Handling T.V. Attachment

Get rid of the TV.

But if you really want to keep it you should make a strict schedule of TV watching, for example at the same interval every day as part of her daily routine, not just when you randomly need a break or something to distract her. Children don't work on timetables the way adults do, but they do thrive on established routines.

Does she sit still and watch the TV for the whole 45 minutes? At her age, that really isn't developmentally appropriate. That is a long block of sedentary time for such a young child.

I completely understand. I have three kids and my friend recommended the "Raising your spirited child" book for me! I am right there with you. I have two really easy going boys that entertain themselves, understand if they need to wait a minute or 10 for something, and take no for an answer most of the time. And then I have my daughter. She BOMBARDS me with requests for things from the minute she wakes up.

NO Alex you can't have a different cereal, I got you the one you wanted - now eat. No you're not getting any apple juice you just had milk. No you can't have a snack, go finish your breakfast. No you can't have lunch it's 9:30am. No TV. No Alex, it's raining we can't go outside and play. I just read you three books, Mommy is done with books right now. We will have a snack at 10am. No snack. No snack. No snack. No TV today. And that will all happen before 10am LOL. She is SO persistent and jumps from item to item... and that doesn't even include all the requests I say YES to. It's very, very tiring. I completely understand how you get worn down fast.

As to the TV I only let her watch TV a few times a week. What worked for me during the summer was I had a schedule and Friday was Movie day, then Wednesday was also a TV day where I allowed one kids show (30-45 minutes PBS style show - Syd the Science kid, Word World, etc). The schedule seemed to work really well. On other days we had other planned activities. Reading at the Library on Thursday. Craft day on Tuesday. Desert day on Monday. The kids knew what the special event was for each day and it worked out really well.

I'll be watching with sympathy and interest to see what others suggest! Good luck.

I think limiting TV time is good, but maybe you should try switching it up a bit. For instance, maybe make it a total hour and let her half some morning time and some evening time, 1/2 hour each.
If you use up all her time in the morning, she will whine all day so maybe having some time left for later will give you some leverage.
If she chooses to whine too much after morning TV, then no evening TV. And, if she whines too much over it, you can take it away all together.
I personally don't think TV is bad especially if you have educational things for them to watch. But, if she won't be happy doing other fun things then you might have to cut it all together for a while.

Also, if my kids told me they were too tired to do something besides watch TV...guess where they went? To bed. They figured out the "too tired" thing didn't get them very far.
Your little one is only two. She will whine and test over just about everything. Just stay consistant and try being creative.

Best wishes!

Hi F.,
We went through something similar. we also limit video watching for our 2 year old to no more than 1 hour per day - usually 1/2 hour in the morning when I get dressed and 1/2 hour when I get dinner and bath prepared.... What I found helps to keep it controlled:
1. I announce a "2 minute warning" before I turn off the TV. That way he is prepared and even waves bye bye to the TV when I turn it off. No more tears this way.

2. I also don't let him watch videos unless he has eaten his bfast. That is, we have a definite schedule of when we turn on and off the TV. And he is now used to the routine.

I hope this helps a bit. Hang in there.

Jilly

If it were not the TV then it would be another toy ... in the summer it is all about the pool for my son, in the winter it's all about the video games, really there will always be something they want endlessly ... kids/people are like that. When she has more then one tantrum in the day take away TV time the next day and remind her why and if she continues with the tantrums she will not have TV. It is ok to be sad to not have something (my son swears that rocket, leo, june, annie and quinsey from the little einsteins are his best friends) but she has to learn to deal with the sadness of not having it. Sometimes it works for us and sometimes my son goes a whole week w/out video games or pool depending on the season.

My hat is off to you how much you are able to limit TV time already! I don't know how you do it. How do you wash dishes, do laundry, get dressed, shower, etc. without your child turning your home into a disaster zone in the meantime?
I have two very energetic little boys (1 1/2 and 3 1/2 years old) and I am alone with my kids a lot because my hubby and I work alternate schedules.
Without tv and/or videos to distract them while taking a shower in the morning, paying bills, wash laundry, etc. we wouldn't be able to get anything done. I do play with them, too, it's not like they are sitting in front of the TV all day, but I do have chores to do, too, that need to be done.
They play by themselves for a little while, too, but if they get bored - and they will get bored after a while they start getting into mischief, like dumping out toychests, fighting with each other, destroying things, etc.
I know that watching tv is not good but I don't have anybody to watch them while I am doing chores.
How do you do it? I am also very curious about the other answers that you will get.
Keep on with the good work!

I think probably the more they watch the more they want. It's pretty addictive to the kids actually, just like it can be for grownups. The more shows you watch on a regular basis, the more you want to watch the next episode.

I would play down TV's importance and don't give it leverage power. The more it's talked about as the thing she can't have or can't do unless this or that or whatever, it takes center stage which is the opposite of what you are trying to accomplish. Don't schedule her day around the program or video. If it fits in it fits in, if not it doesn't. Tell her starting today, whenever you're ready, tell her that sometimes there won't be video on but there will always be something fun to do and learn. Let your enthusiasm show so she feels it too.

My also spirited boy watches one 20-30 minute program maybe 5 days a week. He knows there are some days w/o a program. I LOVE Heather A's idea of Dessert Day, Craft Day, Movie Day... I think that's awesome! Kids love having a special thing on the calendar to look forward to. Heather I'm going to try that here too. Thanks for the idea!

F. is there something you can find that your daughter can feel excited about doing or discovering? Could it be some special type of art or craft that she can do on the kitchen table with an old tablecloth spread out? Or play doh? Some musical instruments especially for her age? Like a xylophone, a classic piano keyboard (child size), can you play nice music for her and see if she develops an ear and appreciation for music? Can you give her the beginner's Leap Frog? A collection of some kind, that's easy for her to make or obtain? A special box of crafts and toys and books just for using when you're making dinner? Maybe you can come up with better ideas.

Main thing is, don't talk about TV too much or make it sound so important anymore. Remember you set all the rules and the schedule for the house, and stay cool while she whines. She has no choice but to accept your rules. I understand how a spirited child can almost exhaust you! Just remember not to back down once you start your plan, because TV is an addiction and you're seeking to weaken its hold. I hope all the posts provide some ideas and comfort for you!

Hi-
As a kid I was not limited much in what I wanted to do. My parents didn't limit our exposure to soda, candy, tv, or toys etc... Neither my sister or myself ever had an issue with withdrawal from a particular form of entertainment ( or ADD or weight problems....we are both totally normal!). I notice in my own 2yo the more I limit something, the more she desires it. Example- fruit snacks. The girl LOVES her some fruit snacks!!! I try to only let her have this treat at special times, or use it as a last stitch bribe when I REALLY REALLY need cooperation-( like to get her out the door to a Dr appt or something...) But it seems like the more I limit them, the more she asks for them. I have heard at this age they learn to manipulate parents a bit with this type of behavior...but I am not into examining the child psyche and all that jazz...Im just a normal busy Mom.

I am not sure what your thoughts are regarding limiting the TV time.....I don't let mine watch ALL the time, but we have times when she can expect a certain show on sprout, or she will ask to watch a particular DVD and I don't fight her on it because she never gets upset when I put the shows on or when I turn them off....it isn't a "special" thing....just another part of our day. I am sure others may disagree, but if I need to get a particular task done (without the ...ahem..."help" of two little 2yo hands.....LOL) I have a few shows taped in the DVR to put on for her so I can get 10 or 15 minutes uninteruppted to accomplish something.

Sounds like you are a great Mom....kudos to you for working from home and running a daycare.....that's like the hardest job in the world!!!

I would try to make it a less special thing and see if that helps. I know people feel strongly about TV time, but seriously...TV in moderation doesn't cause health problems, and if well chosen, can teach kids all sorts of things....some of the sprout shows and Nick Jr are terrific on teaching manners......my daughter is extremely bright, talkative and polite...says please and thank you...we are too, but I know she gets this reinforced on some of the kids shows...every little bit helps!!

Good luck!

If it's the persistent asking, tell her she gets one warning that she must stop asking for more time. If it continues, do not let her watch the next day. If she is asking while the TV is on, turn it off after one warning. If you start this early, she will listen - after testing you a couple times. She is old enough to understand this.

This technique has worked for me so far (my kids are 9 and 14). For instance, my son is the only kid on the block who wears his helmet when biking or scootering because he knows I will make him come inside if he takes it off.

We have a rule that the TV is not turned on until after lunch. Then it is used as a wind down before nap time (quiet time together). That way my 2 yo knows what comes next and what is expected of him.

The music idea is great too. We frequently have an afternoon dance party at our house (my first grader enjoys it too).

Unplug it-and put it in the garage-and tell her it is broken.

My 2yo wants to watch a documentary called "Babies" all the time. I let her sometimes, but she will transition to other things mostly because we also have a 5yo who will help her transition. One thing I LOVE to do to stay away from the tv room is play fun music in her bedroom and let her (and her sister) dance. You don't have to listen to boring kid's music anymore either. There are awesome kid's songs by bands like Cake, They Might Be Giants (they do the "Hot Dog" song for Mickey Mouse Club), and BareNakedLadies. I really love the music time with them and have a blast listening to the music. I don't purchase any unless they like it. Most of it I get free from the library. Good Luck!

I also suggest having video time in am and again in pm. I would focus on eliminating the whining by telling her that you can't "hear" her when she whines and then not respond to her whining. Don't try to talk her out of watching TV. Sympathize with her but hold firm. And don't continue to respond when she continues to whine.

When her kids' whining begins to get on her nerves, my daughter sends them to their room where they'll stay until they can be good company again. They can play in their room. If she's truly tired she may fall asleep. I agree that you could suggest taking another nap when she's "too tired" to play.

Try taking your little one outside to the park or something fun like that. Sometimes crafts get boring. Maybe have a sticker hunt outside or go somewhere new.