D.J. asks from Huntington Beach, CA on August 12, 2011
Has Anyone Had a Bad or Known of Bad Situations in Elementary School?
I'll try to make this quick: my daughter is now ready for kindergarten and I am not sure if I will be homeschooling or sending her to school. I am terrified of all the bad things I have heard, seen and experienced myself over the years (I also feel like maybe I watch too much news). But, honestly, I prefer to be informed rather than ignore all the scary stuff going on these days. My question: have many of you had things happen when you were in elementary school or known of things happen to others? For instance, my uncle was a child molester and he worked at an elementary school as a janitor. Bullying, guns at school, drugs (I'm sure), things of that nature. I have the ability and thankfully my husband is on board if I decide to homeschool. I am most worried about something life altering happening to her when she is at such a young, vulnerable age and I feel like children just don't have enough eyes on them keeping them safe at school -- say, during recess and if they have to go to use the restroom etc. I guess I'm just looking for other thoughts and opinions on this subject. Please share your stories.
S.B. answers from Topeka on August 12, 2011
My kids learned at an early age what sex was. There was no way around it, other than sheilding them from the world. I had to have THE TALK with my daughter at 7 years old. She is now 9.
Not to mention all the language these kids have heard at home so they use it all at school.
But for the most part, school is fun for them. There are ups and downs.
I am all for homeschooling. And I think if you do it, go ahead.
3 moms found this helpful
S.R. answers from San Diego on August 14, 2011
I understand where you're coming from, I would love to homeschool as well (my daughter is only 16 months atm). Personally, I went to a tiny school in a tiny town, and in all my years, the scariest thing that happened was one bomb threat in high school (and nothing came of it). But not everyone gets to go to little country schools. Just a town over, they have to have metal detectors and a police officer on campus everyday. That to me is terrifying. I say go for it. If it makes you feel that she is safer and can also have more attention on her learning, why not? There's always sports and other classes she can take outside of school to get the social aspect, so she isn't missing out on making friends.
L.A. answers from Austin on August 12, 2011
Good grief, you need to get a grip or you are never going to be able to ever let your child out of your sight..
Become a volunteer at your child's school and secondly, you need to see a therapist and work through these fears.. They are not healthy and will have a terrible effect on your child.. A mom should be confident and secure in her world. You sound as though you do not have a healthy outlook on the world.
Please send your child to schooll and make an appt ASAP..
14 moms found this helpful
C.O. answers from Washington DC on August 13, 2011
I think you are WWWWWAAAAAYYYY over thinking this....
Stuff happens, that's true. I went to CA public schools from 6th to Senior - didn't have a problem...yes, there were bullies - not to me - but there were bullies - hell, there are bullies ON HERE!!! And we're supposed to be adults.
You cannot shelter your daughter from life...one day she will need to walk out into the big bad world and handle herself....knowing what to do, what to say and how to present herself....if you don't feel they have enough eyes watching them at school - volunteer to be a nurse, or a reader or a recess helper...but really? you sound like a helicopter mom (who admits she's watched too much news! :) LOL!) and you need to take a DEEP BREATH and let her go to school....if it's not working out for you - then you know you have options....but until then - don't go into panic mode and make her frightened to go to school.
9 moms found this helpful
S.Y. answers from Chicago on August 13, 2011
Don't take this the wrong way...but why are you looking for negative stories? Do you want to confirm fears that you have? I think it would be much better to solicit positive stories about public schools. Why purposfully seek out the negative...how is this going to serve you??
8 moms found this helpful
S.B. answers from Dallas on August 12, 2011
You cannot live your life in fear. Bad things happen. And bad things happen everywhere. I know many people who choose to home school. I have heard a variety of reasons for homeschooling. I have never heard someone say they want to do it because they are afraid. We all want to protect our kids from anything bad. But your child could just as easily have to deal with molesters, guns, drugs and bullying while being at home with you. We simply cannot be with our kids every second of the day. Home schooling is not equivalent to living in a bubble. You will need to teach your child to make good choices and how to deal with tough situations whether you home school or not. If this is your only motivation, then send her to school. I really hope you are not as consumed by fear as this post sounds.
8 moms found this helpful
A.G. answers from Houston on August 12, 2011
When i was in 6th grade i had a gym/swimming teacher that was later arrested for lude conduct with a child in his swimming class. I was a little creeped out by the guy so i stayed my distance. I was armed with the knowledge and skills to trust my gut and i knew what to do in situations where i was uncomfortable.
We cant protect our kids from everything but we can arm them with the tools to use when they need protecting.
7 moms found this helpful
B.G. answers from Los Angeles on August 12, 2011
I went to a public elementary school and have nothing but awesome memories. I think something that extreme happening is far and few between, hence it being all over the news when it does happen.
Huntington is an AMAZING area. I am sure your baby will be fine =)
6 moms found this helpful
N.F. answers from Seattle on August 13, 2011
Ohhhh the media drives me nuts sometimes!!! Any BAD news is GOOD news... I'm talking RATINGS! So it is blown up way more than it should be IMO.
The best memories I have are from school, all 13 years! I remember Kindergarten and it was FABULOUS. The best part was creating something during crafting and bringing it home to my mom :)
I was inappropriately admired vocally by one of my teachers in highschool. By my mom and all my years in school up until that point, I was taught to report something like that to an adult. Which is exactly what I did! School assembly's, power points, videos, rally's and other sources they use are VERY informative and potentially save lives. Communication is KEY between you and your DD. Teach her what you want to teach her about safety, but I'm telling you, school has got it covered. My children will always be told to make as much noise as possible and to NEVER let someone take them in their car when they know they are not suppose to. My grandma gave me a whistle to wear around my neck to school everyday :)
If it makes you feel better, walk her to her class in the morning, and get there early to wait near the door to pick her up after class. I'm sure most parents do this when their first child goes to school for the first time ;) As someone else pointed out... "worrying won't prevent bad things from happening". PLEASE don't over-shelter her. Give yourself a break for a few hours and let your little caterpillar become a butterfly :)
6 moms found this helpful
S.B. answers from Redding on August 12, 2011
My daughter started kindergarten at 4. Was I a little nervous? Heck yes. My son came along 10 years later and I was nervous for my baby to start kindergarten at 5.
They both did great.
I was more worried than they were.
But they were both ready. I'd prepared them as best I could to be okay.
And they were.
I am not against homeschooling whatsoever. I've seen families where it works, but I have to say that I've also seen the opposite. I've seen kids that were so far from being socialized that it made me sad for them.
If a parent wants to homeschool for educational purposes, fine. Temper that with being around plenty of other children. Don't do it to "protect" them from other kids because they will have no clue what other kids are about.
There are things that kids learn, good and bad, that are part of growing up and learning differences in culture, behaviors, attitudes and personalities.
If you live in Long Beach and have a bunch of gang kids in kindergarten, you've got problems. If you are worried about just the random and normal things kids encounter, it might not be so bad for your kids to encounter them.
My kids were both raised in public schools and there was no fighting, no not being safe going to the bathroom, etc.
Talk to the school about their policies. Tell them your fears. Find out what programs they have in place.
If you live in a really dangerous place, homeschooling might be the best option. BUT, keep your kids in contact with other children their ages.
The only downside I've seen to homeschooling is segregating children to the point they don't know how to interact.
Not all parents do that, but some do.
It's not a good thing, in my opinion.
6 moms found this helpful