Have an 11 Month Old and Am Now Pregnant Again! Am I Going to Go Crazy?

I am currently getting through my first year of two under two. My boys are 17.5 months apart. The oldest will be 2 in April, and the youngest will be 5 months next week. Everyone tells me the first year is the hardest, then it's great. It is definitely hard - I can't lie. :) There's just not the same freedom of time with the baby when you have a toddler who still wants to be picked up alot and can't speak well yet. Also, there's no 'break' during nap time, or sleeping when the baby sleeps. On the occasions when they are both asleep, I steal whatever rest I can. (My youngest still wakes up 2-3 times a night.) Sleep deprivation is hard - Definitely start napping now, while you can! But, sometimes it works out - the baby sleeps in the morning and I have one on one time with the toddler, the baby's awake for part/most of the toddler's nap and I have one on one time with him then.

I carried the baby in a wrap for the beginning months and it was a lot of help to have my hands free, and to have the baby snuggled in close. I highly recommend it! I've gotten pretty strong from having to maneuver both of them at the same time. My oldest likes to test me more when I have the baby. That being said, there are also lots of sweet moments. Like today, after my oldest son's nap, when he let his younger brother play with his hand. I absolutely adore both of them, and it is really amazing to see them growing together, and to know that they will never remember not having the other one around.

Congrats - I hope you have a happy and healthy pregnancy!

I did the same thing but on purpose. It was very hard for the first year but now it is nice because they play together and are the best of friends. My oldest is now 5 and he and my middle daughter do everything together. It's a build in best friend. I recommend that you try and make sure you give each child some alone time with you and maybe bring one out at a time for special days with mommy. Do not worry too much because it goes by very quickly and sometimes I wish they were babies again. Hopefully your husband will help and your extended family because a little alone time is awesome when you go and go and go with 2 young kids. My husband and I moved and were alone with them and my husband traveled a lot and I was left to my own devises but we were lucky enough to have my son in a preschool program and then put my daughter in when she was 10 months 2 mornings a week and that really made a difference to me. Patience and sleep and help makes all the difference in the world. PS..if you are breast feeding try to stop before your second one is born because it is very difficult to stop when you are breastfeeding a baby if front of a 18 month old who wants to be fed. Good luck and count your blessings.

Congrats on the baby. My MIL had 5 in 5 years.... twice! So you can handle it. My husband is the oldest of 5. Then his mom started over again when he was 16 and had another 5 in 5 years. She was able to handle it (and still is her youngest is 3 years younger than my oldest) so I am sure you can too. Be positive... you didn't get rid of all the baby stuff so that is a major plus.My husband got mad one day packed up all baby related items my daughter was not using (said we are done we are not keeping this) donated EVERYTHING.... clothes, playpen, infant car seat, stroller, etc. to Salvation Army. The next week I found out I was pregnany with number 3 (they are exactly 2 years to the day apart). I bet you don't even have far to dig for it. 18 months really isn't too early to move to a big girl bed either so you don't need a new crib. Just work on that several months ahead... too many changes for her at once will be major tough!
A plus I know of having kids close together is they are wonderful playmates and they learn and challenge each other. My youngest learned all her letters and sounds, counting, numbers, math stuff, spelling, began reading, etc all at 2 because her sister was learning it a 4 in school. Potty training was easy too. They share alot of the same toys, clothes, etc and are very close! My older son and middle child are 5 years apart and they do not get along very well.
Start planning and praying now and you will be fine! God bless. Hope this helps:)

I have two kids who are only 15 months apart, and I'm not gonna lie, it's very hard. Now, when my oldest hit 20 months, it did get easier because she was starting to want to help, whereas before, she didn't know any better. She began wanting to get me diapers, wet wipes, burp rags when the baby spit up. One thing I can say is make sure you have a good support system. My husband worked 12 hour days back then, so didn't get home until 8 or later! It was really hard. When I went grocery shopping, I had to put the infant carrier in one cart, with my older one in the seat, and then pull another cart to hold the groceries. If I had to do it all over, one thing I would do is set up a time each week where someone comes over for 2-3 hours and lets me go out and get my errands ran. If you can avoid the double cart grocery trip, DO IT!! Also, get your older one on a nap schedule before the baby comes. My daughter laid down at noon at first, and slept for 2-3 hours (she's the older). Also, when your baby is tired, go ahead and lay him down in the crib so he (or she of course) falls asleep there. It will start good sleeping habits early, and therefore create harmony in the home. If you can, during naptime, get everything ready for dinner to be made. If it can be made ahead, do it during this time, if not, get out all the dishes you'll use and all dry ingredients so they're all ready for you because stepping over a toddler and trying to keep the baby occupied PLUS make dinner can get quite stressful. Have a place in the livingroom or somewhere where you keep diapers handy. This way your older one can grab things you need so you're not having to get up in cases where you're not easily able to. Also, and this is a big one, breastfeed or bottle feed while sitting on the floor. My daughter ALWAYS wanted attention while I was feeding the baby! So, before I fed him, I put something she liked on tv, sat on the floor, and that way it was easy for her to be close to me. She'd either sit between my legs, or right beside me and I could put my arm around her. It's really hard to try to get up from a chair or couch while breastfeeding because you're daughter is wanting held. I'm trying to think what else I learned the hard way.........hmmmm........Oh! Buy a double stroller and keep it in the car at all times. If you have a short grocery trip or to another store, it's easier to just put both kids in the stroller and go in. If I only needed maybe 10 items at the grocery store, I would do this and it was soooo much easier than going in and getting them both situated in a cart. I would just walk around in walmart and stuff with my stroller. And lastly, try to take your showers at night. It is NOT fun trying to take a shower with a screaming baby who, since he can't see mom behind the curtain thinks he's been left all alone, and a toddler trying to open the curtain to show you a toy. I can't tell you how many times I took a shower standing on one leg because I had to use the other one to hold the curtain shut! It's hectic, but try to set things up beforehand for success, because one thing I can tell you is that since I unexpectedly became a mother, and then a mother again shortly afterwards, I was NOT ready, and therefore my kids' first year or two of life are a total blur to me. It's sad really because I missed out on enjoying them. So, gets things set up, and try to enjoy it. You'll love it down the road because they'll play together nonstop! Mine are 6 and 7 now, and they're best friends

My two are over 6 years apart, but my sister is in the same boat as you! We were just talking about this topic this week. In addition to the obvious comments you've already gotten (that it will be harder in the beginning), she said one of the big mistakes she made was thinking her older one was a 'big girl' and getting frustarated over things (i.e., 'why will she not behave/go on the potty/etc...she's the big girl'.) She said looking back now, she realizes how little she still was, but in comparison, the younger was so much more tiny and needy. Just something for you to be prepared for!

Congrats and best of luck to you all!!

My youngest is 18 months, my middle is 2 1/2 and my oldest is 5. I found out I was pregnant with #3 when my daughter was 6 months old. I cried for 2 weeks. I had not planned on having a 3rd, I had hyperemesis with both previous pregnancies and never wanted to be prego again. I was terrified because they would be 3 1/2, 15 months and newborn. It is tough have 2 little ones, but at least it's only 2! You will adapt your routines and figure things out. You will also have days that nothing goes right. But, that's how it is will all families. Allow more time for everything. Simplify what you can.

The most difficult thing for me is that I don't even remember my daughters milestones after the baby was born becuase everything just all started to melt together. My biggest suggestion is keep your oldest in her crib and buy a second crib. I have 2 in cribs and although I didn't want to buy another crib, I didn't want too many transitions for the others on top of a new baby. Keep the oldest child's routine as much as you can, it will be comforting to her and you'll figure out how to mesh the baby into the framework. When I was pregnant with # 3 I started having my husband put the other guys to bed becuase I knew that when the new one arrived it would be difficult for me to do the bedtime routine and I didn't want it to change when the baby got here.

Hopefully you have family and friends willing to help, if anyone offers help take it.

I had 3 kids in 3 years and 3 months! The first month is the hardest, trying to get into some kind of rhythm, schedule, etc... Try to get your kids to nap at the same time...I know easier said then done, but it will be your LIFE SAVER! My kids are 5,4 and 2 and everyone still lays down (or at least in room) for 2 hours every day. It's my sanity saver. I spend the first hour doing NOTHING, and then I will fold laundry or anything else that needs to be done. We did not plan to have our children this close together, but I wouldn't do it any other way. The kids are so close and enjoy being together! (Now when we have all 3 going to college back to back, I will probably sing a different tune! :)

My two are 21 months apart and for the most part, it has not been as hard as others told me it would be. My youngest is almost 7 months old now and she interacts a lot with her older brother. He entertains her and that reminds me why I wanted more than one child in the first place. Keep a positive attitude and it really does go by quickly! It took a while but my two now will nap at the same time and it it nice for me to have a break each day. Congratualtions and enjoy the ride!

Well I have 2 that are 18 mths apart and I am still half way sane. I think. It is tuff at first but you will get the hang of it. I say schedule, schedule, schedule. Naps at same time, baths at same time, and feedings if possible at same time. A routine sets a child up so they always know what is coming next. If you were at our house in the evening after dinner time you would hear my now 5 and 6 yr old boy and girl say lets get our pj's it is time for a bath. They know the same thing happens every night. It is rare that we stray away from the schedule. If we do they get grumpy.

Congrats on the pregnancy! I have 2 boys that are 16 months apart and I love it. It was difficult for the first 4 or 5 months but that was just an adjustment period for me. The boys love playing together and they are learning everything together. The second picks up much faster on stuff. I am in the process of potty trainging them both. I was only potty training the 3 year old but my 2 year old wants to do it to. I also have a 12 week old baby girl. I would like to have another one close to her age so she will have a sibling to share things with. We will see. There is an adjusment period at the beginning but it gets easier as they get old b/c the older one tries and helps and the younger one can start to do things for themselves.

Hi C.! Congrats, your life will only get better! My boys are 18 months apart and I would not have it any other way. When I first found out that I was pregnant again, my baby was 11 months old as well. I was scared, nervous and excited all at the same time.

Yes, sometimes you will feel like you are going crazy! However, at the end of the day you will see just how blessed you really are. My advice would be to not be afraid to ask for help when you really need it. The first few months (really the first year!) will be the hardest so don't be ashamed if you are feeling overwhelmed with life. People will understand.

Also, I hope you have a Baby Bjorn or some kind of baby sling to carry your newborn around in because you will likely need it. My Baby Bjorn saved my life (and my back!) the summer my baby was born. Having free hands to help out your toddler when she really needs you will be beneficial.

Finally, probably the most important advice I can give you, would be to make sure to take special time with your daughter when you can. No matter how much you include her, she may feel "neglected" and may act out to get your attention. Take her to the library or playground, or even go for some ice cream-just the two of you. Everyone will feel so much better!

Good luck!

mine our 18 months apart...a girl then a boy.. I will not lie.. the first year is extremely difficult... bordering on insane. There were many days when we put the kids to bed.. and said to each other -- we survived another day...

I hired a sitter about once a week or every other week.. so I coudl do errands.. it is kind of fun to take one child on errands.. it is not fun to take toddler and an infant on errands.. we stopped going out to dinner when the baby was 6 months and my daughter was 2 as it was too hard to spoon feed his baby food and cut up her food and have time to eat.

get help grandmas, aunts... hire a sitter.. you will probably feel guilty cause the second child will not get all the attention that the first child got...

but now mine are 2 1/2 and 4 and they are best buddies and it just gets easier and easier..

every thing they can do their self is a joy.. and makes my life easier..

It actually started getting easier when the baby could hold up his head.. cause those first weeks I was carrying 2 kids down the steps in the morning.. and trying to keep his head supported..

Congratulations C.! I have two girls 19 months apart. They are now 4 and almost 3. I will be completely honest and say that the first months are pretty difficult. I found myself in total survival mode. They are both still needy and so you have to figure out how to tend to both at the same time. That will probably be pretty hard. When they were that age my hubby worked three jobs so it was all mommy all the time! I was able to find a wonderful trustworthy babysitter for when my youngest was old enough for me to leave. And that was worth the 7 dollars an hour! :) I also had a great church family with women my age who also had little bitties so they would come over for play dates. As of right now, the closeness is great! They entertain each other and the oldest is very helpful with the youngest. If it was up to me I'd have all of my children that close together. We are looking at having one or two more and if that's the case, we'll have them close. Maybe I'm crazy too.. but I think it's totally do able. The housework went to the wayside, the laundry got piled up some days but the girls were healthy, happy and momma still had all her hair! :) It's better now that they are older to if you can hold out through "survival mode".. the time after that is a piece of cake!! Oh and invest in a good double stroller...if you like to walk/run, a jogging stroller is a life saver! When I started to feel frazzled I would buckle them in, set them up with cup/bottle, put in my Ipod and off we'd go! It was a major stress reliever, and usually tired them out for naps. Good luck to you and God bless your pregnancy!! You can TOTALLY do this!! :)

Sweetie- I am the mother of 5! I thought the same thing! My children are 11,8,6,19 months, and 8 months! It is hard at first, but the older my girls get the easier it becomes. No your not going to go crazy! Its all about the routines that you have. I tell my boys ( the 3 oldest) everyday, that routine is key because you never have to ask what is going to happen next, you just know. My girls are the closest in age and just babies now. But the bond that the two have is awesome. My oldest daughter is in tune with the youngest, she is very protective of her sister and mimics mommy alot. I have the joys of watching them grow together and the things that they do. I swear all the time that they know each other babbles.

My two (a boy and a girl) are 16 months apart and it is awesome in so many ways! The both liked the same things at the same time - Barney, Sesame Street, Pokemon - and grew out of liking them at the same time. The only suggestion I have is to wean the older one off nursing or the bottle before the second one is born. That's what I did and having just one on the bottle really did help. You will have to change a lot of diapers, but you will survive. Congratulations!

I just wanted to say congratulations ! What a joy children are. I have three precious kids. My oldest boy is 2, my girl is 1 and my youngest boy is 1 month old. It just takes some adjusting to. Yes, my oldest kids play with the same toys also. I love that they are becoming best buddies ! I did find having a double stroller helped out alot when I went from one to two. God bless you and your family.

My daughter has 6 children, as of right now they are 11, 9, 6, 3, 2, 1.
The 3 and 2 yr. old are 11 months apart and the 2 and 1 yr. old are 13 months apart. We are raising several of these kids and I can tell you it has days where I want to pull my hair out and call someone to put me out of my misery...then there are the days when they all play together and only want to give hugs and kisses and snuggles.

We have legal guardianship of the 6 and 3 yr. olds and are looking to take the 2 and 1 yr. old too. That is 4 children Kindergarten and under, 3 in diapers/pullups and one who wears pull ups at night. The 3 yr. old just turned 3 a couple of weeks ago. and the 1 yr.old was deaf but had his ears cleaned out and has tubes, he can hear now.

So, no, you're not crazy, those days will come...lol. It can be done, housework may not be, laundry may not be, but you will enjoy parts of everyday. Mostly naptime and after bedtime for the kids. I love my life, I wouldn't give any of these little ones away or I would be missing out on the best thing in life. We do soccer, T-Ball, dance, gymnastics, and tumbling.

So, my advice to you...make it simple, do things the lazy way, use paper plates, plastic flatware for lunch. Plan ahead, learn to cook big meals on the week ends when your husband is home and freeze parts of it and then you can just heat stuff up. There are web sites that are all about cooking like 10 lbs. of hamburger, sectioning it into smaller amounts, freezing it , and using it over the next week and just adding specific ingredients to it and each night it's a different meal. Like one night tacos, the next beef stew, the next it's spaghetti.

It can be done and you will be great.

I don't have any quite that close, but I am the Mom of 5. My advice is NOT to grow up the oldest one too soon. They will still be a baby and as such can't be expected to instantly potty train, talk & help with the baby. I tried to rush my oldest daughter into potty training because her little brother was due a month before she turned 2. I tried to grow her up too soon, not allowing her to be a toddler, but expecting way too much from her. Her potty training didn't go near as well as it did with the others because of it.

So enjoy having them so close, I think you will love it in the long run. Get big sister a baby of her own, and let her feed & bathe her baby when you do yours.

Children are indeed a gift from God and He never gives us things He doesn't equip us for. Congratulations!! I'm about to become a Grandma for the 1st time, next week, and I am SO SO excited.

My brother and I were 13 months apart, and my mom said at first it was really hard. But... once we got a little older it was ok, and we always had a playmate. We were each other's best friends. (until we started school.) We grew up really close, and remained that way.

My youngest two are 17 months apart with the baby being almost 4 months old. So far, it has been really easy. My 20 month old is a boy and he LOVES his baby sister. He doesn't mind sharing my lap one bit. He's a middle child so he's used to sharing mommy, though not as much as it has been the past few months.

Just make sure you have one on one time with your 11 month old when the baby gets here. Let her "help" you as much as possible with the baby too.

My only other suggestion would be start now on building up your arms. We make one trip to and from the house, I carry both of them and lift the car seat/carrier with one hand into the mini van while holding the 17 month old. When it is nice out and not cold or raining, the 17 month old walks holding my hand when at all possible (which he loves!).

The only real challenge that I've come across is grocery shopping. Unless I put the baby in a sling, her carrier takes up most of the basket on the shopping carts. I can still get 3-4 days worth of groceries though usually, so I've had to start shopping more often for smaller amounts rather than going every 2 weeks like before.

Congratulations and enjoy the time with your little ones!

Congratulations! My girls are 18 months apart. There are some great advantages... as far as toys go, the age/development stages are similiar so you don't have so many toys laying arround. Clothing works out great too, the hand me downs never have to be put in storage, and you get your money's worth.

There will be some bumpy moments, but doesn't that occur no matter what the age difference.

My children are 4 and 3 years apart. The ones that are closer together in age are closer although all my children are close. When I worked in a daycare center there were several families that the children were close in age. Some of the benefits are that they were interested in the same things at the same time. They could at times wear the same size clothes and shoes. They could partake in the same group activities. There will be difficult days but what parent does not have difficult days? I encourage you to make time for yourself, an hour or afternoon away from the children to do something you want to do, take a nap, read, get a massage, go shopping etc... Whatever you enjoy doing. Also make arrangements to have a date night with your hubby every so often. Sometimes just even taking a ride in the evening to someplace quiet to take in a sunset or see the moon and stars can be wonderful! God Bless and if someone offers to help you by making a meal, watching the children, helping around the house let them! Someday you will be in the position to help someone else!

We have two under two (20 mo old twins) and I have not had any 'singleton' to compare to. I can imagine that there are things it would be hard to do with two at different ages just as there are for two of the same age. After hearing how hard twins would be, the most difficult thing I have encountered would be trying to figure out how to get two girls that are too big for carseat/carriers and not walking yet out of the car, in the rain, by myself. It was trial by fire! Anyway, you will be able to do it! Good Luck! God never gives us anything we cant handle.

Honey you will be just fine. My twins were 16 months when their little brother was born. Just be sure to set aside some time each day to just focus on your older one. Involve her in helping with the little one as much as possible. They can hand you a diaper or sit with you and look at a book while nursing the baby. The hardest part was missing all the milestones because it was just so hectic. Set up a schedule. Keep a list of feedings, meds, times or it is easy to get confused. Be sure to take care of yourself too. Let the housework go and just do the bare minimum. Good luck.

Our two oldest children are 11 months apaprt. I was so upset when I found out I was pregnant with our second child because our oldest had colic and I could not imagine living through that again. However, in the end, it was the best thing ever for us. It is hard at first but we did really well with it and had another in less than 2 years. It is nice if you have some help from grandparents or friends. We had our 4th when the older kids were 7, 6 and 4. IMO it was much harder to have them that far apart. Although, the older kids have really enjoyed her and keep asking us to have another!! Good luck!

There will be tough times, but you'll get through them. Honestly, there will be tough times no matter whether you have only one child or a whole bus-load of children, and whether they're close together or widely spaced.

I'll be honest -- the "positives" come mostly after the baby is older. My two are 19 months apart, and are currently 3 & 5. They're best friends, and entertain each other very well! However, there were plenty of times in that first year when it was overwhelming having a newborn and an older baby. I say "older baby," because there are times when a 19-24-m/o still needs to be babied. There were a few memorable times when both kids would be crying, both demanding my undivided attention, and I just sat in the floor with one arm on them both and cried as well. But those times were few and far between. [I was also a "single mom" during the week, since my husband was only home on weekends for that first year, so it was just me dealing with them all the time without much of a break.]

Tips on dealing with it: when the baby is a baby, sleep when the baby sleeps if at all possible; lower your house cleaning standards so that everything is just taken care of -- you'll have time to clean later (like, years later); take advantage of anybody who offers to babysit one or both of the children, and if nobody offers, you may want to ask a friend (or pay a babysitter); involve your older child as much as possible in the care of the baby as well as cleaning the house, laundry, etc.; read to your older child while nursing your younger child; start piling up easy recipes (esp. things like crock-pot recipes that can be started in the morning to be done for supper); get and use a baby sling or other carrier.

Don't worry, you will be fine, it will crazy and tiring, but it will (I think) be better than if you waited. Ours are not quite 15 months apart and life in the beginning wasn't that bad. I think it was easier than if our first child was older. It has it's ups and downs, you remember more from the first so you know what to do with the 2nd. You can, if you are lucky, get them both to take naps at the same time and then you have a small window of peace during the day time. Our daughter went to Moms Morning Out 2 days a week after our son was born so that gave me the morning hours to have mommy son time and to keep my own sanity. You will have two in diapers and but the 2nd will hopefully learn quicker about potty training from the first (we're not that lucky, at least not yet!). They will hopefully be the best of friends growing up and they can have their own play buddy when you need to get a few things done on your own - laundry, dinner prep etc... You will have meltdowns together and they might fight as they get older but it will all work out and you'll be happy you have them this close. Good luck with your pregnancy and best of luck with 2 under 2!
A. B

Congratulations :-)
Two of my children are almost 10 months apart...and it was hard. But at the same time you don't notice, because for you, this is how it is. You'll get into a routine and you'll have a great time. Take a lot of pictures...because it will go faster than having them further spaced apart. LOL...I tell people that I don't remember when they were babies, and I thank GOD that I have pictures :-) We actually had 4 children in 5 years and for us it has been FANTASTIC! I would say that our 4 children ( 11,9,7,6) are very close and have a unique relationship with each other... they are still very close which I think is amazing! Again, congratulations!! Remember to keep a sense of humor...it also makes it all easier :-)

As a mom of twins, I'll tell you that we are having a blast! Is it easy? Nope. Is it fun? Absolutely. My biggest piece of advice is to remain positive. We try not to get too serious around here and laugh at as much as we can. I could dwell on how hard things are, but where's the fun in that? I want to enjoy my two little blessings, and we do. You will survive, don't worry!