happening to someone, but I also can't live my life in fear. Otherwise I would never take DD anywhere or let her do anything.

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I had posted a similar question a while ago - asking if moms leave kids in the car for even a bit when outside. Most moms responded that they do it, some said they don't leave their kids alone no matter what. I never leave my son alone when outside but I do always leave him in the car (inside the garage or in the driveway) while I go in to pick up some things. I almost do it everytime we go out these days because I first get him ready , buckle him to his carseat and then run inside to grab my jacket and handbag. I always close the car door , don't leave the keys in there.Most of the time I have the garage door closed but not always. I am gone for less than a minute so I feel he should be fine. We live in a pretty safe neighbourhood. Beleive M., we have sometimes forgotten to close the garage door( the back door to the house is always unlocked) and when we return back much later everything is J. the same. This has happened 2-3 times and so I feel this neighbourhood is safe. So I think I am ok leaving my son in the car for J. a little bit until I run inside to grab a few things. I would not leave him alone anywhere outside though. And I do agree with you, things can happen even when we are super careful. I am the kind of mom who tried to keep my son in a bubble mostly but sometimes I think it;s ok to do certain things that are not absolutely safe. Because the likelihood of something going wrong is very slim. Did you read a post few days ago about a mom who was watching both her kids in front of their house. The older girl(5 yrs) was playing with some landscape rocks and she slipped and fell backwards and the rock she was holding directly hit the 2 year old son and he died on the spot. The mom was standing right next to her son watching him play! And if I have to tell my own story, I was pregnant with my son and was extremely worried about every single thing. I used to make a list of things to ask my doctor at every appointment. Called the on call nurse everytime I had a doubt about anything. Read almost everything I could about pregnancy. My husband told M. I had become a worry wart and asked M. to relax and things will be fine. When I was in my third trimester I started relaxing a bit, even I felt I was worrying way too much. Then one day I went into preterm labour and I didn't know. My child was in NICU for 25 days. Nobody could tell M. why I went into labour so early, everything was J. perfect with my pregnancy. My worrying did nothing , my son was supposed to come early and I couldn't prevent it. Even now I worry a lot about every single thing about my son. But I now know that I can't control everything. If things are supposed to happen, they will no matter what. Your post made M. feel that you are worrying a lot about what-ifs. So my advice is please don't worry about things that are not in your control. Do the best you can :)

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I don't go into stores with my daughter left in a car because I can't control how long I'm inside. What if there's a line? The clerk is slow?

In front of the house (in my driveway and I live in a residential neighborhood with a lot of foot traffic) if I'm going in for a specific item and I know where it is. I can be in and out in <30 seconds. She can't unbuckle herself. I generally leave the car open. I go in, get what I need and get out.

If she's sleeping I will go outside in my yard with the monitor on. I've even gone into the next door neighbors with the monitor on (we've checked and it works). Our houses are small and close together, so it isn't any further away than in the same large house. She's not a stealth waker, and she's confined to the upstairs. The second I hear movement I go inside.

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I will leave my son in the car while I run inside. Car in the driveway, I always take the keys, I unbuckle his car seat and leave the car unlocked. He is 5-1/2 and can get out and in on his own. I leave the front door open so I can see out (car to door distance is about 6 feet). I would be way more concerned he would start the car than anything else. Since he plays outside the house himself the only 'stranger danger' difference is the vehicle.

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I pay at the pump so my kids stay in the car. I totally lock the doors to my car whether the kids are in it or not. I don't need someone jumping in my car w/o noticing while I am pumping. There is risk in everything we do. If I leave my kid alone in the house while I walk to the curb to get the mail something could happen. (years ago there was a woman who left her 2 sleeping babies in the house while she waited IN FRONT OF HER HOUSE to get her older child on the bus and her house caught fire and the babies did not survive. It was terrible and not really much different than checking my mail) But if I take them with M. a dog could come and bit them or like you said a car can jump the curb. If we really think about it EVERYTHING we do is risky. As I type on my laptop my fan could stop working to cool my computer and I can burn my legs. I have left my kids in the car off and locked while I have run back into the house. NEVER at a store. If I have to go into the gas station they come with M.. Which is a pain. And they do get buckled back into their seats BEFORE I start pumping my gas (I am distracted pumping gas and they can get seperated) Everyone else can wait. I reason that I can leave them in the car while I run into the house because I go thorugh the garage and I can pretty much see them the whole time and it is very quick. I know what I am getting and where it is (usually). Plus we live in a quiet safe neighborhood. But at the gas station there is chaos and I usually do not know anyone there. Plus if I go inside without them there is no telling how long it will take.
As far as kid napping is concerned I do not think people take kids on a whim. But I do not think that is usually someone you know. "kidnappers" look for an opportunity. They do not know who or when they will strike but if they see a distracted parent and a wandering child they may take that opportunity. Since kidnappers do not have a tatoo on their head saying they are looking to take some kids I do not trust anyone I do not know. Women included. The ONLY time I let my guard down a little is when there are other women with their own adoring children so then I feel like they are a little more trustworthy. But I wouldn't let them watch my kid while I took the other to the bathroom.

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I do leave my kids to run into the house, now that my daughter can unbuckle herself from her carseat(she is 6), and unbuckle her brother as well(he is 4). My fear was always that if I would run in the house with the kids buckled in, and some freak thing happened to M.(heart attack, falling down the stairs, etc.), they would be trapped. Now I have run into a gas station to ask a quick question, basically shouted from the door so I was not far and they were always in eyesight. And again not until she could unbuckle if needed. My biggest fear is the kids getting trapped in the car(kids die in cars on cool days too). And I think it was due to reading the horror stories of it happening. So yes, I have done it, but not until my daughter was able to get out if need be. I don't think it is our right to judge others, but to keep people informed of the possible dangers and leave it up to them weather they want to take the risk. Some will think it is worth it, others will not. Most times nothing will happen either way. But you always hear of that one crazy thing that happened and maybe nothing would have prevented it anyway. I let my kids play outside, but not near the sidewalk, unless I am right there with them. Crazy because I could not stop a car hopping the curb even if I am there, but i imagine I could stop a potential kidnapping. So that is my reasoning, someone else would say I am paranoid and overprotective and someone else would say I am not protective enough. There will always be people at both ends of the spectrum and everywhere in between. Parenting may be the most important job in the world, but there is no perfect way to do it.