26 answers

Gymnastics

I don't know what to do I think my daughter is wanting to quit gymnastics and she's is really good at what she does, should I let her quit???????

What can I do next?

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My daughter is 9 years old. She has taken gym since she was 3. She is now on a comp team. She takes 9 - 11 hrs a week all year long..........I am tired of gymnastics!!!!! She was ready to quit...totally completely never going back quit! We took a week off and she missed it so much that she was ready to go back the next monday. I did make it totally her choice. She is the one who has to live with the decision. "The most important thing......if it is just work it isnt worth the time." That was the quote from her coach. She advised us to take time off and not even think about it for a while. You have to enjoy a sport to really be able to put that much time into it. Good Luck.

My little girl went through the same thing with gymnastics... I let her stop after finishing the session and we went back a about a year and a half later to a different gym and things are back to normal ~ she loves it again. In between times she took dance lessons and continued to play soccer ~ I think she just needed a break. She told me that she was not having any fun anymore. I want her to know that her feelings are important and that I respect them ~ listen to her, let her know you are hearing what she is saying and then tell her to sit on it for a bit and then see if she still feels the same way.
Best of luck!

I guess my question would be, "Why make her stay in something she no longer enjoys?" It is an important life lesson to know that it is fine to stop something, if it is not enjoyable. Algebera will not be an option, but gymnastics certainly is an option. Another life lesson will come from this -either she will learn that most choices in life are not final, and you can go back -- or she will learn that she she makes good decisions, learn to trust her instincts, and move on to find other, more enjoyable ways to spend her time.

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When my kids were growing up, I had one rule about extracurricular activities....if you start it, you will finish it. That meant if my son wanted to sign up T-Ball, he would finish the season. If my daughter wanted to do gymnastics, she would finish the season. If they didn't like something, they knew they could quit at the end of the season, but they weren't going to let their team down or waste our money. There's always an expense with starting any new thing, like buying leotards, tap shoes, baseball gloves, cleats, etc. So, I wanted my kids to see that we don't just try something on a whim and quit midway. If it's something your daughter has been doing for years, let her quit for awhile. She may decide she really misses it and just needed a break. Or she may want to try something new. Let her try new things. She may be even better at them than gymnastics. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

My advice is yes. While you don't want your child to grow up being a quitter you also don't want to turn them completely against trying new activities either. I believe all children have talent and sometimes they must try a lot of things to determine what that talent is.

My daughter tried a lot of things. We let her try anything she expressed an interest in trying. She quit piano twice before she got to high school and then started it again and became quite good and she really enjoys playing now. On the opposite side of that, my friend made her daughter stay in piano for years and completely turned the child against anything musical.

If it were a team commitment, I agree that I would insist she finish the season as a courtesy to her team. But I would never recommend forcing a child into a team sport that they did not want to play. Having coached girl's softball for many years, I can tell you that the whole team suffers if there is a child on the team who doesn't want to be there. That is a lose/lose situation for all involved.

Yes. Personally, I don't believe in forcing kids into activities. What they love may not be what they are best at. I would definitely speak to her about it and let her know that it is her decision and that you'll support her either way. As parents, we should motivate and inspire but never pressure our children-- they are people, individuals, with their own passions, desires, etc...

You need to find out why and if she really wants to quit. How old is she? How long has she been taking? Have you talked to her coach about this at all?

I would not let her quit until you know why she is wanting to. Sports are not always fun and as you get better they become more difficult but if she is really talented and has a passion for the sport maybe she should continue. Don't know enough to give you a good answer though.

I work for Mental Management Systems in Flower Mound and sometimes we receive questions like this from parents of gymnasts and usually in the situations I have seen it is due to fear of being injured. One 10 year old was a competitive cheerleader who suddenly had a fear of backhandsprings and could not mentally do them anymore - yet she had never personally been injured. This is a self image issue and self image can be corrected through proper imprinting. If this is the case check out our website for more information www.mentalmangement.com or send me a message.

Good Luck!

Listen to your daughter. Find out why she wants to quit. Encourage her to continue. Be supportive. Let her know the talent you see in her. Ultimately, make the decision together.

My little girl went through the same thing with gymnastics... I let her stop after finishing the session and we went back a about a year and a half later to a different gym and things are back to normal ~ she loves it again. In between times she took dance lessons and continued to play soccer ~ I think she just needed a break. She told me that she was not having any fun anymore. I want her to know that her feelings are important and that I respect them ~ listen to her, let her know you are hearing what she is saying and then tell her to sit on it for a bit and then see if she still feels the same way.
Best of luck!

How old is she? Are you or her coach/gym pushing her to where it isnt' "fun" anymore? My rule is you try something for a season (soccer season, football season, 1 session of dancing, etc.) after that season they can decide if they want to continue or try something else. My daughter wanted to quit gymnastics shortly after she started b/c she wasn't progressing, but I told her she had to finish the session (I was basing the session lenght on when my son stopped soccer b/c they started at the same time - her gym doesn't have sessions). By the time the "session" was up, she had learned some skills and hasn't wanted to quit yet. But, if your daughter has tried it for a while and is just ready to try soemthing else, I'd let her! I mean, is she isn't enjoying it! But, if she just started, I'd make her finish a session. I'd also try to figure out what the deal is...like I said, are they pushing too hard, are there too many practices in a week or too many hours where she can't enjoy friends or other activities?

Not sure how old is she. My son started soccer about five years ago he is really good too, he now plays in a select solar league at only 7 years old, however, he wanted to quit too and I told him he would have to wait until the season was over because he made a commitment to the team. By the time the season was over he wanted to keep playing so maybe that would work! good luck

I guess my question would be, "Why make her stay in something she no longer enjoys?" It is an important life lesson to know that it is fine to stop something, if it is not enjoyable. Algebera will not be an option, but gymnastics certainly is an option. Another life lesson will come from this -either she will learn that most choices in life are not final, and you can go back -- or she will learn that she she makes good decisions, learn to trust her instincts, and move on to find other, more enjoyable ways to spend her time.

I have a 6yr old who loves gymnastics & this summer she was just burned out so, I let her quit. I explained that it is not a team sport & if it was she could not quit. She has already began asking when she can start again.

How old is she?? That could sway me one way or the other. However, I'm a mom who gives her children a little bit of choice. My son wanted to quit baseball, so I let him. He took 2 seasons off, then returned this last spring with a better attitude and he is enjoying it much more this time around.

Assuming there is not a coaching issue I would ask her to finish through the next milestone (hopefully there is a couple of months until the next big milestone) and if she still does not want to do it then she can find a new activity. That way you give it plenty of time to pass and she may become interested again. If she is really not interested she will be good at other sports and I personally would keep her in something that she really loves to do as opposed to something she is really good at.

How old is your daughter and how long has she been taking gymnastics??? My duaghter is 3 and for the first few months she hated it...but it was more like being uncomfortable...after a while she would tell me she didnt want to go but then the day of gymnastics she was ready to hit the bars and such...anyhow..it only goes through the school year so i keep talking about it with her to make sure she knows what she wants..it takes a while for a three year old to really understand what she likes or dislikes about something...what i am doing for this next year is putting her in dance as well as gymnastics and then i will have something to compare it too and then i will know more if she likes gymnastics or is just afraid of tumbling in the air...i will not let her give up because of her fears...that is a GREAT lesson to give your child...so just ask questions..let me know hows it goes!

How old is she? Is she getting burnt out, having to commit too much time to it for someone her age? My daughter is 9 and started with one hour a week for 2 yrs while she moved from Level 1 up to 3. After 18mths she wanted to add in power tumbling. So it was 2hrs a week but on different days. Last month they asked her to join the team. I explained to her what that involved (more class time, harder practice, meets, etc). Wanted to be sure she knew what she was getting into so we didn't put all this money into and she decide she didn't like it. I made sure to space out the classes because now she goes 2hrs Wed and an hour Friday in hopes she won't get burnt out on it. So far so good.
I would try and get to the root of why she wants to quit. Is it for play time with friends, something happen at gym that upset her, she wants to try something else? I would encourage her to stick with some type of activity at the least. My parents would let me drop out of each thing I tried easily and I wish they hadn't so I would have been more involved with school, especially in high school.

I can tell you how I felt when I was younger. I was in dancing and I wanted to quit and my mom said I had to stay in until I was 12(I don't remember the exact age, but it was a couple of years older than I was). By the time I turned 12, I loved it again and ended up in a ballet company and everything. What you don't want to do is teach that you can quit everything whenever you don't like it for a moment because then they will have a hard time adjusting later on in life when you can't just quit everything you don't like. You don't mention how old your daughter is, but you can make a deal with her. If she keeps it up for another year and then doesn't like it, then she could pick another sport or activity. What you don't want is to force her into anything because then she will just start to get depressed and blame you. Anyway, I hope that helps.

Hi M.,

How long has she been doing gymnastics and how many days a week is she going?
I have to say coming from my experience as a child that when my Mom put me in drill team I really hated it for at least the first 3 mnths.
She made me finish the foot ball season before letting me decide if I wanted to continue onto next season.
I'm actually very thankful she didn't let me quit. I threw some major tantrums over this but in the end, mom was right and it was the best thing for me. Once I got better and built up more confidence I really enjoyed the drill team.
I stayed on the team all the way up until high school where I then performed for my school and LOVED it.
Find out the reasons why she wants to quit and if she's over doing it, maybe cut back to an hour a week.
Good luck to you.

What are your reasons for wanting her to stay in the program? Is it just because she is "good" at it? Or are you trying to teach her about committment and responsibility? I would explore her reasons for why she wants to quit and then make a decision from there. Is she being teased? Is she feeling too much pressure? Does she have a problem with her coach?

Frankly, I would talk to her and encourage her to finish her current session that you have already paid for and then let her quit on an agreed upon schedule. I would not force her to continue if she does not enjoy it.

Good luck!

ABSOLUTELY!!! Give it time. Most kids want to do what they are really good at. She may just be burned out or want a break. Ask her what she wants to do about gymnastics. She should do it because she wants to.

Why don't you try giving her a break. Sometimes that helps. Bottom line is, if she's really not interested, then you can't force her to do it as it becomes a chore for her and she will resent you for it and hate it altogether.

Our children need us for guidance but ultimately, they need to be encouraged to decide for themselves - whether it's the right thing or not - as long as it is not a life threatening decision.

Hope that helps.

M.-
our son did the same thing when it came to baseball. For us, we found out that he was just seeing how much he could be in control of the situation. My husband and I both knew how much he LOVES baseball and he is a very talented player, so at first we were a little surprised. When he came to us and said "I don't want to play baseball anymore"- we asked him all the usual questions- did anyone hurt you, did a coach hurt you, etc. and then we simply said, OK and said nothing else- which surprised him. I think he let a day or so go by and came to us and said that he had changed his mind- he wanted to play.
We have always tried to teach all (5) of our children the importance of team work and finishing what you start and to be dependable, so in the back of our mind, we sort of knew that he would decide to play. He was about 9 or 10 at the time and I think he just wanted to make his own decision about something "big" for the first time. He is 16 now and still plays baseball- year 'round- and he loves it!
Maybe your daughter just wants to know that she isn't being forced into gymnastics....
K. M.

I have been there!! my daughter has taken since she was 4 years old,she can do back hand springs, tucks, lay outs, full twist you name it the girl has skills! but a while back it seemed like she always had a reason, sick, hurt ankle what ever to skip class. We took her out for for about 2 months and she soon was begging to go back she is now 11 and can't wait for Monday's to get here. I was a gymnist as well and i think since it is a year round sport, the gymnist do go through a burn out. What i did was just paid to keep her spot and when she was ready took her back. If you make her go, she ,ay stop tumbeling all togaher. Good luck!

M.,
Please do not think that i am preaching, but personally, if my child did not want to do a sport anymore, I would not force them too, no matter how good they are at it. If they are forced to stay in that sport they could end up hating it and resenting you for it. Maybe try other activities to see if you can spark her interest in other areas. You never know, she might surprise you in other areas as well. Good luck to you and your daughter.

M. -
You didn't say how old your daughter is, how long she's been taking gymnastics and if she's involved in any other activities.
I would first, find out WHY she wants to quit. Second, I would talk to her teacher/coach and find out if she is as enthusiastic as she once was (if she's been doing this for a while). Third, make her finish out the year/season. Tell her at the end of this time, if she still wants to quit, she can.
She does need to know that she is not going to be forced to do something she doesn't enjoy or want to do in regards to extracurricular activities. She may just need a break. Let her know if she doesn't want to be in gymnastics anymore, that she needs to be involved in something else - dance, piano, theatre, sports, karate, etc. Don't give her a choice on that. Extracurricular activities help 'round out' a child and teaches responsibility along with self-discipline.
My children were over involved - my daughter had piano lessons & three different dance classes. She ended up dropping the piano lessons, but stayed in dance and then in high school, started playing soccer. She is now working full time and going to school full time. My son was playing football, soccer and taking a dance class. He gave up the dance (only because the studio closed) - but, he also gave up on everything else. I won't go into what he is doing now, but I should have been more on top of it with him and made him stay in some sort of extracurricular activity.
Anyway - let the choice be hers whether to quit or not - but, again - make sure she's involved in some sort of activity.
Good Luck,
Frances

I always hate to see a kid stay in a sport if they aren't enjoying it, but try and check & see if it is someone else or the teacher in gymnastics she isn't wanting to stay in for , or if she is just tired of all the practice.

Don't burn her out! Seh may return to it in 3 months or in 3 years. Just re-evaluate...is it for you or her. Even if she is great, if her heart is not in it, she won't take it any further once she has the freedom. I've seen so many kids push their way throught jr. High and high school and even be offered a scholarship to turn it down b/c they are so tried and burnt out. There are so many wonderful activitie sout there. Take this time to explore some new things together and who knows, she may find another love or like i said realize she does want gym but just needs a breather. Good luck!

My daughter is 9 years old. She has taken gym since she was 3. She is now on a comp team. She takes 9 - 11 hrs a week all year long..........I am tired of gymnastics!!!!! She was ready to quit...totally completely never going back quit! We took a week off and she missed it so much that she was ready to go back the next monday. I did make it totally her choice. She is the one who has to live with the decision. "The most important thing......if it is just work it isnt worth the time." That was the quote from her coach. She advised us to take time off and not even think about it for a while. You have to enjoy a sport to really be able to put that much time into it. Good Luck.

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