GRRRR!! Sorry Have to Vent!!

omg, i too would be livid. i thought your vent was going to be over people not RSVP-ing, but to do so and not come???
that sucks.
so many congrats to you for reining it in and ensuring that your son had a wonderful time regardless.
but i would be punching pillows and kicking puppies for sure.
khairete
S.

7 moms found this helpful

I feel your pain. This is one of those things that just torques my chain.

This happened to my baby last year. Only ONE person showed up for Laser Tag. I was VERY sad for him. He cried and he was 9. Laser Nation was REALLY good to us - they didn't charge us for the no-shows (whew) and charged us for our family instead. It was our family, my best friend and one friend.

I cried for my son too. We still had fun though. All of us played Laser Tag.

I called people - one was still at a La Crosse game - okay. One was in the middle of moving and never showed up. And these are all people that we have known for YEARS (like since they were born years). I was VERY disappointed.

6 moms found this helpful

I'm so sorry, M..

I have to say that if that happened to me, I would write every single mom a note who RSVP'd that they would come, and tell them that no one showed up for your child's party. (The adult doesn't count.) Why? Not for sour grapes purpose. For a teaching moment's purpose.

These self-centered moms (and yes, they are - if they really could not have come, they would have called), need a wake-up call to show them that there are real consequences to their actions. You don't have to write it in an ugly way, but you should write it.

Maybe they'll think twice before doing it AGAIN. (And don't think they won't if they are never called on the carpet about it!)

D.

6 moms found this helpful

That is just SO wrong!

Sorry guys!

5 moms found this helpful

That is crazy! I'm so sorry that happened. I would be super pissed if it happened to any of my kids. I'm glad your son still had fun. Sheesh. That would probably sour me on ALL kid parties for the rest of my life.

4 moms found this helpful

Terrible!! I'm not surprised. I've heard of this happening quite a bit. I honestly think there are two annoying trends right now 1) Not RSVPing 2) Not feeling any obligation to live up to RSVP.

I think people say they're coming to be "nice" but give themselves no personal obligation to actually show up when the day comes, feeling like no one will notice because everyone else is coming.

There is NO EXCUSE not to give a call if a valid conflict pops up to warn the host you are not coming. There is no way around that . It is TERRIBLE MANNERS and karma will get these people. So sorry this happened!

4 moms found this helpful

So sorry. Sure wouldn't invite any of them to anything else!

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you have every right to be upset/frustrated, that is plain rude. I agree with Dawn, send each one a letter about it not only being disappointing to your son but it is a lot of work to throw a party and not have a single person not only not show but not even call to apologize.

3 moms found this helpful

Ugh. How rude!
My biggest gripe is people who cannot take 5 seconds to rsvp for a party, but to rsvp then not show--truly classless. Sorry.
Glad you were able to make the most of it for your son. :) Moms are heroes!

3 moms found this helpful

I have flaked going to bday parties. I always called after and apologized. You have every right to be angry. I also know how it feels to be on the other side of it and have no one show up at my party. It sucks, but it does teach one to be resilient in the face of adversity :) I'm really happy to hear he had fun anyway!

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This happened to us last year, I knew everyone personally for years. We spent a good $300 at chuck e cheese. I felt horrible, and no one even called to apologize, not the next day or even the next time we spoke. I had told one person about the original spot we were going to have it at, and then changed it because my son changed his mind. I didn't this person about the relocation because they made it clear that they would not be attending since they had another party at the same location a few hours after our party. Funny thing, this person ended up texting me to see which room we were in. When I told them we changed it, that was the last time we spoke. I lost a friend of 15+ years, but it's still beyond me why they got so upset to begin with. We decided no more big parties. We spent the same amount of money at Disneyland this year to celebrate his birthday and my son still can't stop talking about it. Maybe we'll try again in a few years, but I'm thinking teenage years, if even then. I empathize with you. But like you said, at least he had a good time. Hopefully he is young enough that it only effected you. Which was the case for us, being that my son was only 4 years old.

3 moms found this helpful

If I remember correctly your son is a bit quirky like mine. What I found was some of the moms just look at the schedule and RSVP then junior finds out and is mean about it. I don't want to go he is strange. Rather than admit your kid is a jerk you just bail without saying anything.

Just one of those things Andy has got used to. It makes me sad when he wants to have a big party like his sister but he just has to accept kids are mean and there are still kids that parents allow their kids to bully.

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Completely stinks. Yes, Grrrrr!

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So sorry! That is awful! I don't even know what to say!

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What? That is so rude. I can't believe it. How old? Was your son upset

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That's terrible!!!! Seriously thats every parents nightmare the night night before any birthday party. Glad to see that you are keeping your head up. I think that I would just fester to myself and my friends/family about it. I don't think that it'll be doing any favors to your child drawing attention to his birthday party disaster. Id be afraid that he could get bullied or teased about it at school. I'm sorry that that happened to you. Next time sorry to say you may want to call and remind people about the party the day before and if they aren't there at party time, call them and follow up with a "are you lost?" Best wishes and a very happy birthday to your son!

2 moms found this helpful

This is SO typical of our society nowadays. I don't care how busy you are, no one is busy enough or too good to respond to an invite - it takes 1 minute to call or text or email someone & tell them "yes" or "no". Common human courtesies are dying & everyone is so self absorbed. They don't RSVP and show up. They RSVP & flake out without a word. They don't respond at all. Argh!! It's very irritating and it's the reason we've done fun family trips instead of parties for the last 2 years.

What makes it worse is that the schools now ask that you invite everyone in the class if passing invites out at school, so no one feels left out. Doesn't seem like anyone cares too much, now, do they?

Next time, don't feel about calling or emailing a follow up.

2 moms found this helpful

im so sorry i feel bad for ya'll but this is the reason we do not have a big party for b-days, we only do us, as a family we just take our kids to do something we never have a party cause i would be so upset if that happen adn children dont understand, most of the time they dont notice, but i bet your son had a great party without them!!

2 moms found this helpful

I am so sorry!! I cannot believe parents would let this happen. Last year my daughter was invited to a party of a little girl in her class. I knew the whole class was not invited b/c the mom had called me ahead of time to see if the date was OK with us. I talked to my daughter and she said she'd go (even though she's not close with this girl at all). The day of the party my daughter said "I REALLY don't want to go!!!!!!" I told her "You made the commitment to go, they are expecting you, you are GOING!" When I dropped her off there were only 3 other children including the birthday girl (same kids were there when I picked her up) I'm so glad I made her go. What if the other 2 didn't want to go either? And my daughter did end having some fun. She's still not really friends with this girl, but I just knew that going to the party was the right thing to do. What is wrong with people these days?!?!? UGH.

1 mom found this helpful

People just do not care about invitations. They may or may not rsvp. Most do not. You got an above average response in my opinion.

In my experience we only invite friends. School friends might get invited but they are people who we know and have had play dates and other activities with. They are counted as friends too. This way we are on the phone with them and we know if they care coming on the day of. If they have forgotten we remind them since we are on the phone with them.

Inviting strangers/acquaintances to a party is often a let down. They are not attached to you emotionally and if something else comes along they will go do that.

Next time don't invite kids from school that you are not personal friends with. It will be much less hurtful or stressful.

You might also just do an in class party next year. If the teacher is okay with it you could go in the last 30 minutes of the day, have some cake, and perhaps have a class craft activity or something.

1 mom found this helpful

I have a feeling one of the three kids who didn't RSVP had a birthday party the same day. Or call me paranoid.

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I am so sorry. That is so rude . How can people be so insensitive to a child I will never understand. I am glad he had fun though . Thank goodness=0)

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Weird to RSVP and then not show. Perhaps a mean stomach bug hit the class and everyone was sick? If I had RSVPed and my kiddo got sick I would call. One time recently I didn't have the moms number and traffic was shut down because of a fatality accident and I got to the party right at the end. A bunch of people were late, even the grandpa. I'm happy your child had a good day. Sorry you spent more than you needed to.

1 mom found this helpful

This is one of the reasons that I have never done big parties to date. It IS expensive to have a big party. And to have all those people RSVP and not show up is completely unforgiveable. I would be crying for my son for sure.

The mama bear in me would want to send out a mass email (everyone bcc'd) to all that RSVP'd and did not show up. I would remind them that they did RSVP and not show up. Mention that NO ONE showed up and it needlessly hurt the feelings of a little boy. I am not sure that I would actually do this, but DAMN would I be tempted!

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How could the whole class not show up? That sounds strange, are you sure you gave the right date? Right address? I'm sorry that happened either way, that would piss me off too. Just seems so odd that the whole class would do that, you'd think at least one parent would have some common sense and common courtesy.

ETA: well geez that is awfully rude then, unless everyone forgot. But every single one?? I'd be tempted to call all these parents and ask in a nice way, what the hell is wrong with you?? Like don't they know it's already annoying enough when people DON'T rsvp, but to actually rsvp and then not show up is really rude.
If you're in your son's class a lot that could be an opportunity to mention it too if you run into the other moms. I'm sorry I just don't understand where some people's brains are at, I hope your little boy still had a good b-day.

That's horrible. I'm glad your son didn't really notice and he had a good time.

I can't imagine RSVPing yes and then not showing and not calling. And the whole class?!?!?! WTH?

That sucks!
This is why I hate plans and don't make them unless I have to because someone else has a plan that requires me to make a plan.
I believe the whole sending out of invitations thing is just a waste of time and money.
If you are having a party/get together or whatever, call your people that you want to come, talk to them on the phone, get a secure yes or no SO you really KNOW what's going on.
Our lives are so crazy, I cant tell you what I'm gonna do tomorrow let alone next wknd... even if someone did invite me, I always say "well, I don't know, but we'll be there if we can..."
I dont put anything in stone anymore unless I have to.
ETA:
Everyone but 3 kids RSVP'd. You probably dont know most of the moms on a personal basis, they might be all new at this... and finding that RSVPing is not all it's cut out to be. Obligation is often times hard to fulfill.
I only had ONE birthday party for my oldest son, I hated it... so I never had another party that wasnt just "close" people we knew and that we knew would come and not disspoint... they are called "friends". Don't invite a whole class of people just so you dont hurt someones feelings, partys are for friends/family not acquaintances.

They forgot. 2.5 weeks is too long to remember for most parents as i learned. You have to give reminders the week before. Its annoying I know, but some parents dont write it down on a family calender. I would be sooo irrate that I would send a note home to all the parents of their missed opportunity and a BILL! Since they were sooo rude and soo many of them call to let you know, i think it only right for you to charge them. In the real world if you dont cancel a party or a hotel room in time, the charge you. Put this i a letter home; Dear friends, last (birthday party date) was the birthday party of (your son) and he was absolutely heart broken that ONE PERSON SHOWED UP! Many RSVPed and pricey arrangements were made accordingly. There fore, I am asking each quest that previously accepted the invitation and rudely did not show up or call pay a late cancellation fee of (put specific amount here).

I'm SO sorry that happened to your son! All I can say is that people can be so stupid sometimes! UGH! I can't STAND the RSVP stuff, any of it! Unless I know for SURE that we will have people to invite who will show up now, we go with a family day or weekend away for birthdays now. The whole party thing is WAY overrated. So sad.

Wow, that is so disappointing. I planned two big parties for my son and only had one person flake out but it did irk me at the time because you are spending that money and you expect people to attend.

But I honestly got tired of spending all that money and getting a lot of presents we didn't use. So now we just go to a theme park for birthdays instead! My son doesn't miss the big parties. We do a small playgroup get together with just 3 or 4 close friends, people we have known for years who are reliable who my son knows very well and is best friend with too. We go mini golfing or just have ice cream and cupcakes instead.

I wonder if it's the economy and the classmates got too many invites from everyone else during the year and are burned out. No excuse, but just some people might be strapped for cash and are kind of tired of going to all the birthday parties towards the end of the school year....

I guess now you know for next year who not to invite for anything!