My 7-year-old daughter and I seem to wind up arguing almost every day about brushing her hair. She has fine, slightly wavy, shoulder-length hair that seems to get tangled quite easily. She doesn't want to cut it shorter, but every day she complains about how much it hurts to brush it. I've suggested brushing it more often so it doesn't get quite as tangled in between, but she doesn't like that idea either. She also generally refuses to wear it in a ponytail. I'm sick to death of hearing the complaints every day when she won't take any suggestions about how to make it better. How can I end the hair battles?
ETA: She does brush and wash her own hair. I taught her to start at the bottom and to hold her hair above the brush. My hair is down to my waist and brushing it isn't always the most fun part of my day, either, but that's why I mostly wear it up in a bun. She says it hurts less when she brushes her own hair, but she still seems to need to come to wherever I am just to complain about how much it hurts!
We use the green bottle of hair de-tangler. I use it on her hair when she gets ready for dance class, to put it up ion a bun, or for gymnastics in pig tails. It really dampens the hair if you use enough it smooths the hair very well and it looks good. The scent is not too bad and I usually can stand the smell and not get a migraine.
I usually pay about $2 for it at Wal-Mart in the hair shampoo/conditioner area. It might be Suave or Breck.
When my DD was this age, we had the SAME battles! She's almost 10 now and she now takes a brush to school, makes her own pony tail, washes, blow dries, and straightens her own hair. It took waaaaaaay too long for her to get where we're at now, but we did it! Let her have it how she likes it for now. She'll figure it out on her own. It DOES get better!
Pick your battles.
What would happen if you didn't brush her hair for her?
For a few days?
Do you wash her hair or can she do it herself?
I'm told conditioners can help with tangles.
Doesn't work for me but maybe I haven't tried the right conditioners.
=============================
I sometimes work out my own tangles using my fingers.
Teasing apart each knot not with a comb or brush but just my fingers.
As Marda says, your daughter's scalp is tender.
Teach her to brush her hair from the ends up. Slowly comb out the tangles working backwards, not from the scalp.
I'm a stylist and it hurts less and causes less breakage. Also, encourage her to use a detangling milk spray.
I suggest that you let her brush her own hair. My granddaughter started brushing her own hair around that age. She also complained about how it hurt when her mother brushed it for her. Her mother "sweet talked" her into a short haircut which my granddaughter loved after she got it. It helped that my daughter, her mother,had a short cut at the time.
If, for some reason, she isn't able to or doesn't want to brush her own hair, give her a choice of getting a short style or putting up, without complaint, when you brush it. Then try to be gentle.
Do you have difficult to brush hair? If not perhaps you could talk to a friend to learn some ways, to brush tangled hair, that are more gentle. My granddaughter told me to brush in layers. First the bottom layer, then a middle layer and then last the top layer. Also to divide the hair vertically in chunks and to hold the chunk at the scalp while gently brushing starting at the ends. We also spray her hair with water. That seemed to help.
Also, remember that your daughter's scalp is more tender than yours.
have her start using conditioner. also get her a detangling comb from avon.
Have you tried the spray on detangler for dry hair? My girls have very thick hair, and I don't know how we would have survived without it. Another option, if she will go for it , is braids. I would braid their hair, one on each side, in pig tails, and take one out at a time to brush it. I did this while it was wet, and it really did solve the problem. I gave them the choice, braids, or get it combed, but fighting was going to result in a short cut, which they did not want.
M.
johnsons spray detangler helps some, but i had to do it because she drenches her hair. After using it a few months, she learned how to brush her hair without complaining partly because it is stinky according to her friends.
Same issue with 7 year old daughter- I braid her hair every night in one large braid. then in the morning there is next to nothing for snarles to brush through. I also lightly spray for detangler before braiding- works like a charm!!
My daughter is 5, and we have the same problem. We had kept her hair short for a while, which I think was adorable, but she wanted to grow it "to her butt" : ) So we made a deal - we brush her hair 2X/day - in the morning and before bed. We wash her hair and condition it well every other day. So we really only have bad knots 1 out of 4 brushings, and then she cries and carries on. I just try to brush it as fast as possible and remind her that she can always cut it short.
We do let her practice brushing her own hair. Then I have to do the "finger test" (can I run my fingers through her hair without encountering knots at the bottom). If I can't, I get to brush it. It's a good incentive to brush well the first time.
Good luck!
I also suggest braiding her hair. I do this with my 3.5 year old daughter. Brush in the morning and before bed and two braids for bed. My grandma did this with my hair too.
My daughter went through a phase of griping about hair brushing and I told her she could keep it brushed or cut it. She didn't want it cut. It got down to her waist.
She took a bath every night and I gently combed it from the bottom up and then I put it in a single braid. That makes for zero tangles.
If she complained, I just told her she had two choices. Long hair or short hair, but she wasn't getting out of brushing it either way.
When she was 11, she decided she wanted her hair cut and I let her get it done. It was darling! She still had to comb it and she learned to blow dry it by herself. She is 24 and is just now starting to let her hair grow back out. She loved it being short but wants her long hair back.
Hair isn't worth fighting over, but your daughter is old enough to know that not brushing will make more tangles and it just keeps getting harder the less you brush. A shorter style might make her happier.
Best wishes.
I have the same problem with my 5 year old. I've been thinking about cutting her hair but I've always had long hair so I would like her to have long hair to. We've tried the detangler and they work but 5 mins later her hair is tangled agian. When she was little she had curly crazy hair and I almost wish it was like that agian because it was easier to manage.
