Gray Hair Question?

Updated on July 25, 2016
J.H. asks from Craig, CO
21 answers

I started covering my sparse gray hair when I was about 35, and I have since just gotten in the habit. I will admit, because I thought my grandmother and my great-grandmother were two of the most beautiful women I've ever seen, I've always harbored the desire to be completely gray like they were. :) However, I STILL just have a "spattering" of kind of unfortunate looking grays that show up in between coloring it. Every time, I wait just a little too long for my own comfort to cover them up, (I just don't like how they look. Wrong texture, just out of place) And then I tell myself that, nope, not yet? I'm not "gray enough" yet, I break down and hope that there will be enough next time to justify not coloring them again. And now, I'm almost 46, and when I don't cover up my gray hair, it still "just looks bad".

So, my question is, for all you mamas that have found yourselves more gray than not, FINALLY, but spent years coloring it out, just how long did you have to wait for it to finally look "natural" instead of just "neglected?" (Not sure that's the best word, but it works for how I see my own hair. :D )

I look forward to your responses. :)

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

I am okay with my grey even though it is not uniform yet, but my hair is usually a variety of shades of blue, green, red, and pink, so the grey really does not stand out much.

2 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I have white right in front of my ears.
It washes me out.
It's nothing that a little henna can't cover - and I get some great coppery highlights when I do.
Except for a few small spots - we don't really go all grey/white on my side of the family.
My mom is white in front of her ears (that's where I get it from) but the rest of her hair is as brown as it ever was - and she's 80.
My sister just bleaches to platinum and then deals with dark roots.

My husband is about 50/50 salt n pepper grey - he got rid of his mustache and cuts his hair short so it doesn't show so much.
He might eventually go completely white.
His dad was bald and my husband is in his 50s and his hasn't thinned or receded at all.

2 moms found this helpful

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B.P.

answers from Chicago on

I"m far from a fashionista, but I think you have to go with what looks good with your individual coloring. I am very pale, with light eyes. My hair is dark brown. My gray areas are around my temples and my forehead line. At various time, I've tried to "go gray", but I very quickly look washed out...there is just no contrast between my pale skin and that white/gray hair. Also, from what I understand gray hair is actually a different texture, coarser and inclined to do its own thing. Finally, I have a friend with olive skin and very dark brown eyes. Her hair is entirely white and it looks very striking and attractive on her.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

There was a neat feature story in a local newspaper a few years ago about the process of going from hiding gray to going all natural. They featured a colorist at a local salon who specializes in taking women through this process so that it's gradual. One client took a year or two to transition. The process involved gradually lightening up the color and using highlights. Rather than try to just quit coloring, work with you colorist on an exit strategy. Part of the problem with just stopping color is that you've already colored the older hair so then you just end up with a bad case of gray roots instead of long strands of gray naturally interspersed with what's left of your original, natural color. A good colorist can find a way to make the transition to your natural gray more gradual than a today I color, tomorrow I don't approach.

5 moms found this helpful

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

I started coloring when I was about age 23 because I had so many grey hairs coming already. I used henna at first but at some point it looked weirdly unnatural and I switched to regular hair color. I'm 45 now and I have stopped coloring my hair about 3 months ago. I have read too much about how there is a strong link between hair coloring and cancer. Besides this every time I color my hair I get a horrible migraine for the next 24 hours. And the last year or two the color only lasts about 2 weeks before all the grey hairs are showing again. My hair just does not hold color very long anymore. Anyway, I feel really happy to not be coloring my hair anymore, and I got a shorter cut to look more put together. I do not like how it looks most of the time, but I think I have to just let it all grow out and get used to it. It is interesting how all the grey is around my face and it looks like I will have a streak in the front. We shall see. Some days I think it's not too bad. Some days I hate it. I am determined though and I don't really care what others think.

4 moms found this helpful
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N.K.

answers from Miami on

You can have a stylist weave in some platinum blonde or grey strands like highlights, assuming you currently have a base color that matches your own (or the stylist can give you a new base color that matches your own) and that way, you can slowly transition into natural without multicolored hair in between. It won't be as drastic as coloring all your hair grey or all of it dark, and letting the top turn grey while the bottom half is still dark, this would look very odd. A stylist can help with ideas on this subject. I believe they call it "silver highlighting."

Some articles about this: http://www.vibrantnation.com/groups/fashion-beauty/blog/g...

http://www.everythingzoomer.com/back-to-grey-2/

http://www.toledoblade.com/frontpage/2006/10/22/Going-gra...

Pictures to look at/use as inspiration: http://content.latest-hairstyles.com/wp-content/uploads/2...

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/93/29/71/932971...

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/bb/4c/36/bb4c36...

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/bb/2f/6c/bb2f6c...

Hope this helps!!

3 moms found this helpful
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R.A.

answers from Houston on

I did like you are doing, for the same reason as you. Then, as if by magic, with menopause at age 50, the grey turned to white. My hair stylist suggested that we try letting it go natural. Now, a few years later, the white just looks like highlights on my brown-ish hair.

Emotionally I'm not ready for all white hair yet. If that becomes the case one day I'm not sure what I will do. But I've learned that grey/white hair requires a professional! Also, with my natural colors I look much younger. Another warning, I had to get new make-up, as it reflected on my face differently.

I should start saving the money I used to spend on highlights! I could probably take a cruise with the savings!

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R.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I don't think gray works on everyone. I will personally never go gray.

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M.G.

answers from Portland on

I kind of have what JB mentions.

My hairstylist has been going with lighter foils the last few years to blend in my greys. I get a few low-lights put in if it gets too light (I still have quite a lot of my natural color). But she intends to blend my hair until I will go all grey.

I guess it's ok - except I'm still getting used to being lighter. I liked my brunette and this is more caramel as she says. I should probably rethink my makeup.

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S.B.

answers from Houston on

This is interesting! I have been thinking about going "silver" myself. I have been coloring my hair since I was in my late teens early 20s. I'm 52 now. I color it light auburn and I have to do this every 3 weeks. Red is the most difficult color to keep. I do it myself so at least I'm "saving" there. However, I thought I might like to go silver. I would say I'm about 90% gray without coloring. Honestly, I haven't seen my "real" color in 30+ years! I have forgotten what it looks like!!

That all said, I'm scared to do this. I don't want to "look" old!!! But I am going to talk to my stylist next visit. =)

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E.B.

answers from Beaumont on

I'm in that transition process right now. I quit coloring it altogether. The only part that bothers me is the 2 inches completely surrounding my face. I've decided to have it "lowlighted" through a cap, again, just around those 2 inches surrounding my face. I think that will be, for me, a good transition. The rest of my head has just a little gray so I'm good with that. That transition time is very slow. I'm keeping it shorter but it's only been about 6 months and I have to stay on top of it or it looks really bad. I think it's just something we just have to get through.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

When my hair was about 1/4 gray, I started going natural by "frosting" my hair. I was in my late 30s. Because my family members were gray early, I knew my hair would be a combination of gray and eventually white. When there was enough gray and white that frosting didn't stand out, I stopped frosting. It was a gradual process. My hair is now mostly white in front and has more white than grey in back.

You're not getting a lot of gray quickly, you may never have enough gray to be comfortable going natural. Do you know how quickly your mother and grandmother turned gray than white. My mother and grandmother were already grey when I was at the age to notice. My grandmother turned steel grey quickly. My mother's hair was white by the time she was around 50.

My adopted daughter is 36. She has several individual grey hairs, enough to notice, in her dark hair. They seem to sparkle. I like the effect. She doesn't mind it.

2 moms found this helpful

K.A.

answers from San Diego on

At 45 my hair is still it's natural color. In fact it's never been colored ever. I see grey hairs hiding but I don't really care. It's all a part of living life and being around another wonderful year. When I am super silver I've joked about getting mermaid hair just because I could. We'll see if I do or not.

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N.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

You can start out by having a professional do your hair with streaks. I used to do frosting kits then it wasn't such a shock when I let more grow out. Having a whole new hairstyle with various colors in it can create the format for your hair to grow out to a more natural look.

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J.C.

answers from New York on

I'd suggest seeing a colorist. They can advise you on how to proceed and not have 4 inch roots.

Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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R..

answers from San Antonio on

If it were up to me I would wear my grey with pride....I have an awesome perfect stripe of grey on one side of my head.

My dearest husband however is not ready for me to look older....he still sees me as in my 20s....which is good I guess. He likes me to color my hair. And really sense he don't mind the cost of keeping it colored I go and get it touched up every seven to eight weeks. (Just can't make myself go at six weeks and really I can stretch it out....I am more frugal on spending for that sort of thing).

I figure eventually I will just let it go grey....but for now if it keeps me looking younger and more appealing to my DH....I will make the effort to keep up the coloring...and it is kinda fun to change it up a bit and get highlights or low lights....go more red or much darker...

So I can't answer you....I think I would go and have it all colored as close to your gray as possible with a great colorist rather than let it grow out slowly. Unless you have really short hair....that way you get there all at once.

Good luck!!

1 mom found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Boston on

Mine came in very unevenly - a patch here, a patch there, nothing even symmetrical. My neighbor's came in early (late 30s) but is a beautiful, glorious silver, and she looks fabulous. Another friend colored for years, and finally let herself go gray and it looks good - but hers is fairly even (at least symmetrical, which mine is not).

So it's very individual. A lot of women go to highlights and a lighter color so the growing-in part isn't so obvious. I touch up the roots in between salon visits - Nice & Easy Root Touch up blends well (and I've messed up on the color choice a few times when I got confused between Dark Golden Brown and Medium Golden Brown, and you can't tell). My husband does it for me, and my friend's husband does it for her.

But I agree there's a good transition possible using a good colorist so you don't go through the awful "in between" stage.

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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

I don't have gray hair ...... I have silver highlights... LOL

I perm my hair and it's baby fine so I can't color. Besides I am 61 and have 10 grandchildren I should have gray hair it's a natural part of life.

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F.B.

answers from New York on

White/ grey/ silver requires some maintenance too otherwise it can go dingy yellowish and even a little green. Once upon a time old ladies used to use blue rinse to combat this and keep their white looking white. Not sure what's on the market now.

I'm about 10% grey. The grey though is wiry and unruly. I'm coloring for now as the color seems to weigh the hair down in a good way.

Good luck

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S.R.

answers from Phoenix on

I was a little unclear what you're asking, but my natural color is dark blonde/light brown. If I use a dark blonde color, it doesn't always cover all the gray. So what I've started doing is using a light ash brown, then, in a second step, I highlight multiple strands with Sally bleach (the kind that is used for your face/brows) and it comes out very natural with little highlights. I've had stylist amazed that I did it myself.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

I'm 51, my hair is naturally salt and pepper, and I recently dyed it blue. Not an old lady blue rinse, but electric mermaid blue. And I get nothing but compliments on it.

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